Stuck in a bad situation due to depression

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I've had a miserable year due to being diagnosed with depression back in March which was absolutely brutal. I've been seeing a therapist, taking anti-depressants and trying to do everything I can to just keep going.

The problem is that I run a small business by myself and it's taken a hit this year as I wasn't in any state to put in a lot of work. I did the bare minimum to keep it going but my income is way down and my savings have just taken a big hit.

I'm 30, I live an hour away from my family and I love where I live. I live alone in an apartment that I am so happy in but I know that I'm in danger of losing it and having to move back home to save money which would break my heart and feel like a huge backwards step.

For the last month or so I've been back to work properly and I'm trying to make things happen, it's just been slow but I'm hoping Christmas will be better. It's just not happening fast enough and I'm scared that I'll run out of money.

I don't think I'm over this depression even though I've been on medicine for 7 months so I'm going to go back to my doctor for help as soon as possible because I need to be able to cope with this pressure and something isn't right.
My family are very supportive and we get along well but I hate the thoughts of losing my apartment and having to go home. It would be so demoralising and there is a shortage of places to rent so I know that when it comes time to move out again it would be a lot harder to find somewhere and more expensive.

I've thought about asking my landlord/property company if I can sublet the place for just a few months but I don't know if they would allow that. That would give me time to breathe and save while still being able to come back when I'm doing better. I don't know if that's even legal or possible, though.

Maybe I'm missing something, I don't know. I just feel awful and like I'm barely coping and trying to keep my head above water with both the health issues and money stuff.

Galbin

Are you renting the apartment or do you own it? My brother works in finance and in his experience the banks take years and years to repossess a house. I am just wondering if you could re-negotiate a payment plan with the bank.

LegacyUser

Galbin wrote: »

Are you renting the apartment or do you own it? My brother works in finance and in his experience the banks take years and years to repossess a house. I am just wondering if you could re-negotiate a payment plan with the bank.

I'm renting it so I'd have to apply for permission to sublet I think, if that's even an option.

BetsyEllen

lola8j wrote: »

I'm renting it so I'd have to apply for permission to sublet I think, if that's even an option.

Of course it's an option, you don't know until you ask!
The LL would probably rather this than have you move out, have to re-advertise etc.

Is it a one bed?

LegacyUser

BetsyEllen wrote: »

Of course it's an option, you don't know until you ask!
The LL would probably rather this than have you move out, have to re-advertise etc.

Is it a one bed?

It's a two bedroom apartment. I'm going to go and ask (very nicely) today to see if they'll allow it. The building is in demand and they could easily say no and have someone else take it very quickly (and charge them more as my rent is frozen for another while). But I'm hoping they'll be nice about it and I can have that as my main back up plan.

L.Jenkins

lola8j wrote: »

Hi all,

I've had a miserable year due to being diagnosed with depression back in March which was absolutely brutal. I've been seeing a therapist, taking anti-depressants and trying to do everything I can to just keep going.

The problem is that I run a small business by myself and it's taken a hit this year as I wasn't in any state to put in a lot of work. I did the bare minimum to keep it going but my income is way down and my savings have just taken a big hit.

Can anyone help you with the Business? Family or friends?

My family are very supportive and we get along well but I hate the thoughts of losing my apartment and having to go home. It would be so demoralising and there is a shortage of places to rent so I know that when it comes time to move out again it would be a lot harder to find somewhere and more expensive.

It's a great positive that you have that support. Don't look at it as a bad thing. I understand you'd like to keep your apartment, but if it's a point of stress, then try not to dwell on it until you're in a better place mentally and financially.

I've thought about asking my landlord/property company if I can sublet the place for just a few months but I don't know if they would allow that. That would give me time to breathe and save while still being able to come back when I'm doing better. I don't know if that's even legal or possible, though.

There's no harm in asking. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Maybe I'm missing something, I don't know. I just feel awful and like I'm barely coping and trying to keep my head above water with both the health issues and money stuff.

At the end of the day, your health and well being is important above all else.

Lavinia

Perhaps since it is a two bed apt ask them if they would allow you to share it eg to rent one room (while you staying in the other).
not sure if that is the option for you but if your LL is happy enough with you he may be willing to trust you on that one.

santana75

Sometimes you need to take a step back to take a step forward. Sounds like you were and kind of still are, in distress. You said it yourself, something isnt right and in the interest of self care, you need to look after yourself, even if that means moving back in with your folks. You can only heal when you have given yourself the breathing space to do so. Propping yourself up on meds is not a long term solution, if you dont face the core issue and allow yourself to heal, at some point the wheels will come off in spectacular fashion. Deal with getting a new place when that time comes, you'll handle it because by that stage you'll be way better able to deal with stuff because you'll have given yourself the chance to heal and recover from whatever ails you.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice, everyone.

I've decided after a very tough week to stick it out here until Christmas and then to put it up on AirBnb. I can move up and down from home (as I can work from there) whenever someone is staying here which would feel a bit better than moving home with no deadline.
The place is very nice and I should have no problem getting enough business off it to cover my rent or maybe more, even after tax.

I didn't consider renting out the other room as it wouldn't be worth the hassle just to cut rent in half. I think I need to be at home for a bit for a mental break from everything.

I feel better having a plan but still awful about running through the money that I worked so hard to save last year. I know it's not my fault that I was sick but I feel so useless and unable to handle any kind of stress.

I feel like I'm doing everything that I can from seeing a therapist, my GP, taking medicine for both depression and anxiety for this whole year but I'm still struggling to the point where I need so much support and can barely handle the smallest bit of stress.