Too much too soon

mykillokneel

Hi,

Fairly simple problem really just need a bit of advice.

I've been dating a really nice girl about 6 weeks or so (she was away for a couple of these but we stayed in contact thru text). We've both admitted we like each other and are not seeing anyone else. I hope we'll become official soon but I'm wary she was cheated on in her last relationship (so was I) and don't want to rush things.
We were talking today and she mentioned her gym membership was up next month and was thinking of moving to a gym near work which coincidentally is my gym. I was thinking of buying her a voucher for the first 3 months just as a nice gesture. It's 175 euro for the record.

Would you see this as something nice to do or a bit much? If we stop dating for whatever reason the money isn't an issue but I wouldn't want her feeling she has to go out with me just for me buying something.

Thanks

eviltwin

Spending that much money on someone you've known a matter of weeks is madness.

dorlydoo

eviltwin wrote: »

Spending that much money on someone you've known a matter of weeks is madness.

I agree!

mykillokneel

eviltwin wrote: »

Spending that much money on someone you've known a matter of weeks is madness.

Thanks, the money isn't the issue as such, I'm more wondering if the gesture is a bit much?

dorlydoo

mykillokneel wrote: »

Thanks, the money isn't the issue as such, I'm more wondering if the gesture is a bit much?

It's a nice gesture in a longer relationship and even then it would normally be a gift for a birthday etc. but it's over the top for a six week rship I think. Buy a small gift like a lunch after the gym

amtc

Actually I think it's nice!

tara73

I also would say it's too much for the six week you see each other. you could put her in an awkward position, thinking she owes you something now. I don't know her, maybe she'll be delighted, myself I wouldn't like it too much because of the former named reason.

silverbolt

Yeah OP i'm with the general consensus on this one. ITs a bit much too soon.

mykillokneel

tara73 wrote: »

I also would say it's too much for the six week you see each other. you could put her in an awkward position, thinking she owes you something now. I don't know her, maybe she'll be delighted, myself I wouldn't like it too much because of the former named reason.

I think that's my main reason for being unsure, I wouldn't want her thinking she owes me something or then feels like she has to continue dating.
I don't think there's a danger of her thinking she's fat it was just conversation and her knowing i joined there.

Thanks for your input it probably is a bit much, and I don't want to risk frightening her off. I may just buy her a 50 euro credit there and leave it on file with her name and number if she does join in a month or so when time is up. I know the receptionist quite well so she's do this no problem and if we stop dating I'll just get a couple of personal sessions.

Thanks again

Saipanne

It's too much. She might feel pressured.

ted1

eviltwin wrote: »

Spending that much money on someone you've known a matter of weeks is madness.

It's all relative , some people consider that pocket change

pc7

I would think it too much, also what happens if the relationship doesn't work out could make your gym visits uncomfortable, its very very early days.

milli milli

mykillokneel wrote: »

I may just buy her a 50 euro credit there and leave it on file with her name and number if she does join in a month or so when time is up. n

I still think this is a bit much. Would you not wait til you're official before buying gifts like this?
I would feel under a lot of pressure if a guy that I was seeing bought me something like this. €50 may not be much to you, but it is a lot of money for most people.
I'm sure things will work out great for ye both, OP but I would rather have it official before this kind of thing.

Katgurl

Hmmmm.

It's a lovely gesture but... You're just spending money instead of buying a gift. And there's no actual reason for a gift. If she happened to mention she left her goggles behind and you bought her a new pair or something then that would be nice and thoughtful but I'd feel weird about someone paying for my membership.

You sound like a lovely guy and for me generosity is a gorgeous trait. I'm sure your lady is the same.

Mena

Don't think it's excessive at all. But then it's all about perception i guess. Only you are in a position to really be able to tell. Personally I'd do it.

mykillokneel

Hi, I've taken the majority of your thoughts on board and decided to let it be for now, I think her membership in her current gym is not up for another month or so and it might be better then if at all, we might be going out by then or not at all. I'm not loaded by any stretch so it's not like it's small change. I guess the thought was good at least, I get ideas for nice things all the time not just in relationships, just need to reign it in sometimes.

Lux23

If you want to spend that kind of money on her, buy her something prettier.

Like I do think it is a bit extravagant, but if you like her, why not?

tara73

or invite her to a romantic dinner instead, it's way better than handing out kind of pure money for no real reason.
the dinner has the romantic part and I don't know any woman, or even any person, men too:), who doesn't like to be invited for dinner in a nice reataurant. It shows real appreciation and respect.
It's completely different than buying an expensive gift. At least that's what I think.

GingerLily

I hate the gym membership voucher idea, it just seems creepy that your so hell bent on involving yourself in her gym membership.

shamrock2004

Why not invite her out for a meal instead? Or if things are still going really good by xmas, buy her something nice? I think covering partial cost of her gym membership is a bit of an odd gesture in this early stage. But I know how you are feeling at this stage, we've all been there. Hope things work out well