Would you let the public verbally abuse you for just doing your job??

Masala

Just wondering for those who have to work with the public (waiters / bus drivers / shop assistants etc...) - do you accept any verbal abuse from a member of the public when you are just doing your job.

eg... bus is late cos traffic is bad- not caused by you. Or.... they maintain that the there is no place to seat in a busy coffee shop etc.

There just seems to be a more tendency of the public letting fly these days and they seem to think that they have a right to speak to an employee as they like even though its not the fault of the employee.

Has happened to me a few times and I have just grovelled and apologized profusely for the same of the company. But now I am in my mid-fifties - I am finding it harder to hold back when some 20++ yr old starts listing off her rights. Or even mentioning going to local paper / radio to complain etc....

Feel that I am going to let rip soon at the next person who abuses me ....

Sufitzy

Masala wrote: »

Just wondering for those who have to work with the public (waiters / bus drivers / shop assistants etc...) - do you accept any verbal abuse from a member of the public when you are just doing your job.

eg... bus is late cos traffic is bad- not caused by you. Or.... they maintain that the there is no place to seat in a busy coffee shop etc.

There just seems to be a more tendency of the public letting fly these days and they seem to think that they have a right to speak to an employee as they like even though its not the fault of the employee.

Has happened to me a few times and I have just grovelled and apologized profusely for the same of the company. But now I am in my mid-fifties - I am finding it harder to hold back when some 20++ yr old starts listing off her rights. Or even mentioning going to local paper / radio to complain etc....

Feel that I am going to let rip soon at the next person who abuses me ....

Kill them with kindness, wrecks their head !!

SkinnyBuddha

I use to work for a large ISP in their tech call centre.First bit of abuse I'd tell them to learn some manners and then call back in.

So no.

Renegade Mechanic

Rip away, people are gone to trash lately...
I walked into a restaurant a ages ago to see a rather heavy set fella giving out stink to a person at the till, about waiting for a meal, but he was properly nasty. Words like "worthless" were being thrown about.

I sat down while this went on and he returned to his table. Next to mine.... Before my brain could call me a gob****e and tell me to shut up, I'd already quietly leaned over and got his attention.

'Jaysus, fair play to you, you didn't half ate him alive!' I said in a supportive tone, no sarcasm.

'Ah lad, it's unreal, if the food wasn't good, I'd be gone.'

'No wonder your such a fat ****'.

He just stared at me, completely shocked

'Stop atin' people, they're quite fattening. Mabye then you'll be able to climb stairs without fainting. I'm unemployed right now and have **** all in the bank, you can't sue me out of anything like you can him.'

All quiet, we were the only two who heard. He just got up, gave me a "**** on his shoe" appraisal (which in fairness, given the 161 Merc he sat into afterwards, I probably was...), and sat down at another table!

The wait was shocking though, I was 25 minutes waiting for a full Irish, the table edges were looking appealing...

reason vs religion

To customers, staff represent the company. They are not in a position to establish who was to blame. And if they are expected to address their complaints up the chain, it's not obvious that anyone is to blame below the CEO. So I do think it is part of the job to accept complaints. Naturally, if it's personally offensive or aggressive (and being curt or angry does not equate to aggression!), it's not acceptable. But usually, a sincere apology and explanation will be sufficient to placate the customer. That last is something the majority of workers in the Irish services industry seem unable to give.

Father Hernandez

Sufitzy wrote: »

Kill them with kindness, wrecks their head !!

+1. In the bar trade for years and years, kindness (hint of sarcasm) gets them.

Obviously if something is wrong you attend to it, but noone deserves to be treated like s**t when they're working and doing their best. Some things customers just don't see. (Kegs empty, ran out of particular starter/main course/alcoholic brand, etc which is not necessarily there fault)

If you're doing your best and something has happened beyond your control, never raise your voice, as kind as possible smile and nod; customers hate it. (That is if they are being a complete p***k about it)

Life's too short for that nonsense and a good boss will acknowledge the business doesn't need customers like that.

