Middle aged men shouting in restaurants

Mrs Shuttleworth

Am I the only person who notices/gets annoyed by this?

Three of us went out last night for a very special occasion to the Trocadero on St Andrew Street.

Service was great, food plentiful, but the night ruined by the presence of ten men aged 30s-60s, booming out expletives the whole evening adjacent to our table. We could barely speak nor think.

Do restaurant managers have any protocol on dealing with this? If you complain you run the risk of causing a very nasty drunken row. And the atmosphere in all honesty lost from the outset.

Should you request to be moved? Or just leave?

bruschi

You men, the things you think are ‘great fun’. Like going to the films, a load of men sitting around looking at films! And rollercoasters, a load of men in a rollercoaster going up and down on a big metal track! And sailing, a load of men in a big boat floating around in the sea! And shouting, a load of men going around shouting!

It's just in our nature

osarusan

Did you ask to be seated elsewhere?

darkpagandeath

Was he mansplaining while manspreading ?

Armchair Andy

Just ask to be moved.

Or enjoy the meal regardless.

Whispered

Did you ask to be seated elsewhere? That's what I'd have done. No need for it to be an issue or to ruin any atmosphere (which was ruined anyway?). You don't even have to Mention why to the staff. I would imagine they'd have been happy to help.

Outlaw Pete

In fairness, neither gender has the monopoly on obnoxious inconsiderate behavior in my experience.

I go to gigs quite a bit and you'll get just as many groups of women as you will groups of men roaring and cackling away seemingly oblivious to the fact that they are ruining other people's night.

Ferrari3600

Dublin has its fair share of these types unfortunately:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNmBauXYzgc

Atari Jaguar

All the manager can do is request they quieten down. But aren't likely to unless they get numerous complaints because it can cause a fit.

_Kaiser_

Could have been worse OP. You could have been there earlier and met this guy...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eREiQhBDIk

(Excellent film BTW!)

padd b1975

Ten men on a Christmas night out at an upper end restaurant.....You're probably talking the thick end of €1000 worth of business right there.

No way were the staff going to intervene, no matter how many complaints!!

andekwarhola

It's Christmas and people tend to be at the upper end of convivial when they're out.

Also, right or wrong as it may be, they're the type of people that restaurants want as custom: high spending gregarious sorts that shell out on booze by the sounds of it. As opposed to Art Of Conversation customers that share a bottle of mineral water.

Atari Jaguar

padd b1975 wrote: »

Ten men on a Christmas night out at an upper end restaurant.....You're probably talking the thick end of €1000 worth of business right there.

No way were the staff going to intervene, no matter how many complaints!!

Yes they will. If 20 customers complain and leave that's 2000 they've lost. You don't leave everyone unhappy or uncomfortable because a few people are spending some money. That's exactly how you ensure people never return.

"Oh how about we eat here?"

"Nah there was some oul ***** one time causing an awful racket and management did nothing"

"**** then so"

LETHAL LADY

Something to do with wanting to be alpha male I think.:D

Seriously though, boorish behaviour is not the preserve of middle-aged men.

Fleawuss

One must have a protocol. And an implementation sub group. Only after the focus group has synergised the input of the expert group who have taken a multi disciplinary approach through the lens of empowerment in a contra patriarchal zeitgeist.

Alternatively tell them to shut the fcuk up.

andekwarhola

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Something to do with wanting to be alpha male I think.:D

Seriously though, boorish behaviour is not the preserve of middle-aged men.

I worked in a similar level restaurant as a student and to be fair, any genuinely noisy or disruptive patrons were usually asked to tone it down. Our place was always more lively in December.

These threads are similar to the ones about kids in public spaces: it's always hard to ascertain if it's a genuine case of poor behaviour slipping under the radar or whether it's somebody that essentially wants public spaces cleared whenever they venture out.

ted1

10 high pitch middle age women can be equally as annoying or worse

bazz26

Probably don't get out much these days as they used to and it being the office Christmas party season with a bit of booze makes them get a bit lively. Middle aged women are just as bad on a night out when they had a bit too much wine.

LETHAL LADY

andekwarhola wrote: »

I worked in a similar level restaurant as a student and to be fair, any genuinely noisy or disruptive patrons were usually asked to tone it down.

