My boyfriend does not want sex

LOTR11

Hi everyone,
This isn't the most comfortable topic but I need some advice if anyone has any. I've been with my boyfriend for six months and he's already saying he's "too sore", "too tired" or just not in the mood for sex. I see him twice a week and we only get a chance to have have sex once a week and even then he's not in the mood but he's always okay with getting somethimg sexual from me and I dont get anything. He says he's very attracted to me etc but he hasn't proved that sexually. It's embarrassing me eother shot down or being led to think you'll have sex but it turns out it's just something for him.
Sorry about the rambling
LOTR11

Jawgap

You should really post this in After Hours

purplecow1977

"Too sore" ????

Spanish Eyes

Personal issues forum >>>>>> way. Hope you get advice there.

London has nothing to do with this. Sorry honey.

LOTR11

purplecow1977 wrote: »

"Too sore" ????

Yeah his legs, back etc

endacl

Relationship counsellor. No point farting about. The two of you have a problem to be addressed.

LOTR11

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Personal issues forum >>>>>> way. Hope you get advice there.

London has nothing to do with this. Sorry honey.

I know I couldn't find an option for this topic

Joeseph Balls

After only 6 months?
Not good OP, sorry, at that stage ye should be ripping each other's clothes off!!

Avatar MIA

Went from a, 'No kidding!' thread title to, 'who's going to be the one to tell his parents they're not going to be grandparents'.

tayto lover

"My boyfriend does want sex"


You need to change the title.

tri50072

Hi take the word of an old guy Dump him even if you think you love him. If he was in love with you he would not be making excuses,Get someone who will appreciate you.Good Luck

rainbow kirby

Moved from London forum.

Penny Tration

OP, having sore legs isn't exactly a reason not to have sex. If his legs are sore every single week for six months, he needs to see an orthopedic specialist!


Sounds like he just doesn't want sex. I had an ex like that, total happy to receive oral or hand jobs, but no interest whatsoever in pleasuring me, selfish git. He used stupid excuses too!


Six months in, you should be tearing each other's clothes off. This is the honeymoon period, where you see the best of each other. if this is the best, you don't wanna see the worst!


I think you're incompatible, and you should think about walking away.

Merkin

Please don't start more than one thread on the same topic OP. I've deleted your other one.

LegacyUser

At 6 months it's as good as it's going to get. You really do not want a lifetime of this. Has he other intimacy issues? Does he say he loves you? Complement you? Say you're the most gorgeous creature he's ever seen?
If you are not getting gushing romantic love now, it's unlikely to be coming anytime soon.

Santan

do you know if he watches porn, it can make sex a little boring for some guys, expecting that women do everything that they see in the video, also have you thought of him being gay, not saying that because a guy does not want to have sex with a girl he must be gay, but in a relationship it is a possibility. You need to sit down and have a talk about it, but that is much easier said than done, and the person bringing it up needs "balls" as it maybe a touchy subject for the one who does not want sex, but for the person on the other side it is really not fair. A very difficult situation for the person who ends up feeling pushed aside and I wish there was an easier answer than just talk to him, but its the only starting point. silly advice but i know foreplay for men can really get us in the mood, and very quickly, im sure you have tried this but sometimes when it comes to sex there are no bad ideas

Teyla Emmagan

So your boyfriend is lazy and selfish OP.

I think you should get a new one.

Emme

OP end this relationship. The longer you stay with him the more he will undermine your confidence. You don't need that.

SarahMollie

Emme wrote: »

OP end this relationship. The longer you stay with him the more he will undermine your confidence. You don't need that.

This exactly. If you stay, his issues will end up giving you a complex, which you don't need.

Put yourself first.

pinkyx

OP really I would end this. This guy obviously places no value on your sexual fulfilment and enjoyment what so ever and it is highly unlikely that he is going to transform himself into a good sexual partner regardless of what action you take or what you say to him.

I find is very ride and selfish for him to expect you to pleasure him sexually but refuses to do anything in return. Please don't let him get away with this any longer it's not on at all. Having a sore back or legs is no excuse we all know that there are sexual practices and positions you can indulge in that don't put unnecessary pressure on the legs/back. I know disables people with active sex lives, if they can manage it I am sure someone with a sore back can manage something!

I have been in a situation similar to this years ago and I can tell you that it whittles away at your self esteem to be turned down sexually all of the time. Not to mention that it's incredibly frustrating.

thalia_13

My bf has lost all interest sexually after 5/6 month mark.... Says he loves me but relationship doubts prevent him from having sex it's disingenuous he feels to sleep with me while having doubts. It's killing my confidence. I've given him an out said we can end it but he doesn't want it to end. Reading this has highlighted that the ripping our clothes off stage has passed, and everyones advice to the op has made me realise my love for him is not enough to save this.

So although I've hijacked the op, I want to thank you for advice i didn't realise i needed.

SarahMollie

thalia_13 wrote: »

My bf has lost all interest sexually after 5/6 month mark.... Says he loves me but relationship doubts prevent him from having sex it's disingenuous he feels to sleep with me while having doubts. It's killing my confidence. I've given him an out said we can end it but he doesn't want it to end. Reading this has highlighted that the ripping our clothes off stage has passed, and everyones advice to the op has made me realise my love for him is not enough to save this.

So although I've hijacked the op, I want to thank you for advice i didn't realise i needed.

Thalia, please don't leave this in his hands - get out now with your dignity intact.

Any man who tells a woman who he's previously been sleeping with, that he no longer wishes to because of his doubts.... well to put it bluntly, theres no future there.