Cat missing her pal desperately- put down?

zipee

I had another thread... but here is new scenario...

So my beautiful lady of 19 yrs was put to sleep few days before Christmas..... awful but kind!

So my problem is her buddy...13yrs old and was washed head to toe daily by her sister. Curled up & snuggled with her every night on my bed.

So since she's gone my little one isn't eating hardly at all, glued to me except at night and wont sleep on bed. Now constipated cos not eating and i' m giving her liquid paraffin.

She's fading to bone! Tuna, chicken, mince nothing enticing her. Tried loads of cat foods ... her fav whiskas, MAC food, loads of high meat ones but now I pet her and feel every single bone in her!

She licked bald patches in her coat...2 of them but I've nursed sores back to ok.

Crying here, But think I should let her go with her sister! Feel I'm being cruel keeping her here to make me feel better. She's utterly miserable. She used to go out for hours each day... she hasn't gone out for any length since sis died.

We can't get another cat & I really don't think she would want it!

Any ideas? I'm fussing over her like I can....

sillysmiles

I've no idea. But is there some kind of anti anxiety meds you could try for a little while before making the final decision?

Statesbound

You could try a pheromone diffuser or collar/spray also. They aren't that expensive. The one I am familiar with is feliway. You could also try a thunder coat for anxious pets. Alternatively, a vet will be able to prescribe something a bit heavier. Nutritionally, hills a/d tinned food is high calorie and appetising to animals which they use in clinics to entice pets and add weight.

Rancid

Or try Zylkene.

"Zylkène is a product that can help support dogs and cats in situations where they find they need to adapt their behaviour to cope."

http://www.zylkenepet.co.uk/

I've never needed to use it on our cats but it's been mentioned in other threads here and seems to have helped in behavioural issues by having a calming effect.

Worth trying, or asking your vet about similar products.
Also worth tempting her with treats like Dreamies or the like, anything at all just to get some food into her and maybe it might stimulate her appetite.

Ms Doubtfire1

get a kitten!! something SHE can mother over.

jenn1984

I would go with the suggestions of previous posters - there has to be an alternative to putting down a cat due to depression.

davo2001

Would you put a human down if they were depressed?

No? So why would you put your cat down?

biko

Get a kitten from a shelter and see if they get along.

Chuchote

Poor little love is grieving. She's lost her dearest friend and can't understand it. Grief is unutterably awful, but it does gradually lessen.

I've had cats come to me so scared and horrified I had to take up a board to let them live under the floor for weeks, cats that would rush up to me looking frantically for petting, then savagely bite and scratch the petting hand. Time healed it, time and calm.

Try to spend time with her alone, not paying that much attention to her - reading or watching TV, but sitting where she can come to you.

I found the Feliway diffusers very helpful any time I had an anxious cat (and in fact the cat ones worked for dogs too). They give off the scent of a nursing mother, and make the cat feel much more secure.

I won't be watching this thread - bad experiences with this section of the forum - but the very best of luck with seeing your puss through her grief.

Bunnyslippers

I had a cat have the same problem when his brother was stolen, he went totally to pieces and stopped eating, he stared at the cat flap for 3 weeks. We went camping and left my grandfather watching him, and typically for us we ended up bringing back 3 unwanted kittens! He hissed and spat for all of an hour then was totally besotted with them and mothered them for years after, he too was an older cat, and ended up living till nearly twenty and eventually succumbing to his diabetes! So I'd agree with others - a kitten - preferably two (so when your girl does go then they still have company) could work wonders in snapping her out of her depression!:) - good excuse to get kittens if ever there was one!;)

aonb

How very sad, and very worrying for you to have to look at your lovely cat pining. I hope time will help her recover. Would it be worth fostering with a view to adopt a kitten from a local rescue, to see if this would work???

Let us know how you get both get on

zipee

Thank you for all replies. All read and taken on board...went back to vet today & she gave injection & tablets to stimulate appetite. She said they have mild sedative effect! They've knocked her out! Back to sleeping under bed.

She's down to 2.9 kgs! If I pet her I feel every bone. Her quality of life is just gone. I won't get another cat for 2 reasons 1) I know she'd hate it 2) I am allergic to cats and so is my daughter- I became allergic about 10 yrs ago and my daughter with asthma too but not severely. I manage mine with daily antihistamines and mostly they work, my daughter with inhalers but we've never gotten rid of cats due to it. It I won't be getting more. So another cat is not an option.

She was always a nervous puking cat.... since kitten ( actually think she may have been ferrile). My other cat was 5 when she came. She took her as her kitten and she was about 7 weeks. She washed her head to toe several times a day for 13yrs. They curled up together and snuggled anytime they slept.