These threads are similar to the ones about kids in public spaces: it's always hard to ascertain if it's a genuine case of poor behaviour slipping under the radar or whether it's somebody that essentially wants public spaces cleared whenever they venture out.

Agreed, but I've never experienced a massive amount of marauding gangs of uncouth middle-aged men when I was out and about

Zaph

Ferrari3600 wrote: »

Dublin has its fair share of these types unfortunately:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNmBauXYzgc

You'll get d*ckheads everywhere, it's not something that's exclusive to Dublin.

Charles Babbage

Don't leave any tip. Post a suitable review on tripadvisor.

Jimmy Garlic

There are ways to deal with rowdy customers..

Atari Jaguar

Charles Babbage wrote: »

Don't leave any tip. Post a suitable review on tripadvisor.

Who tips in Ireland?

ted1

Atari Jaguer wrote: »

Who tips in Ireland?

Most people.

Atari Jaguar

ted1 wrote: »

Most people.

Never seen it in me life. I certainly wouldn't anyway. We're not exactly New York.

_Jamie_

Loudness in restuarants is definitely not gender-specific! It is really annoying though.

padd b1975

Atari Jaguer wrote: »

Yes they will. If 20 customers complain and leave that's 2000 they've lost. You don't leave everyone unhappy or uncomfortable because a few people are spending some money. That's exactly how you ensure people never return.

"Oh how about we eat here?"

"Nah there was some oul ***** one time causing an awful racket and management did nothing"

"**** then so"

20 people won't complain at the time though, not a chance.
This is Ireland we're talking about here!

The land of Joe Duffy.

Grayson

Atari Jaguer wrote: »

Never seen it in me life. I certainly wouldn't anyway. We're not exactly New York.

Most people tip in restaurants.

I had a friend who worked in Thunder Road during college. Normally he's make enough to keep going but during xmas he made a fortune in tips. I think he made a grand one week.

ted1

Atari Jaguer wrote: »

Never seen it in me life. I certainly wouldn't anyway. We're not exactly New York.

You must have a very stingy network of friends or you never get out.
I've never seen no one not tip.

Berserker

Atari Jaguer wrote: »

Never seen it in me life. I certainly wouldn't anyway. We're not exactly New York.

Crikey. It would be rare that we wouldn't tip. Once the service and food is good, we would always leave a tip. I'd even tip when I eat out for lunch in a sit down restaurant.

Mrs Shuttleworth wrote: »

Am I the only person who notices/gets annoyed by this?

Wouldn't say that it is exclusive to men. A table full of women can be just as rowdy.

seamus

It's Christmas. For the next month every restaurant and bar will have at least one large group of very loud people of many genders.

If don't like it, stay out of the city.

chocksaway

ted1 wrote: »

10 high pitch middle age women can be equally as annoying or worse

This exactly! There were 3 of them on the bus home on Tuesday. Shouting and roaring about the dealsin arnotts, how its a pity cleary's is gone and shaws isnt the same anymore. And did ya hear eileen is gone to spain for Christmas- couldn't be doing that now.

Asking to move table sounds like a reasonable approach

Mortpourvelo

chocksaway wrote: »

This exactly! There were 3 of them on the bus home on Tuesday. Shouting and roaring about the dealsin arnotts, how its a pity cleary's is gone and shaws isnt the same anymore. And did ya hear eileen is gone to spain for Christmas- couldn't be doing that now.

I'll take a few lairy lads in a restaurant any day over the flight I took last weekend with a hen party.

Jesus they were pathetic!

midnight city

Have you ever been sat next to a table of cackling women. The noise is deafening. Seriously loud.

endacl

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Was he mansplaining while manspreading ?

Or gesturing expansively while talking bollocks?

"Testiculating"

_Brian

Mrs Shuttleworth wrote: »

Am I the only person who notices/gets annoyed by this?

Three of us went out last night for a very special occasion to the Trocadero on St Andrew Street.

Service was great, food plentiful, but the night ruined by the presence of ten men aged 30s-60s, booming out expletives the whole evening adjacent to our table. We could barely speak nor think.

Do restaurant managers have any protocol on dealing with this? If you complain you run the risk of causing a very nasty drunken row. And the atmosphere in all honesty lost from the outset.

Should you request to be moved? Or just leave?

