Moving to Edinburgh for 6 months - parents are not happy

LegacyUser

In June, it's looking likely that I will be moving to Edinburgh for 6 months for college placement. I'm 22 and will be going on my own, although there are other students from the college that will be working at the same place also. I've never been abroad before on my own so it will be a hugely scary and exciting transition but I also think it will be the making of me and my gut instinct is telling me to go. I'll also never get an opportunity like this again.

The problem is my parents are very reluctant about the idea. Consistently telling me that they would miss me and that I am not that streetwise. I have done my research and I really feel these 6 months in Edinburgh would do me the world of good. I'm also working alongside my college regarding accommodation. My parents are in their early to late 60's and are both set in their ways. Neither of them have ever left my hometown (apart from my mam when she was a teenager) and said they won't be travelling over to see me for the 6 months. My Dad has a fear of flying and hen I asked my mum she simply said "I'm not a traveller. I haven't got on a plane for years.' I just feel quite disheartened that neither of them could be bothered to get over a fear of flying for their daughter - they tell me they'll miss me, yet make it clear that they will have no intention of flying over to visit me during those 6 months. My older sister thinks their reasons are selfish and to not let them change my mind. She also thinks the experience would be brilliant for me. They also keep saying they'd be worrying about me over there.

I suppose my question is why are they being like this? Has anyone else had a similar experience. I wish they would share in my excitement at going but they are just not happy about the idea at all.

Also, if anyone's ever been to Edinburgh or even had the experience of making the leap abroad, general advice would be really appreciated, regarding homesickness, etc..I onow I WILL get homesick but I also know I'll be meeting so many new people that I won't have time to be too lonely. Many thanks for any advice

JuliusCaesar

Your sister is right. If they are going to miss you that much, show them how to use Skype or similar. Then you can assuage their worries, and not feel guilty about going. And anyway, if they don't want to fly, they can get the ferry over and bus or train to Edinborough... but it sounds like they don't want to budge out of their own comfort zone at all.

You have your internship, you'll have friends, you are sorting out accommodation - you seem to have your head screwed on. Have a ball!

Will your sister visit?

Call me Al

They have a fear of the unknown. Do you still live at home? If you do then they probably still see you in the child role. They want you near them and probably aren't too comfortable with seismic changes of this sort.
And your sister is probably right when she says they're being selfish.

But you're 22.. Old enough to be able to balance a budget and make your way from a to b independently. And you seem to have your head well screwed on.
Go off and enjoy yourself.

Scraggs

This is an amazing opportunity for you and I would grasp it with both hands. I'm sure it's natural that your parents have concerns especially as they seem to be quite settled in their ways but I would not let this hold you back. I moved to another part of the UK for a few years and it was a brilliant experience. I was dreadfully homesick at times and other times I was so lonely I thought I would have to move home but overall I loved it. You're lucky that you have colleagues going also which will make the transition easier.
Not sure if its a paid placement or not but if not if I would save as much money as possible between now and when you leave so you have a reserve of cash and can make regular trips home if you need/want to. Or for making the most of your time there and travelling about getting to see all the sights! My parents only visited once in like 5 years so I wouldn't worry too much about that. I would start "training" your parents in how to use Skype/facetime/whatsapp video calls now as it took my parents ages to get the hang of it lol but makes being away easier.

The experience you get on placement is invaluable when it comes to looking for a job so I wouldn't hesitate for a second, also the life experience of moving another country in itself.... could be the making of you!

Sound Bite

Your sister is right.

Sort them out on skype before you leave so you can have regular contact with them.

They are from a different generation and heading of somewhere for 6 months wasn't the done thing when they were your age. A friend of mine recently left a permenent pensionable job to take up contracting work with a higher income and more opportunity - his parents in their 70s nearly lost their minds, again because it would have been unthinkable in their day.

Your parents will come around. Your sister will probably visit and might be able to convience them to join her.