"Customer is always right except when they're wrong"

Conchir

Once I know neither myself nor my colleagues have done anything wrong or made a mistake, then absolutely not.

I worked in a summer job where you got a lot of very impatient people and people with a lot of (very wrong) ideas about how we should have been doing things. Explaining things very, very slowly and with an over the top level of kindness usually did the trick and got them to back down. I also knew that my manager, who was always there working too, wouldn't let anyone lay into the staff. It led to a pretty good atmosphere in the company, knowing everyone had each others backs.

FizzleSticks

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petrolcan

Used to work in a tool shop and a colleague who wasn't that bright received a call from a customer who let rip into him for not being able to immediately answer his query. I took over the call and told the customer that I will be hanging up immediately and should he wish to call back he needs to be more civil.

A few minutes pass and said customer calls back and immediately starts ranting. I informed said customer that if he didn't start talking in a more civil manner that I would be hanging up. I also informed the customer that we had his money and he hadn't yet had his goods.

Easy dealt with after that.

FizzleSticks

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petrolcan

FizzleSticks wrote: »

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Oh yes and way more fun too.

andekwarhola

Really couldn't handle it myself and would end up lashing out. I'd hate to be in a public facing role.

That said, if I had no choice but to do it to support your family and whatnot, I guess I'd have to.

FizzleSticks

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qo2cj1dsne8y4k

No, not at all. The first few times it happened I was so shocked I didn't do anything. Now though, no way. Do they think we need their cash that much? Get the fu k out. Please leave. Not leaving? Do I need to call the gardai? Someone's rude on the phone? "Karen, I am being civil to you. Please do not speak to me like that" and any explicitives thereafter the call is terminated.

Summer wind

I've had a few different jobs which involved working with the public. I was a supervisor and part time manager of a very busy petrol station for a few years. You would meet all kinds of people and we had lots of regulars that were lovely and we'd always have a laugh. Some others were a different story though. I've been behind the counter on the till during the morning rush and had men pulling up to the petrol pump and filling up their diesel car. Then they come into the shop shout at you from the door about what's happened and ask what are you going to do about it. Then you get women complaining they've filled their car and gotten diesel on their clothes.

The worst thing you can do is lose your own temper even though it can be very hard not to. People can be so rude and disrespectful but it's easier to keep a smile on your face take a deep breath and try and get them sorted as fast as possible.

intheclouds

Worked as a waitress and some nasty bint was shockingly rude to me and refused to pay for the food or my tip (was in the US).

Few days later I was behind her in the queue in Walmart and she was tearing strips off some cashier over something nonsensical.

I delighted in announcing, loudly, "OH, YOURE THE RUDE WOMAN WHO REFUSED TO PAY FOR HER MEAL WHERE I WORK A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO, WHY DONT YOU SHUT UP AND STOP BOTHERING PEOPLE YOU NASTY BINT".

The cashier looked absolutely thrilled.

pragmatic1

I used to work at a call centre and get abuse for basically the entire day. I could care less. Trying to get sales was much harder.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

pragmatic1 wrote: »

I could care less.

So it bothered you?

Goya

I don't do the "kill them with kindness" thing (although I know others find it highly effective) but what I do is: be extremely polite and helpful and informative but with a detached, firm, slightly cold tone - no way would I grovel. If they get personal/use abusive language I'll request them to discontinue doing so or I won't engage with them. Works for me.

Majority of people are fine but some folks are utterly deplorable to service providers and it's bullying. Obviously on the mild end of the scale but it's done to an easy target whom they know cannot defend themselves. **** that. Don't let anyone treat you that way. You can't abuse them back obviously but you don't have to grovel either.

TheIrishGrover

I've always said that everyone should work with the public at some stage. A person is fine. But People? Scum You'll never pull that "The customer is always right" or "I know my rights (Which they don't)" horsesh*t again.
If you say it in a group of people you can instantly spot who has and who hasn't worked with the public:

The people who have nod their heads slowly with a haunted look on their faces.

The people who haven't look confused "Why? People are fine. You'll always get one or two but so do we at our job"


You weren't there maaaaaaannnnnn!!!!! You don't know!!!!!