You could ask to be moved if you can see a free table further away..
You could also bring the issue to a member of staff and have them asked to be a bit quieter as respect to other customers..

There would be no need to be identified as those who made the complaint..

FEw years ago we were seated near a large group in a restraunt, they were having a great time and a bit noisy.. between starters and main I asked could we be moved due to the noise and it was no problem at all, manager even stood us drinks as way of apology.. They enjoyed their party and we had a nice relaxed meal.. staff got a good tip so everyone was happy.

The group you describe probably include a few who may be hard of hearing, a few who had a bit more drink than usual and then possibly a few tools.. its a bad combination in a restaurant but I'm sure something could have been done rather than just put up with it... thats just too Irish, put up with it, have a miserable time, then tell everyone about your awful experience, but do nothing about it..

irish_goat

Worked for years in restaurants and the worst offenders were always married, middle aged women out on a bi-annual "girl's night out" or
"day release" as I liked to call it. Shrieks, pig laughs and inappropriate behaviour were always the specials those evenings.

Mortpourvelo

irish_goat wrote: »

Worked for years in restaurants and the worst offenders were always married, middle aged women out on a bi-annual "girl's night out" or
"day release" as I liked to call it. Shrieks, pig laughs and inappropriate behaviour were always the specials those evenings.

Oh God the shrieking! Why girls, just why ??!!!

py2006

ted1 wrote: »

10 high pitch middle age women can be equally as annoying or worse

Clucking chickens comes to mind! :pac:

Mrs Shuttleworth

Charles Babbage wrote: »

Don't leave any tip. Post a suitable review on tripadvisor.

Done.

MarkR

Nothing like women for generalizing. :rolleyes:

Mrs Shuttleworth

_Brian wrote: »

You could ask to be moved if you can see a free table further away..
You could also bring the issue to a member of staff and have them asked to be a bit quieter as respect to other customers..

There would be no need to be identified as those who made the complaint..

FEw years ago we were seated near a large group in a restraunt, they were having a great time and a bit noisy.. between starters and main I asked could we be moved due to the noise and it was no problem at all, manager even stood us drinks as way of apology.. They enjoyed their party and we had a nice relaxed meal.. staff got a good tip so everyone was happy.

The group you describe probably include a few who may be hard of hearing, a few who had a bit more drink than usual and then possibly a few tools.. its a bad combination in a restaurant but I'm sure something could have been done rather than just put up with it... thats just too Irish, put up with it, have a miserable time, then tell everyone about your awful experience, but do nothing about it..

You are right - two of us wanted to move, the third person didn't want to "make a fuss".

The restaurant was full and truthfully there was nowhere to move to. If it happens again, I'm going to just leave and tell the management why on my way out.

Some sarky poster above indicates that shouting is something that men just do. Agreed, but keep that for a pub or the rugby pitch.

Not a quiet section of good restaurant, and the f and c words every five seconds.

Day Lewin

I think its hardly fair to blame the restaurant...if they weren't told, what could they have done?

I believe in politely addressing the people who are acting too loud -
"Oh, excuse me - could you turn down the volume a bit? We're having a conversation over here, and there's a lot of background noise..."

They nearly always apologise, didn't realise - etc - no harm done!!

If no response, tell the waiter or manager.

I mean, you're paying: why be afraid of the other customers?

I don't approve at all of the passive-aggressive, say-nothing-at-the-time-but-moan-to-others-afterwards approach: direct polite speech gets much better results.

Mrs Shuttleworth

Day Lewin wrote: »

I think its hardly fair to blame the restaurant...if they weren't told, what could they have done?

I believe in politely addressing the people who are acting too loud -
"Oh, excuse me - could you turn down the volume a bit? We're having a conversation over here, and there's a lot of background noise..."

They nearly always apologise, didn't realise - etc - no harm done!!

If no response, tell the waiter or manager.

I mean, you're paying: why be afraid of the other customers?

I don't approve at all of the passive-aggressive, say-nothing-at-the-time-but-moan-to-others-afterwards approach: direct polite speech gets much better results.

I don't agree. If in one particular section of the restaurant only one table can be heard, with the f and c words in every sentence, the management have a duty to step in. It would not be appropriate at all for another table to address aggressive customers such as these, it runs the risk of a very nasty public row.

