Rent for adult children returning to the family home.

livemusic4life

6 years ago I had an accident (spinal injuries) and moved home to my mum for her to help look after me. For the last 6 years it has just been the two of us. Mom is 70, so has her pension and a half rate carers allowance for looking after me. I get disability allowance - 188 euro. Of this, I give 100 euro to my mum, towards food and bills. 2 months ago my brother lost his home - long story, and moved into our spare room. He works full time. My mum does nearly everything for him , except his ironing. He does nothing to help. He moans like a teenager if he is asked to wash the windows or brush down the footpaths. He hands up 50 euro a week. He has a 17 year old daughter who he supports, but am I mean in thinking that 50 euro a week out of a full time job for a 45 year old is unreasonable?

Mint Sauce

livemusic4life wrote: »

6 years ago I had an accident (spinal injuries) and moved home to my mum for her to help look after me. For the last 6 years it has just been the two of us. Mom is 70, so has her pension and a half rate carers allowance for looking after me. I get disability allowance - 188 euro. Of this, I give 100 euro to my mum, towards food and bills. 2 months ago my brother lost his home - long story, and moved into our spare room. He works full time. My mum does nearly everything for him , except his ironing. He does nothing to help. He moans like a teenager if he is asked to wash the windows or brush down the footpaths. He hands up 50 euro a week. He has a 17 year old daughter who he supports, but am I mean in thinking that 50 euro a week out of a full time job for a 45 year old is unreasonable?

€50 is the absolute minimum. I was paying the equivalent in sterling and punts when living at home as 17/18/19 year old, and so did plenty of others I knew at that age and beyond.

Even if I go home now for the weekend or a few days, and get the shopping, I pay for it my self. Only fair if you are getting the benifit from home comforts, food, heating, etc.

topmanamillion

I think it's up to your mother whatever she feels is a reasonable rent.
But she's taking E100/week off you and E50 off your brother?
Thats not right. Either decrease your rent or increase his. If I was her I'd increase his.

Also the difficulty with getting him to do household chores should be met with a firm "your mother's elderly and you have a spinal injury, now get on with it or find another house with a maid for E50/week."

Skyfarm

maybe the annoyance is not the money , but the brother coming into your space and not treating the space as you would.

its not your role to interfere with a grown woman's arrangements about her house.

equally your brother shouldn't abuse the kindness shown,as a brother could you chat to him ? get a home help?

The_Conductor

Seriously though- whatever about the rent- your Mum is 70, shes no spring chicken- she deserves to be able to relax and take things easy at this stage in life- I'm sorry- having two demanding children at home at this stage in life- its not about the money- and I honestly think both of you should be ashamed of yourselves and be doing your utmost to remove yourselves from the family home, regardless of what it takes...........

This just seems so wrong to me.

livemusic4life

The_Conductor wrote: »

Seriously though- whatever about the rent- your Mum is 70, shes no spring chicken- she deserves to be able to relax and take things easy at this stage in life- I'm sorry- having two demanding children at home at this stage in life- its not about the money- and I honestly think both of you should be ashamed of yourselves and be doing your utmost to remove yourselves from the family home, regardless of what it takes...........

This just seems so wrong to me.

So you think I should put myself in a nursing home at 34?

The_Conductor

livemusic4life wrote: »

So you think I should put myself in a nursing home at 34?

Your Mum is 70. If she lives to be an average age (77 for women in Ireland)- you'd be putting yourself in a nursing home at 41 and/or reliant on your brother for assistance (and thats not going to end well).

Wholly aside from thinking of yourself- and even then, you're only thinking about the short term- surely your Mum deserves to be thought of too?

Who is going to look after her when she needs help in the near future?

You really need to think beyond whats good for you, right here, right now- you have your mother and her best interests at heart too- and indeed, if you're genuinely worried about ending up in a nursing home- surely you should be doing something to try and ensure its not what happens.........

I'm not trying to be mean to you- I'm trying to get you to think a little further- you have your poor mother in all this- with two sons at home and reliant on her- when she should be enjoying her twilight years. If your only alternate to your Mum is a nursing home- what the hell are you going to do when she is no longer in a position to be a carer for you?

Yes- being 34 and being in very poor health is a massive massive issue- believe you me- I've been there. However, tossing in the towel and relying on your elderly mother- as you are doing- is not a solution.