Don't let their old fashioned believes/fears ruin your opportunity.

freshpopcorn

Hi OP!
I've often heard of people's parents similar to yours and some would express them to their kids and others wouldn't.
My advice is to go and see how it works out. You might love it or hate. Your parents can ring you or contact you via apps/internet and if they've trouble doing this ask your sister to help.
Tell them that this is for college and it isn't forever and it will look good on your CV.
You might also have an aunt or uncle who'd have a chat with them also.
I'd advise you or your sister to keep an eye on them tough because it might be very stressful on them regarding their blood pressure or they might have an anxiety issue and talking to the GP would help.

athtrasna

I went to the UK for university at 17. My parents were nervous but I think they'd have been just as nervous if I'd gone to a city university in Ireland.

What helped them to relax was them seeing first hand where the college was, where I would be living and sorting me out with a phone card to call home.

Edinburgh is a great city, I love it. Have your parents been there OP? I think it would help them. As others have said Skype and its ilk will help them to feel that you're closer

Zaph

Your parents are concerned that you're not streetwise. Exactly how do they expect you to become streetwise if they insist on restricting your experience to your home town? Go to Edinburgh, it's a really nice city, and going there will definitely be good for you. And you never know, it might be good for them too as they'll get to see that their little girl is actually an adult.

naughtysmurf

Listen to your big sis

pc7

This sounds like a great opportunity, go for it! Edinburgh is a beautiful city, lots to do and see, great nightlife. You have nothing to lose by going. The 6 months will fly in, you might get the travel bug.
Your parents will have to adjust, Skype is a great idea. Maybe your mom might travel over with your sister for a weekend?

baby and crumble

TBH Op, at 22 you're more than capable of living on your own- I was on my own for college having moved to Dublin from the country at barely 18.

Your parents obviously still see you as a child, and need to snap out of that. I'm assuming you still live with them? They've gotten used to having you around, I'd say. and tbh the only thing that will sort that out is leaving. I know plenty of people who had parents that were like yours- and moving away for a defined period of time helps break that.

Your parents are only in their 60's. My Dad turns 70 this year and he had Whatsapp before I did! You need to teach them how so they can communicate with you, but if i'm honest, you have to prioritise yourself and your career. At 22 you must be near final year- you're hardly going to live with them forever and never move out?!!?

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies everyone! It's not even the fact that they have to fly there that's the issue, they wouldn't go on a ferry! My Dad won't even go anywhere on a bus/train as he HAS to be the one driving. He won't even go into a lift/elevator. My mam has none of these issues but her reasoning simply is she doesn't travel. Maybe their age is an issue? My mam is 62 this year and Dad will turn 70. They're dead set in their ways and I think the fact we live in a rural backend of nowhere doesn't help matters either!

My sister is DEFINITELY going to be visitin me, she went to Edinburgh for her hen night 5 years ago and she told me she would love to live there.

The college is going to try pair me up with other people going over there. So while I don't actually know anyone going over there as yet, I will soon. I'll be working in a hotel which I am sure is a great place to meet people They 100% do still see me as a child and I just don't know why they can't see why I'd want to show them that I can make own way in the world

Call me Al

Just something else to bear in mind... If you were from the far end of the country from your college you'd have had to have moved out when you were 17/18 like thousands and thousands of other students do every September. We all (well most of us :-) ) survived the experience. It's fun. Our parents would have been anxious... heck what decent parents wouldn't be . But in my case they were astute enough not to burden me with their adult/parental worries.
Go, live your life, develop your career, and learn new things while your in a position to do so. Travel and enjoy the experiences it offers you. Be careful obviously, but have fun... you're only 22!!

clappyhappy

Congratulations op, it's a great opportunity for you and I wish you the very best of luck. Edinburgh is a wonderful city and from personal experience I think you'd love it. It is only an hour's flight so you can be home or they can be across in no time. Do you think your mum would go over with your sister for a weekend, in the summer they'd love it, loads to do there, botanical gardens, Princes Street gardens, plus the tourist hot spots, royal mile, Balmoral castle etc. Also the fringe festival is on for the month of august, loads to see and do then plus great atmosphere. Go, have fun and enjoy finding your own feet in a wonderful city. I'm lucky I get over there 3-4 times a year, husband's dad lives there and I and the kids love it. Go for it and enjoy every moment, you're only an hour away...

