Why am I sisters bridesmaid

Whitewidow123 · 14-01-2017 11:21am #1

So my sister is getting married this year,, she has 3 bridemaid, me, and my 2 sisters. She has asked them to be bridesmaid but just assumed I would be, didn't even ask me.. didn't even know I was bridesmaid until she arrived at my house wanting me to go shoppin which I thought was odd because we don't get on, she looks her nose down at me and everything I do, she thinks she's something high and mighty which our family is not, we're just a normal middle class family. She doesn't even talk to me, I know nothing about the wedding but the other two sister know everything she has booked, she even brought them to see the band but didn't even ask me.. we never fell out or an thing it's just since she got all "high and mighty" that she looks down on me.. I really don't want to be bridesmaid because I know il just be left out from everything and I can't deal with it, what do I do and how do I tell her seein as we don't get on?

DoctorBoo · 14-01-2017 11:51am

She's only including you for the sake of appearances. If your relationship is as bad as you suggest, then I would politely tell her that you don't have time to carry out the bridesmaid tasks, so she should count you out.

Dial Hard · 14-01-2017 11:59am

Are you sure you actually *are* a bridesmaid? If she doesn't talk to you, hasn't asked you and isn't including you in any of the planning, then it sounds like there's a possibility you're the one who's making assumptions, sorry.

Also, not sure what this has to do with the Meath forum? Might be better in Weddings or even PI.

evolving_doors · 14-01-2017 12:06pm

DoctorBoo wrote: »

She's only including you for the sake of appearances. If your relationship is as bad as you suggest, then I would politely tell her that you don't have time to carry out the bridesmaid tasks, so she should count you out.

Would she expect to be a bridesmaid if you were getting married (would you want her... people go for freinds over family and that's ok too btw). Don't worry about not getting on ... I'll bet she's of a different generation, that's just the way some siblings are, they've grown up at different times so have little in common.

Maybe it might be a time to reconcile though. If you just keep your peace and try and focus on the rest of the family on the big day.. have your fun with them instead. Play the smiling bridesmaid. Show her that you're above all the putdowns and not going to "throw a strop to distract from her big day" (her probable words if you rock the boat).

Edit: Hold on a sec, how do you know you are a bridesmaid if you haven't been asked. The only info you've given is "she arrived at my house wanting me to go shoppin". How do you know this makes you a bridesmaid, unless it was to get you sized for a bridesmaid dress or something.

PauloMN · 14-01-2017 2:18pm

Mod note: the Meath forum is not the place for this thread. OP, please try the Personal Issues forum for this one, thanks. Closing this.

PI addition - Taltos
Thread reopened. Posts below standard removed, please read our charter before posting as due to the issues here we moderate strictly.

GingerLily · 14-01-2017 3:44pm

You need to ask her if she does want you as a bridesmaid, you may have misunderstood her.

It's okay that you don't get along - not all sister's do, but try maybe be a little less negative about her, it's not healthy for you and it could cause family conflict in the future.

Rubberchikken · 14-01-2017 3:48pm

you need to find out if you are definitely a bridesmaid first. i'm sorry your relationship with your sister isn't close. are the comments about her being 'high and mighty' really justified. we can all, at some time or other, feel a little insecure and maybe perceive someone else as being a bit like this when they may really not be.

take care

14-01-2017 3:48pm

Whitewidow123 wrote: »

. I really don't want to be bridesmaid because I know il just be left out from everything and I can't deal with it, what do I do and how do I tell her seein as we don't get on?

Well, IF you are a bridesmaid it would appear to me that your sister is actually including you, and you are not left out.
If you are not a bridesmaid, then maybe you are being left out.

Whitewidow123 · 14-01-2017 5:45pm

Gebgbegb wrote: »

Would she expect to be a bridesmaid if you were getting married (would you want her... people go for freinds over family and that's ok too btw). Don't worry about not getting on ... I'll bet she's of a different generation, that's just the way some siblings are, they've grown up at different times so have little in common.

Maybe it might be a time to reconcile though. If you just keep your peace and try and focus on the rest of the family on the big day.. have your fun with them instead. Play the smiling bridesmaid. Show her that you're above all the putdowns and not going to "throw a strop to distract from her big day" (her probable words if you rock the boat).

Edit: Hold on a sec, how do you know you are a bridesmaid if you haven't been asked. The only info you've given is "she arrived at my house wanting me to go shoppin". How do you know this makes you a bridesmaid, unless it was to get you sized for a bridesmaid dress or something.

Thank you for your reply I'm sorry I posted in the meath forum as I am new to this and wasn't sure what to do for that option.
Sorry I wasn't clear, she came to my house to go bridesmaid dress shoppin, we have our dresses bought..
Your reply was helpful thank you

TheChizler · 14-01-2017 5:48pm

Maybe this is an effort to include you?

Big Bag of Chips · 14-01-2017 7:11pm

Do you want to be her bridesmaid? If so, and she has included you in the bridal party then get involved yourself. You don't necessarily have to get involved in the wedding plans, or feel the need to become best friends with your sister. But with your other sisters you can arrange things. Help to arrange the hen night. Help to arrange the morning of the wedding.

If you'd rather not be her bridesmaid, then tell her sooner rather than later so that she can either find a replacement or reorganise the bridal party if she wants. But don't go along with it and then feel hard done by if you don't feel included enough. Not all sisters are best friends. I know I'm not with one of mine!! But I was bridesmaid for her wedding and I agreed to everything she asked of me... All with a smile!

Either do it, or don't. But if you decide to do it, don't do it reluctantly.

Why am I sisters bridesmaid

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