Your brother coming home and taking the piss- is just the icing on the cake.

woodchuck

It's really between your mother and your brother what he contributes financially. You have no idea what his finances are actually like either... you've completely brushed over the fact that he recently lost his home!! Just because he's working full time, doesn't mean he has money to burn. For all you know, you could have more disposable income than him. But again, that's between him and your mother. I'd keep your nose out of it.

antix80

You'll notice childhood dynamics at play here.

But frankly op, and I hope this resonates: it's none of your business whatsoever what she charges your brother. Dont upset your mother or create drama just because you have a childish view of fairness.

listermint

antix80 wrote: »

You'll notice childhood dynamics at play here.

But frankly op, and I hope this resonates: it's none of your business whatsoever what she charges your brother. Don't stir up upset your mother or create drama just because you have a childish view of fairness.

Childish....
Handing over double rent in comparison to a fully employed adult man.


LOL

antix80

listermint wrote: »

Childish....
Handing over double rent in comparison to a fully employed adult man.


LOL

Room rental, eur50.
Fulltime live in carer, eur100
They're not comparible situations.
There's nothing to suggest the woman needs the cash. So she can charge what she likes.

livemusic4life

The_Conductor wrote: »

Your Mum is 70. If she lives to be an average age (77 for women in Ireland)- you'd be putting yourself in a nursing home at 41 and/or reliant on your brother for assistance (and thats not going to end well).

Wholly aside from thinking of yourself- and even then, you're only thinking about the short term- surely your Mum deserves to be thought of too?

Who is going to look after her when she needs help in the near future?

You really need to think beyond whats good for you, right here, right now- you have your mother and her best interests at heart too- and indeed, if you're genuinely worried about ending up in a nursing home- surely you should be doing something to try and ensure its not what happens.........

I'm not trying to be mean to you- I'm trying to get you to think a little further- you have your poor mother in all this- with two sons at home and reliant on her- when she should be enjoying her twilight years. If your only alternate to your Mum is a nursing home- what the hell are you going to do when she is no longer in a position to be a carer for you?

Yes- being 34 and being in very poor health is a massive massive issue- believe you me- I've been there. However, tossing in the towel and relying on your elderly mother- as you are doing- is not a solution.

Your brother coming home and taking the piss- is just the icing on the cake.

I do everything in the house WITH my mother. Including us helping each other change beds - like we did yesterday. I do not sit around being waited on hand and foot. I do everything I can do that I can do sitting down. I give my mother as much help as she gives me. When my mother was knocked down two years ago, I cared for her solely. I crawled around on my hands and knees because of the pain, but I got everything done.

listermint

antix80 wrote: »

Room rental, eur50.
Fulltime live in carer, eur100
They're not comparible situations.
There's nothing to suggest the woman needs the cash. So she can charge what she likes.

Older brother taking liberties. Should cop on to himself

antix80

listermint wrote: »

Older brother taking liberties. Should cop on to himself

Maybe he's saving a deposit to get his own place so his mother is cutting him some slack?

Personally if i went through a bad patch and moved to my parents for 2 months i wouldn't expect to be gouged for rent.

As i said, op and her bro's situations aren't comparable.

livemusic4life

antix80 wrote: »

Maybe he's saving a deposit to get his own place so his mother is cutting him some slack?

Personally if i went through a bad patch and moved to my parents for 2 months i wouldn't expect to be gouged for rent.

As i said, op and her bro's situations aren't comparable.

My mother does indeed need the money and has asked him to help her with jobs around the house instead of paying more rent. He said he'd rather pay the extra money than help. But he hasn't paid more. My mum doesn't know how much she should ask for.

retro:electro

livemusic4life wrote: »

So you think I should put myself in a nursing home at 34?

Your mother isn't going to be around forever. What have you in place for yourself for when she dies? She is old, and from what you describe here isn't exactly living a stress free life. You need to make arrangements for yourself for when she is no longer around to take care of you.

livemusic4life

anna080 wrote: »

Your mother isn't going to be around forever. What have you in place for yourself for when she dies? She is old, and from what you describe here isn't exactly living a stress free life. You need to make arrangements for yourself for when she is no longer around to take care of you.

