mother shaves daughters head for bullying cancer sufferer

Xterminator

the story is here http://www.breakingnews.ie/discover/mum-shaves-daughters-hair-as-punishment-for-bullying-bald-cancer-patient-758001.html

the link contains a video of a mum shaving her daughter head. to sum up the back story her daughter was involved in bullying a bald cancer patient.now the daughter was what approx 15 years old?

bearing this in mind, i thought about this and i think its a proportionate and insightful response to the problem.

what you think of the mother's action.

abuse, borderline case or good decision?

valoren

So bully someone in order to prevent bullying, to punish bullying?

Ken.

It's reported elsewhere but the only link I can post is the daily mail. It says the video is over a year old.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3819263/Shocking-moment-mother-shaves-daughter-s-head-punishment-bullying-bald-cancer-patient.html?ito=social-facebook

"But an earlier version of the video, appearing more than a year earlier, said the younger woman was being punished for uploading nude photographs online. "

Tabnabs

I think they call it tough love. No "safe spaces" in that house!

irishgrover

personally I think that is very wrong and as above poster said, it is also a significant act of bullying.
If it was a case that the child was remorseful and a willing participant in the retribution then I guess I would be up for a debate on it's appropriateness...but given the extremely distressed nature of the child, I don't this that I could ever support this is being appropriate.

Whispered

It's like slapping a child for slapping. Or saying "what the fuk did I tell you about cursing!"

I can see why she might feel it's a good idea and fair play to her for trying to tackle the issue of her daughter bullying someone but it wouldn't be something I'd do.

Recording of and posting it online? Disgusting behaviour. Humiliating your child like that for likes and stupid back slapping comments. That, in my view, takes it to the next level and is abusive.

foggy_lad

I would have taken her phone, tablet laptop and make up and everything else the monster holds dear and given them to the person bullied.

No point doing anything like this head shaving if you're only doing it to put it onto Facepuke for likes and to get the witch some social media kudos.

VinLieger

TBH i think the more logical reaction would be forced unnecessary chemo but who am I to criticise such a well adjusted parent?

foggy_lad

ken wrote: »

It's reported elsewhere but the only link I can post is the daily mail. It says the video is over a year old.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3819263/Shocking-moment-mother-shaves-daughter-s-head-punishment-bullying-bald-cancer-patient.html?ito=social-facebook

"But an earlier version of the video, appearing more than a year earlier, said the younger woman was being punished for uploading nude photographs online. "

That must be the quietest clippers in the universe!!

It looks like she is pulling hair extensions off her head!

Wanderer78

Wouldn't be surprised if mammy is childless and child is mammyless. One sure way of fcuking up your relationship with your child. Humans are weird

ScumLord

It's only hair. Nothing helps a person appreciate anothers life like walking a mile in their shoes. I wouldn't see this as bullying, or even harsh.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

If this happened, the mother is no better than the child. No wonder the child's such a nasty little bastard if that's the kind of environment she grew up in.
I do wonder though, you see kid shaming online constantly disguised as "they did something bad and now they're being punished, look how well I parent?"
If they didn't have the motivation of likes and going viral, would they be as bothered? Clearly there wasn't much teaching right from wrong up until the hair incident. Just sounds like a scummy family, to be honest. Scummy behaviour from the kid, scummy behaviour from the parent.

silverharp

Christ on a bike, lucky she didn't offend an amputee

Turtyturd

What if the cancer sufferer was actually a little sh!t?

DublinWriter

Turtyturd wrote: »

What if the cancer sufferer was actually a little sh!t?

Well that would make it all OK then.

Samaris

Whatever about the punishment itself, putting it online was too far.

If the story is accurate (and yeah, I vaguely recall hair-cutting vids for a variety of things), okay, punishment more or less fits the crime, but that girl would have to go into school with that video doing the rounds and it's unlikely to be something she'd be allowed to forget for the rest of her school career.

Basically, the mother has turned her child from a bully into the bullied, and I doubt that will teach the kid anything.

Winterlong

Samaris wrote: »

Whatever about the punishment itself, putting it online was too far.
.

