Been a really bad friend

openup

I'm going to try and keep this breif but basically I've been a sh*tty friend to two peope and need advice on how to proceed.

I met A about 6 months ago, she'd just broken up with her bf (B) of almost 4 years. We clicked immediately. She told me that she had cheated on B once, just kissing, about 2 weeks before they broke up. I was the only person she told this to. He didn't know nor did her other friends. I eventually met B at a party and we hit it off. We started hanging out partly at A's request as she felt having a friend would help him get over her.
So last night B and I went for drinks. We had a good night just chatting but he got a little drunk talking about how he still loves A. It took me the best pat of a year to get over my ex so I'm happy to chat about it. But then he started saying " I know she cheated though. And I know you know." I tried to deny it but my face did that thing where it's just painfully obvious you're lying. He was so shocked and upset he really didn't have a clue.
So now I'm left in the position of having upset B when he didn't need to know, and betraying A's trust when I was the only one she trusted. I feel so ****ty. Do I tell her? B said he's not going to confront her but I don't know that I believe him. He was ok last night but text this morning to say he's really upset and feel like he wasted years of his live with her. I don't know what to do. I really didn't mean to tell! They were getting to the point where they could be civil and now I've messed that up!

sReq | uTeK

openup wrote: »

I'm going to try and keep this breif but basically I've been a sh*tty friend to two peope and need advice on how to proceed.

I met A about 6 months ago, she'd just broken up with her bf (B) of almost 4 years. We clicked immediately. She told me that she had cheated on B once, just kissing, about 2 weeks before they broke up. I was the only person she told this to. He didn't know nor did her other friends. I eventually met B at a party and we hit it off. We started hanging out partly at A's request as she felt having a friend would help him get over her.
So last night B and I went for drinks. We had a good night just chatting but he got a little drunk talking about how he still loves A. It took me the best pat of a year to get over my ex so I'm happy to chat about it. But then he started saying " I know she cheated though. And I know you know." I tried to deny it but my face did that thing where it's just painfully obvious you're lying. He was so shocked and upset he really didn't have a clue.
So now I'm left in the position of having upset B when he didn't need to know, and betraying A's trust when I was the only one she trusted. I feel so ****ty. Do I tell her? B said he's not going to confront her but I don't know that I believe him. He was ok last night but text this morning to say he's really upset and feel like he wasted years of his live with her. I don't know what to do. I really didn't mean to tell! They were getting to the point where they could be civil and now I've messed that up!

All sounds a bit weird to me...your "friend" asks you to hang out with her Ex....A sounds like she's trying to get rid of B and you happen to be someone that might fit the bill.

On a complete side note you did nothing wrong. You lied to B for A however you can't be held accountable for your body language.

Say nothing. I'd advise getting out of the middle of a break up that you shouldn't be near. You're effectively playing councillor to both parties and getting stress in return.

Big Bag of Chips

You only met her 6 months ago! You didn't even know her when she was going out with him.. then she introduces you to him to distract him. Then you and he start hanging out together? You'll probably get in trouble with her now for telling him. Although I don't know why he'd say "I know she cheated on me" if he didn't have an inkling, and you didn't even know her at the time. And why she told you "but no-one else".

It all sounds very teenage drama-rama!

Nothing you can do now, they will both react as they will. But the whole set up is a bit crazy and probably none of you will still be in contact in a year's time anyway. Either that or they'll kiss and make up, get back together and you'll be her chief bridesmaid!

gossamer

sReq | uTeK wrote: »

All sounds a bit weird to me...your friends asks you to hang out with her Ex....A sounds like she's trying to get rid of B and you happen to be someone that might fit the bill.

+1 on this.

I know a girl exactly like A, who also cheated on her boyfriend and broke up with him (never admitted to cheating on him, but he had an inkling). And to assuage her guilty conscience, went about setting him up with old friends/new friends/ cousins/ her cat/ you name it, all because she thought he needed a friend...hmm. Yeah OP, I wouldn't feel at all guilty tbh, you sound like a chess piece in her game. You haven't messed anything up, it's her own mess to sort out and take ownership of.