<Mod snip - Forbidden topic>

retro:electro

livemusic4life wrote: »

<Mod snip - Forbidden topic>

Nobody is mentioning a nursing home here only yourself.

antix80

livemusic4life wrote: »

My mother does indeed need the money and has asked him to help her with jobs around the house instead of paying more rent. He said he'd rather pay the extra money than help. But he hasn't paid more. My mum doesn't know how much she should ask for.

Well trust me on this, for the extra 20eur or so, it's nothing compared to the toxic environment you're threatening to whip up after only 2 months. Calm down and don't be childish. Your mother doesn't need it.

Ursus Horribilis

Why does it have to be a nursing home? There's home help out there and other options. I agree with what the others have said. You can't be solely reliant on your mother to take care of you. My parents are moving into their 70s and I can see with my own two eyes how they're becoming that bit more frail. God forbid if anything happened to me, I'd not want to have either of my parents be my carer at this stage of our lives.

retro:electro

I actually feel very sorry for your mother. Two (very) adult children living at home squabbling like teenagers over doing jobs and paying rent and antagonising one another. I think I grew out of that phase at 17. She doesn't need this at her age. She deserves to relax and enjoy the rest of her life, she has paid her dues.

Dial Hard

antix80 wrote:

Personally if i went through a bad patch and moved to my parents for 2 months i wouldn't expect to be gouged for rent.

A hundred quid a week is not gouging.

anna080 wrote:

She is old, and from what you describe here isn't exactly living a stress free life.

Ah here, 70 is not old, presuming the woman has no health issues. My dad is 70 and is still an FAI referee. My mam isn't far behind him and is President of her golf club this year. Both of them would laugh at anyone who considered them elderly.

OP, I get the impression that the disparity in both the money you both hand up and the level of housework you both do is the real issue here - not necessarily that you feel your mother is being taken advantage of.

You're all adults here - suggest a family meeting whereby the three of you sit down and agree a rent figure and a housework schedule that's fair on everyone.

I am, however, going to hazard a guess that you're female and your brother never had to lift a finger in the house while you were growing up. If that is the case, I think you're going to find it very difficult to change that dynamic now. It might be worth suggesting he pay for a cleaner for a few hours a week instead of raising his rent.

njs030

Ops mother is being paid €102 half rate carers allowance to look after op as well as the extra €100 op gives her, so it's actually over €200 vs €50 which is very unfair.

Has she asked your opinion op or are you getting involved off your own back?
If you've been asked or she's said she's under pressure maybe suggest she writes down bills, expenses etc and distributed them fairly and does the same with housework.
The above poster had a good idea - if he doesn't want to help out suggest he pays for a cleaner.

Tasden

notjustsweet wrote: »

Ops mother is being paid €102 half rate carers allowance to look after op as well as the extra €100 op gives her, so it's actually over €200 vs €50 which is very unfair.

Has she asked your opinion op or are you getting involved off your own back?
If you've been asked or she's said she's under pressure maybe suggest she writes down bills, expenses etc and distributed them fairly and does the same with housework.
The above poster had a good idea - if he doesn't want to help out suggest he pays for a cleaner.

She has applied for carers allowance for taking on the responsibility of being a carer. This is what she is being paid for, it is not the ops rent.
It is also not being paid by op out of ops pocket. So the two amounts are not comparable.

The op and their sibling have different circumstances too. It is up to the mother what she asks for financially, nobody else. She is a grown woman and she is entitled to do as she pleases in her own house at the end of the day. If op doesn't think it is fair then they can leave.

The brother may be taking the piss but it's up to the mother to put a stop to that, not op just because they are annoyed at having to pay more themselves.

The Raptor

Why don't you add 100+50 and pay €75 each?

njs030

Tasden wrote: »

She has applied for carers allowance for taking on the responsibility of being a carer. This is what she is being paid for, it is not the ops rent.
It is also not being paid by op out of ops pocket. So the two amounts are not comparable.

The op and their sibling have different circumstances too. It is up to the mother what she asks for financially, nobody else. She is a grown woman and she is entitled to do as she pleases in her own house at the end of the day. If op doesn't think it is fair then they can leave.

The brother may be taking the piss but it's up to the mother to put a stop to that, not op just because they are annoyed at having to pay more themselves.

They are comparable in that it's money she receives for having the op in her home.

As I implied in my post it's only ops business if she's being asked about it or her mother is making it known she's unhappy with the situation.
If the mother is happy and op is just complaining then it's none of her business I agree.

woodchuck

Look, it might not a fair situation, but we're not talking about 2 people in rented accommodation where all things have to be equal. They're living in their family home and it's up to the mother to decide who pays what!

