Valentines Day

quadrifoglio verde

What is it with all the pressure on men to buy their partner a stupid present on Valentines?
If you don't buy a crappy box of chocolates or an overpriced bouquet of flowers you're deemed to not care about your loved one!

I just don't get it.
Whats romantic about a man going out and buying over priced tat in preparation for the 14th of Feburary, because society says he should? Romance isn't about conforming to the norm. Its spontaneity. Buying your loved one a present out of the blue for no reason at all in the middle of January is surely more romantic than buying her something on Hallmark day? Not that you need to buy her a present in the first place to be romantic anyway.

Thankfully, herself despises the day. When asked by my female work colleagues what Im getting her, I'm met by death stares when I reply nothing. I explain that I think its a stupid day that in no way expresses my love for someone, anymore than the 13th or 15th of February. More death stares. I'm told that I'm making a catastrophic mistake and that it will just be myself and my hand that night.

So men, will you bow to pressure, and buy a crappy gift, or will you be the man you're meant to be and ignore it?

tigger123

If it means that little to you, why don't you bite the bullet and buy your partner some flowers? It's one day a year.

Malari

If you hate it, and your partner hates it, who cares what some busybodies in work think?

More people I know don't celebrate it than do.

Dial Hard

tigger123 wrote:

If it means that little to you, why don't you bite the bullet and buy your partner some flowers? It's one day a year.

Because she doesn't give a sh*t about it either.

Tbh, OP, I don't know anyone over the age of about 14 who pays it any attention. My ex-husband's birthday was Valentine's Day, we always just stayed at home with a nice dinner and then celebrated his birthday the following weekend. Wild horses couldn't drag me out on Valentine's.

woodchuck

I'm not really into it, but it is nice to get a card and some chocolates... because it's always nice to get chocolates :pac: I don't have double standards though, I do the same for my bf! I don't understand why so much pressures is put specifically on men to do something though. Don't most women who receive something from their OH give them a card/present on Valentines day too

[Couldn't pay me to go out to a restaurant on V-day though!!]

Mr Bloat

quadrifoglio verde wrote: »

What is it with all the pressure on men to buy their partner a stupid present on Valentines?
If you don't buy a crappy box of chocolates or an overpriced bouquet of flowers you're deemed to not care about your loved one!

I just don't get it.
Whats romantic about a man going out and buying over priced tat in preparation for the 14th of Feburary, because society says he should? Romance isn't about conforming to the norm. Its spontaneity. Buying your loved one a present out of the blue for no reason at all in the middle of January is surely more romantic than buying her something on Hallmark day? Not that you need to buy her a present in the first place to be romantic anyway.

Thankfully, herself despises the day. When asked by my female work colleagues what Im getting her, I'm met by death stares when I reply nothing. I explain that I think its a stupid day that in no way expresses my love for someone, anymore than the 13th or 15th of February. More death stares. I'm told that I'm making a catastrophic mistake and that it will just be myself and my hand that night.

So men, will you bow to pressure, and buy a crappy gift, or will you be the man you're meant to be and ignore it?

Why does ignoring it make us the men we're meant to be? With this line you are putting the opposite pressure on others to conform to what you think should happen and anyone who doesn't is less of a man, in your eyes. I don't think the day is anything special myself but my wife likes getting a bunch of flowers and a card on the day. I enjoy the smile she gives me when I produce them, why does that make me less of a man?

Just to add, I do surprise her at random times during the year with flowers too, it's not just Valentines.

The significance of the day for some is that it may be the only day that their partner lavishes attention on them. Let them enjoy the day, you don't need to mark it if your partner agrees with you that it's a sham.

whiskeyman

My wife doesn't care for it, but thinks at least it's the one day of the year even the worst partners may make some effort!

Although she thinks nothing of it, it'd still make a homemade card and breakfast in bed etc...
It's nothing special I wouldn't do anyway, but what girl isn't gonna turn down being made a fuss of

um7y1h83ge06nx

It has become a running joke/tradition of ours to go to McDonalds for a "romantic" Valentine's meal. Just happened a few years back that it fell on the weekend and we popped into one for a quick snack after some shopping, thought we would keep up the tradition.

Neither of us are into this peer pressure stuff so usually I might get some flowers or something small and we might cook something nice and relax. Wouldn't touch a restaurant with a barge-pole.

Pawwed Rig

Not a big fan mainly because getting flowers is alot of hassle that I don't really have time for but it makes Mrs happy so I just go with it.

Uriel.

I don't get why people care, one way or another. If you're in a relationship, do whatever is felt is central to that relationship. If that means showy cliche valentines stuff, well then great more power to you. If it means something else well just as much power to you. You are you. She is she and you as a couple is you as couple. **** everyone else.
For what it's worth op. I'm married. We bought each other Philips hue bulbs a few weeks ago to continue our shared love for smart home expansion

On Monday 13th we're going to a concert. Beforehand we'll get an early bird dinner. On 14th we'll do nothing, nothing at all. We're very happy

Bowlardo

I think it ends up being a competition. Between the ladies.."what did he get you for valentines?"...i worked in a predominately woman environment and there was some sad sacks that used to send flowers TO work...there is a massive level insecurity there somewhere ...either he is marking his territory. Or she is demanding he sends them...not sure which is worse.

silverharp

I only ever associated Valentines with cards as a teenager and that its probably not a good night to go to a restaurant..

johnnyskeleton

People like events. Being brought out for a meal on valentines day is seen as more romantic than dinner on another day. And if its seen as such then for many people it is.

Going out of your way to make a point of not doing valentinsey stuff is also getting into the event, in its way.

Stheno

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

People like events. Being brought out for a meal on valentines day is seen as more romantic than dinner on another day. And if its seen as such then for many people it is.

Going out of your way to make a point of not doing valentinsey stuff is also getting into the event, in its way.

I see Valentines as a break in the dreary Jan/Feb months to celebrate.

We did it Friday, rather I did it Friday, got the OH a new electric razor and a few other small gifts.

We'll do nothing on the day itself

Twas fun to cheer him up as he's been ill recently

Stheno

Stheno wrote: »

I see Valentines as a break in the dreary Jan/Feb months to celebrate.

We did it Friday, rather I did it Friday, got the OH a new electric razor and a few other small gifts.

We'll do nothing on the day itself

Twas fun to cheer him up as he's been ill recently

Same really, the chap is just coming to the end of a particularly challenging time and since it's Vday and his birthday next week I bought him a TH watch he's been eyeing up for some time.

It's just an excuse to show him a little extra appreciation for all the support he's given me, and to mark some professional milestones he's achieved lately. The actual date itself means little to me.

Bambi985

going out for dinner to the restaurant we had our first date in for Valentines this year.

we're not usually pushed on it, he'll usually buy me some flowers or maybe i'll make him dinner etc, but this year has been tough on us as a couple so it makes it that bit more special.

beardybrewer

I think if you simply spend time together with the one you love then what you do or what you give is irrelevant. Find a women who agrees and you might have a keeper.