Is anyone else here socially inept?

Oink

I have put my foot in my mouth so often I'm starting to like the taste of it.

Feel free to share your best work. Here's mine.

1. Really cute girl starts talking to me after Mass (back in the day).
HER: Hey how are you doing... Cold enough isn't it?
ME: Yeah it is. Hey you have an accent... Are you from Suchplace?
HER: Yeah, I am...
ME: *completely distracted, gets up and walks away*
HER: ...

Half a mile down the road...
ME: 'Did I... Did I just... Sweet faaakking Jesus...'



2. Last week, talking to a pregnant woman who just gave birth, she was 2 weeks late or something:

MY BRAIN: 'Oh you finally had your baby! He's so cute! I thought you were going to keep him warm in there for another week'

MY MOUTH: 'Oh you decided to have the baby in the end'
*walks away real fast, sweating bullets*


3. First general meeting with the new boss, I'm trying to show interest.

ME: So, where did you work before joining us?
BOSS: .... ? Didn't I just say that, like 5 seconds ago?
ME: ....

And it goes on. And on. Anyone else?

The Backwards Man

That's the main thing

Widdershins

Everyone, at some point.

'Oh you decided to have the baby in the end'

My name is URL

You're not socially inept just because you sometimes make a tit of yourself

wakka12

Hmm Im awkward with so many people so many times per day that its just part of normal life now. I don't really care if people think I'm awkward or not. I don't mind other awkward people personally. I just hope I'm one of the funny amusing kind of awkward people rather than the uncomfortable kind :pac:

Arghus

I'm smooth like gravel.

Senna

I make Mr Bean looks like Hugh Hefner

The_Valeyard

Oink wrote: »

I have put my foot in my mouth so often I'm starting to like the taste of it.

Feel free to share your best work. Here's mine.

1. Really cute girl starts talking to me after Mass (back in the day).
HER: Hey how are you doing... Cold enough isn't it?
ME: Yeah it is. Hey you have an accent... Are you from Suchplace?
HER: Yeah, I am...
ME: *completely distracted, gets up and walks away*
HER: ...

Half a mile down the road...
ME: 'Did I... Did I just... Sweet faaakking Jesus...'



2. Last week, talking to a pregnant woman who just gave birth, she was 2 weeks late or something:

MY BRAIN: 'Oh you finally had your baby! He's so cute! I thought you were going to keep him warm in there for another week'

MY MOUTH: 'Oh you decided to have the baby in the end'
*walks away real fast, sweating bullets*


3. First general meeting with the new boss, I'm trying to show interest.

ME: So, where did you work before joining us?
BOSS: .... ? Didn't I just say that, like 5 seconds ago?
ME: ....

And it goes on. And on. Anyone else?

Ahhh have a thanks. You made me laugh

Wibbs

Not really. I pretty much gave up caring what non friends thought of me in my teens which is IMH a huge part of it. And so what if I make a fool of myself? Such things rarely last long in the mind of others. Though I do endeavour to avoid being a prick about things.

The_Valeyard

Widdershins wrote: »

Everyone, at some point.

'Oh you decided to have the baby in the end'

Its the kinda thing how accidental rumours start lol

Oink

Wibbs wrote: »

Not really. I pretty much gave up caring what non friends thought of me in my teens which is IMH a huge part of it. And so what if I make a fool of myself? Such things rarely last long in the mind of others. Though I do endeavour to avoid being a prick about things.

I agree with you, but looking like an idiot is one thing. Hurting people is another. I've had to come up with a standard apology:
'If I ever sound uncaring or insensitive, please assume that I am just being momentarily stupid, rather than simply mean. Normal service will resume shortly.'

DanielODonnell

There is no normal way to act, not everyone can be social butterflies, I would say all those monks you see painted on stained glass windows were awkward type of men.

strawdog

Well with people I know and/or feel at ease with (tho never quite sure why I do or don't) - I'm laid back, jokey in a nice way, and warm. But with people of a certain personality, and especially those who are in some sort of authority or I mistrust, my brain chemistry seems to change - I'm nervous, awkward, cold and have a habit of making bad jokes as a nervous tic. Its just the way I am and I've got used to the embarassment that goes with the latter cohort, but I do think it must confuse the fook out of people from one group when they see me interact with someone from the other group

MadamRazz

A lot of the time things sound funny in my head and then just cringe worthy when said out loud. Its almost impossible to offend me so I often assume the same of others....BIG MISTAKE

DoozerT6

I had to bring my laptop for repair recently. I totally blanked at the counter as to how to explain the problem. Cue lots of arm flapping, ummmmm-ing, and "whatchacallit" before i managed to get the words out. The assistant stood patiently, smiling benignly over the counter at me during this fiasco of communication. Sigh.

Adulting is harrrrrrrrd, yu gaiz.

Lorelli!

Sometimes I fcuk up and say something stupid but most of the time, I'm grand. I dislike an awkward silence with people I'm not familiar with so sometimes I'll just come out with random questions.