Unless your mother is asking you for advice OP, I'd just leave it. You'll just come across as petty and ungrateful.

Ursus Horribilis

Here's something else to consider. You're disabled enough to have had to move home. You're apparently not capable of living independently on your own. So whether you like it or not, you're dependent on other people. It's your mother who's looking after you at the moment but she's not going to be around forever. Then what? Think long term on this. Now isn't the time to be falling out with anyone, especially when you might end up having to turn to them for help. Has your mother told you what her plans are for the house? Will she be leaving it to you both or what? If you fall out with your brother, you could find that he's less than sympathetic to your needs when the time comes to do something with the house.

Tasden

notjustsweet wrote: »

They are comparable in that it's money she receives for having the op in her home.

As I implied in my post it's only ops business if she's being asked about it or her mother is making it known she's unhappy with the situation.
If the mother is happy and op is just complaining then it's none of her business I agree.

It's not money for having her child in her home, it's money for providing care to the op. It's for the additional tasks involved in being a carer.
The other sibling is not in need of care and therefore no payment is made on his behalf.

The Raptor

Tasden wrote: »

It's not money for having her child in her home, it's money for providing care to the op. It's for the additional tasks involved in being a carer.
The other sibling is not in need of care and therefore no payment is made on his behalf.

The OP looks after his/her mother just as much as she helps them. They do things together.

The mother does everything for the brother, except ironing.

It is a completely unfair situation. My advice is pay half of 150, brother as well.

Tasden

The Raptor wrote: »

The OP looks after his/her mother just as much as she helps them. They do things together.

The mother does everything for the brother, except ironing.

It is a completely unfair situation. My advice is pay half of 150, brother as well.

That doesn't negate the fact that the mother is being paid carers allowance for being a carer to the op. It is not rent money or anything else. It is her allowance for taking on the role of carer to the op.

njs030

Tasden wrote: »

It's not money for having her child in her home, it's money for providing care to the op. It's for the additional tasks involved in being a carer.
The other sibling is not in need of care and therefore no payment is made on his behalf.

I'm aware of what carers allowance is being a carer myself, the fact is if op didn't live there she wouldn't get it. She gets it because she helps the op yes but it seems the op helps out too.
I'm moving away from this now as its nit picking.

Tasden

notjustsweet wrote: »

I'm aware of what carers allowance is being a carer myself, the fact is if op didn't live there she wouldn't get it. She gets it because she helps the op yes but it seems the op helps out too.
I'm moving away from this now as its nit picking.

So then you're aware that it is not rent money and therefore not comparable to the brothers rent amount. The carers allowance is entirely separate to either sons' rent.

TheAnalyst_

Rent for what? Is there mortgage costs that need to be covered? No.

It's ridiculous to demand rent from a family member using the family home temporarily.

The Raptor

Tasden wrote: »

That doesn't negate the fact that the mother is being paid carers allowance for being a carer to the op. It is not rent money or anything else. It is her allowance for taking on the role of carer to the op.

I didn't say it was rent money.

The mother is looking after two grown men, one needing more care than the other. The carer's allowance is for the mother looking after one of the brothers.

The brother paying extra shouldn't have to pay extra out if his own pocket because they are disabled. It was mentioned it was for bills and food. Bills and food shouldn't cost extra because you're disabled.

Paying half of 150 is fair, that is my opinion.

njs030

Tasden wrote: »

So then you're aware that it is not rent money and therefore not comparable to the brothers rent amount. The carers allowance is entirely separate to either sons' rent.

No one mentioned rent other than you.
Op said it was for food and bills.
Carers allowance is paid to help with the added expense of being a carer. That includes meds, food and extra bills

Tasden

notjustsweet wrote: »

No one mentioned rent other than you.
Op said it was for food and bills.
Carers allowance is paid to help with the added expense of being a carer. That includes meds, food and extra bills

You compared the amount the brother was paying to the amount the mother received from op, including carer's allowance which isn't from op. Whether you want to call it rent or anything else, the two payments are not comparable. I called it rent (as it is called in thread title) replace it with whatever term you wish.