We cant let a bit of bad parenting get in the way of normal day to day attention seeking.

razorblunt

I think I've seen this video before claiming it was in response to something else the kid allegedly had done.
Either way it's a pretty shítty way of parenting and that's before you get into the fact there's a recording made and put up online.


Still not as bad as that viral image of toothpaste on a plate and the parent giving the kid a life lesson/chat.

Samaris

Winterlong wrote: »

We cant let a bit of bad parenting get in the way of normal day to day attention seeking.

I may not agree with head-shaving as a method of punishment, but I accept that a lot of people disagree with me on the topic of physical punishment. It's only in the last few decades that we have turned so strongly against it, and since I grew up in the period where it was dying out here, of course it seems strange to me. So, with my own background in mind, and without knowing who these people are, their background, whether physical chastisement is allowed or not in their culture (and I include western cultures in that), I'm going to avoid passing judgement on the punishment itself*.

However, I happen to think that plastering it all over the internet to follow that girl forever is absolutely beyond the pale.

*I do suspect that how much harm physical punishment does depends greatly on how common it is. Children will resent a punishment that no-one else gets, that's known as and called child abuse much more than children who know that all their friends will get a smack too if they do wrong, and so it doesn't seem unfair. It's the unfairness that kids really tend to be affected by. However, that's just my own opinion.

darkpagandeath

Click bait... Cant find a vid over 2 days old.

The kid is a chip off the old block, she obviously learnt how to bully at the hands of a master.

Anyone who's go-to solution to a problem is to totally humiliate the kid doesn't seem to have a lot of tools in the parenting arsenal. It's a shame reason seems to be the last option some people go for.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Fair play to that mother. Bullying destroys lives, that poor kid with cancer has enough crap to put up with, without having to worry about going to school and what some scumbag students are going to do to her today.

Kids get away with all sorts of crap and it's breathing a generation of selfish, delusional people. Some would suggest giving the child a hug and explaining that this is not nice. That little rip already knows it's not the right thing to do, but it makes her feel good, so she got what she deserved.

Leilani Mango Unicycle

Leilani Mango Unicycle wrote: »

Fair play to that mother. Bullying destroys lives, that poor kid with cancer has enough crap to put up with, without having to worry about going to school and what some scumbag students are going to do to her today.

Kids get away with all sorts of crap and it's breathing a generation of selfish, delusional people. Some would suggest giving the child a hug and explaining that this is not nice. That little rip already knows it's not the right thing to do, but it makes her feel good, so she got what she deserved.

It would be way more insightful, less likely to cause resentment, and more of a teachable moment to take the kid to a cancer ward, or better still, insist they redeem themselves by raising funds for cancer treatment as a punishment.

That kid learned how to bully, and we can see from whom.

ScumLord

Candie wrote: »

The kid is a chip off the old block, she obviously learnt how to bully at the hands of a master.

That's not obvious at all. Many kids with nice parents are pricks. They're often pricks because they get away with everything, there's literally nothing that can be done to stop them.

Anyone who's go-to solution to a problem is to totally humiliate the kid doesn't seem to have a lot of tools in the parenting arsenal. It's a shame reason seems to be the last option some people go for.

Reason often doesn't work on children, or teenagers, sometimes it doesn't work on adults. It takes decades to turn the human animal into a civilized human being, we're not born that way.

RustyNut

That "mother" should remember who is going to pick her nursing home. I hope it's aras Attracta.

Summer wind

I think this woman's action was completely over the top stupid and ridiculous. To put it online is a really horrible thing to do.

HensVassal

Candie wrote: »

The kid is a chip off the old block, she obviously learnt how to bully at the hands of a master.

Anyone who's go-to solution to a problem is to totally humiliate the kid doesn't seem to have a lot of tools in the parenting arsenal. It's a shame reason seems to be the last option some people go for.

Ohhh.....so what do you propose, that the daughter be given a medal and a new car? These bleeding-heart, loony-lefty libtards!!!!

HensVassal

Leilani Mango Unicycle wrote: »

Fair play to that mother. Bullying destroys lives, that poor kid with cancer has enough crap to put up with, without having to worry about going to school and what some scumbag students are going to do to her today.