She now won't look at anywhere they snuggled, won't eat, won't go out, won't sun herself, she follows me from room to room,

I took carry cage out and she normally hates it & she flew to it to smell her! It's utterly pathetic! And if I'm honest and my soulmate was gone and I was like this with no kids I'd want to opt out! I feel it's cruel to keep her alive to keep me happy to have her.

So I'm trying meds for a week which seem to be sedating her entirely...., but if she doesn't pick up....

I got diffuser last Wednesday so trying that too and special calming food .....so I'm not just saying - oh she's depressed ... kill her!!!!

aonb

OP, all sounds so very sad and depressing.
Your poor little cat.
Only you can know what is best for your cat, and for yourself, and your situation. At the end of the day you are the only one who can see how your
cat is doing, and whether her quality of life is such that you have to consider
having her put to sleep.
Fingers crossed that the diffuser, and the meds will help her start to recover, but its already a month now? I hope you get some sort of improvement soon, but ultimately its your decision, for your cats well-being and quality of life. Very best wishes to you...

DBB

Have you any idea of the names of the meds the vet put her on op? There's often a transitory sedative effect that wears off after a few days.

zipee

Good lord! I hadn't looked before now! Valium 2 mg! So half tablet 1 mg twice a day. I weigh 80kgs and was given 2ng 3 times a day for my back.... she's 2.9kgs.... no wonder she's sedated!!!!

DBB

Ah... Ok... Valium is a sedative alright!
I wonder if you might talk to your vet about trying a licensed animal anti-depressant... Clomicalm is the brand name.
It can have a sedatory effect for a while (which in this case is perhaps no harm), but it should help her in the medium- to longer-term too in a way that Valium probably won't.
Also, it has already been suggested here, but Zylkène really should be tried (it's non-prescription, available online), and Feliway is pretty much a must-try for anxious cats.

zipee

Have feliway will look at other. If she very sedated tomorrow I might try quartering the tablet..... think dose very high for wafer thin cat that could practically blow away in a light breeze!

tiredblondie

i once took 1 2mg valium tablet as i wasn't sleeping and that knocked me out - i was so out of it for about an hour before falling asleep so can't imagine what that would do to a poor little cat!!

zipee

Great news! One stoned cat but she ate good bit more than she has been!

Fingers & toes crossed it keeps working! Think I will quarter tablet tomorrow though.

Thanks for all support. Xx

SillyMangoX

Valium is an excellent appitite stimulant in cats. I had to give it to Dude when his bladder was locked up, both times he would nearly eat me if I didn't put down the food quick enough! But they do get very zoned out on it. I used to have great fun watching him try to lick himself and would end up attacking his own leg forgetting it was attached to him!
I hope it all goes well and she gets her spark back, even the few days of having the Valium and a good feed with it might make a big difference in buffing her up again

Irish Stones

Hi OP; have you considered the chance that your cat might have a medical condition that has occured coincidentally with the loss of the elder cat?
It could be something that was lying there and that the loss of her friend has enhanced.
A blood panel could reveal something that you don't know.
One of my two cats started showing less and less appetite some months ago, and acted more and more quietly. A test proved she's suffering from hyperthyroidism.

pilly

I used to have a mother and daughter and the daughter went missing at some stage, presumed knocked down or stolen. Mother was miserable and not eating for a couple of months afterwards but it passed and she went back to herself, still going around 10 years later. Cats are very resilient. They can live for a good while without eating or drinking too so try not to worry too much.

D0NNELLY

as others have said, would you think about a kitten?

pilly

D0NNELLY wrote: »

as others have said, would you think about a kitten?

As OP has said twice, another cat is not an option. Bugs me when people don't bother reading replies. :mad:

D0NNELLY

pilly wrote: »

As OP has said twice, another cat is not an option. Bugs me when people don't bother reading replies. :mad:

missed that, cheers. try not to let meaningless things like that bother you.

zipee

gave her quarter tablet twice today so .5mg twice and she still stoned but also still eating! Not stuffing herself but eating! Also slept under the duvet with me last 2 nights!! not on it! Under it! That's new! but she snuggled with someone! Hopeful now! Just hoping she starts to put weight back on. My 8 yr old daughter doing her first school project on Cats! Wants to do a chapter on when they are sad!!!

Thanks again guys xx

Statesbound

Great news Zipee. Hope she makes a full recovery!

zipee

Just update..... only giving her quarter tablet in mornings so .5mg Valium. She eats breakfast and then sleeps for 5/6 hours due to Valium..... but quite mellow rest of day.... eats a dinner too most evenings..... still skin & mostly bone! But sits on my lap most evenings .... more tolerant of people..... still won't sleep anywhere she used to snuggle with her pal. She used to go out most of the day & wont go out most days & if she does it's 5 mins & back in. But not under bed as much thank god! Will keep her on Valium for another while.