You're proving my point though, the carer's allowance is paid for the additional costs associated with caring for someone with additional needs. The other brother doesn't have the same associated costs and therefore the additional amount from the carer's allowance is not applicable or relevant or comparable to the brothers payment

antix80

notjustsweet wrote: »

No one mentioned rent other than you.

Check the thread title.

IvoryTower

TheAnalyst_ wrote: »

Rent for what? Is there mortgage costs that need to be covered? No.

It's ridiculous to demand rent from a family member using the family home temporarily.

Unless my parents were loaded, I'd be embarrassed to not help out with the bills.

njs030

antix80 wrote: »

Check the thread title.

Oh for god's sake she specifically says it's for food and bills. OK I stand corrected she used the word rent. Your post was incredibly helpful though!

The entire point of what I said is that the mother is GAINING more than €200 a week from ops presence in her home and I suggested if, and only if op had been asked her opinion on her brothers payment amount she could mention this.

The nit picking about what it's called etc etc is of no help to the op and frankly makes me regret taking time out of my day to try and help someone so I'm out.

Tasden

notjustsweet wrote: »

Oh for god's sake she specifically says it's for food and bills. OK I stand corrected she used the word rent. Your post was incredibly helpful though!

The entire point of what I said is that the mother is GAINING more than €200 a week from ops presence in her home and I suggested if, and only if op had been asked her opinion on her brothers payment amount she could mention this.

The nit picking about what it's called etc etc is of no help to the op and frankly makes me regret taking time out of my day to try and help someone so I'm out.

You were the one to refer to the term rent being incorrect. And you're right it doesn't help op to nitpick.
Op I wouldn't suggest you bring up the money being "gained" because it isn't 200 euro gained for your mother. It is money coming in to offset additional costs of caring for someone. It is not gaining an additional 200 euro, it is 200 being paid to offset additional costs. Costs that are not applicable to your brother. It's the whole point of the allowance in the first place so not comparable, and it is not being paid from your pocket so is even more irrelevant to what your brother pays from his.

The Raptor

Tasden wrote: »

You were the one to refer to the term rent being incorrect. And you're right it doesn't help op to nitpick.
Op I wouldn't suggest you bring up the money being "gained" because it isn't 200 euro gained for your mother. It is money coming in to offset additional costs of caring for someone. It is not gaining an additional 200 euro, it is 200 being paid to offset additional costs. Costs that are not applicable to your brother. It's the whole point of the allowance in the first place so not comparable, and it is not being paid from your pocket so is even more irrelevant to what your brother pays from his.

Its nice that you say 200 euro is paid to offset additional costs. 100 euro comes from the OP for food and bills. This shouldn't cost more because someone is disabled.

dudara

Ive removed several posts which were off-topic and not helpful. Please remember that posts in PI should be on topic and offer constructive advice.

@antix80 - I recommend that you read the forum charter before posting again. Take some time to familiarize yourself with the posting style and standard required here.

dudara

Tasden

The Raptor wrote: »

Its nice that you say 200 euro is paid to offset additional costs. 100 euro comes from the OP for food and bills. This shouldn't cost more because someone is disabled.

I don't understand what you're getting at? I may have gotten my actual amounts wrong but my point re the actual allowance stands. I said the full 200 as the amount for carers allowance when that poster said 200 was the full amount the mother received. Replace my post with the correct allowance amount-100?

The carer's allowance (however much it may be) is paid to the carer for any additional costs associated with being a carer. Whether that is loss of possible earnings due to remaining at home, additional bills, additional costs in travelling with the person to appointments...whatever it may be. It is paid to the person doing the caring. For being a carer. And as the carer the mother receives it. It offsets additional costs involved in being a carer. It is not something she is gaining by op being there, it is a payment made to her for carrying out her duties as a carer.

And so the amount paid by op (and the brother) is completely separate to the carer's allowance the mother is receiving for being a carer. You're absolutely right that op shouldn't have to pay more than the brother due to their disability as the mother is receiving an amount to offset that.
That's exactly my point, she is not gaining anything from it. So comparing how much the brother gives to the amount the mother receives from op plus carers allowance is pointless. Only the amount op personally pays should be considered.

The Raptor

Tasden wrote: »

I don't understand what you're getting at? I may have gotten my actual amounts wrong but my point re the actual allowance stands. I said the full 200 as the amount for carers allowance when that poster said 200 was the full amount the mother received. Replace my post with the correct allowance amount-100?

