Could I be suffering from post-natal depression for this long?

LegacyUser

Hi, So I want to stay anonymous here. I've just got a few things I need to get off my chest. I have a 14 year old and a 2 year old with my husband of 20 years. Since having my daughter 2 years ago I'm noticing very similar patterns happening from when I had my son 14 years ago. I was in a quite dark place when I had my son, without realising. I Didn't want to go out that much, I shut all my close friends out of my life and at times I wouldn't even answer the door to family members when they would come and visit. I moved to Ireland when my son was 2 and things started to improve after he went to school and I was out and about doing work/college etc. I finished in my work place 2 years ago when I had my daughter (it was only a temporary position) and i'm now noticing the same old pattern in my life. I've shut my close friends out, I don't to get out and about all that much. I've never met up with other mothers etc and I really feel like i've turned myself into a prisoner once again. Never really leaving my four walls. I feel so bad on my daughter as the only time we get out and about is when I go walking for an hour a day (something that I force myself to do) I don't drive, I've booked lessons many of times and they've gone ok but I have developed a fear of driving and always end up quitting! I've really got myself in a rut and I'm struggling to get out of it. My husband is a great guy but he is a real firm believer that we don't suffer from depression etc and that it's a cop out to say i'm 'depressed' it's a touchy subject to bring up with him and I find he almost gets angry when I try to confide in him with the way that I'm feeling. I feel lonely and down some days and other days I feel like I could conquer the world. I suppose I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar position and could this be a form of post natal depression? I don't want to talk to my doctor because I wouldn't even know where to start and would just feel silly. Any help/advise would be very much appreciated.

mordeith

Your last sentence is the main one here. You need to talk to your doctor or at the least a counselor. If you can't work through the issues yourself and can't really talk to your husband you should go the professional route.

Speedwell

As an American who has been through multiple rounds of therapy for things that are very trivial compared to yours, OP, I can tell you that you are not responsible for making an effective presentation of your issues to your therapist. You can show up and say nothing but "I feel terrible and I can't put my finger on why", and the therapist will ask questions to try to establish what exactly needs to be addressed. They're the expert, trust them. Above all, do not be afraid of being "silly"... they've seen much worse than you, I promise

Tasden

You don't have to answer, but do you think maybe you're focusing on post natal depression to be the source so that you have, in your husband's eyes, a "valid" reason to feel this way. That it is more acceptable for it to be post natal depression that just depressed generally?
Either way, the way you're feeling is the way you're feeling and there doesn't need to be a "reason" I'm order for you to seek help.

Your feelings are very valid and it does seem like you need to speak to someone. Do you have the contact number for your public health nurse still? Maybe you might feel more comfortable speaking to them than your gp?

If you do speak to your gp you can always say on the phone first when making the appointment that it's a sensitive topic and the gp will be notified before you go in. All you'll need to do then is say "I'm not feeling like myself since I had the baby" and the gp will know where to go from there. Even without warning the gp will pick up from there if you say something like that.

You can contact some counselling places without a referral too. And they obviously know how to begin things so you don't need to worry about that.

You'll get on fine best of luck

pwurple

The answer is yes, you can.

Post natal depression is thought be caused when your hormones don't get back in balance after a pregnancy. It's a physical and very real thing. Your husband doesn't have to believe in it's existance for it to be happening to you. And you can't think happy thoughts to sort it out.

I know it's difficult but please talk to your GP about it.

teggers5

most definitely yes! please go talk to a professional. I was diagnosed with post natal depression when my son was 3 years old. like you my (then) partner was unsupportive of someone suffering from depression. I said nothing to him and went and spoke to my Gp. my only regret was not looking for help sooner.

LegacyUser

Thank you for all the responses. I'm definitely not myself. I have to see the PHN soon to have my daughters 2 year check up so I will mention it to her then and see where we go from there.
Thanks for all your support

LegacyUser

teggers5 wrote: »

most definitely yes! please go talk to a professional. I was diagnosed with post natal depression when my son was 3 years old. like you my (then) partner was unsupportive of someone suffering from depression. I said nothing to him and went and spoke to my Gp. my only regret was not looking for help sooner.

Thanks Teggers. When you were diagnosed did you need to go on anti-depressants? I kind of want to stay away from taking anything for it. How were you treated once diagnosed?

Tasden

~Anon~ wrote: »

Thanks Teggers. When you were diagnosed did you need to go on anti-depressants? I kind of want to stay away from taking anything for it. How were you treated once diagnosed?

Everyone is treated differently. You may not even be "diagnosed" as such. Generally the gp will refer you for counselling and discuss medication as an option. They will not say "you are suffering from this, and this is how we treat it". Its more of a personal preference thing and it may take a while for you to decide what's best for you. It can be trial and error, and something that worked for one person may not work for you.

teggers5

~Anon~ wrote: »

Thanks Teggers. When you were diagnosed did you need to go on anti-depressants? I kind of want to stay away from taking anything for it. How were you treated once diagnosed?

my Gp put me on a low dose anti-depressant to see if it would help and thankfully it did. I was like you too, trying to avoid medication. I think that's what stopped me going for help for so long. But they made such a difference to my life I'm glad I did take them.