Messed up dream about a work colleague, please advise guys I'm stuck

chwy177

Hi guys Im very stuck on this one, this girl is already with someone but anyway

I can't remember if anything happened in the dream before this point, but I was sitting with a work colleague on her bed let's call her Alison, we were playing PlayStation, we stopped playing it, she comes over to me, she starts caressing me, we start kissing for a bit I end up kissing her stomach

Then a room mate comes in, it seems her roommate stayed in the room in my dream, Alison gets up leaves the room & goes to another room,

Next I'm on a phone call to her while she's masterbating, I tried talking dirty to her but not too much or loud as the roommate was there,

All I remember after that is reading a text from her either shortly after or the next day saying that she would like to have a few dates with me & see how things go & I start writing back saying yeah sounds cool, dream ends,

Can somebody please explain like what the hell is the situation above about ?? Why am I having a dream like this ??

She's in a relationship with a guy, in work she's on reception, however in work she always addresses me differently than anyone else, she always asks how am I, did I enjoy my weekend etc, but she doesn't do this with anyone else while working on reception, which I find bizarre.. There's other things as well, in work one day I helped her out but she kept on brushing or hitting the back of my chair, she did this 3 or 4 times, on the same day something funny came up we both laughed but she flirty/playfully hit my arm.

Am I just way overthinking about her or something?? The dream has really freaked me out since I woke up this morning.. Please advise

woodchuck

Never mind the dream, do you fancy her? If so I think you're just going to have to get over it... since she's already with someone else!

shane9689

Waaaaaay over thinking it. You have a crush on her. Maybe she is flirting but shes taken and probably only flirtimg for fun. In normal circumstance id say make a move. But not here. Personally i dont try and take risks with relationships at work. Try keep it business only.

johnnyskeleton

One theory about dreams is that they are a biproduct of your mind storing / removing memories from the recent past. So get rid of any idea that your dream has any deeper meaning, revelation or prediction of the future.

Instead, the fact that you thought about her, you notice her mannerisms particularly and that youre worried about the dream the following day means shes on your mind.

Overall I wouldnt worry about it at all.

chwy177

woodchuck wrote: »

Never mind the dream, do you fancy her? If so I think you're just going to have to get over it... since she's already with someone else!

Well I guess I do fancy her, I suppose it's very easy to say well bingo that's the reason why you've had this dream about her

to be honest I don't in my working week at anytime at the moment think, aw I love to be with her or see her as a potential partner

& I don't have any interaction with her outside of work, don't see her don't text her no social media interaction etc etc

chwy177

shane9689 wrote: »

Waaaaaay over thinking it. You have a crush on her. Maybe she is flirting but shes taken and probably only flirtimg for fun. In normal circumstance id say make a move. But not here. Personally i dont try and take risks with relationships at work. Try keep it business only.

What do you mean by normal circumstance ?

You mean if she was single & I had interactions with her outside of work ?

I don't know if I'd still make a move then, it's having the dream that has me worried

woodchuck

chwy177 wrote: »

Well I guess I do fancy her, I suppose it's very easy to say well bingo that's the reason why you've had this dream about her

The simplest solution is usually correct Also if you haven't had sex in a while, that could explain having horny dreams too. Since you see her a lot and fancy her, it's only natural she would be the subject of the dreams. I don't think it means anything more than that though!

chwy177

woodchuck wrote: »

The simplest solution is usually correct Also if you haven't had sex in a while, that could explain having horny dreams too. Since you see her a lot and fancy her, it's only natural she would be the subject of the dreams. I don't think it means anything more than that though!

But it's too simple & straightforward ?

A lot of woman would fancy say Cristiano Ronaldo or the actor Tom Hardy, but that doesn't mean that the women who fancy them all automatically have dreams about having sex & fun with them, you know ?

I had sex a week ago

After reading a few comments I'm a bit less worried about it, but I still think I shouldn't be dreaming about her in that way

woodchuck

chwy177 wrote: »

But it's too simple & straightforward ?

A lot of woman would fancy say Cristiano Ronaldo or the actor Tom Hardy, but that doesn't mean that the women who fancy them all automatically have dreams about having sex & fun with them, you know ?

I had sex a week ago

After reading a few comments I'm a bit less worried about it, but I still think I shouldn't be dreaming about her in that way

You can't control your dreams though!

I really think you're over thinking this... every one has sex dreams and if you saw or thought about her that day (and like you said, you find her physically attractive), then that's why she popped up. It could've just as easily been Beyonce if you'd watched her on tv before going to bed!

chwy177

woodchuck wrote: »

You can't control your dreams though!

