Wedding/pregnancy dilemma

Sukine1

Hi all,
Myself and my Fiance have just booked everything for our wedding. This will be our second attempt at it as our last had to be put on hold due to illness.
However after a few years of trying for a baby, we have only discovered we are Pregnant. The baby will be due 2 weeks before the Wedding.
We dont know what to do know, should we cancel the Wedding or take the chance the possibility of the baby being late etc
Anyone been in similar situation with Pregnancy and planning a Wedding?

Day Lewin

I've seen a photo of a beautiful bride breastfeeding a newborn. She had to get special discreet folds-slots hidden in the bodice of the wedding dress - (which was gorgeous) - but such a precious photo to have - all the beginnings!
I'd say, push on bravely - fingers crossed!

Lucena

I'd cancel the wedding, OP, there's always a chance the baby could come two weeks early. No point taking on extra stress worrying about the baby and a wedding.

Bacchus

Personally, I'd cancel. Having recently had a baby who went 10 days over (well my wife had the baby)... and another friend who was due around the same time go 3 weeks early... it's just too unpredictable. There's so many variables to consider beyond even just the 2 basic scenarios...
1. Baby is on time or early... you'll be trying to deal with wedding planning and a newborn. You will be exhausted and the first 2 months are just a blur of ups and downs. Not to mention if it's quite close to the day, you might be quite uncomfortable.
2. Baby is late and arrives within 1-3 days of the day. You'll be in hospital. They won't discharge you early. You will miss your wedding. I'll add also, that stress will potentially affect when your baby arrives as stress blocks all those happy hormones that promote labour. Weddings and stress go hand in hand.

If you were due a month before, then maybe you could give it a go... baby will be at least 2 weeks old (which is still tough going) with the chance that he/she will be 4-6 weeks old.

Congrats btw

jlm29

Could you move the wedding by a few weeks either way? I wouldn't cancel it outright, without a plan- I say this as someone who is engaged 4 years, and never intended it to go on that long! I wouldn't chance it being so close you your baby's duedate, but I would do it whenever possible in the months before or after you have the baby!!!

Big Bag of Chips

The baby is due two weeks before the wedding? Most babies don't come on time! And hospitals tend to let you go 10-14 days over before inducing you. So there's a chance the baby could be arriving a day or two before you're due to get married?

Labour is tough! A section is tougher. I know on my wedding day I'd love to be as beautiful and as comfortable as possible and able to enjoy the day to it's fullest. That wouldn't be possible if she's sore from stitches. Even if she has the baby a few weeks early by section for whatever reason, the recovery after a section is tough.

Also, there's dress fittings to be considered. Depending on the style of dress it is hard to fit anything properly and factor in for body shape changes with an ever expanding pregnancy belly! My sister was 6 months pregnant at my wedding. Her bridesmaid dress was left to the last minute to make, and between fittings (2 days apart) the baby had moved and the shape the dressmaker had adjusted to was all wrong, with it being tight on one side with a flappy bit of material on the side the baby had moved from!!

I'd either have the wedding a couple of months earlier, or later. 2 weeks after the due date is just too close for comfort.

Mrs OBumble

Cancel. Giving birth in the middle of a wedding ceremony ain't cool

BetsyEllen

I think you're crazy to even consider not cancelling, it's such a huge risk to take!

Can you not just ask the venue if you could bring the date forward by a couple of months or push back until after the baby is born?
If they have the availability there is no reason for them to say no.

PS. Congratulations, you have such an exciting time ahead!

MarkR

Congratulations! Weddings only a piece of paper, concentrate on yourself and the baby. You'll have plenty of stress and sleepless nights from a baby, you won't need a wedding thrown into the mix.

Digs

I'd definitely move the date if you could, don't cancel completely, I'd imagine vendors should be understanding, even moving it to four weeks later? Both my girls came a full two weeks late. On my second My cousin was due four weeks after me and had her boy the same day as I gave birth! So unpredictable. Even if baby does arrive in the weeks leading up, personally i felt pretty weak and vulnerable in the week or two after giving birth, especially on my second. Everyone is different of course but in my opinion those first few weeks after giving birth are for staying in your pyjamas and cuddling that baby on the couch!

hotmatottie10

Firstly congrats on your pregnancy and wedding. I would consider moving it forward to save stress especially as the last trimester is exhausting. I think you would like to enjoy your day without being too uncomfortable. Move it forward or postpone if you can until baby is 6months old usually things settle down then with sleep patterns by then.