Ursus Horribilis

Like everyone else is saying here, Edinburgh is a great city and you should go. I only know Edinburgh from being a tourist there but if someone gave me the chance to move there for 6 months I'd snap their hand off. I've been there a couple of times and thought it was a lovely city. Unless you've never been on your own in the centre of Dublin or Cork, you'll find it a breeze You're also not going to get much of a culture shock in Edinburgh. And as people have pointed out, it's only a short flight from Dublin. If you keep your eye on flights, you can travel over and back from Dublin quite cheaply.

If you live your life subject to your parent's approval you're never going to move further than 100 yards down the road. Reading between the lines, I get the impression you've never lived away from home. At 22 that's a bit stifling, no? By the time I was 22 I'd already moved away from home, done a 3 year degree, a postgrad and was starting to work in my first proper job. At 22 you're more than ready to branch out into the wide world. You'll be fine.

It's hard to gauge what will happen with your parents. The one thing I'll say is don't let them curtail your dreams. You've got your life to live and they've lived a good portion of their live at this stage. It's possible they won't ever get on that plane to come visit you in Edinburgh but would your world end if they don't come? They might be as happy if you come home to visit some weekends. As for learning how to use Skype, I've seen with my own two eyes how handy my 60-70-something year old relatives are with tablets and smartphones. If you keep in touch with them regularly, they'll get used to the idea of being away. You also could be pleasantly surprised at how much of a u-turn they do. A story coming to mind is one a friend told me. She did a year in one college, then realised it wasn't for her and switched to an I.T. at the other end of the country. Her mother was furious and told her she wasn't to go etc. Scroll on a few months and she had a proud mother telling all and sundry that her daughter was now attending this other college. What I'm trying to tell you in a rambling way is that nothing is set in stone.

Clampdown

Go for it, Edinburgh is awesome, better than any city I've been to in Ireland. Streetwise lol it's not exactly Detroit, it's quite safe.

LegacyUser

During the college year I do live away from home during the week. I live in rural countryside but live in the city during the week with other housemates. I live about 45-50 minutes from my actual hometown and come home at weekends. And no, I certainly wouldn't mind if my Mam never came to visit me, I wouldn't take it personally My Dad won't even travel as far as Dublin even (he did it once and said he wouldn't go again) so there's no hope for him It's just annoying when my mam tells me I'm not streetwise enough to move to Edinburgh alone. I do have common sense and surely if anything is going to mature me more and make me more steeetwise, it's a move like this. London has always been a dream of mine to go to but I chose Edinburgh as I figured the transition would be easier and it just seems like such a vibrant and friendly. In regards to my degree I'll be finishing my degree next year

freshpopcorn

Just out of interest OP why do your parents think your not streetwise?

Ursus Horribilis

You're coming home every weekend so they've not really "lost" you yet. My guess is that they're afraid this is finally it. The time when you make a real break from home. They might also be thinking about that poor unfortunate Irish girl (Karen Buckley) who was murdered in Glasgow a couple of years ago. It's ironic they think you're not street wise when they're limiting their own lives and behaving more like their parent's generation. Stick to your guns and go. It'll do you all some good.

Lovely Bloke

It's only six months.

Lyle Lanley

Go and enjoy it.

Your parents need to realise you are a grown up, hopefully this will make them.

Big Bag of Chips

As is often mentioned here, there's a transition that happens around this age, and some people (parents) find it difficult to accept. You see, they are your parents. That will never change! They, as people aren't changing, but you are. You are the one becoming an adult. And even though they will always be your parents, you are no longer their 'child'.

They are not the ones changing, you are. You are the one who has to take control of this. You are the one who has to steer the relationship from adult/child to adult/adult. They are adults. They have been for over 40 years! You were still a child a few years ago, and they haven't quite realised that you are now an adult. It's very natural. And very common!! They still see you as a child. The only way to move on from that is to behave like an adult. So you don't ask permission. Instead you inform them of your decision. Not being streetwise isn't an issue! I'm 40, I wouldn't class myself as streetwise!! Still, I have a house, family, car, young children who I am responsible for and have managed to get them this far in their lives without breaking them!! You don't have to be 'streetwise'. You just need to have a bit of common sense. And even if you don't have common sense, the only way to develop that is to live life and experience things. You might make mistakes, everyone does. But you learn and move on with the experience.