Robsweezie

3 strike policy

#1- ''I'm sorry you feel that way, I'll try to fix this for you''
#2 - ''please remain calm, can i ask you to please stop with the abusive language?, im trying to help''
#3 - ''now listen here you c#nt....'' *roll up sleeves*

Edups

No. I generally ask those people to leave as they aren't welcome.
When they asked for a manger he told them the same

It was kind of like this

Hammer89

I verbally abused a woman who worked in the chipper last month, over the phone mind you. When I ring a chipper for me and someone else, I stipulate, on two occasions, that the chips are to be put in separate bags. It's a minor, I know, but f*ck separating a bunch of chips when it comes. But this one night, they weren't in separate bags and I lost it. 'Dial those c*nts back,' I say to the person whose phone I used. I take the phone and speak quite fast. 'Hi. I just ordered a delivery but the chips weren't in separate bags. Can your man come back?' There's a pause. 'Do you want delivery or collection?' she responds. 'No, no,' I say. 'It's already here but I want you to take it back and give me separate bags. I said it twice during the original call.'

Again, I know it's a minor thing, but being ignored isn't nice. 'Sorry sir but the driver has gone home already,' she says after I tell her my address. 'F*ck sake,' I say. 'Sorry but that's unacceptable'. I turn into a 69-year-old retired man when I'm complaining about something. Plus, these mugs have a long history of ignoring things; like delivering a can of Fanta when you ordered a bottle of Club Orange, or the most annoying thing of all, ordering a plain burger and finding tomato, onions, lettuce, mayonnaise and an Easy Single underneath the meat. 'You people have a history of ignoring my order. Why is this?' Before she can answer I hang up; partially in frustration, but mainly embarrassment over the fact that I suggested there's an in-house conspiracy on behalf Liberos to ruin my dinner every so often.

Barry Badrinath

Hammer89 wrote: »

on behalf Liberos to ruin my dinner every so often.

Liberos always give me chips in seperate bags.

Im sound though.

Hammer89

Hammer89 wrote: »

I verbally abused a woman who worked in the chipper last month, over the phone mind you. When I ring a chipper for me and someone else, I stipulate, on two occasions, that the chips are to be put in separate bags. It's a minor, I know, but f*ck separating a bunch of chips when it comes. But this one night, they weren't in separate bags and I lost it. 'Dial those c*nts back,' I say to the person whose phone I used. I take the phone and speak quite fast. 'Hi. I just ordered a delivery but the chips weren't in separate bags. Can your man come back?' There's a pause. 'Do you want delivery or collection?' she responds. 'No, no,' I say. 'It's already here but I want you to take it back and give me separate bags. I said it twice during the original call.'

Again, I know it's a minor thing, but being ignored isn't nice. 'Sorry sir but the driver has gone home already,' she says after I tell her my address. 'F*ck sake,' I say. 'Sorry but that's unacceptable'. I turn into a 69-year-old retired man when I'm complaining about something. Plus, these mugs have a long history of ignoring things; like delivering a can of Fanta when you ordered a bottle of Club Orange, or the most annoying thing of all, ordering a plain burger and finding tomato, onions, lettuce, mayonnaise and an Easy Single underneath the meat. 'You people have a history of ignoring my order. Why is this?' Before she can answer I hang up; partially in frustration, but mainly embarrassment over the fact that I suggested there's an in-house conspiracy on behalf Liberos to ruin my dinner every so often.

Next time you order from them, I bet you'll get some free sauce.

HalloweenJack

In my job, I deal a lot with the public.

There are two types of complaints: ones that are my fault and ones that aren't. With the ones that aren't, I'll simply say they aren't my fault and I refuse to discuss it further. I don't care about threats of any sort. If it's not my fault, I'm not taking responsibility for it.

Hammer89

Candie wrote: »

Next time you order from them, I bet you'll get some free sauce.

There were a few chips in my bag of Italian pubes last time.

Robsweezie

Candie wrote:

Next time you order from them, I bet you'll get some free sauce.