I really think you're over thinking this... every one has sex dreams and if you saw or thought about her that day (and like you said, you find her physically attractive), then that's why she popped up. It could've just as easily been Beyonce if you'd watched her on tv before going to bed!

Why her though why why I don't get it man

Im in contact with numerous other women some I've dated some I'm looking to date & I fancy them, but haven't had a dream like that about any of them

In fact it's very difficult to remember a dream like the one I had last night before about any other girl.. especially with all the detail I remember.. Which probably contributed to freaking me out, what I'm trying to say here is I don't remember having another type of dream like this.

woodchuck

It's still just the one dream though right? Please don't torture yourself by overthinking it I don't really understand why you're so disturbed by it to be honest... it sounds like a fairly normal sex dream to me!

batmanrobin

You're way overthinking it dude. You seem really desperate for the dream to have some deeper meaning, or to almost be some kind of premonition. It's none of those things, it's just a dream. I had a dream about dinosaurs the other night. It doesn't mean anything.

You fancy her and you see her every day. Hence the dream.

What do you want it to mean exactly? Do you want there to be a deeper meaning? If so, why?

Lavinia

You obviously do not accept what people are telling you and probably want to hear only what you would like to hear - or even know already yourself. That you are attracted to this particular girl. Obviously fact the she is in relationship does not have any influence over it.
Your "rational mind" would say it is some fact to be taken into account, your subconscious mind does not register it as a barrier for you fancying her.

Your description of how she is ONLY towards YOU as she is also says how you wish that you are special to her.


I think you need to be honest with yourself.

Big Bag of Chips

chwy177 wrote: »

I don't know if I'd still make a move then, it's having the dream that has me worried

Worried? About what?

She doesn't know you had the dream.
You're hardly likely to go in to work and tell her, in detail.
What exactly are you worried about? You sort of fancy her. You sort of notice that she's particularly nice to you. Maybe she just gels better with you than others?

I'm female, worked in a place where the female receptionist and me got on really well. She'd ask me about my weekend, whereas she mightnt ask the next man, or woman who passed her. That didn't mean anything, other than we hit it off and got on well together. 20 years later, we're still good friends.

Also, I'm straight and I had a very 'real', very vivid sex dream about another woman I work with. We were both engaged (to men!) at the time. I got on really well with her, others thought she was a bit of a cow. I woke up after the dream a bit shook as to how the dream had happened! But I didn't immediately jump to conclusions or worry as to it's meaning.

It was strange. But it wasn't the first lesbian dream I'd had!! Again for the record I am 100% straight. I even remember in the dream thinking "well this is weird"!

You are asking us to give you answers that it seems you already have, but just want confirmed. So what is it you think is going on? What is it you are worried about?

chwy177

Hi guys, thanks for your input, it'll be tricky to respond to each of you individually

I'm getting asked though why I'm worried/concerned

I suppose I'm so worried about it because I'm so bad at refraining my emotions, I struggle with it actually, I don't blab every feeling out that I have to family & friends & I won't say anything to this girl in work, if I did I'd imagine everything would be highly awkward going forward

The last thing I need is to get emotionally attached to this girl because 1. there's no chance of me being with her anyway & 2. Because I see her everyday, which is why having the dream has spooked me,

I'm the kind of guy who gets emotionally attached very fast where it'd be after sex, after a few dates etc, I try my best not to show it though,

chwy177

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I'm female, worked in a place where the female receptionist and me got on really well. She'd ask me about my weekend, whereas she mightnt ask the next man, or woman who passed her. That didn't mean anything, other than we hit it off and got on well together. 20 years later, we're still good friends.

Hi, thank you for letting me know about your experience

Just with the above scenario, what about if you were the only person in the company who she asked the question how are you to & on a Monday how was your weekend, & she doesn't ask anyone else, would that still not mean anything ?

I know this for a fact, because I can hear her off the phone..

Think of reception workers taking calls, they shouldn't really be asking how are you how was your weekend, when they're under serious pressure with numerous calls coming in ? Even though when she asks & I ask her back the whole thing takes 30 to 45 seconds,

Another thing she always asks me first.. I do be too busy to think of asking her I just want her to put the call through ! Maybe I should get to her first for a change

Big Bag of Chips

Who knows?!! Has she friends in work? Does she go out for lunch with them? Maybe she asks them then? Maybe she's in touch with a few of the people outside of work so she KNOWS how their weekend was! Maybe others have stopped her asking them because they've told her they're a bit busy and need the call put through! Just because she asks you a very general question, that your hairdresser/barber might ask you, doesn't mean anything!