Kids get away with all sorts of crap and it's breathing a generation of selfish, delusional people. Some would suggest giving the child a hug and explaining that this is not nice. That little rip already knows it's not the right thing to do, but it makes her feel good, so she got what she deserved.

How did I know that someone would trot out the usual hardman answer to opposition to excessive punishment, i.e. to sneer and suppose that the alternative is "a hug or counselling at a 5 star resort" or some other rubbish.

NEWSFLASH: The punishment for shoplifting is not one of two things...(a) being executed by lethal injection or (b) being given a hug and being told you're a good boy. But I understand it's a good way to insult people who don't subscribe to your worldview.

osarusan

Bleeding heart

Loony left

Libtard

Worldview


YES THAT'S WORDWANG.

HensVassal

Candie wrote: »

It would be way more insightful, less likely to cause resentment, and more of a teachable moment to take the kid to a cancer ward, or better still, insist they redeem themselves by raising funds for cancer treatment as a punishment.

That kid learned how to bully, and we can see from whom.

Hear hear!

And maybe seek out the victim and insist the daughter apologise and ask for forgiveness.

Your Face

Hitler

HensVassal

osarusan wrote: »

Bleeding heart

Loony left

Libtard

Worldview


YES THAT'S WORDWANG.

Sarcasm detector on the blink today osorusan?

osarusan

HensVassal wrote: »

Sarcasm detector on the blink today osorusan?

Ah shite...it may be...I'm saying nothing.

dont bother

this thread is just more proof of how soft and horribly PC Irish people have become. the stupid b!tch deserves to be severely battered for bullying anyone, let alone someone who is going through cancer. fvcking horrible little cvnt.

andekwarhola

It's over the top, especially to put it online.

The kid should be severely punished though. And made to apologize to her victim in front of her schoolmates. One other thing would be to make her do volunteer time with cancer patients too.

I'm pretty sanguine about the range of mad stuff - and my - young kids can get up to and I was certainly no angel but I would absolutely lose the plot if I found out my kids were bullying somebody.

That said, for every bunch of bad parents that react in a horrible way like that, there's another 'I'll talk it out with my little misunderstood angel' bunch that are equally as culpable when it comes to rearing child bullies.

ScumLord

andekwarhola wrote: »

It's over the top, especially to put it online.

The kid should be severely punished though. And made to apologize to her victim in front of her schoolmates. One other thing would be to make her do volunteer time with cancer patients too.

And how do you propose to make her do any of these things if she decides she doesn't want to?

andekwarhola

ScumLord wrote: »

And how do you propose to make her do any of these things if she decides she doesn't want to?

Depends on the kid?

Ground them. Withdraw privileges. Confiscate their stuff. Encourage good behaviour.

Bit old for smacking, I would say :pac:

To be fair, if you've reared a kid to 15 and you have a perpetual situation where they simply will not do what you tell them (as opposed to occasional, managed spats), something has gone wrong along the way.

Samaris

osarusan wrote: »

Ah shite...it may be...I'm saying nothing.

Tbh, I fell for it too. Poe's Law in action!

valoren

I wonder if the kid knows what cancer actually is?
I doubt it.
Those who look, appear different, in this case bald from chemo, are magnets for bullying especially with Kids.
And they can be cruel little bolloxs when they want to be but that punishment is extreme.

Seems like the apple didn't fall far from the tree here.

Samaris

At fifteen, she should be old enough to have a good idea. Younger than her have lived it, it'd be about time she learned if she was in a class with a teenager suffering from it.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Candie wrote: »

It would be way more insightful, less likely to cause resentment, and more of a teachable moment to take the kid to a cancer ward, or better still, insist they redeem themselves by raising funds for cancer treatment as a punishment.

That kid learned how to bully, and we can see from whom.

Yes absolutely agree with your first point. However, we are not sure from the story if this is how the mother normally behaves or if she is indeed a bully. Maybe this was a last resort and has tried everything.

I hate bullies with a passion...

jmayo

Maybe she was also sleeping with Germans ?

B.A._Baracus

We're only getting one view on this.
Sure we've heard the girl sent nude pictures and bullied the kid. But what about the cancer girl? What about her feelings?