He got very salty with them!

pragmatic1

LexieOnRale wrote: »

So it bothered you?

Yes. I was a blubbering mess most nights after work.

uck51js9zml2yt

Hammer89 wrote: »

I verbally abused a woman who worked in the chipper last month, over the phone mind you. When I ring a chipper for me and someone else, I stipulate, on two occasions, that the chips are to be put in separate bags. It's a minor, I know, but f*ck separating a bunch of chips when it comes. But this one night, they weren't in separate bags and I lost it. 'Dial those c*nts back,' I say to the person whose phone I used. I take the phone and speak quite fast. 'Hi. I just ordered a delivery but the chips weren't in separate bags. Can your man come back?' There's a pause. 'Do you want delivery or collection?' she responds. 'No, no,' I say. 'It's already here but I want you to take it back and give me separate bags. I said it twice during the original call.'

Again, I know it's a minor thing, but being ignored isn't nice. 'Sorry sir but the driver has gone home already,' she says after I tell her my address. 'F*ck sake,' I say. 'Sorry but that's unacceptable'. I turn into a 69-year-old retired man when I'm complaining about something. Plus, these mugs have a long history of ignoring things; like delivering a can of Fanta when you ordered a bottle of Club Orange, or the most annoying thing of all, ordering a plain burger and finding tomato, onions, lettuce, mayonnaise and an Easy Single underneath the meat. 'You people have a history of ignoring my order. Why is this?' Before she can answer I hang up; partially in frustration, but mainly embarrassment over the fact that I suggested there's an in-house conspiracy on behalf Liberos to ruin my dinner every so often.

Only one solution....stop ordering from them...they will probably be very grateful for your lack of custom.:D

Penny Tration

I kill them with kindness if they're just rude. Big smile, fake sympathy, the works.

If they curse or call me a name, I say "please don't speak to me like that, I'm being polite and expect the same in return." If they continue, I walk away from them and refuse to deal with them.


That said, the place I work at has mostly fantastic customers. We've got one lady who's always complaining but always comes in, so we just act super nice to her and ignore the complaints. Aside from that, we've never really had any bad customers in the time I've been there. Most are polite and chatty, or say very little at all.

hairyslug

I had developed think skin for it when I retail with the ability to laugh it off, I had 1 person throw a phone at me, had to get walked away from the shop before with security because someone threatened me. I had one woman, when declined a phone account ask why because she's not black or anything, that was the only time I retaliated and refuse to serve her afterwards.

My skin now is much thinner and I don't think I'd last a day in retail

I had a student job in a cinema, and often worked the dreaded Saturday morning kids club showing. Lots of parents would drop their kids off and pick them up after the showing. There was always a few who didn't bother to be there when the movie ended and you'd wind up minding the kids for anything up to an hour. This was after cleaning up after them (there was always puke. Always).

If you complained to the parents about minding the kids, you'd take your life in your hands. I was called every name under the sun for asking them to please pick their kids up on time, or accompany them if they were coming to the cinema.

I hated that job more than I hate brussels sprouts.

endofrainbow

Most people who deal with the public have at one stage or another been on the receiving end of verbal abuse.

Perhaps you need to grow a pair or accept that a front facing role maybe isn't for you.

NomadicGray

Hammer89 wrote: »

I verbally abused a woman who worked in the chipper last month, over the phone mind you. When I ring a chipper for me and someone else, I stipulate, on two occasions, that the chips are to be put in separate bags. It's a minor, I know, but f*ck separating a bunch of chips when it comes. But this one night, they weren't in separate bags and I lost it. 'Dial those c*nts back,' I say to the person whose phone I used. I take the phone and speak quite fast. 'Hi. I just ordered a delivery but the chips weren't in separate bags. Can your man come back?' There's a pause. 'Do you want delivery or collection?' she responds. 'No, no,' I say. 'It's already here but I want you to take it back and give me separate bags. I said it twice during the original call.'

