Staff room chat

angeleyes

Its only a small issue but I am somewhat annoyed.

I work in a school as the p.a. and have my break with the SNA's and the caretaker. We were just chatting in the staff room and a person's name came up and I said he was a "prick. I didn't use the F bomb or the C bomb or anything else. Ok not a nice word I accept. One SNA started giving out - ok she's entitled to do but then I was complained to the Principal for inappropriate language.

My issue is - staff member should have come to me- we could have talked and I could have been given the chance to apologise, its just the underhand way she went to the Principal and had to get me into "trouble". I do a lot of extras that are appreciated and I get on great with the Principal she is lovely but I now feel uncomfortable going into the staff room at break time. Its petty I know but I am I unreasonable to expect a staff conversation just that?

uck51js9zml2yt

You were an idiot and it's her fault....Stop digging and show them you're mature by going into the canteen.

angeleyes

Lyle Loud Mincemeat wrote: »

You were an idiot and it's her fault....Stop digging and show them you're mature by going into the canteen.

How was I an idiot? I just said a word this person didn't like. I thought she dealt with it and forgot about it. But she didn't and was underhand well I think so.

Dial Hard

angeleyes wrote:

How was I an idiot? I just said a word this person didn't like. I thought she dealt with it and forgot about it. But she didn't and was underhand well I think so.

If the person is a colleague or someone you all know personally then you were extremely foolish to have a go at them at work.

If you were talking about a public figure and they just took issue with your language, then they were being incredibly precious.

R.D. aka MR.D

She's obviously sensitive which is shocking to hear. Not too many people I know would be offended by the word 'prick'. But she obviously was and in the strictest sense, we all know we shouldn't be cursing at work.

If you have a problem with the way she handled it, you have two options. Confront her and let her know that you would have appreciated a chance to apologise or get on with things as normal and just don't engage with her. Be civil and professional but don't get into any relaxed chat with her.

angeleyes

Dial Hard wrote: »

If you were talking about a public figure and they just took issue with your language, then they were being incredibly precious.

That's exactly it - it was a public figure. I have always been polite to staff members.

manonboard

Honestly, Just take it as a lesson learned. I have no problem with coarse language at all unless it hits things like N etc.
It is unprofessional and you should always be professional in work so don't do it again.

I think the lesson i'd like to suggest to you is not that you did something 'wrong' but that the work place is full of absolute odd balls who are so sensitive to so many various degrees of things its a minefield unless you know how to play it well.
Just simply see it for the pattern it is, this person is semi dangerous to your career and relationships in work. So be more careful around them, and only divulge your personal opinions on things in that way around people who you can trust to just be cool with things. Work people are not work friends! Find that subset and just be polite to the rest.

Sorry they give you the friendship conversation, but they arent required. Rules are in place so people don't have tbh.

rawn

angeleyes wrote:

That's exactly it - it was a public figure. I have always been polite to staff members.

Ah well then. Politely ask the delicate little flower why she took offense to such mild language, say you'll be more aware in future just to smooth it over but really... She had zero need to go to the principal about it. So childish. She could have just asked you to watch your language and left it at that.

angeleyes

Thanks for the replies, I'm good at reading people and I kinda knew that she could be "awkard" but running with tales I thought was extremely childish. I thought it was chat in the staff room - and no students around. Totally agree with you rawn.

I honestly thought I left stupid childish politics after me when I worked in manufacturing years ago.

angeleyes

manonboard wrote: »

Honestly, Just take it as a lesson learned. I have no problem with coarse language at all unless it hits things like N etc.
It is unprofessional and you should always be professional in work so don't do it again.

I think the lesson i'd like to suggest to you is not that you did something 'wrong' but that the work place is full of absolute odd balls who are so sensitive to so many various degrees of things its a minefield unless you know how to play it well.
Just simply see it for the pattern it is, this person is semi dangerous to your career and relationships in work. So be more careful around them, and only divulge your personal opinions on things in that way around people who you can trust to just be cool with things. Work people are not work friends! Find that subset and just be polite to the rest.

Sorry they give you the friendship conversation, but they arent required. Rules are in place so people don't have tbh.

Thank you manonboard - fabulous post.

Sleeper12

angeleyes wrote:

How was I an idiot? I just said a word this person didn't like. I thought she dealt with it and forgot about it. But she didn't and was underhand well I think so.

It's not an appropriate thing to say in some workplaces. I can see how a school might be one of these workplaces.
If was OK to use then you won't get a dressing down from the principal. If you do get a dressing down then it was the wrong thing to say in your workplace.

Mrs OBumble

rawn wrote: »

Ah well then. Politely ask the delicate little flower why she took offense to such mild language, say you'll be more aware in future just to smooth it over but really... She had zero need to go to the principal about it. So childish. She could have just asked you to watch your language and left it at that.

Except that the potty-mouthed one is the principal's PA, so a good deal further up the food chain than an SNA is. So the SNA probably would have expected her request to be ignored.

