Boyfriend mentaily ill???

19sands

My boyfriend of 15months is showing signs of delusions. His paranoia is mostly aimed at me. He's a history as a child of hearing voices telling him to Kill his mother. He's doing night shifts the last year and suffered allot of insomnia. He's always a bit eccentric. But two weeks ago found drugs in work and took some. He hasn't been normal since lost allot of weight, puples always dilated. Talks non stop. Paranoid I'm cheating. Watches my Evey mood.. needy and telling me I don't love him... needs constant reassurance.. it's never enough.
Now he's convinced I'm taking drugs and hiding it because he finds crystal type substance around the house and car even thinks they were in my tobacco. He got a drug kit and I passed but is still manic I'm lieing. He says he seen crystals on my nose and lips. I'm at my wits end. He has my 12yr Old son he's just worried about me. I'm worn out. I don't know what to do. He told my brother I'm on drugs and he seen us both and believes my boyfriend if off his nut. I don't want to tell his family but no idea how to deal with him anymore.

Uriel.

He clearly needs professional help. If you can, you might try to facilitate it. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but you could support him through it. But he needs help, and if he's unwilling to seek it, you should walk away as it will ruin your life as well as his

JaMarcusHustle

First thing's first.

If someone who has a history of hearing voices in his head telling him to kill people is suddenly getting paranoid towards you, is accusing you of lying to him and becoming more and more unstable, then you need to get out of that house and stay with someone else, right now.

Seriously, I never comment on PI but you and your son are in a lot of danger.

Surreptitious

Get a GP and he'll possibly be committed until he's stable enough to be left out. You never mentioned his diagnosis or if he's on medication. He can't go on like this anyway and neither can you. I honestly wish you all the best and him being in a secure environment is the best thing for everyone right now. Edit. It seems the drugs could have triggered this psychotic behaviour as symptoms have started since then.

Richard Hillman

Leave him now, today.

19sands

I love him we were planning a wedding. He said couple weeks ago he heard the witches voice again telling him to crash the car. I'm so devastated. He never told anyone about the voice's except me. Was never on medication that I know of. I feel he's obsessed with me.. and me loving him enough. We live together. He's great with the kids. But has my son turned against me today.. showing him his"edvance" my son believes him. Woke me early this morning accusing me of taking drugs and made me do a test. I'll do something tomorrow I don't trust him in the house but refuses to leave. He's now treating to calling guards on me .. absolutely madness

bp

You need to call the guards, your GP and his family asap. Get out of the house immediately and get your children away from him.

Is it legal to record an outburst? If it is get video evidence to show the GP and guards incase he tries to blame you. He needs professional help to get through this - he can hopefully get past this but with help from those who train in this field

19sands

bp wrote: »

You need to call the guards, your GP and his family asap. Get out of the house immediately and get your children away from him.

Is it legal to record an outburst? If it is get video evidence to show the GP and guards incase he tries to blame you. He needs professional help to get through this - he can hopefully get past this but with help from those who train in this field

Iv a couple recordings to send to his brother. As I was writing the last post he locked himself in the bathroom and rang the guards.. because he says he saw four guys coming in the front door to beat him up. And I set it up. Guards came don't believe him, they believe me but can't remove him because no violence has accord. Only if it flars up again to ring and they will take him. They thought he was drinking alcohol... but he doesn't drink either do I. Thy just told him to go to sleep. He's still wondering around. I'm locked in my room. Tomorrow his family have to bring him home. I'm frightened and so worried about him

tomwaterford

19sands wrote: »

Iv a couple recordings to send to his brother. As I was writing the last post he locked himself in the bathroom and rang the guards.. because he says he saw four guys coming in the front door to beat him up. And I set it up. Guards came don't believe him, they believe me but can't remove him because no violence has accord. Only if it flars up again to ring and they will take him. They thought he was drinking alcohol... but he doesn't drink either do I. Thy just told him to go to sleep. He's still wondering around. I'm locked in my room. Tomorrow his family have to bring him home. I'm frightened and so worried about him

Ring the gp or some medical profissional to call out....to even get him calm a bit

Before he either harms you or himself

JustAThought

tomwaterford wrote: »

Ring the gp or some medical profissional to call out....to even get him calm a bit

Before he either harms you or himself

Sometimes when you're in a situation that is slowly deteriorating youcan't step back and see clearly how utterly dangerous and insane it is. You said not just one 12yr old but mentioned children??? You need to get him away from them. Drug testing? Locking himself into bathrooms while imaginary people come for him. Gaurds arriving at the door? Outbursts of accusations & 'visions' and voices telling him to crash the car? What are you waiting for? Get out of the house, take the kids with you and ring his brother or family and tell them to come and take him away - he needs medical help. And no -don't tie yourself to him by marrying him from sympathy or gratitude or sense of guilt. You have enough warnings of serious psychotic problems & danger to yourself and your child/ children. What if he crashes the car with you or them in it? Or burns the house down while you sleep. Or kills you - or your child - because his voices told him to? You are in serious trouble & every year we see women who stood by their mentally illhusbands murdered & everybody after says oh y - he was a bit odd, very controlling, but they seemed like a nice family. Get yourself out while you still have one.