Again, I know it's a minor thing, but being ignored isn't nice. 'Sorry sir but the driver has gone home already,' she says after I tell her my address. 'F*ck sake,' I say. 'Sorry but that's unacceptable'. I turn into a 69-year-old retired man when I'm complaining about something. Plus, these mugs have a long history of ignoring things; like delivering a can of Fanta when you ordered a bottle of Club Orange, or the most annoying thing of all, ordering a plain burger and finding tomato, onions, lettuce, mayonnaise and an Easy Single underneath the meat. 'You people have a history of ignoring my order. Why is this?' Before she can answer I hang up; partially in frustration, but mainly embarrassment over the fact that I suggested there's an in-house conspiracy on behalf Liberos to ruin my dinner every so often.

Grade A

Hammer89

NomadicGray wrote: »

Grade A

Well if they do insist on ignoring customers' request then they will get complaints I'm afraid - especially if that request was mentioned twice.

Timberrrrrrrr

Worked a s a doorman for 25 years, I always maintain I cannot be insulted anymore because no matter what someone says to me I have heard it/been called it a hundred times befire.

SusieBlue

Regardless of whether it's the fault of the company or just placating an irate customer over something that wasn't our fault, I would humour a bit of general giving out from a customer.

I've often been in a position myself where I'm not happy about a company policy etc and I appreciate their need to air their grievance.

However, after listening to their complaint/issue, sympathising, offering alternative options and apologising on behalf of the company etc., if they continue to push their point (insert 'I know my rights' type bollox) or be rude/personal I have no problem giving back what I'm getting.

My attitude is why should I be respectful to someone whose speaking to me in a disgusting manner? I realise I represent the company & am willing to accept a certain amount of stick but I also have respect for myself, as a person and as an employee, and will not tolerate it.

Respect is a two way street. My go-to response to rudeness is something like 'please sir, the manner in which your speaking to me is very aggressive and intimidating. I'm happy discuss this matter civilly but if your continue pursuing this tone of language with me I will call security & we can deal with your issue via phone/email when you've calmed down. I realise your upset but I will not be spoken to like that.' Normally worked a treat.

The laugh of it is that I'm way more inclined to help and go above and beyond to customers who are polite when airing their concerns, I feel more sorry for them so the guilt pushes me to do more. As soon as someone starts shouting at me I mentally shut down and just want them out of my face. I have no tolerance for it.

SusieBlue

endofrainbow wrote: »

Most people who deal with the public have at one stage or another been on the receiving end of verbal abuse.

Perhaps you need to grow a pair or accept that a front facing role maybe isn't for you.

Being in a customer facing role is not a free for all for the general public to let rip as much as they feel like.
A certain amount is to be expected and accepted but suggesting that they just need to deal with it or get a new job is unacceptable.
What's unacceptable is the attitude that you can speak to someone like a piece of crap just because you aren't happy about something.
Respect is a two way street, if more people aired their problems with a polite tone and manners there wouldn't be any problems on this front at all.

Goya

The "I know my rights"/"the customer is always right" stuff is hilarious. Both could not be more inaccurate.

The anger when the customer knows they're in the wrong and feels backed into a corner so they lash out (like the parents in the cinema example above) is laughable adult baby behaviour too.

That said, some assistants can be rude as hell too (but it's rare - vile customers are far more commonplace). We were blatantly ignored in a cafe today so we said it (politely) and they sorted out our order immediately.

pgj2015

Hammer89 wrote: »

I verbally abused a woman who worked in the chipper last month, over the phone mind you. When I ring a chipper for me and someone else, I stipulate, on two occasions, that the chips are to be put in separate bags. It's a minor, I know, but f*ck separating a bunch of chips when it comes. But this one night, they weren't in separate bags and I lost it. 'Dial those c*nts back,' I say to the person whose phone I used. I take the phone and speak quite fast. 'Hi. I just ordered a delivery but the chips weren't in separate bags. Can your man come back?' There's a pause. 'Do you want delivery or collection?' she responds. 'No, no,' I say. 'It's already here but I want you to take it back and give me separate bags. I said it twice during the original call.'