If you continue to live as their child, they will continue to see you as their child. Your parents won't always approve of what you do. But once past a certain age, they don't really have a say! It's your (adult) life. It's up to you to grow and learn and find your own way. Until you do that, you will always be their 'child'.

LynnGrace

Go for it, OP. I just wish I had had opportunities like this when I went to college.

I see my nieces and nephews getting to spend part of their year in much more far flung places than Edinburgh, and at a younger age than your good self. I'm sure that their parents do worry a bit, in the back of their minds, (as parents probably always do), as they see them off. But, not for a minute would they try to stand in their way.

As others have said, Edinburgh is a lovely city. I've only visited there, but I would love to have a chance to live there for six months.
Others have explained far better than I can about why your parents may be having difficulty with this, so I won't go there. They do sound very cautious or anxious. There isn't a lot you can do about that. Definitely don't let them put you off going. Delighted that your sister is on your side. She is probably already looking forward to visiting you there.

Go for it, enjoy it and make the most of it.

listermint

My friend went there for placement work with paediatric nursing.

She liked it so much she stayed met her current partner 2 years later have a beautiful house and a brand new son.

She absolutely loves it there. Her weird pseudo Irish Scottish accent is hilarious however.

ManOfMystery

I've been to Edinburgh numerous times and it's a fantastic city. Two close friends studied there and have very fond memories of it. Perhaps your parents have some preconceived image of it as some dangerous and sprawling metropolis like London or LA or whatever, but nothing could be farther from the truth - the city centre part is comparatively small and the people are friendly.

Grab the bull by the horns. No-one wants to get to old age and sit and tell their grandchildren about all the times they didn't go to x or didn't do y. Live your life for yourself, not how your parents decide you should live it. Many kids go away even farther for 3 or 4 years to study - 6 months away isn't going to do them any harm whatsoever, they're simply projecting their own sheltered opinions onto you.

BnB

I agree with all that's been said above. Just, don't be too hard on your parents. You have to see where they are coming from. They are from a different generation where the idea of you heading off to Edinburgh for 6 months seems like a million miles away. Just do your best to re-assure that that you will be ok and keep in regular contact with them. It's great that you have your sister to support you and get her on board to help re-assure them.

Maybe book a few weekends home in advance to re-assure them that you are not going to disappear completely for 6 months. If you book early with RyanAir, the flights will be for next to nothing.

LegacyUser

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Just out of interest OP why do your parents think your not streetwise?

I think it's probably because I've never lived away from home long term before. Like I said, I live away from home during the weekday but come home every weekend. Initially, they were fine about it when they thought a friend of mine was going with me. As I said, she can't anymore but the college has told me there'll be other students going over to Edinburgh and that I will get to know them

matrim

EdinburghDreaming wrote: »

Maybe their age is an issue? My mam is 62 this year and Dad will turn 70.

Their age has nothing to do with it. My mam is turning 70 this year and asked for a holiday to Lake Garda in Italy as a present. In the last few years my parents have been to more more countries than I have.

This is all about your parents mentality. Their town is good enough for them so should be good enough for you. Go to Edinburgh and enjoy yourself. Maybe you'll love it there, maybe hate it but don't let your parents fear hold you back from trying it.

Ursus Horribilis

EdinburghDreaming wrote: »

I think it's probably because I've never lived away from home long term before. Like I said, I live away from home during the weekday but come home every weekend. Initially, they were fine about it when they thought a friend of mine was going with me. As I said, she can't anymore but the college has told me there'll be other students going over to Edinburgh and that I will get to know them

In hindsight you should've stayed away for a few weeks on the trot and not come home every weekend. What's done is done though.

BBOC made some very valid points about you needing to take the lead here. Your problem is that you gave them too much information. Where's this friend from? If she's not local, they'd never know the difference. You're learning the hard way that telling your parents everything can blow up in your face. You're going to have to learn what to tell them and what to keep quiet about.

Many of us (including myself) still have a part of ourselves that wants our parent's approval. You need to learn how to temper that and weigh it up against what's best for you. Your parents mean well but they are probably very much in a minority with that small minded way of thinking they have. Most people I know of their age have no problems going to Dublin or hopping on a plane.

miezekatze

You should definitely go, and don't let your parents make you feel guilty about it. It will be a great experience for you, and 6 months isn't a long time anyway. This is not up to your parents.