I lit fire today and she sat on footstool toasting herself.... first time in months...

Feeling hopeful and thank you all for support xx

zipee

Picture of her if it works 😊

donkeykong5

zipee wrote: »

Picture of her if it works 😊

Lovely cat. Love black cats with a bit of white. Bring good luck as well to owners.

zipee

Bad photo then 😂😂 she's mink grey with white & her pal was black and white attached now if it works ..... sigh ... still miss her!

zipee

So last question. Do I keep going with her or not? She is skin and bone..., less than 3 kgs. If I use Valium she's utterly stoned... stumbling... can't lift head & sleeps all day.... even on half dose vet said and I can't cut tablet any smaller than quarter....

She's not fattening up, she doesn't go out anymore and shd was such an outdoor girl.....

She's barely ticking by..... she at least wants to be petted for short spells but just not my funny happy cat anymore... tree climbing now distant memory....

It's just not come back way she should.... I know everyone must think mr nuts but she still misses her buddy. When you pet her it's all bone!

If she put up weight I'd think differently.....it's nearly 8 weeks since her buddy passed.

Her quality of life seems gone... utterly chAnged.... very sad...

Nody

It can take up to six months according to this; I'd still consider company as a foster to try if that would help.

zipee

Thanks nody! A very interesting read. My vet very dismissive of a cat feeling such grief... keeps saying most unusuAl and doesn't really happen to cats!

kathleen37

It is hard. I must admit, when one of ours goes, I always bring them in one by one so they see the one that's gone. I was very concerned when we lost one cat, how her son would react, as he just loved her so much; was always with her, always cuddling her. He gave her a sniff and a prod after she was gone, and then seemed fine. I obviously don't know if it makes a difference, but it's something we've always done...

I know you don't want another cat, but I wonder if the distraction would help? It must be hard for her if there were only the two and they had their routines.

Like Nody said, fosting one short term may help, as then you wouldn't have the commitment of a new cat, would be able to see if it does help - if it doesn't you've done the good thing by fostering, and if it does, then you can think again about having another kitty.

I do hope she improves.

aonb

I feel so sorry for you - its torture having a loved pet suffering - whether from grief or illness or whatever.
Only you can decide whether you can continue to watch your pet grieve. Only you can decide whether its quality of life is such that its time to consider having her put to sleep.
You will decide what is best for you and your pet, and I wish you only good thoughts until you come through the other side of this ordeal

taytobreath

zipee wrote: »

Picture of her if it works 😊

I sometimes look at my cats when they are sleeping or just sitting there, wondering what they are dreaming of or what they are thinking of. if only we knew.

sry thats a bit of a weird message

good luck op.

Ms Doubtfire1

zipee wrote: »

So last question. Do I keep going with her or not? She is skin and bone..., less than 3 kgs. If I use Valium she's utterly stoned... stumbling... can't lift head & sleeps all day.... even on half dose vet said and I can't cut tablet any smaller than quarter....

She's not fattening up, she doesn't go out anymore and shd was such an outdoor girl.....

She's barely ticking by..... she at least wants to be petted for short spells but just not my funny happy cat anymore... tree climbing now distant memory....

It's just not come back way she should.... I know everyone must think mr nuts but she still misses her buddy. When you pet her it's all bone!

If she put up weight I'd think differently.....it's nearly 8 weeks since her buddy passed.

Her quality of life seems gone... utterly chAnged.... very sad...

i can't remember if you said her blood was tested? would be very interested to see what her liver/kidney functions are like cause what you are describing to this degree isn't normal...

Irish Stones

zipee wrote: »

So last question. Do I keep going with her or not? She is skin and bone..., less than 3 kgs. If I use Valium she's utterly stoned... stumbling... can't lift head & sleeps all day.... even on half dose vet said and I can't cut tablet any smaller than quarter....

She's not fattening up, she doesn't go out anymore and shd was such an outdoor girl.....

She's barely ticking by..... she at least wants to be petted for short spells but just not my funny happy cat anymore... tree climbing now distant memory....

It's just not come back way she should.... I know everyone must think mr nuts but she still misses her buddy. When you pet her it's all bone!

If she put up weight I'd think differently.....it's nearly 8 weeks since her buddy passed.

Her quality of life seems gone... utterly chAnged.... very sad...

Have you tried with Nutribound?
It's a liquid complementary nourishing product by Virbac.
It says that if you feed your cat on it for a couple of days, this should awake their sense of thirst and hunger and should be pushed to eat on their own.
From the third day you can mix this product with their usual wet food. It promises to restore their feeding habits in about a week time.
It comes in 150 ml bottles, the recommended administration is 6 ml per kg of cat weight a day, a bottle would last a week for a 3 kg cat.

Graces7

OP I have been following this thread as it caught on my own experience and I so hoped yours would recover.

