Convicted rapist in the pub

intheclouds

I was in a pub at the weekend and I saw I guy who had been in school with me there. He was with another guy and they were drinking and chatting to passing girls sometimes.

The thing is, he is a convicted rapist. He committed a very nasty rape shortly after we left school, it was all over the newspapers. He served his time and was just released from prison quite recently.

He didnt see me and himself and his friend left a short while later.

I felt/feel uncomfortable about it. The girl he raped could just as easily bump into him in a city centre pub.

On the other hand he served his time, paid his debt to society and is as entitled as anyone else to go to the pub.

I think the part that galled me the most is that when he committed his crime he had been socialising in a city centre pub and he targeted a girl who was also out. So he was really back in a similar situation again.

I feel unsettled about it, am I just being silly?

baby and crumble

This might sounds bad but what is the guy meant to do, never drink again? Never go out and socialise after serving his time? I can imagine how horrific it would be to bum into someone who raped you, I'm not minimising that but people can change. I don't think it's fair to basically issue a ban on someone who committed a violent crime doing anything other than sit at home once they've served their time. Would you ban a shoplifter from ever going to a shop? I know that's a very flippant example but you get my meaning.

mickdw

baby and crumble wrote: »

This might sounds bad but what is the guy meant to do, never drink again? Never go out and socialise after serving his time? I can imagine how horrific it would be to bum into someone who raped you, I'm not minimising that but people can change. I don't think it's fair to basically issue a ban on someone who committed a violent crime doing anything other than sit at home once they've served their time. Would you ban a shoplifter from ever going to a shop? I know that's a very flippant example but you get my meaning.

Well never drinking again would be pretty reasonable if drink was involved in my opinion.

baby and crumble

mickdw wrote: »

Well never drinking again would be pretty reasonable if drink was involved in my opinion.

Ok but he may not have been drinking alcohol either time.

I'm really not trying to excuse him but I'm just saying it's a dangerous road to go down if you ask me.

eviltwin

Not silly at all to feel that way. I imagine a lot of people would feel unsettled. Personally I'd want to be warning every woman he talks to and I probably would.

intheclouds

baby and crumble wrote: »

This might sounds bad but what is the guy meant to do, never drink again? Never go out and socialise after serving his time? I can imagine how horrific it would be to bum into someone who raped you, I'm not minimising that but people can change. I don't think it's fair to basically issue a ban on someone who committed a violent crime doing anything other than sit at home once they've served their time.

I do agree with the sentiment here but I guess there are some crimes where I feel the person cannot ever really serve their time and will always remain a danger to society. Rape is one of these crimes imo.

Its also that he was out socialising in the city centre - where he targeted his victim in the first place. Had he been drinking in the local pub I may have felt less creeped out by it.

He was drinking alcohol - both on the night he committed the crime and when I saw him at the weekend.

sullivlo

eviltwin wrote: »

Not silly at all to feel that way. I imagine a lot of people would feel unsettled. Personally I'd want to be warning every woman he talks to and I probably would.

I think I'd feel unsettled, but I don't think I'd be warning everyone.

He did the crime. He has served the time. He has been rehabilitated. Unless he was showing signs of raping somebody, why continue to ruin his life?

And yes. I know that he has ruined the victims life. But it's her story to tell. Not everyone else's.

eviltwin

sullivlo wrote: »

I think I'd feel unsettled, but I don't think I'd be warning everyone.

He did the crime. He has served the time. He has been rehabilitated. Unless he was showing signs of raping somebody, why continue to ruin his life?

And yes. I know that he has ruined the victims life. But it's her story to tell. Not everyone else's.

I wouldn't be telling anyone who the victim was obviously.

I would tell a girl who seemed to be getting close to him of his past, a friendly word in her ear and let her make up her own mind. I'd like to believe rapists are rehabilitated in prison but I don't think our prison system has a good record on that. Maybe he's changed, maybe not but I wouldn't take the chance and if someone's safety is at risk I'd err on the side of caution.

It might be unfair to him but frankly I couldn't give a toss about him.

sullivlo

eviltwin wrote: »

I wouldn't be telling anyone who the victim was obviously.