She might even fancy you a little bit! Being in a relationship with someone doesn't suddenly cut you off from the rest of the world! You can still see and interact with people and even fancy them a bit. But it doesn't mean you'd take it any further than a bit of harmless admiring from afar.

chwy177

Lavinia wrote: »

You obviously do not accept what people are telling you and probably want to hear only what you would like to hear - or even know already yourself. That you are attracted to this particular girl. Obviously fact the she is in relationship does not have any influence over it.
Your "rational mind" would say it is some fact to be taken into account, your subconscious mind does not register it as a barrier for you fancying her.

Your description of how she is ONLY towards YOU as she is also says how you wish that you are special to her.


I think you need to be honest with yourself.

I think you're over dramatising your points, I understand where you're trying to come from

My rational mind is fine with me fancying her even though she's in a relationship, it's the emotional part I can't hack

And the reason why I haven't gave a description of how I am towards HER is because there is no description to give, I don't flirt back to her, I don't even spark any communication towards her, I don't & will not give her any inkling that I fancy her

She can't know that I fancy her, if she did find out it would just make me look like a loser..

Pinkycharm

chwy177 wrote: »

I think you're over dramatising your points, I understand where you're trying to come from

My rational mind is fine with me fancying her even though she's in a relationship, it's the emotional part I can't hack

And the reason why I haven't gave a description of how I am towards HER is because there is no description to give, I don't flirt back to her, I don't even spark any communication towards her, I don't & will not give her any inkling that I fancy her

She can't know that I fancy her, if she did find out it would just make me look like a loser..

I don't think you'd look like a loser. I remember having a dream like that once about a colleague of mine and it took me a day or two to get over it. Yeah I fancied him a little bit but after about a week I got over that too. Just let things go on as normal. It's probably a once off and you probably really enjoyed the dream and you know your emotional side will make you feel really guilty about it. Don't worry. She might actually be trying to develop a friendship with you with all the things you are noticing or maybe notices that you keep to yourself and she wants to just give you that interaction. Your mind is just in overdrive. She's giving you attention and you just don't know how to process it because you never expected it from her.

LegacyUser

OP, you're definitely over thinking this.
I've had lots of sex dreams over the years about people I know and most of them I don't even fancy.
I've had a few about guys from my past where at one point there would have been a little something between us, i'm talking going back to the teen years!
And yes it does play on my mind a bit the next day because the dreams were so intense at the time.....but if it was a dream about a guy I once liked I definitely think about it loads for at least a couple of days.

Dial Hard

You are taking this waaaaaay too seriously. Dreams are meaningless. I had a sex dream about Conor McGregor the other week and I can't stand the chap. Your brain is not trying to send you some kind of secret message here. Forget about it and move on.

Ursus Horribilis

I've had some seriously fecked up dreams and have woken up and felt very relieved when I realised it had all been in my head. To the best of my knowledge I'm not a psychopath or a sexual deviant I think our brains process a lot of information when we're asleep and it manifests itself in the oddest of ways. In other words, you're reading way too much into this and the more you think about it, the more "live" you keep the memories.

chwy177

Pinkycharm wrote: »

I don't think you'd look like a loser. I remember having a dream like that once about a colleague of mine and it took me a day or two to get over it. Yeah I fancied him a little bit but after about a week I got over that too. Just let things go on as normal. It's probably a once off and you probably really enjoyed the dream and you know your emotional side will make you feel really guilty about it. Don't worry. She might actually be trying to develop a friendship with you with all the things you are noticing or maybe notices that you keep to yourself and she wants to just give you that interaction. Your mind is just in overdrive. She's giving you attention and you just don't know how to process it because you never expected it from her.

Well hopefully it's a once off it has been a once off so far

I don't think she's trying to develop a friendship, as she hasn't made any suggestions to me she hasn't said hey fancy a drink or 2 after work it's been a real stressful day for example you know what I'm trying to say ? And I'm not the type to jump at the chance to ask a girl out work colleague or not, I can sometimes be too cautious, even if I thought she may have been single

She doesn't know that I know that she's in a relationship you see

I think she's just trying to be nice to me in the workplace & wants nothing to do with me outside of it

suicide_circus

Ehhh....ITS A DREAM.

leggo

Yeah OP. You have a workplace crush from seeing someone every day and having a tiny interaction (that you seem to be overthinking in itself), maybe during bored moments in work you wonder why she asks such basic small-talk questions, you had a dream because that's how your brain processes everything that happens during the day, it was clearly a slow news day that day so your brain went into overdrive on this tiny interaction, end of story.

