I have to go to Dublin this weekend

Mr. FoggPatches

Any tips on how i could manage to get in and get out without being attacked by junkie scum would be appreciated.
Thanks

Esel

A swordstick is de rigeur.

The_Valeyard

Dublin is grand.

Grayson

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

Any tips on how i could manage to get in and get out without being attacked by junkie scum would be appreciated.
Thanks

Always offer to share your needle.

Felix Jones is God

Wear a sign that says "homosexual for hire".....junkies will leave you alone then .....can't say he same if youre daft enough to take the Dáil Eireann tour

MonkstownHoop

Make sure your GAA Jersey is visible but keep your sambos hidden in your fanny pack

Pinch Flat

Just be careful where you have the tae and hang sangwiches and you won't stand out.

Mr. FoggPatches

Felix Jones is God wrote: »

Wear a sign that says "homosexual for hire".....junkies will leave you alone then .....can't say he same if youre daft enough to take the Dáil Eireann tour

You've clearly never read trainspotting

jimmy blevins

Is it to remedy a malparkage op?

MonkstownHoop

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

You've clearly never read trainspotting

Why would you read a film sure?

DontThankMe

Just go to cork instead.

ardinn

I was in Kilkenny earlier - Im in dublin now


Mad!

horse7

where you going

whoopsadoodles

Read Max Brooks Zombie Survival Guide before travelling.

listermint

If you don't talk too much culchie then they will leave you alone.

Felix Jones is God

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

You've clearly never read trainspotting

Youre assuming I can read ?..... the dubs are going to eat you alive

Mr. FoggPatches

jimmy blevins wrote: »

Is it to remedy a malparkage op?

There's no abortion in Ireland, I thought?

punisher5112

Please please op stay out for your own safety.

If junkies don't get you the roadworks and new luas tracks will.

Fleawuss

They heard you are coming. They have deployed a perimeter of weed addicts along the M50 as lookouts. Inside that you will hit the first line of crazed pill poppers supported by ecstasy ravers. Get past them and you hit the line of hardened coke snorters but if you make it to quays the undead will be upon you. Meth addicts, crack heads and heroin injectors will rip you limb from limb.

Did that feed the stereotype?

Mr. FoggPatches

horse7 wrote: »

where you going

Dalkey. Supposed to be fairly rough

Ted_YNWA

Sorry for your troubles OP, I will light a candle for you.

whoopsadoodles

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

Dalkey. Supposed to be fairly rough

They eat their own in dalkey.

Best of luck.

Mr. FoggPatches

Fleawuss wrote: »

They heard you are coming. They have deployed a perimeter of weed addicts along the M50 as lookouts. Inside that you will hit the first line of crazed pill poppers supported by ecstasy ravers. Get past them and you hit the line of hardened coke snorters but if you make it to quays the undead will be upon you. Meth addicts, crack heads and heroin injectors will rip you limb from limb.

Did that feed the stereotype?

You left out tracksuits, thieving and prostitution. Other than that, good job

Cortina_MK_IV

If you have hubcaps then take them off.

whoopsadoodles

Cortina_MK_IV wrote: »

If you have hubcaps then take them off.

Don't be silly.

We can do that for you.

Hammer89

Just avoid the Northside. I always stop and turn around once the smell of spunk and blood fills the air, which is usually around Westmoreland St. It's usually a sign that some absolute junkballs or scobes approaching from the North. Sometimes they violate the treaty and just walk over to our side, as if their Air Max have a mind of their own. My bro Rob got stabbed in the Ilac Centre about four years ago by the security guard. No word of a lie like.

super_furry

You don't need to do anything. You turf-eaters come up stinking of so much cow shi1te that no-one will want to go near you anyway.

MilesMorales1

If the wallet inspector approaches you, hand it over. Thats important stuff.

afatbollix

Fair play to you OP... You're some mad basterd..

Don't be forgetting one of these I wouldn't be going any where near Dublin with out it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Armor-Knife-Front-Proof-Concealed/dp/B016I1C1CE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1480020439&sr=8-1&keywords=stab+vest

Also bring your own Sambos I heard they cost a fortune in the Pale.

DrumSteve

Make sure you have your passport and visa for the border.

super_furry

If you can, make sure you wash the smell of your cousin off your fingers before going to shake hands with anyone you meet. And don't forget, it might be considered the done thing in Ballydehob, but you don't need to spit into the palm of your hand.

nullzero

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

Any tips on how i could manage to get in and get out without being attacked by junkie scum would be appreciated.
Thanks

Are you only stopping over on your way to get an irregular coat?

dodderangler

If you are attacked by junkie scum it's because of your opinion of Dublin.

AndyBoBandy

What ever you do, Give Anto a sup of your lemonade.

mansize

Seek refuge in the nearest Spuermacs, or Fannerys, or Coppers

MadDog76

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

Any tips on how i could manage to get in and get out without being attacked by junkie scum would be appreciated.
Thanks

Don't bring any with you ...........

mansize

Give him €2 for the bus too

whoopsadoodles

dodderangler wrote: »

If you are attacked by junkie scum it's because of your opinion of Dublin.

Oh no.

They can even read your thoughts now.

They're going to take over soon.

Run. Run for your lives!

maudgonner

I don't understand, it's not the 8th of December yet?

Walter2016

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

Dalkey. Supposed to be fairly rough

Dalkey is not in Dublin.

Dalkey is the capital of the Killiney/Dalkey archipelago and its citizens do not associate themselves with yobs/dubs.

The Killiney/Dalkey archipelago is twinned with Howth/Malahide outer reaches.

dodderangler

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Oh no.

They can even read your thoughts now.

They're going to take over soon.

Run. Run for your lives!

Never said they could read minds. The op deserves it if that's his opinion of Dublin. Karma and all that For being a dick

DEFTLEFTHAND

Keep a miraculous medal of Our Lady on your person at all times.

Remember OP that you can pay the bus driver with a tenner and he will give you back the change.

Felix Jones is God

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Remember OP that you can pay the bus driver with a tenner and he will give you back the change.

In heroin

whoopsadoodles

dodderangler wrote: »

Never said they could read minds. The op deserves it if that's his opinion of Dublin. Karma and all that For being a dick

Ah he's on a wind up. Don't be minding him.

The flying mouse

Mr. FoggPatches wrote: »

Any tips on how i could manage to get in and get out without being attacked by junkie scum would be appreciated.
Thanks

Listen buddy, dress lik erm,n tak ike erm, wen u c dem approaching ask em hav tey ny blueys, tey no den ur 1 of tem.

Cortina_MK_IV

How many Padre Pio shtickers do you have on your windowscreen?

salmocab

Just head to phibsboro it will be homely for you.

The flying mouse

Don't mention Mayo.

Cortina_MK_IV

Try some local lingo lessons.

Storyman = Hello.
Stall it = Wait here a moment please.
Skull ih = Drink up.

KERSPLAT!

Unfortunately there's no way around it. Enter Dublin and you're likely to die.