Asking a woman out!

Mr Arrior

Okay theres this woman that I have worked with a few summers ago that I really liked.

We are still in contact through the odd Snapchat interaction.
I would love to ask her out but I get the feeling that she isn't interested. Does the fact that she isn't the most talkative online mean she's not insterested?

Just like opinions on how to look at this.

Thanks

eeguy

Mr Arrior wrote: »

Okay theres this woman that I have worked with a few summers ago that I really liked.

We are still in contact through the odd Snapchat interaction.
I would love to ask her out but I get the feeling that she isn't interested. Does the fact that she isn't the most talkative online mean she's not insterested?

Just like opinions on how to look at this.

Thanks

Just ask her out for a drink.

You've nothing to lose. If she says yes then you're golden. If no, then maybe you'll stop your snapchat friendship, but at least you'll know.

TBH if you're in contact there's a good chance she's interested.

LegacyUser

Look, you won't ever know if she wants to go out on a date with her unless you pick up the phone or use whatever medium you like, and just ask her out. Do it soon, before you have made this any bigger in your head. It's amazing the 'what ifs' people come up with....you want to go out with her, then ASK her.
The worst that can happen is that she can say no. And you will have your answer. Problem sorted. No need to sit on the fence any longer....just do it.

Mr Arrior

Thanks for the replies. I know there is no way of knowing unless I ask her out but should I still go ahead if I get the impression she'll say no. It'll make things a little awkward.

Saipanne

I disagree with the others. I think women are pretty good at making their intentions known. Does she seem interested to you? Does she initiate contact a lot? Does she flirt with you?

Mr Arrior

Saipanne wrote: »

I disagree with the others. I think women are pretty good at making their intentions known. Does she seem interested to you? Does she initiate contact a lot? Does she flirt with you?

I agree with you. She doesn't initiate contact but she is a little flirty when we see each other (However, I am awful at telling if women are flirting ha)
Honestly, I don't think she's interested but I was wondering if asking her out may make her look at me in a different way.

BetsyEllen

Why exactly do you think she'll say no?

Edit:
Sorry, I posted that whilst you were posting the above.
I wouldn't take the not initiating contact as not being interested.
I rarely initiate contact with someone I like as I'm scared of rejection! So she could just be a little shy or wary.

Mr Arrior

BetsyEllen wrote: »

Why exactly do you think she'll say no?

I've got a lot of No's from asking women out in the past which doesn't help but I do know that has nothing to do with her. Im 22 and she's 19. I'm not sure if she's looking for a relationship either.

BetsyEllen

The way I look at it, if you were great friends with a decent friendship to lose then I'd maybe say don't ask her out.

But it's not like you will be losing anything by being rejected, just a few less snap chats in your life!

So why not, go for it.

Mr Arrior

BetsyEllen wrote: »

The way I look at it, if you were great friends with a decent friendship to lose then I'd maybe say don't ask her out.

But it's not like you will be losing anything by being rejected, just a few less snap chats in your life!

So why not, go for it.

That is true. It will stop me from wondering as well. Thank you.

BetsyEllen

Good luck!

Mr Arrior

Tbh Im a romantic so im thinking of different ways of asking her out. Probably not ideal ha. Tbh tho the thought of face to face is terrifying.

BetsyEllen

If you're only in contact via Snapchat then asking her out could be difficult.

Are you friends on Facebook?
If so I would initiate a conversation on there via messenger and then bring up the subject of going out sometime.

KikiDee

Hey OP,

Don't worry about the way you ask her out. You could put too much thought into it and run yourself ragged over it. Focus on building your courage up to ask her. Send her a little snap and ask her if she fancies going for a drink some night.

Let us know how you get on, whatever you decide

eeguy

Mr Arrior wrote: »

Tbh Im a romantic so im thinking of different ways of asking her out. Probably not ideal ha. Tbh tho the thought of face to face is terrifying.

Just ask her out for a drink. No pressure, no obligation, somewhere that's convenient for you both, quiet and where you're guaranteed to get a seat. Just a friendly drink and see how things go from there.

njs030

BetsyEllen wrote: »

If you're only in contact via Snapchat then asking her out could be difficult.