My parents have sometimes made me feel guilty about moving to Ireland (more than 10 years ago), they only visit me here max once a year, sometimes only every 2 years (I visit them maybe 4 times a year). You may need to accept that they won't visit you over there. Edinburgh is only a short flight away though so you can visit them whenever you want. I've never regretted moving anyway.

freshpopcorn

The reason I asked why your mother thought you weren't street wise is because I know some people who return home from college and they tell their parents stories and they make themselves out to be totally careless.
Look, you've being away from home a good bit during the week during the college term and during this you should have experienced the basics of looking after yourself and going out at night time etc. Now if your mammy sent you away with all your dinners and did all your shopping and popped in and cleaned for you and your parents had to constantly bail you out of situations and you never left your house apart for college. You mightn't be street wise but this is unlikely.

Faith

EdinburghDreaming wrote: »

My parents are in their early to late 60's and are both set in their ways. Neither of them have ever left my hometown (apart from my mam when she was a teenager) and said they won't be travelling over to see me for the 6 months. My Dad has a fear of flying and hen I asked my mum she simply said "I'm not a traveller. I haven't got on a plane for years.'

EdinburghDreaming wrote: »

It's not even the fact that they have to fly there that's the issue, they wouldn't go on a ferry! My Dad won't even go anywhere on a bus/train as he HAS to be the one driving. He won't even go into a lift/elevator.

EdinburghDreaming wrote: »

My Dad won't even travel as far as Dublin even (he did it once and said he wouldn't go again) so there's no hope for him

It sounds like your dad could have pretty significant anxiety issues, and I'd guess that he transfers these to people around him in an effort to 'keep them safe', in his mind. I would urge you to make a point of living an independent life. All parents worry about their kids, but going to Scotland for 6 months isn't exactly becoming a missionary in the Congo.

I think you should absolutely go, and have a ball. I also think it's high time that you cut the apron strings, for your own sanity. Before you know it, you'll get stuck in a life you don't want. You're young, you're healthy and you're free. Enjoy this time!

Related: I lived in Edinburgh for 4 years, from 18-22. My parent didn't want me to go (they used to be very overprotective). I went, regardless of their anxieties, and I'm a better, stronger person for it. Edinburgh is a great city, with loads to offer. I highly recommend it.

Chocolate fiend

It is only 6 months, and it is only Edinburgh. Don't worry about your parents not coming over to see you, I am in Australia and mine will never come here either but, I am okay about it because I know they love me and I love them and appreciate that they are not comfortable to travel in the way that I am.

This would be different if you were 18, but, that was 4 years ago. There are people of your age married with children, in fact your own parents were probably married at your age.

Reassure them that you will do all you can to stay safe, work out a few weekends where you will come home and book those flights.

It will be okay, 6 months passes in the blink of an eye really.

eviltwin

I feel very sorry for your parents. It must be awful to have that level of fear but that's not your fault and you absolutely have to go. Imagine how you would feel if you didn't. I'm glad you are not thinking about backing out.

I'm facing this myself with my own child who is moving to Asia for a year this summer. I will worry about her, I'll miss her terribly and its the first indication that she is ready to live a fully independent life but I'd never try and persuade her to stay. Maybe your parents are feeling that way too, scared, worried, now possibly feeling redundant now that their children are starting to leave the nest.

Be kind to them because it is very difficult to watch your child move away and it takes time to get used to this new phase of your lives with its new dynamics. There is really very little you can do about it now apart from reassuring them that you are planning everything properly and doing your research. Remind them that they have done a good job in raising you and that you are sensible and know how to take care of yourself. Perhaps help them set up Skype or something similar so they can keep in touch with you while you are there.

Ultimately it may not be until you are there that they start to come to terms with it which will make the next few months difficult and frustrating but they will be okay.

Walter H Price

EdinburghDreaming wrote: »

Mod Snip - no need to quote full OP, just any specific sections, sentences you wish to focus on, makes life difficult for our mobile users otherwise.