He is his parents responsibility. Have him comitted to where he will get proper residential and long term help and have a support infrastructure around him. Don't wait to hope things will improve. This sounds like a total nightmare - and your kids will see that too if they don't already - your first job is to keep them safe and protect them from harm. How will you live with yourself if he kills or harms them? And how will you live with yourself knowing you knew this was wrong and insane but left them there with him & his drugs & violent talking invisible voices ?

Get out and get your kids out, and then get his family to get him help - VHI will cover 50+ days in St Pats, or it is free if comitted. Both good options.

pc7

Please please please take your child (children?) this morning and go. Can you stay with family or friends. Ring his family and ask them to go get and help him. You need to protect the children and yourself first. He sounds very unwell and needs help but your children need you to protect them.

batmanrobin

OP, your children are your priority and you need to take than out of that environment right now. Even if he doesn't physically harm them, being around someone who is suffering as this man is will not be good for them.

Once you have them removed, you can sort out helping him. Get his family round, get his GP, do what you can, but get your children out FFS.

whelan2

Get an ambulance to come. Then he has to be dealt with. Best of luck

DoctorBoo

Get your children out now. Get yourself out now. It's too dangerous to wait. Get help!

D0NNELLY

Hhmmm. This is a tough one..

Oh no, sorry, wrong thread. Leave!

uck51js9zml2yt

You need to get out of the house.
You also need to call his famiky, tell them what going on and urge them to get him medical help.
If you call an ambulance , he can refuse to go and the crew will go away.
You also have no legal standing in getting him sectioned.

Protect yourself and your son first and tell his family. You should also call the Gardai as he has threatened to take his life and you fear he will harm you.
As for a wedding, I wouldn't be planning anything until he's had medical treatment and is stable.

cavan4sam

OP this is so sad to hear
please leave asap do it for your children.

bp

Please look after yourself and the children and help them understand his behaviour isn't normal but he has a sickness in his head that needs a doctor to help with. They must be confused and scared so they will be the priority. I really hope you are ok

Yellow pack crisps

Put that of your children's safety and your own first. You can help your partner but from a safe place and that will be most beneficial to him and you. Best of luck its very sad to read this.

leggo

OP I've been with someone who had untreated mental health issues (not as serious or threatening as yours, but still serious), so I identify with not wanting to leave them because you separate the illness from the person. I understand how things can be perfect one minute then bat**** the next and you're just trying to hold out because you see that and hope they'll get treated and then you can get the perfect person you love for good.

But, with hindsight, the line for me now is someone not doing something about their mental illness. As a human, I empathise with denial and the struggle people have to admit they don't have control over their own mind, but I also don't need to devote my life to these people either if they refuse to help themselves. Now my attitude is: one crazy incident left unaddressed and I'm gone. Your partner isn't addressing his despite absolutely insane situations. The guards being involved and having to treat him, essentially, like a child telling him to go to bed would be an eye-opener for most. It hasn't been for him. He's too far gone. Now he needs to be committed.

Your safety, and your children's safety, is at risk here. You need to put them first and get out. You're doing your duty as a partner to him by contacting his family and handing it over to them, even if he doesn't see it that way right now it'll hopefully get him the help that he needs and set him up for life. Don't see it as a break-up. Just look after your immediate safety for now in getting away from this man then figure out the rest later. Who knows, if he gets the help he needs and recovers you two could reconcile and get back to normal down the line. But right now you need to go.

pablo128

It sounds like he has been messing with amphetamines and it has triggered his illness. He needs help now.

Big Bag of Chips

The thing about him is, he has no control over what happens. So you can't trust/believe that he won't do anything. He is not in his right mind. And believe it or not, you are enabling it all. By doing drug tests, and humouring him you are not actually helping the situation in any way. Now, he doesn't realise what he's doing, and that makes it more difficult to deal with him. You can't reason with him. You can't make him see that he is wrong. But unless he gets real and proper help it will never ever stop. Ever.

He needs help. He won't get it by himself. So you either need to get it for him, or you need to protect yourself and your children by getting away from him. It's sad because he has no control. But it will be do much worse if he loses all control and it ends in tragedy.

njs030

The guards can commit him under the mental health act but you need to tell them you're scared for yourself and your child. If you downplay it you make it harder for them.

Call them. Leave and take your child until they arrive.

Witchie

I hope the lack of response is because you are not at home and have gone somewhere with the kids. As everyone had said you need to get out and get his family to deal with it.

If you can, please try not to frighten the kids to much. Make a game of it or tell them you are taking the them on a wee Christmas visit to family or go to a hotel down the country for a night or 2.

The most vital thing is to get everyone to safety. He may be the most wonderful of men in his normal state but when he is suffering from this drug induced psychosis he is potentially lethal.

I have seem something similar first hand and you need to get out before things get worse and he hurts you.

from_atozinc

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Thanks
Taltos>

suicide_circus

Probably the scariest post in PI I've ever read.

OP please get you and your kids out of there immediately as it sounds like youre in serious danger.

juno10353

OP I hope you and your children are safe and that your Boyfriend is receiving the necessary care he urgently needs. The times of your posts suggest you were awake all night in very tense circumstances and I now hope you are receiving the necessary support you need to overcome the prolonged stress and fear endured, and to rest and recover. Just as your boyfriend needed urgent help, be aware that you do too. Thought's with you all