What if she made a YouTube video about getting bullied. Even crying in the video (a lot have made such videos) Would so many here still feel sorry for the bully?

We're just seeing one aspect. The punishment dished out by a parent.

gctest50

andekwarhola wrote: »

Depends on the kid?

Ground them. Withdraw privileges. Confiscate their stuff. Encourage good behaviour.
............

Meh, just wait till the next time they've a cold or flu, then start putting Veet in their shampoo

Letree

Good punishment and fully deserved. The little brats hair will grow back.

HensVassal

valoren wrote: »

I wonder if the kid knows what cancer actually is?
I doubt it.
Those who look, appear different, in this case bald from chemo, are magnets for bullying especially with Kids.
And they can be cruel little bolloxs when they want to be but that punishment is extreme.

Seems like the apple didn't fall far from the tree here.

15 years old and not knowing what cancer is??
So she was never told not to smoke because it causes, uhmm, cancer?
She never did any biology in Science class?

Go out and ask any 9 year old what cancer is and they'll know, FFS, nevermind a teenager.

valoren

HensVassal wrote: »

15 years old and not knowing what cancer is??
So she was never told not to smoke because it causes, uhmm, cancer?
She never did any biology in Science class?

Go out and ask any 9 year old what cancer is and they'll know, FFS, nevermind a teenager.

Knowing a word is very different from understanding the meaning of a word.

Would reading them the riot act there about what the cancer patient was going through, the chemo, the pain in detail not be a more fitting punishment and not some humiliation for simply being ignorant?

HensVassal

valoren wrote: »

Knowing a word is very different from understanding the meaning of a word.

Would reading them the riot act there about what the cancer patient was going through, the chemo, the pain in detail not be a more fitting punishment and not some humiliation for simply being ignorant?

You're really reaching now.

She's FIFTEEN.

So she's watching the news with her parents when she's ooh....6 and the newscaster says "so and so has died from cancer", or her mother is talking to a neighbour about the granny or the aunt, or she's hanging out with her friends, one or more, one could presume, might have lost a relative, etc. etc.

Are you seriously trying to postulate that in 15 years of this kid's life the word "cancer" never came up and if it did she's never (unlike most kids) said "Mum, what's cancer?"

valoren

HensVassal wrote: »

You're really reaching now.

She's FIFTEEN.

So she's watching the news with her parents when she's ooh....6 and the newscaster says "so and so has died from cancer", or her mother is talking to a neighbour about the granny or the aunt, or she's hanging out with her friends, one or more, one could presume, might have lost a relative, etc. etc.

Are you seriously trying to postulate that in 15 years of this kid's life the word "cancer" never came up and if it did she's never (unlike most kids) said "Mum, what's cancer?"

Never said it was never mentioned in her life.

Well all I can say is that the 15 year old she was bullying certainly knows the meaning of the word cancer a LOT better than the 15 year old who bullied her presumably for simply having a bald head. When I was 15, I certainly didn't understand the true impact of the disease. I knew what it was but not the symptoms and the suffering. And I say meaning in terms of experiencing it, not the bully having a rudimentary understanding of the dictionary definition of cancer i.e. what Granny had.

Presumably she has heard of it countless times of course. But does she understand it is my point. Has she gained anything here by having her head shaved in retaliation for mocking a cancer patient? Has that taught her empathy? That it is wrong to mock someone who is living it. I would say not. This example is a bully bullying a bully and little more.

Duck Soup

Snopes has this video down as 'unproven'. As Ken pointed out near the beginning of the thread, the video had been circulated a year earlier with the claim that it showed a woman punishing her daughter for uploading nude pics of herself.

"The very same video had been circulated online well over a year earlier with nary a mention of cancer; rather, back then the clip was accompanied by the claim that the young woman had been punished with a head-shaving after her mother found naked pictures of her on Facebook."

http://www.snopes.com/mom-shaves-daughters-head/

Seeing as that version predates the cancer story by a year, I'd hazard a guess that, on balance of probabilities, mommy dearest was shaving the youngster's head for being a hussy. A slight recalibration of righteous outrage might be in order.

lertsnim

Bullying? It's a punishment.