Don't mind your folks OP , moving out and moving away from your parents will be the making of you i did it at 18 moved in with college mates, went to Texas on a J1 the year after and turned 19 in the US moved from Dublin to Cork (my least favorite place I've lived) for 18 Months strait out of college at just gone 21, and Birmingham for 6 months shortly after, have lived with my Oh for 6 years now on and off we distance twice , never looked back or missed living in mam's ... you learn more about yourself and mature much quicker out on your own the freedoms fantastic living abroad is new and exciting , great experience and Edinburgh is a great city , just back from a weekend there (for the rugby) been a good few times its a smashing spot.

Id just ignore your folks tbh , no arguments or discussion if your going your going end of , don't let them undermine your confidence or that with it.Don't count on the homesicknesss either , i never had a jot of it in the US or UK , missed Dublin something fierce when i was stuck down in Cork , but if your in a big city meeting new people doing new things you'll be too busy to be homesick and 6 months is no time at all. I'd be gone again in the morning back to the UK or the US if my Fiancee would come with us.

chuckles30

Like everyone else said - go for it!!

Regarding your parents age - my mother never went on holidays/left the country after her honeymoon until she was in her mid 60's when she retired. She went off to Medjugorje with her friend a few years no bother. My brother now lives in Scotland and heads over there a couple of times a year. So age in itself is not an excuse. Hopefully your mam will have a change of heart and maybe even visit with your sister.

infogiver

Zaph wrote: »

Your parents are concerned that you're not streetwise. Exactly how do they expect you to become streetwise if they insist on restricting your experience to your home town? Go to Edinburgh, it's a really nice city, and going there will definitely be good for you. And you never know, it might be good for them too as they'll get to see that their little girl is actually an adult.

They don't want her to be streetwise at all Zaph. They want her to live in her childhood bedroom and get a job in a local business 9 to 5 Mon to Fri and hopefully a man will fancy her and marry her and take her to live 5 minutes away safely near to them and then they can die having reared their daughter to adulthood having had the minimum amount of stress.
Wether their daughter is happy or not with this outcome is irrelevant really.

infogiver

BnB wrote: »

I agree with all that's been said above. Just, don't be too hard on your parents. You have to see where they are coming from. They are from a different generation where the idea of you heading off to Edinburgh for 6 months seems like a million miles away. Just do your best to re-assure that that you will be ok and keep in regular contact with them. It's great that you have your sister to support you and get her on board to help re-assure them.

Maybe book a few weekends home in advance to re-assure them that you are not going to disappear completely for 6 months. If you book early with RyanAir, the flights will be for next to nothing.

It's not a child's "job" to reassure parents. It's the parents "job" to rear a child who can live safely independently as an adult.
When we decide to have children we must accept that we will feel anxiety, concerns etc and we must deal with that and not put pressure on the child to shield us from these things. The OP needs to be kind and respectful but firm and just go ahead, make her arrangements and get on with the next phase of her life as she is entitled to.

SarahMollie

Seriously OP, go for it - if you've lead a pretty sheltered life up to now, it will probably be the making of you. Like UH pointed out, you probably should have stayed away at the weekends more whilst in college, but thats done now. When I was in college everyone went home in 1st year at the weekends, but after that, less so as they gained their independence and their confidence grew.

You'll only end up resenting them if you let their fears and prejudices hold you back. They may be comfortable living the small town life, but that doesnt mean you have to be.

Edinburgh is a lovely city, really charming and not too big. Its really a great choice for your first time properly living away from home, and shouldnt overwhelm you like perhaps somewhere like London might. One thing I always notice there is that there are people living in Edinburgh from all over the world - you're going to have loads of opportunities to make new friends.

LegacyUser

You'll be ok, and in your heart of hearts, you probably know that. At 22, you are well capable of this trip. Your parents will take time to adjust to it. As a parent myself to two small kids, and also the eldest child of a family of four, I can tell you that it's a huge adjustment for both you and your parents. I was the trailblazer in my family, I was the first to do everything and it was hard for my parents. We had many many conversations about things!! Although to be fair to them, they were not too bad about everything, just found it hard to let go of the apron strings sometimes My youngest sister has just announced she's moving out to rent a place and my parents have accepted it. They're not thrilled about it, but they know now that it's life and it's just how it is. Since I have had my own daughters - I can see why.