I had a look at Trip Advisor and another customer on a different night had a similar complaint at that restaurant; a complaint was made to management but they did nothing whatsoever about it.

Xaracatz

Mrs Shuttleworth wrote: »

Done.

I think that's a bit unfair if you did not mention any issue to the restaurant staff in the first place. Two of the three of you wanted to move - you don't know what the staff may have done if given the opportunity.

You also don't know if the staff had asked the offending party to tone it down, but if they had no complaints from other diners, how much could they do?

FixdePitchmark

Was at such an event last week in Malahide.

I was out for the old romantic meal with herself - and a bunch of about 15 lads and 3 girls on a work night out. (god help the girls in this company, some of the lads too). The restaurant was fine dining - and it perplexed me that any work night out would be a place like that.

These lad were having "de craic" - fair play to them - but the company had more money than sense. Meals were coming out all done up in fancy ways - and the lads were pointing at them saying
" what the **** is that"
"lol lol lol lol lol lol "
"jaysus where is me chips"

They genuinely sounded like they were in Dublin Zoo.

Then every course (this is a bad habit anyway) , but about 7/8 of them would get up for a smoke - as the courses went on they were knocking over glasses etc, to get out for their smoke or coke.

I had a nice game in my head of what they worked at - must be a mad workplace.

The language out of them was unreal. I'm no saint and use to that stuff from my younger years.

It didn't bother me that much - was funny at times. Felt sorry for some older couples right next to them.

I blame the boss and the restaurant -

In an ideal world
The owner of company would keep manners on them
The owner of restaurant would keep manners on them
The owner of the restaurant would give a drink or gesture to tables around them

But we are Irish, don't complain much and had a great night anyway.

Was hillarious

"look how ****ing small me dinner is"

In my mind they worked in a tyre factory - a building site or a glue factory.

And , I have admiration for anyone in tough working environments.

But Jesus lads, a time and a place and there is always the right place.

Mrs Shuttleworth

Xaracatz wrote: »

I think that's a bit unfair if you did not mention any issue to the restaurant staff in the first place. Two of the three of you wanted to move - you don't know what the staff may have done if given the opportunity.

You also don't know if the staff had asked the offending party to tone it down, but if they had no complaints from other diners, how much could they do?

What's unfair is that the balance of power in these situations rests with the person doing the shouting.

They get their great night out - everyone else has to change their plans or suck it up.

hannible the cannible

So , you didn't complain , you instead chose to come on boards and leave a bad reviews on TripAdvisor , what's the point of that , last night was the time to act and you chose not to , you should stay in in future and have a pizza night with the girls , you'll find this month to be very boisterous in pubs and restaurants , you should give it a miss if you can't handle it

midnight city

I think the OP's name may be Louise O'.....

Arne_Saknussem

FixdePitchmark wrote: »

Was at such an event last week in Malahide.

I was out for the old romantic meal with herself - and a bunch of about 15 lads and 3 girls on a work night out. (god help the girls in this company, some of the lads too). The restaurant was fine dining - and it perplexed me that any work night out would be a place like that.

These lad were having "de craic" - fair play to them - but the company had more money than sense. Meals were coming out all done up in fancy ways - and the lads were pointing at them saying
" what the **** is that"
"lol lol lol lol lol lol "
"jaysus where is me chips"

They genuinely sounded like they were in Dublin Zoo.

Then every course (this is a bad habit anyway) , but about 7/8 of them would get up for a smoke - as the courses went on they were knocking over glasses etc, to get out for their smoke or coke.

I had a nice game in my head of what they worked at - must be a mad workplace.

The language out of them was unreal. I'm no saint and use to that stuff from my younger years.

It didn't bother me that much - was funny at times. Felt sorry for some older couples right next to them.

I blame the boss and the restaurant -

In an ideal world
The owner of company would keep manners on them
The owner of restaurant would keep manners on them
The owner of the restaurant would give a drink or gesture to tables around them

But we are Irish, don't complain much and had a great night anyway.

Was hillarious

"look how ****ing small me dinner is"

In my mind they worked in a tyre factory - a building site or a glue factory.

And , I have admiration for anyone in tough working environments.

But Jesus lads, a time and a place and there is always the right place.

You really shouldn't have to tolerate inferior people, my condolences.