Advice

jjll

16 year old going out with a boy in care. She walked out last night when she was grounded and stayed out. Should i speak to the carer mother

looksee

This is a bit vague, but on what you have said, no, this is your problem (the mother of the 16 year old?). The boyfriend (his being in care is irrelevant here) may not have known she should not have been out, and really it is not his problem.

retro:electro

Why feel the need to add that this boy "is in care". And no, it's your issue, speak to your daughter.

lawred2

jjll wrote: »

16 year old going out with a boy in care. She walked out last night when she was grounded and stayed out. Should i speak to the carer mother

She's you're daughter. That means it's your problem.

Why would you involve the boy's mother?

Penny Tration

Your daughter disobeyed you. That's not the fault of the boy, so leave him and his mother out of it.


I gather you don't approve of him because why else would you mention him being in care? If that's the case, that's tough tbh. It's up to your daughter to choose who she dates.


Deal with her disobedience with her, not with him.

jjll

Advice she just walks out when grounded

Big Bag of Chips

Well then obviously grounding her is not an appropriate punishment for whatever it is she did. At 16 she's big enough to walk out of the house of she wants, so you'll find it difficult to physically stop her.

Time to find a different way of communicating with her.

Taltos

Mod Note
OP - you're going to give a bit more context than throwaway one liners.
Is this your daughter, what's the background etc

Ursus Horribilis

If your communication style in real life is anything like it is here, then that's something you should be mindful of when talking to your daughter(?). Being abrupt and unclear isn't going to help anyone.

Sound Bite

What is your relationship with person?

Your posting history suggests you are 19 girl on some threads but a married man on others?!

WhoWhatWhere

If you're going to ask for help you'll need to be clearer, what you're saying is basically, boy in care, daugter 16, walked out when grounded... what is anyone supposed to pull from that??

jjll

WhoWhatWhere wrote: »

If you're going to ask for help you'll need to be clearer, what you're saying is basically, boy in care, daugter 16, walked out when grounded... what is anyone supposed to pull from that??

My oldest daughter was taken into care because she was going out and having trouble with the family of who the daughter now is going out with. He is advising her to say i want to go into care and telling her to say things to teachers to get it reported

jjll

Sound Bite wrote: »

What is your relationship with person?

Your posting history suggests you are 19 girl on some threads but a married man on others?!

Eh 19 year old!!!!!!!

Wesser

You are 19 and your daughter is 16?

Meauldsegosha

jjll wrote: »

My oldest daughter was taken into care because she was going out and having trouble with the family of who the daughter now is going out with. He is advising her to say i want to go into care and telling her to say things to teachers to get it reported

I'm sorry jjll but your posts are confusing and some what contradictory. You said your daughter walked out last night after being grounded. You then say your daughter is in care then you say her boyfriend is advising her to say she wants to go into care.

I don't think anyone will be able to advise you until the facts are clear.

Wesser

If your question is.... How do I discipline a sixteen year old, how do I enforce a rule... How do I make her do what I tell her......

Well disciplining a sixteen year old is very hard even in the best of circumstances but by the age of sixteen they should have learnt to respect you because you have been disciplining them since they are an infant. So discipline at this age is built in a background of previous patenting practices. Another technique might be good communication of the reasons why something is the way it is ... Or maybe Negotiating for some privilege in the future if you do X it Y now....

Penny Tration

Guys, I THINK what OP is saying is:

Their eldest daughter was taken into care, and it involved this boy's family.


Her OTHER daughter is now dating said boy, and the boy is convincing the second daughter to ALSO go into care.

jjll

Forget it

WhoWhatWhere

Penny Tration wrote: »

Guys, I THINK what OP is saying is:

Their eldest daughter was taken into care, and it involved this boy's family.


Her OTHER daughter is now saying said boy, and the boy is convincing the second daughter to ALSO go into care.

Well then you need to speak with social services, this isn't something to get on boards about.

DoozerT6

OP in fairness, looking at your post history your posts range from two words to two sentences long. Some things need more explanation than that. What you have said on this thread may make perfect sense to you but clearly it doesn't make any sense to the people here on Boards.

From what I gather you need to speak first to your daughter(s?), and secondly have a very strong word or two with whoever this guy is.

WhoWhatWhere

To me though it sounds like this kid thinks if she's taken into care they can then live together in the same place... which is wrong

Taltos

jjll wrote: »

Forget it

Mod Note
Thread closed, after requesting greater context it appears the OP is not up for the advice offered on the basis of the issue as presented so taking the above as a request to close this thread we're obliging.