LirW

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Had the same dilemma, I'm due in March and we wanted to get married in May this year. We were just days away from putting our deposit down when we both had a talk and realised we both prioritize the baby over getting married. Bear in mind that having a first arrival is having a huge impact on your life.... and that also means your wallet. We both couldn't justify spending so much money on a wedding when we could put it towards everything the baby needs.
Now just a few weeks away I think it was the best decision we've made. We can get married another time, we have so much else going on. The stress of planning a wedding especially in your last trimester is not to underestimate. Our plans changed a lot in these few months and tying the knot suddenly is not top priority anymore.

Good luck!

clint_silver

If this is first child then opinion would be to cancel, good chance you wont enjoy the wedding planning, or the pregnancy or the wedding. And thats even if everything goes to plan

Stress is massive for both and not to be underestimated.

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lazygal

I'm coming at this from a different angle. Get married before the baby comes, well before. There can be myriad issues for couples who aren't married, most important are next of kin rights IMO. If you're not married your parents are your next of kin if anything happens. I'd get to the registry office and get the legal marriage done. Have a wedding after the baby arrives. Marriage isn't just a piece of paper, it creates a lot of legal certainty for couples and their children.

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Toots

lazygal wrote: »

I'm coming at this from a different angle. Get married before the baby comes, well before. There can be myriad issues for couples who aren't married, most important are next of kin rights IMO. If you're not married your parents are your next of kin if anything happens. I'd get to the registry office and get the legal marriage done. Have a wedding after the baby arrives. Marriage isn't just a piece of paper, it creates a lot of legal certainty for couples and their children.

I'd go with this one.

A nice idea would be to get the legal side done when you're maybe 6/7 months along and then if you wanted you could book your actual wedding for the same date the following year, that way your baby will be about 8 months old so hopefully sleeping a bit better/feeding etc and also you'll have the same date for your wedding anniversary.

IMO you'd be mad to be having a wedding so near your due date, it's way too risky. Whatever chance you have of getting deposits back a year away, you'd have no chance of getting it back if you had to cancel a month out if (god forbid) you developed complications or the baby arrived early/late. I remember 2 weeks before my due date I was incredibly uncomfortable - I developed SPD and walking around or sitting down was incredibly painful. It was a pretty minor complication in the grand scheme of things, but if I'd been getting married, I'd have had to spend the wedding in pain and wanting to lie down. Also, planning a wedding is stressful, and the last thing a pregnant woman needs is more stress.

jezzer

Sukine1 wrote: »

Hi all,
Myself and my Fiance have just booked everything for our wedding. This will be our second attempt at it as our last had to be put on hold due to illness.
However after a few years of trying for a baby, we have only discovered we are Pregnant. The baby will be due 2 weeks before the Wedding.
We dont know what to do know, should we cancel the Wedding or take the chance the possibility of the baby being late etc
Anyone been in similar situation with Pregnancy and planning a Wedding?

I would cancel, a wedding is serious stress and hassle you dont need it when your expecting, the baby is the important thing...

pooch90

Just to add a gross element to it, if baby does come before wedding you may well still have post partum bleeding/leaky boobs and stitches to contend with! I'd push it to the same time next year.

Peregrinus

Don't cancel, but do reschedule.

pwurple

Great news, congratulations! 
Reschedule it, and make is sooner rather than later. It's so much easier to do a wedding before a baby arrives, and you save a load of legal hassle with sorting out guardianship, next of kin, father's rights.
My cousin recently had the same dilemma and the venue were very accommodating about finding different dates.

unclebill98

Sukine1 wrote: »

Hi all,
Myself and my Fiance have just booked everything for our wedding. This will be our second attempt at it as our last had to be put on hold due to illness.
However after a few years of trying for a baby, we have only discovered we are Pregnant. The baby will be due 2 weeks before the Wedding.
We dont know what to do know, should we cancel the Wedding or take the chance the possibility of the baby being late etc
Anyone been in similar situation with Pregnancy and planning a Wedding?

Hi, we recently had a wedding booked for Aug and the client is now pregnant. She managed to move everything to June as she was due early Sept. From our conversations she managed to move everything without loosing a single deposit. However, her wedding is a thursday which I would assume played its part.

Dolbert

Another vote to bring it forward a few months here! Getting married pregnant will be a hell of a lot easier than newly post-partum. The first few weeks after giving birth are physically very tough.