The carer's allowance (however much it may be) is paid to the carer for any additional costs associated with being a carer. Whether that is loss of possible earnings due to remaining at home, additional bills, additional costs in travelling with the person to appointments...whatever it may be. It is paid to the person doing the caring. For being a carer. And as the carer the mother receives it. It offsets additional costs involved in being a carer. It is not something she is gaining by op being there, it is a payment made to her for carrying out her duties as a carer.

And so the amount paid by op (and the brother) is completely separate to the carer's allowance the mother is receiving for being a carer. You're absolutely right that op shouldn't have to pay more than the brother due to their disability as the mother is receiving an amount to offset that.
That's exactly my point, she is not gaining anything from it. So comparing how much the brother gives to the amount the mother receives from op plus carers allowance is pointless. Only the amount op personally pays should be considered.

You're correct, the carer's allowance shouldn't be taken into account.


I'm not sure if missed this but i re read a few of the posts from the OP. The brother should be ashamed of himself. The mother wanted extra jobs done but he would rather pay extra rent than actually do them, living in a house with an elderly mother and a brother/sister who is disabled. He hasn't paid anything extra. I'm not sure what advise i would give other than him losing his home is not the concern of his mother or adult sibling. He should find a place of his own and grow up a bit.

dudara

@ongarboy warned & post deleted

dudara

wehuntmonsters

The judgement coming from some of the people on this thread is unreal. Acting like keyboard warriors.

The op is disabled, the brother is not. They help out with housework despite their disability, he does not yet he is fully able to.

He pays half of what op does yet he has a full-time job, and the op only receives disability. Op also never said they were annoyed about how much he hands up in comparision to what they do, what they said was they were annoyed that he only pays 50 euro and does NO housework. The issue is that he is LAZY!

And anyway, what the op should or has to do after their mother becomes too old or ill to take care of them is no one's business. I'm sure you wouldn't let strangers tell you to move out if you had a spinal disability which I'm sure is a horrible thing to deal with.

The Wolverine

wehuntmonsters wrote: »

The judgement coming from some of the people on this thread is unreal. Acting like keyboard warriors

Disgusting tbh. If I had kids and they had an injury or simply lost their job I'd be telling them to get home immediately, even if I was 90, I'd be ashamed to have the "I deserve to relax at my age look after yourself somewhere else" attitude here.

Also if I had grown kids being like that to any grandchildren I'd tell the grandchildren move in with me and I'd cut off their parents.

Thankfully its only on this site I've ever seen this kinda talk tho in real life people seem to be happy to help family and friends.

I could understand if an adult child came home and did nothing but drink or sit down all day smoking weed but the OP is giving money and doing what they can around the house.

gaynorvader

livemusic4life wrote: »

My mother does indeed need the money and has asked him to help her with jobs around the house instead of paying more rent. He said he'd rather pay the extra money than help. But he hasn't paid more. My mum doesn't know how much she should ask for.

I have a somewhat similar situation in that my brother is still living at home and my mother is stressed about how much is reasonable to charge him for rent.

I'm guessing from this that your mother has broached the subject of your brother's rent with you, if she hasn't it's probably best to leave it between your mother and brother. Otherwise my advice to to sit down and work out how much a third of the bills in the house are (ESB, food, heating, tv, etc). Look up how much a studio apartment costs in your area and go from there. Obviously you're not going to want to charge your brother the same as a studio would cost him, but it'll give you an idea of how much renting costs (a lot more than 50 quid a week these days).

The minimum your mother should be taking is 1/3 the bills + €100pm for upkeep costs on the house (wear and tear, gardening work, replacing broken things, etc) at most she should be charging 1/3 the bills + the price of a studio apartment in your area. Optimally, it should be around halfway between these 2 amounts, depending on her circumstances. If she has mortgage payments, she should probably factor these in somewhere.

IvoryTower

Electricity, heating,maybe phone, I assume dinners, a full time maid, he's doing alright for himself. Some households wouldn't expect money(cause they have it), some would expect you to pay your way(which she does and nothing wrong with that)

makeandcreate

From age 16 the rules were set down for us - we had to give 40 pounds sterling per week or 50% of our weekly wage (which ever amount was the greater - 40 was the minimum) in house keeping. This was 25 years ago - my half sister was at home paying 50 pounds a week 2 years ago. Staying at home shouldn't be a soft option, even if your parents can afford it, you should pay your way.