Want to leave job, feeling gulity about it

LegacyUser

Hi there, I have a number of issues at work not counting internships its my first proper office job since finishing up at college in a computer science degree, I've been there just about 9 months.

I guess most my problems were only minor ones at first nothing that would warrant leaving, such as I find the work very mundane and boring, and I don't feel like I'm really learning anything of value, and some people I don't like there, not great stuff but no reason to be leaving either, despite all that though I've always given 100% effort and felt I did a very good job.

Anyway after 6 months my manager extended my probation period 3 months, which I honestly felt was unwarranted as the manager is in another office most the time and only around once a week, we had performance meetings before that and it was always just keep it, I of course asked for a meeting about the extension the reason was he felt I wasn't meeting expectations.

After that and things started getting sour for me, they relocated so I have a pretty long commute, they started taking responsibilities away from me, in particular tasks I really enjoyed doing, micromanaging everything I do and honestly my head has kind of dropped at this stage and I've just stopped caring I'm just going through the motions now doing my work. Also I suspect if I don't end up going myself I'll probably be left go anyway.

I already had 2 interviews lined up but I couldn't attend due to needing to give 4 weeks notice in advance of taking a holiday so I've decided to just leave and find something I want from there. The problem being I feel really guilty about leaving and can't seem to just go and do it I feel like I'll be leaving everybody down because I do actually like a number of my colleagues, I also worry about leaving after 9 months giving me a bad reputation.

Rant over, I appreciate any advice!

zoobizoo

I've been there.

Or I was until I got let go from a job many years ago.

The company was downsizing and were letting half the staff go - I had been there three months!

Business is business and many don't have an issue letting people go when they have to.

You will be replaced in time and your work colleagues, unless you're proper pals with them, will become a distant memory.

Find another job first though if you can. Or take sick days to do interviews.

Or wait it out til you reach the 12 month period.

BonnieSituation

zoobizoo wrote: »

I've been there.

Or I was until I got let go from a job many years ago.

The company was downsizing and were letting half the staff go - I had been there three months!

Business is business and many don't have an issue letting people go when they have to.

You will be replaced in time and your work colleagues, unless you're proper pals with them, will become a distant memory.

Find another job first though if you can. Or take sick days to do interviews.

Or wait it out til you reach the 12 month period.

As the bolded above. Don't dream of leaving the job until you have something lined up. Whilst realisitically you may have no issue finding another best to play it safe. Time to start thinking of yourself and what you want out of a job.

Misguided loyalty is often an issue in these situations. Everyone is replaceable so don't feel like you are putting them out especially as they don't seem to value you very much.

My advice, get the flock out of town to something you want to do and to somewhere that you'll be valued. You'll feel all the better for it in no time and this place will be a distant memory.

BonnieSituation

BonnieSituation wrote: »

Don't dream of leaving the job until you have something lined up. ...
Misguided loyalty is often an issue in these situations. Everyone is replaceable so don't feel like you are putting them out especially as they don't seem to value you very much....go somewhere that you'll be valued. You'll feel all the better for it in no time

Lots of good advice there. If you can stick it to the 12 month mark do, will stand to you just in case next job doesn't work out. But with notice period, any holidays accrued and the longer recruiting cycles trending, that might happen naturally. Be aware that many (predominantly multinational) companies have a culture designed to promote feelings of loyalty and belonging...

GalwayGrrrrrl

I agree that you should stay in your job but take sick days for interviews if need be. Use any contacts you have made in the last 9 months to help you find something suitable. Try to keep positive so you can get a good reference from your current role. Don't feel guilty!

runawaybishop

Taking sick leave for interviews in that situation would be a fast way to get fired if they find out. How would the op be fixed for a reference when they twig what all the absences were for when they get a call to provide a reference, and what do you think they will say?

BonnieSituation

runawaybishop wrote: »

Taking sick leave for interviews in that situation would be a fast way to get fired if they find out. How would the op be fixed for a reference when they twig what all the absences were for when they get a call to provide a reference, and what do you think they will say?

Feck all knowing how references work usually.

ligerdub

I'd imagine that the majority of people have pulled a fast one in terms of attending interviews while not on annual leave.

This craic of 4 weeks notice for any sort of annual leave.....well that policy is inviting the sick day interview if you ask me.

Find something new my friend, and best of luck. Do what you need to do to get a new gig.

BonnieSituation

ligerdub wrote: »

I'd imagine that the majority of people have pulled a fast one in terms of attending interviews while not on annual leave.

This craic of 4 weeks notice for any sort of annual leave.....well that policy is inviting the sick day interview if you ask me.

Find something new my friend, and best of luck. Do what you need to do to get a new gig.

Yup. Agree with this 100%

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the comments certainly a lot of good advice there that I'll try to take on board, I do want to leave whether its tomorrow or 3 months staying a bit longer honestly wouldn't bother me to much knowing that it would be over in the near future.

But another thing that bothers me is this extended probation, for one reason or another this manager just doesn't like me why I'll never know but there's not a lot I can do about that. The problem here is that period is finished in about 3-4 weeks and I only see that playing out 2 ways it gets extended again which I guess could play into my hands or what I feel is more likely I'll be left go.

If that's the case I feel I may be better off to leave myself and hand in a notice before that date and leave gracefully, that way I can maybe at least get a good reference before I leave and with a bit of luck be in a new position relatively quickly, if they get rid of me themselves then a good reference is probably a lot less unlikely

GalwayGrrrrrl

If you think you might need to claim dole money you are better to wait until you are let go. If you leave of your own accord there is a waiting period for dole payment (think it's 9 weeks) but if you lose your job you can claim straight away. Hopefully it won't come to that but it's good to check this just in case.

ligerdub

Given the litigious nature of these things I'm not sure you can get a bad reference these days. You might be better off waiting and seeing on that one (if you can).