Your parents anxieties, worries etc are THEIR worries - they're not yours. I understand you would like them to come over etc, but at the end of the day, these are their fears, their anxieties and you can't take responsibility for them. This is your life and you have to get out there and live it. You can acknowledge that they are worried but just keep gently telling them you're going and that you'll be ok. Show them all the ways to keep in touch, maybe drop a few hints about coming to visit (don't push it too much, let it sink in slowly and you never know what might happen when you are actually gone a while), and enjoy the fear and excitement of it all It will be a great experience.

LegacyUser

My advice is to move away and go to Edinburgh. The reality is that your 22 years old. You have been coming home every weekend from college when you should have stay away an odd weekend.

I would say the following to them I am going to Edinburgh. It is a great chance for me to study/work abroad. It will look good on my cv also.

Tell them your both happy sitting here when you should be enjoying your life. Say to them may not always have good health or be able to travel. It sad that you told me you will be worried when I am there but you still refuse to come over and see me. I would expect this if you where both in your 80's but you both young and well able to travel. In fact tell them your sister is already looking forward to going over to see you.

I would say to your mother I am going to have a chat with the bossy aunt/friend and tell them you don't want me to go and that if I go your refusing to come over to see me. Let someone around your mother age tell her in a nice way to grow up. Some times people like your parents need a wake up call.

I have seen people of your parents age refuse to go anywhere or to do anything because they are stuck in a rut. I know of one couple who were like this. One of her daughters started to make her and her husband go on days out and take holidays. A few years later they are glad they did this. This lady now has a long term illness that means she can't travel. She has some great memories and photos of holidays and days out to look back on.

A few years ago one of my relatives got a chance to study abroad. Her parents would be the same ages as yours. They would not have traveled much but they went out to see her when she was in college. They flew over when it was her graduation. She now has a job abroad. I know her mother would like her back in Ireland but she said she has a job, is getting great experience and has done some traveling.

amtc

In the words of St Francis of Assisi 'regret what you did do not what you didn't do'.

You'll be fine.

mahamageehad

Echoing what everyone here says about Skype. My parents were also a little upset when I moved to Germany for Erasmus (1 year not 6 months). Now, they never told me not to go or anything but my mum was in bits on the day I left which was upsetting. I was 20, almost 21. I had an amazing time, met loads of people (including the OH) and ended up moving back here after finishing college and getting a few years work experience. I've lived in Germany for almost 3 years one (one for Erasmus and almost 2 since I moved back) and my parents have visited once in that time. They're just not travelers. That's fine too. My sisters have each visited once and a friend also came. I Skype my parents most Sundays- before I left they couldn't use a computer, now they're calling me with their smartphones via Facebook Messenger. :P I get home every 4-6 months for a visit, honestly I barely even feel that time passing! Go for it, you'll have a blast!!

languagenerd

Hi OP. I moved to Edinburgh for a year when I was 22 & it was the best thing I've ever done. It's a great city for students, there's always something going on (festivals, events etc) and it's also a very safe city to be wandering about in. It's not a huge leap from Ireland culture-wise and there are tons of Irish people over there if you feel homesick (I mostly hung out with Scots & French people though).

If you're worried about seeing your family & they won't come to you, it's only a 50min flight from Dublin or slightly longer from Cork and, except for August, you can usually fly home for weekend for €30 return. I could get home to Dublin quicker than people in Galway could. Reassure your parents that you'll be careful and that you'll keep in touch, but, honestly, six months will fly past (for all involved!).

IrishTerrier42

I'm from the states, and here it's quite common for college students to live far away their parents/study abroad so perhaps I have a somewhat different perspective than a lot of you but for **** sake. You're an adult, Edinburgh is a short distance away and it's only for six months. Your parents need to get over it.

When I was nineteen, I spent a year and a half living in Ireland with my boyfriend (now husband) and my parents weren't reluctant about the idea at all. In fact, they encouraged (and paid for) me to go. That sort of thing is EXACTLY what you're supposed to be doing in your late teens/early twenties. I'd definitely go if I were you!!