Are you friends on Facebook?
If so I would initiate a conversation on there via messenger and then bring up the subject of going out sometime.

There's a chat section on snapchat!

shaddyyladdyy

Ask her out for a drink. sure what is the harm in it. There is many a time where in the past i have regretted not asking the person that i liked. There is no point wondering what if! and she might be delighted to get that message! i think just go with the flow of it all

GingerLily

She may be bored if waiting for you to ask her out which is why she doesn't initiate conversation. Ask her for a drink or a coffee, go from there and see what happens, good luck.

Mr Arrior

Thanks a million for all the replies. Very helpful. We're friends on facebook, intagram and Snapchat. So plenty of modums to ask her out. (No excuses ha) Im adamant I will do it but the thought is filling me with nerves.

MightyMandarin

Mr Arrior wrote: »

Thanks a million for all the replies. Very helpful. We're friends on facebook, intagram and Snapchat. So plenty of modums to ask her out. (No excuses ha) Im adamant I will do it but the thought is filling me with nerves.

Honestly as a lad who had so many missed opportunities with some great girls because of irrational fear just do it. I'd actually suggest asking her out to a park or somewhere outdoors rather than for a coffee or a drink as so many guys do that. Plus it's free and both of you have nothing to lose, other than a "snapchat relationship".

Mr Arrior

I'm sycing myself up here. This is the closest ive ever been to asking her out.

Joeseph Balls

Mr Arrior wrote: »

I'm sycing myself up here. This is the closest ive ever been to asking her out.

Go on, ask her would she like to meet for a drink or a coffee.
We're rooting for ya
Best of luck!

eeguy

MightyMandarin wrote: »

I'd actually suggest asking her out to a park or somewhere outdoors rather than for a coffee or a drink as so many guys do that. Plus it's free and both of you have nothing to lose, other than a "snapchat relationship".

If you have to meet early and the weather is good, then a walk is nice.

Unfortunately it's rarely good this time of year. At least with a pub you've got warm cozy surroundings, you're in a place that's built for chatting and if it all goes to Hell you can make your excuses and leave without much fuss.

Nothing worse than doing dinner on a first date and realising she's not for you when you're still on the starters.

Mr Arrior

Anyone any idea how to word it. Im asking cos its not worked out in the past?

Saipanne

Mr Arrior wrote: »

Anyone any idea how to word it. Im asking cos its not worked out in the past?

Just ask her to meet up, you don't have to show all your cards at once by declaring your undying love for her, just keep it simple. If she agrees then see it as a first step. Be patient.

Mr Arrior

Saipanne wrote: »

Just ask her to meet up, you don't have to show all your cards at once by declaring your undying love for her, just keep it simple. If she agrees then see it as a first step. Be patient.

Cool thanks.

Joeseph Balls

Mr Arrior wrote: »

Cool thanks.

Just keep it simple and cool, no need for a big speel.

Penny Tration

Be casual enough, no need to tell her you fancy the pants off of her. Just say 'hey Mary, how are you? I was wondering if you wanna grab a coffee or a drink with me next week if you're free? "

Mr Arrior

Sent it there and no good. She says she's seeing someone which im dubious about but can't blame her if shes not interested.

dee_mc

Good on you for taking the leap of faith and asking her out.
Take what she said at face value - you like and respect this girl so it's a bit unfair on both of you to assume she must be lying when she says she won't date you because she is seeing someone else.
The ball is in her court now, you've declared your interest but kept it casual, well done

Kankan14

Mr Arrior wrote: »

Sent it there and no good. She says she's seeing someone which im dubious about but can't blame her if shes not interested.

At least you have an answer bro.

Now you won't die wondering what if!

Mr Arrior

Thanks for all the help everyone. Can't say it doesn't sting a little, never had any luck with women but it's nice to know it's not a competition whereby ya win by having the most girlfriends. All I need is that special lady to come into my life someday.

LuckyLloyd

Fair play for taking the leap all the same. What you gain is certainty of where you stand and the ability to spend your time looking elsewhere. The more you take the leap, the less nerve racking it will become.

Mr Arrior

True. Have taken a few leaps recently though and no success, starts to weigh ya down. Glad I asked her out though.