Mentally ill family member

daydrea

Hi everyone,

My father has bipolar disorder and is not currently actively being treated for it. He has taken psych medication for many years but it hasn't been changed in a long time, and he hasn't seen a psychiatrist in at least ten years. He also is an alcoholic and drinks hard liquor everyday. He refuses to seek help, he has gone downhill fast in the last two or three years. My mother has tried to get him to go to the doctor but he refuses. He apparently gets angry and verbally abusive when she tries to discuss it. I held her as she cried in my arms the other day when she told me.

Our family GP won't discuss his case, even with my mother, who has asked her for advice on the matter. Is there anything we can do? As far as I know, we need the GP to refer him to the mental health services but he won't go. He doesn't seem to understand that having a mental illness like bipolar requires life long treatment.

It looks like he will die from his alcoholism soon if he doesn't get treatment. So I feel very worried.

Taltos

Hi OP

Sorry to hear this, while we can't give medical advice here we can give practical advice as well as publicly available sites like Citizen's Information
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/health/health_services/mental_health/admission_to_a_psychiatric_hospital.html

Please have a read of that link, it details how you can get a family member committed, it's not as easy as it used to be due to abuse but it can be done.

If you don't or can't go this route maybe try talking to another GP or giving the HSE a call and see if they can help advise you and your mother what options are there. Chances are before talking to you they'll need permission from your mum to discuss what she can do but maybe not.

zoobizoo

Get another GP to treat him and maybe report them to the relevant authorities. In cases like this, it's necessary to have a consultative relationship with your dad's doctor.

Unbelievable that he hasn't seen a psychiatrist in a decade. I've a friend with Bi-polar and have met his psychiatrist twice , spoken with his previous one a few times and I've spoken to his GP as well

Has he had many manic episodes in that time or has he been sectioned before?

LegacyUser

Your problem sounds very familiar, different symptoms/problems but generally a situation I can understand. Its very difficult but the only person who can help your father is himself. He can get medical treatment, he can stop drinking, but only if he wants to.

There comes a stage where it is not your responsibility, or your mothers. It may feel as though it should be, and it is very difficult to deal with, but that has to be the case. You cannot force him to get well.

All you can do is look after him physically, for your own peace of mind, but you cannot do more, only he can do that. What you should do is find another family doctor, or as Taltos says, look elsewhere. Sadly, there really is not a lot of help out there, but you can try.

It is very harsh, but yes, he probably will drink himself to death - that will not be your fault or something you should feel responsible for. Look after yourself, and support your mother, you are the ones that need help at the moment.

daydrea

zoobizoo wrote: »

Get another GP to treat him and maybe report them to the relevant authorities. In cases like this, it's necessary to have a consultative relationship with your dad's doctor.

Unbelievable that he hasn't seen a psychiatrist in a decade. I've a friend with Bi-polar and have met his psychiatrist twice , spoken with his previous one a few times and I've spoken to his GP as well

Has he had many manic episodes in that time or has he been sectioned before?

Yes he has had a few manic episodes that I've seen. I haven't lived at home in years so there could have been more episodes. They would be mainly him getting angry and cleaning a lot, not psychosis, so that may be why he has slipped through the cracks. I think he mainly has depression though.

He has a thing against psychiatrists (or the last psychiatrist he saw anyway). So he stayed away from the mental health services. He has never been sectioned before, I don't think he was ever an inpatient (but he could have been before I was born and I was never told). My parents are fairly old so it may be the old stigma and ignorance of mental illness coming through them. I have told my mam that he needs to see psychiatrists for the rest of his life, and probably do CBT as well. But I don't think they fully get it.

I agree my Mam should have a consultative relationship with his doctor, as she is the one living with him long term. He is very stubborn, if that isn't obvious, and in denial about his problems. He tends to blame others instead of taking on responsibility, so I find it very hard to communicate with him.

zoobizoo

Maybe it's because he hasn't had serious Manic episodes that he has managed to stay out of hospital.

Serious episodes, without medication will lead to hospitalisation.

Hard to deal with if you don't have support from a GP though,

daydrea

I understand wrote: »

Your problem sounds very familiar, different symptoms/problems but generally a situation I can understand. Its very difficult but the only person who can help your father is himself. He can get medical treatment, he can stop drinking, but only if he wants to.

There comes a stage where it is not your responsibility, or your mothers. It may feel as though it should be, and it is very difficult to deal with, but that has to be the case. You cannot force him to get well.

All you can do is look after him physically, for your own peace of mind, but you cannot do more, only he can do that. What you should do is find another family doctor, or as Taltos says, look elsewhere. Sadly, there really is not a lot of help out there, but you can try.

It is very harsh, but yes, he probably will drink himself to death - that will not be your fault or something you should feel responsible for. Look after yourself, and support your mother, you are the ones that need help at the moment.

What you're saying is true, I just don't want to look back on this time in the future and regret not doing anything. If he does die from his alcoholism it would be better if I had tried something rather than just stood back from the situation (which I have done for years to be honest).

topmanamillion

You don't need to discuss your father's case with his GP. Although they should be providing more help than your post suggests.
Tell them your concerns and your father's unwillingness to seek help. Outline clearly his alcohol dependency and poor mental health.

notsoyoungwan

Just to say that you cannot section someone for treatment of alcoholism. If that is the main issue and the biggest concern (you say you think he will die soon from it) then he cannot be forced into accepting treatment. That's made very clear in the law (mental health act 2001). It's not clear from your post how his bipolar is now, whether it's relatively stable or whether he's unwell from that point of view- if he's seriously manic or depressed then you could look at an involuntary admission, but if not then you can't go down that route.