This stuff happens to literally everyone. It's not a problem. You may as well be asking what you should do when you need to go to the bathroom. You're being dramatic trying to make this a thing. It's not a thing.

chwy177

suicide_circus wrote: »

Ehhh....ITS A DREAM.

I suppose that I haven't had a dream like that before makes it stand out, hence my shock & surprise & starting this thread

chwy177

leggo wrote: »

Yeah OP. You have a workplace crush from seeing someone every day and having a tiny interaction (that you seem to be overthinking in itself), maybe during bored moments in work you wonder why she asks such basic small-talk questions, you had a dream because that's how your brain processes everything that happens during the day, it was clearly a slow news day that day so your brain went into overdrive on this tiny interaction, end of story.

This stuff happens to literally everyone. It's not a problem. You may as well be asking what you should do when you need to go to the bathroom. You're being dramatic trying to make this a thing. It's not a thing.

Hi thank you for your input, I don't know having a crush on her is a bit strong maybe ? I mean she's a gorgeous girl & that but I don't think I'm head over heels for her

I think it's the surprise that I got from having a dream like that, that pushed me onto starting this thread

I hope it doesn't happen to me again, I'm not a big fan of these types of dreams now that I'm after experiencing one

padraig.od

It means you are gay

chwy177

padraig.od wrote: »

It means you are gay

Of course it does my sincere & utter apologies for not spotting this sooner

Neyite

padraig.od wrote: »

It means you are gay

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MusSpo13

To me it seems that she is asking you all these questions as she sees you as someone she can have a friendly chat with. I would have some people in work that I would always talk with about their life outside of work and others that I rarely speak to so take it as a good sign that she chats like that with you, obviously means you are a nice person to be around.
As for the dream, we've all had dreams about people that maybe we shouldn't have or wouldn't like to admit to. I wouldn't worry about you saying this to her as you will probably forget about it in a few days.
You probably have to spend 8+ hours a day in work so don't let it consume your thoughts or you will start to dread going, enjoy chatting with her aswell, you're not doing any harm!

HS3

I'm currently stuck in a situation where a colleague has taken my friendly banter too seriously. To the point it's awkward. Do yourself a favour. ..accept she's just a colleague and accept a dream is just a dream and enjoy the friendly chats.

beks101

chwy177 wrote: »

I'm getting asked though why I'm worried/concerned

I suppose I'm so worried about it because I'm so bad at refraining my emotions, I struggle with it actually, I don't blab every feeling out that I have to family & friends & I won't say anything to this girl in work, if I did I'd imagine everything would be highly awkward going forward

The last thing I need is to get emotionally attached to this girl because 1. there's no chance of me being with her anyway & 2. Because I see her everyday, which is why having the dream has spooked me,

I'm the kind of guy who gets emotionally attached very fast where it'd be after sex, after a few dates etc, I try my best not to show it though,

With respect OP, you're just going to have to get a grip.

Part of being an adult is learning to control your emotions, particularly in a formal/professional setting. If none of us had this restraint we'd be ranting at our bosses and throwing tantrums and crying at our desks and engaging in all sorts of inappropriate behaviours that would deem us immature, incompetent and frankly a bit weird.

So what if you have a crush on this girl and so what if you had a sex dream about her. I have a crush on the 22 year old intern in my office (I am ten years his senior and happily coupled up) and I've had sex dreams about the most random and hilariously inappropriate people in every work setting I've been in, big bloody whoop. Crushes are a fact of life and dreams are mad sh1t fit for no purpose other than your own personal amusement, get a grip here. She's not single and she's being friendly as she feels you're a friendly guy, no more and no less.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, just on that point of getting overly emotionally invested after sex/a few dates, none of that happened with this girl!!! You had a dream. You didn't have sex with her. Or you have not been on a date with her. So there should be no issue of you getting overly emotionally invested in her!!

Can I ask what age you are? Because, honestly, you are coming across like a horny teenager! As beks above said, you need to learn how to control your emotions. Otherwise you will just scare women off. Honestly, that over excited, over emotional, fast moving "I love you and we're going to be together for ever" thing is sort of grand when you're 14. Past that it just gets a bit creepy!

I don't know exactly how you'd go about fundamentally changing the type of person you are, but you need to slow things down and take a breath occasionally. Relationships will usually develop when both people are comfortable and happy. Someday you might meet "the one" that you fall head over heels in love with almost immediately. But you seem to fall head over heels in love with every one. Relax a bit.