OP when you're with colleagues, keep it professional. Doesn't matter if there are students around or not. As a PA especially it really shouldn't need to be spelled out to you.

_Brian

angeleyes wrote: »

How was I an idiot? I just said a word this person didn't like. I thought she dealt with it and forgot about it. But she didn't and was underhand well I think so.

How were you not would be easier answered.
Inappropriate language in the workplace is always going to get noticed and people don't like it.

angeleyes

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Except that the potty-mouthed one is the principal's PA, so a good deal further up the food chain than an SNA is. So the SNA probably would have expected her request to be ignored.

A bit ott Mrs OBumble - am always professional at work and its been said and noted to me and I have been always complimented on the extras that I do.

We were in a staff room out of hearing from any students and it was an off the cuff remark and if the SNA had an issue she could have had the manners to speak to me and I would have apologised to her like a lady but she didn't.

Not saying I'm perfect but... I don't tell tales.

joe40

That is about the craziest thing i have heard. Initially I thought you had referred to a colleague as a "prick" and thought dodgy one-could be trouble depending on who knows who. But the problem was just the use of the word and you were reported to the principal.
I'm a teacher in a secondary school and if that woman was in our staff-room she would be very busy reporting!!

Dial Hard

_Brian wrote:

How were you not would be easier answered. Inappropriate language in the workplace is always going to get noticed and people don't like it.

Ah come on. I work in an extremely professional field and if someone said "Donald Trump is a prick" over lunch no-one would even bat an eyelid.

angeleyes

lol I need to come and work with you guys

heldel00

Imagine the poor principal that has to deal with this sort of over reactive nonsense.
I wouldn't sweat it OP. I would however let herself know that she should have spoken to you before being a tell-tale-tattler!

colm_mcm

Is it normal in schools for teachers to be segregated from other staff on breaks? Just curious

mickmac76

OP I don't think your comment was any way over the top. Is the person who reported you new to the work place perhaps. I worked in manufacturing and I've noticed in the past that some people straight out of college would be shocked at the things said on the floor. It took them a while to adjust and then they were generally fine. Also, how did the school principal take it. Did he call you in and just go through the motions or did he take it very seriously.

Surreptitious

I had a professional career as a chef in very fancy restaurants/hotels and the filth I had to listen to was unbelievable. This sounds like a complete joke to me. What is she, 12 or something?

kravmaga

angeleyes wrote: »

Its only a small issue but I am somewhat annoyed.

I work in a school as the p.a. and have my break with the SNA's and the caretaker. We were just chatting in the staff room and a person's name came up and I said he was a "prick. I didn't use the F bomb or the C bomb or anything else. Ok not a nice word I accept. One SNA started giving out - ok she's entitled to do but then I was complained to the Principal for inappropriate language.

My issue is - staff member should have come to me- we could have talked and I could have been given the chance to apologise, its just the underhand way she went to the Principal and had to get me into "trouble". I do a lot of extras that are appreciated and I get on great with the Principal she is lovely but I now feel uncomfortable going into the staff room at break time. Its petty I know but I am I unreasonable to expect a staff conversation just that?

Okay this woman or SNA is possibly a very sensitive person when she heard the word P****, not sure what your staff handbook states but it could be seen as inappropriate language in the workplace . She obviously does not like you otherwise she would not have reported you directly to the Principal, keep going into the break room and dont let it faze you. Just mind your p's and q's in front of this woman as she clearly has an agenda against you. Just keep the mouth shut and keep the conversation light, dont give an opinion of anyone if the conversation goes that way again :-)

heldel00

^^^ it was a public figure she/he called a prick. Not anyone on staff or known personally to the "squealer"!!

kravmaga

heldel00 wrote: »

^^^ it was a public figure she/he called a prick. Not anyone on staff or known personally to the "squealer"!!

Ive ammended that, thanks

listermint

This is hilarious.

I'd put money down the complainer is a FG supporter through and through.

Precious.

Can't even use a mild curse word

Give me a break.... But not with her cos that would melt my head

tedpan

P.A? SNA? Huh??

jetsonx

I've worked with a lot of professions.

One thing I've noticed is that teachers, especially primary school teachers, are shall we say, a little bit different.
Their interactions with adults of the "real world" often follow an "adult-to-child" type-schema. That is why you will
often hear parents say they felt patronised during a parent-teacher meeting. Because, the teacher could not break free from their "adult-to-child" persona.

In some cases, their interactions with adults are could be described as "child-to-child". In their insulated world of The Little People, your comment (which is normal parlance at most water coolers) pierced her bubble. Her going to the principal (read Daddy) was to scold you (the playground bad boy). It was of course, also to look good in her Daddy's principal's eyes.

OP, don't sweat over this. Some primary school teachers should live in the real world for a few years after leaving Pats. Then they can join the world of The Little People. I reckon it would make them better rounded individuals and better teachers.