When I came to Ireland, many years ago now I brought with me the last three from my Siamese breeding time. They were all sib ie the same father although different litters and had been together all their lives. Totally devoted to each other and I became aware that when one died, they would follow each other like ninepins... They were around 12-14.

Sure enough when one died, the second followed from a different cause. The third simply pined to death. He decided to die and nothing was going to stop him.

He would leave his chair, the one he shared with the others, go and drink water, use the tray, go back to the chair.. . Nothing more. His coat got hard and lifeless. Used to wash him gently.

I had another younger cat; not interested. And realising the likely outcome, I took in a family of three kittens in great need. Not interested .

When he finally went he had a smile on his face.

I know now that this happens more than many realise; vets seem to be unaware of the grief cats can and do feel. My lad certainly grieved to death.

I have no advice for you, sadly, only a sharing and my prayers. It is heartbreaking to see, I used to take him into bed with me which he always loved, but he would just go back to his chair.

He had made his decision. At one stage I felt so .... rejected.

NB powder the valium to less than a quarter? Can be done. Just a grain or two.

And if she has decided to die she will; seems she has not done that. My boy had. I had had him since birth.

zipee

Graces7 I only saw your post now. Never got notification of it for some reason.... but that was it 100% she chose not to be here anymore. Nothing I did helped.

Anyway got her put down this morning weighing 2.5kgs. She was jaundiced ... her liver packing in due to anoerexia (spelt wrong). I am very cross with vets... and myself....

Why didn't vet listen to me? 4 weeks ago I wanted her suffering stopped I knew she didn't want to live? She's been my baby for 14 yrs... do people think I had just tired of her after this length of devotion and wanted her gone for convenience?? It seems nuts??

I think we have gone sooooo.... oh save the animal that we are losing sight of don't let an animal suffer!! I think vet was very wrong. My sister thinks it's a money making thing for vets to string families along when so emotionally distraught.... guilt them into another few visits & bloods....

Anyway I'm cross with me for not being stronger with vet 4 weeks ago & insisting she put her down. She suffered on & she did suffer... I think she was in pain yesterday and I never wanted that.

Graces7 you are so right... two vets so dismissive a cat could pine like that! It was utter devotion and she just didn't want to be here without soulmate....

Anyway suffering ended now thank god! She snuggled with me last night for a bit & this morning.... she was saying goodbye. Finally at peace....

Thanks for all support! Xxxxx

LirW

I'm sorry for all of that, OP.

I had a cat where I'm quite convinced about that she put her own life to an end.

She was a shelter cat and after a few months of having her alone, I knew she missed something and I got a kitten that she guarded and mothered like she never did anything else. After a year the kitten, an absolutely lovable boy got hit by a car and died.
My cat was griefing, she refused to come into the house, she didn't eat, she lost hair and she suddenly had a very strange body odor.
My first reaction: calling all the shelters in the area that I desperately need a kitten, my cat just lost her beloved baby. Eventually I managed to get one that was abandoned and brought it home.
My cat couldn't do anything with it, still wailing outside and looking for her baby.
She didn't come home but I've seen her in the garden.
A few days later the neighbor told me, she's sitting a huge chunk of the day close to the street where her baby got hit. I couldn't manage to catch her.
Two days later, she as well got hit by a car and I sh*t you not, it was in the same spot where he got hit.

Best of luck to get over it!

Graces7

OP.. HUGS.... I had wondered.

There was with my last boy, no organ failure, no pain, Just a determination. I did not take him to a vet; was as I am now far far from any and knew what was happening. 14 years of being together and they think cats do not know? Of course they care and of course they love.

The first of my three died of a heart condition, the second cancer . WIth this one , it was simply grief.

When I came to Ireland, the three of them would follow me up the lanes, one after the other.. later followed by twin pet lambs, then a hen with no toes. They were inseparable.

You did what was right for you and the cat; am so very very sorry.

Please do not waste precious energy on anger. Just let time and love heal you and then maybe ..I was very glad I had the new ones then

Blessings and peace.

zipee

Graces7 wrote: »

OP.. HUGS.... I had wondered.

There was with my last boy, no organ failure, no pain, Just a determination. I did not take him to a vet; was as I am now far far from any and knew what was happening. 14 years of being together and they think cats do not know? Of course they care and of course they love.

The first of my three died of a heart condition, the second cancer . WIth this one , it was simply grief.

When I came to Ireland, the three of them would follow me up the lanes, one after the other.. later followed by twin pet lambs, then a hen with no toes. They were inseparable.

You did what was right for you and the cat; am so very very sorry.

Please do not waste precious energy on anger. Just let time and love heal you and then maybe ..I was very glad I had the new ones then

Blessings and peace.

Lovely post!

Thanks