If someone reacts socially awkward towards me, I don't pay any attention because usually you know they don't mean anything by it and you've been there yourself at least once.

I wouldn't say that I'm a social chameleon but I am genuinely interested in talking to other people. I think a lot of people underestimate the benefit of small talk and how good it is for you.

Winterlong

I get mad aware of what I perceive to be awkward silences in a conversation and feel the need to fill that gap with some inane drivel. I really need to get comfortable with the silence.

wakka12

Winterlong wrote: »

I get mad aware of what I perceive to be awkward silences in a conversation and feel the need to fill that gap with some inane drivel. I really need to get comfortable with the silence.

Hmm i hate this because its such a vicious circle. Most people are okay with some awkward silence, yet when we are with somebody we usually assume that the other person is feeling awkward in the silence..more than likely just feel the same as you

ScumLord

I can only really remember these kind of things as I'm about to fall asleep at night.

Mister Vain

I find if I take my time when speaking to someone I'm grand. I have a tendency to rush things which is when I make a tit of myself.

Agricola

My social ineptitude comes from small talk. Can't do it. I'm so used to that expression on someone's face which goes from "oh grand, a bit of small talk it is then" to "holy jaysus, this lad is a bit odd!"

I marvel at people who can bat the old small talk tennis ball ball back n forth. I can manage a short rally if Im really on form, but soon I just dry up and other person can't be bothered to do the heavy lifting so an awkward getaway is in order.

ToddyDoody

Wibsters defined Ineptitude as a lack of skill, ability, or competence. A doctor would prove his ineptitude at practicing medicine if he mistakenly removed a patient's spleen instead of his kidney.

Re: social ineptitude- one's own company is often best.

Oink

Oh I remembered another one:

In the lift in work, man doesn't want his apple and offers it to me. I'm completely surprised, I make some joke like he's propositioning me, you know like Adam and Eve. Awkward silence.
I wish it had been someone else rather than the CEO. The whole thing was witnessed by a couple of Directors of course.

I wished that lift went all the way down to hell or something, and I would have stayed on.

Lorelli!

Oink wrote: »

Oh I remembered another one:

In the lift in work, man doesn't want his apple and offers it to me. I'm completely surprised, I make some joke like he's propositioning me, you know like Adam and Eve. Awkward silence..

:pac:

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Wanderer2010

I'm more awkward with people who don't expect absolutely any awkwardness from others, I can usually sense when people are laid back and can take people as they find them but every now and then you get a d!ckhead who is a perfect human being and has never ever made any mistake in their life and expect the exact same back from others, You know the type- they sneer at anyone who is even slightly different, and roll their eyes at people who may have some social flaw.

Its THOSE people I feel awkward around.

YourSuperior

Agricola wrote: »

My social ineptitude comes from small talk. Can't do it. I'm so used to that expression on someone's face which goes from "oh grand, a bit of small talk it is then" to "holy jaysus, this lad is a bit odd!"

I marvel at people who can bat the old small talk tennis ball ball back n forth. I can manage a short rally if Im really on form, but soon I just dry up and other person can't be bothered to do the heavy lifting so an awkward getaway is in order.

When someone looks at reality as it really is with cold detachment - most people and society seem quite odd. That's real authenticity right there. Not being too concerned with going through the motions playing silly social games and blindly following conventional wisdom like the mechanical beings who often claim authorship of the ideals that were imprinted on them as if they were their own.

somefeen

I learned one phrase as a young man that has helped me immeasurably. Whenever I feel at a loss for words, or I'm not sure how to exit a conversation. When I need to change the subject, when I need to to be left in peace and not asked questions, when I don't want to agree with someones opinion but dont want to disagree and start and argument either.

"Erra, sure....you know yourself"

Works everytime.

tinpib

Some zingers in this thread, seems that people who think they are socially inept appear to be hilarious writers. I've sniggered/Lol'ed a few times.

Donald Trump

No of course not.  I'm just a normal, average, sociable President. I have a relaxing personality and demeanour and I get on with everyone. So take that ye shower of stupid hoorbag pseudo-Mexican cunts

drdeadlift

Oink wrote: »

Oh I remembered another one:

In the lift in work, man doesn't want his apple and offers it to me. I'm completely surprised, I make some joke like he's propositioning me, you know like Adam and Eve. Awkward silence.
I wish it had been someone else rather than the CEO. The whole thing was witnessed by a couple of Directors of course.

I wished that lift went all the way down to hell or something, and I would have stayed on.

Im sure some of the higher ups enjoy your alternative behavior

MadamRazz

I have a Tribble on my desk at work that I love and have no trouble explaining what it is to people. I thought this would be pretty ok but from the reactions I'm getting I think I might be wrong.

Your Face

Big boobies!

I'm very debonair.

Hector Bellend

I prefer physical violence myself.

Hector Bellend

Your Face wrote: »

Big boobies!

I'm very debonair.

I prefer a nice bit of an aul arse myself