Ki ki

jetsonx wrote: »

In some cases, their interactions with adults are could be described as "child-to-child". In their insulated world of The Little People, your comment (which is normal parlance at most water coolers) pierced her bubble. Her going to the principal (read Daddy) was to scold you (the playground bad boy). It was of course, also to look good in her Daddy's principal's eyes.

Spoiler alert: the principal is The Mammy 😛

"the Principal she is lovely"

Mrs OBumble

heldel00 wrote: »

^^^ it was a public figure she/he called a prick. Not anyone on staff or known personally to the "squealer"!!

We don't know that: it's quite possible that the public figure is the SNA's cousin or something.

I'm foreign, and don't have the working knowledge of who's who that your average local has. My working assumption is that all Irish people are related unless advised otherwise. And even if advised otherwise, I still bear in mind that they might be third cousins and not know about it. Now - of course I know that they mostly aren't related. But behaving as if they are keeps me out of trouble.

heldel00

jetsonx wrote: »

I've worked with a lot of professions.

One thing I've noticed is that teachers, especially primary school teachers, are shall we say, a little bit different.
Their interactions with adults of the "real world" often follow an "adult-to-child" type-schema. That is why you will
often hear parents say they felt patronised during a parent-teacher meeting. Because, the teacher could not break free from their "adult-to-child" persona.

In some cases, their interactions with adults are could be described as "child-to-child". In their insulated world of The Little People, your comment (which is normal parlance at most water coolers) pierced her bubble. Her going to the principal (read Daddy) was to scold you (the playground bad boy). It was of course, also to look good in her Daddy's principal's eyes.

OP, don't sweat over this. Some primary school teachers should live in the real world for a few years after leaving Pats. Then they can join the world of The Little People. I reckon it would make them better rounded individuals and better teachers.

You need to get out and meet a few more primary teachers because your representation of us there is ridiculous.

angeleyes

It wasn't a member of teaching staff, it was an SNA - who is very religious and holy. Teachers are lovely and I get on well with them all especially the Principal.

The SNA is always on a bit of a power trip, my DD is a pupil in the school and tells me she's always trying to get her friends and my own DD into trouble.

listermint - am laughing at your post as I actually met my DH through Fine Gael so when I used the P bomb it wasn't about Enda but you made me laugh so thank you for that.

Thank you all for the replies, I've always had a great working relationship anywhere I did work - and never had an issue. I actually got a fright as I thought I was getting the sack (not ever having any problems before) yesterday I was fed up but now I am annoyed that a supposedly mature woman could not come to speak to me but had to run to the Principal and make a mountain out of a molehill.

Mods if you wish to close the thread by all means do. Thanks.

pilly

I would be extremely peed off too. It's childish behaviour to go running to the principal. Okay if you said it in front of children then that's a different matter but you said it in a canteen. Strictly that is your own time and you can say what you like. And I know the PC crowd are going jump up and down and say you're still in the workplace but if it came to a disciplinary issue I would definitely be arguing that I was on a break.

Other than that not much you can do, horrible to have to sit in a canteen with her afterwards but feck it, grin and bear it.

infogiver

After 30+ years of staff canteen I've learned that the best approach is to keep it a completely controversy-free zone. No politics no religion no discussing anyone who isn't there no even mild swear words and no graphic descriptions of your social life.
There's loads to talk about that won't upset or offend anyone, keep your opinion on controversial subjects to yourself.

_Brian

From the minute you step in the door of the workplace until you leave you must be aware that work rules apply and you should behave accordingly.

Teyla Emmagan

heldel00 wrote:

You need to get out and meet a few more primary teachers because your representation of us there is ridiculous.

I thought that was hilarious actually! Am sure it's a bit of a generalisation but I'd say there is a grain of truth there.

listermint

infogiver wrote: »

After 30+ years of staff canteen I've learned that the best approach is to keep it a completely controversy-free zone. No politics no religion no discussing anyone who isn't there no even mild swear words and no graphic descriptions of your social life.
There's loads to talk about that won't upset or offend anyone, keep your opinion on controversial subjects to yourself.

Most boring job / person ever .

Oh and the username is not apt

Mrs OBumble

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

I thought that was hilarious actually! Am sure it's a bit of a generalisation but I'd say there is a grain of truth there.

Far more than just a grain.

Neyite

I'd say working with me would give the SNA a nervous breakdown.:P And I'm not even the worst in the office. We don't swear constantly, but sometimes discussions of current affairs, or being flat out trying to meet a deadline or a printer misbehaving, its human nature to swear a little. I'm sure your boss was trying really hard not to roll her eyes at her tattling on you.

Is it a religious school? I'm wondering if it was does she think that all staff should be devout just like her and feels that you don't fit the school ethos. But that's her problem, not yours.

Look, she's shown you who she is. Make note of it for the future, be coolly polite and civil to her, but cultivate friendships elsewhere. She's destructive and vindictive and could damage your career if you don't keep her at arms length.