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Find social situations awkward and difficult

  • 18-12-2016 2:06pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I went through most of my life just making up excuses to get out of social events. But, over the last few years I have made myself make more of an effort and go to as many as I can. However, I never seem to win no matter what I do. If I don't go I end up feeling guilty and thinking how people must think bad of me because I didn't go. If I do go I find the whole situation awkward and find it difficult to make small talk.

    I'm very much a reserved and introverted person but I am not scared to talk to people. I just feel I am awkward and end up just sitting there trying to think of something to say to anyone, trying to find the right moment to say whatever I have thought of , and struggling with the noise level. If someone initiates conversation with me I find it hard to come up with questions to ask them on the spot. I then spend days going over the event in my head and cringing over how awkward I was and how weird people must think I am. It has become much worse as recently my sister commented on how she thought I didn't enjoy a recent party we had both attended and that I didn't seem to talk to many people there.

    I just want to attend social events and enjoy them like a normal person and not end up feeling terrible during and after each one.


Comments

  • #2
    gercoral
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 251 ✭✭gercoral


    it's ok, don't fret. i'm the very same..or i used to be quite bad at it but have gotten better over the years.

    you seem to be a socially anxious person, perhaps lacking in self esteem? personally i think it's a very difficult rut to get out of, but if im being honest, i think people are just born that way. as a child, i was always very quiet, very reserved, hated attention, hated talking to people etc, and i kind of brought it with me into my adulthood. i'm not as bad as i used to be, but i think going on little outings with my best friends helped me. they know the kind of person i am, and they never force my into awkward or unnerving situations. going out more often helped. but i would have a serious lack of esteem and confidence.

    don't let it stress you too much. what i tend to do is, on a night out, if there's a group talking, ill stay in their company, and if they mention something, anything that you have some sort of knowledge about, just add your 2 cents worth. show that you have an interest in what they are saying, and its something you can converse comfortably about. :) or a great game is ad libs. games like that are such a good laugh :)


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