Again, I know it's a minor thing, but being ignored isn't nice. 'Sorry sir but the driver has gone home already,' she says after I tell her my address. 'F*ck sake,' I say. 'Sorry but that's unacceptable'. I turn into a 69-year-old retired man when I'm complaining about something. Plus, these mugs have a long history of ignoring things; like delivering a can of Fanta when you ordered a bottle of Club Orange, or the most annoying thing of all, ordering a plain burger and finding tomato, onions, lettuce, mayonnaise and an Easy Single underneath the meat. 'You people have a history of ignoring my order. Why is this?' Before she can answer I hang up; partially in frustration, but mainly embarrassment over the fact that I suggested there's an in-house conspiracy on behalf Liberos to ruin my dinner every so often.

This reminds me of the signs someone is a tosser thread, talk about first world problems.

Lackey

Hammer89 wrote: »

Well if they do insist on ignoring customers' request then they will get complaints I'm afraid - especially if that request was mentioned twice.

You had a couple of options here ..to do what u did or ring the next day, ask to speak to a manager, explain what has happened and ask that it doesn't happen again, and probably get some kind of good will gesture.

It makes me wonder sometimes what's going on in a persons life that they overreact by shouting swearing and throwing stuff...but mostly it doesn't touch me cause my family are worth it
And at the end of the day I go home to them and be happy but assholes will probably never be happy
And when it does get to me, well I go to my friends and family then too.
Oh and No those aren't your rights no matter how much you scream, swear and even throw stuff at me.

padd b1975

I pick a spot on their forehead and just stare at it with a hint of a smirk.

They freak themselves out trying to work out if I'm staring at them, there's a mark there or I'm just cross-eyed.

RayM

I used to get into trouble for saying "you're welcome" when customers didn't say "thank you".

Goya

endofrainbow wrote: »

Most people who deal with the public have at one stage or another been on the receiving end of verbal abuse.

That is correct.

Perhaps you need to grow a pair or accept that a front facing role maybe isn't for you.

I've a better idea - aggrieved customers (often through their own fault or because of something that is standard and not poor customer service) not acting the **** to people who are not to blame.

People here do have a pair - not accepting verbal abuse from customers is not a sign of needing to grow a pair. Surely not being prepared to take that crap is a sign of growing a pair.

Ted111

I get down on the ground and curl up in a ball and start crying.

R.D. aka MR.D

I left a job a few months ago because apparently taking abuse was 'part of my role'. I'm in a new place now and any hint of abuse and they are out on their ear.

To be honest, the kind of people who are rude to people on the phone or in a shop must have something seriously wrong with them that they feel so entitled to treat another human being so poorly. That's the way I get through it, imagine what a sad little life they have to have to do that and be okay with themselves.

Didas

People who abuse staff like that are beyond cowardly. They know that a waiter, cashier or call centre won't tell them to go **** themselves, so they feel safe letting rip on them. I'd imagine they're the type of people who would cower away from any type of confrontation where they expect the other person to stand up to them.

Penny Tration

tonygun wrote: »

People who abuse staff like that are beyond cowardly. They know that a waiter, cashier or call centre won't tell them to go **** themselves, so they feel safe letting rip on them. I'd imagine they're the type of people who would cower away from any type of confrontation where they expect the other person to stand up to them.

Pretty much this.

A great way of sussing out a potential boyfriend/girlfriend is to bring them for coffee or to dinner, and see how they treat the staff.

Conor Bourke

I'm a community nurse, thankfully don't get too much aggro at work but now and again things can flare up. Very often it's nothing more than a manifestation of the persons grief and I am the unfortunate target. All I can do is keep calm, ask them politely not to speak to me like that and then get the flip out of there if things don't calm down. Not much else I can do about it.

Hammer89

Lackey wrote: »

And when it does get to me, well I go to my friends and family then too.

In other words, you bore the hole off innocent people who don't care, rather than be an "asshole" and complain directly to the employee you're frustrated with. That's a bit selfish on your part in my view.

Why is this chipper woman being perceived as some sort of saint by the way? She ignored a customer twice. Actually, she's got my order wrong on a number of occasions and perhaps enough was enough.