Everyday stresses of life are too much

LegacyUser

How do people deal with the complications of life? I feel like I'm not capable. I'm 20 and feel like I can't with cope with everyday stresses. I'm about to start 3rd year of college and last semester I was one mishap away from a breakdown. I am scared of the coming few months because things are only going to get more difficult and stressful.

I get so stressed over everything! If someone doesn't reply to an email, or if I forget to return a book on time or if I've an exam the next day I'll stay awake all night to avoid sleeping in and missing it.

I automatically assume the worst is going to happen and its like the fear of what bad things could happen consumes me and wont let me go. There's been times I've just cried for ages because of being so stressed over something that turns out to be nothing to stress over at all.

Right now my head feels like its going to explode because I'm worrying constantly (literally the entire day) over something that wont be over until mid October. I know I'm going to be constantly thinking about this until then.

I feel so stressed and I just want to be normal and not worry to this extent about things.

I'm only 20 but I never really had that much support from my parents and that's not blaming them. They just haven't been able to provide it for different reasons.

I really hope I can get over this. I can't focus on anything else in my life because of these stresses. I don't have a girlfriend, I don't do anything outside work for college and I don't go out despite friends asking me to. I know that these things aren't helping but I feel like if I have any more stressful situations I will not be able to deal with them.

HelgaWard

Hi,
My Granny used to always say "Worry is like a rocking chair, it passes time, but it gets you nowhere" You need to take control of this before it spirals out of control. Don't self sabotage your enjoyment of life.

I think there are a couple of practical things you could do to reduce your stresses.

The specific examples you gave of things that caused you stress last year are:

If someone doesn't reply to an email - if it is something you need an answer quickly to, ring the person, or visit them in person. Think if there is anybody else who could answer this for you. Send a reminder e-mail.


or if I forget to return a book on time - every time you borrow a book/books set a reminder on the calendar on your phone to remind you to return/renew it in time. A lot of libraries allow you to renew online, look in to this and it could get you out of a hole if you can't make it to the library.

or if I've an exam the next day I'll stay awake all night to avoid sleeping in and missing it. - Set 10 alarm clocks if you need to ensure you wake up. Staying awake all night is totally counterproductive. You know this already.

When you go back to college, look to make an appointment with the college doctor, or see if there are any counselors you can talk to. Maybe talking to someone could help you?

Also, do you do anything to de-stress? Try an incorporate a daily walk, or a yoga class or a run/cycle. Anything to allow you to burn off some of your nervous energy. If you exercise you sleep better. If you sleep better you'll be more effective daily. Try and eat as healthily as you can. Look after yourself and you will feel better.

Best of luck, you can do this.

LegacyUser

Hi,

Thanks for your reply!

I'll try and take that advice on board. Yesterday and today have been horrible I've been so stressed and worried my head has had throbbing pain all day long so I need to do something to sort it out.

Jerome77

Read the power of now by eckhart thole

Rubberchikken

i can empathise with you and how you feel. i would be a worrier big time if i didn't keep reminding myself that worrying never changed anything.
i tell myself this every time worry raises it's little head. sometimes it works sraight away, sometimes it takes a while.

i would say if you find that worry is overriding everything else, than a chat with a gp, or councellor in college might be a good thing.
letting thoughts run around in our heads has a habit of giving them control. so maybe talking them out with someone else will help you get the control back.

i'm a bit older than 20 and have started to realise that all i actually have is now so i do try very hard to enjoy that.
best of luck in college and life:)

bonyn

Hi op. Do you have a goal? What are you doing in college, and how does it fit with what you want to do in life?