No idea what I am doing and feel lost and alone

LegacyUser

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble, I''m kinda upset.

I'm 25 and have been home around seven months after living in Australia for two years.

I have always struggled with knowing what I wanted to do in my life. I want a career, I know I am smart enough and I know that I am a hard worker and try my best. I came home to apply for primary school teaching in England. I have no real idea if this is what I want to do, I just wanted to make a decision more than anything and not keep working in ****ty minimum wage jobs and disappointing my parents. I wanted to have it figured out by now.

I looked into applying for a postgrad in primary teaching in England. I already have a degree in English and History. In a way teaching feels like the most natural route into a career. I started a childcare course to gain experience with working with children also. It is expected to have done two week's experience in a school for your application, preferably an English school.

I rang a lot of schools. I told them I was from Ireland and I would be flying over for the work experience. I got one answer back saying they would be delighted to have me and to fill out a police clearance form. I need an English address for this form. So I asked for permission to use the address of the school (as was the advice given for those applying overseas for an English police clearance).

I received an email back and was then told that they would have to have a meeting in person before I could even apply for police clearance, this had not been the case before. I was also told that I would need an Irish police clearance (which they know I have), that I would need documentation to work in the UK (which is still in the EU for the time being and I am an EU citizen and it is unpaid work experience).

I received that email around an hour ago and have cried a lot since. I don't even know if I want to do this. I was trying really hard to ring and email schools in England, do the childcare course and work in a creche on my days off from my job, looking into colleges and doing a Teach First application as another avenue into teaching. I have no idea if this is what I want. I feel like if I really said that to my parents they would be so mad and upset with me. They hate seeing me crying but I feel so overwhelmed. I don't feel like I have much free time or a time when I don't have a to-do list or the stress of thinking about doing all these things to make teaching work out and you haven't a clue if you even want it. You just want to want something.

And when you are in the process of applying you have to convince someone you want something and that you're certain, but really I have no idea what I want to do.

I can't even get work experience. It is falling at a hurdle and not knowing if you even want this enough to try again.

I always get told loads of people don't know what they want to do. But to be honest there is little comfort in that.

Fakediamond

You've had a s**t day and are feeling overwhelmed. You're already busy with work and now you have all this extra running around to do so its no wonder you're stressed out. Just try and relax for tonight and get a good nights sleep. There's nothing on your list that can't wait until tomorrow.

My best advice re the career, is to spend a few quid on seeing a professional careers advisor before you undertake any more study. There's so many routes into a good career and rushing into teaching might not be best for you. You have a job for now, you could consider part-time or distance learning to get where you want. I'd say get the career advice first, they'll go through your interests and strengths and hopefully steer you in the right direction. I know it worked for me and I now have a job that I love, and that I didn't even know existed when I was your age.

Good luck.