I would tell a girl who seemed to be getting close to him of his past, a friendly word in her ear and let her make up her own mind. I'd like to believe rapists are rehabilitated in prison but I don't think our prison system has a good record on that. Maybe he's changed, maybe not but I wouldn't take the chance and if someone's safety is at risk I'd err on the side of caution.

It might be unfair to him but frankly I couldn't give a toss about him.

I think it would depend on the circumstances. Err on the side of caution, yes. But not try to pro-actively tell everyone. I guess just use discretion.

I say that now. I don't know how I'd react in the situation.

eviltwin

sullivlo wrote: »

I think it would depend on the circumstances. Err on the side of caution, yes. But not try to pro-actively tell everyone. I guess just use discretion.

I say that now. I don't know how I'd react in the situation.

Well I wouldn't be telling everyone in the pub but if I knew a guy had that history and I saw an unsuspecting girl being chatted up by him I'd have to say something especially if this was the modus operandi he used with his victim. Put it this way, I'd appreciate the heads up if it was me.

intheclouds

sullivlo wrote: »

He did the crime. He has served the time. He has been rehabilitated.

There is no way of knowing that he has been rehabilitated or not. Can you rehabilitate someone who is a rapist? Like - if thats how he gets his jollies, I dont think you can change that in a person?

Also - would a recently released rapist not have a parole officer etc? Surely theyd be advising against engaging in the same behaviour that led to the previous crime?

sullivlo

intheclouds wrote: »

There is no way of knowing that he has been rehabilitated or not. Can you rehabilitate someone who is a rapist? Like - if thats how he gets his jollies, I dont think you can change that in a person?

Also - would a recently released rapist not have a parole officer etc? Surely theyd be advising against engaging in the same behaviour that led to the previous crime?

I don't know enough about the system to comment on whether they'd have a parole officer.

I think that ultimately there is more than meets the eye in most rape situations. I am not for one second engaging in victim blaming. Not at all. But there is no way of knowing what the exact circumstances were. I'm also not saying that he was right to do what he did, or I'm not defending him, but we don't know that it is how he gets his jollies. For all we know, it was a once off drunken event.

I don't know if he can be rehabilitated. But I like to think that people can change. Maybe I'm just looking at the world through rose tinted glasses.

eviltwin

sullivlo wrote: »

I think that ultimately there is more than meets the eye in most rape situations.

What does that mean

intheclouds

sullivlo wrote: »

I don't know enough about the system to comment on whether they'd have a parole officer.

I think that ultimately there is more than meets the eye in most rape situations. I am not for one second engaging in victim blaming. Not at all. But there is no way of knowing what the exact circumstances were. I'm also not saying that he was right to do what he did, or I'm not defending him, but we don't know that it is how he gets his jollies. For all we know, it was a once off drunken event.

I don't know if he can be rehabilitated. But I like to think that people can change. Maybe I'm just looking at the world through rose tinted glasses.

Just to keep in mind that in this particular situation I actually knew the person in school and when I saw his face plastered all over the newspapers for rape I was not one bit surprised.

He was very very creepy and socially "odd" in school.

The exact circumstances were published all over the newspapers. Without giving too much detail that could identify either of them, he followed a stranger he had seen earlier in the night and grabbed her, punched her when she fought back and dragged her to a place where they could not be seen and raped her repeatedly.

It only stopped because someone intervened. It was implied the victim thought he was going to murder her before someone intervened.

intheclouds

eviltwin wrote: »

What does that mean

I am taking it to mean that the poster believes it could have been an initially consensual situation that turned bad. It wasnt.

sullivlo

intheclouds wrote: »

I am taking it to mean that the poster believes it could have been an initially consensual situation that turned bad. It wasnt.

That's exactly what I meant. Not all rape cases involve knives held to a throat.


But having read your last post, that changes things. My ramblings are related to general situations, not this specific one. If I was to think of this situation then yes, throw him to the dogs.

pookie82

So it was a violent, repeated rape committed on a dark street by a man unknown to the victim?

Yeah I'd probably follow him from pub to pub and spray paint the fact on the f*cker's forehead while simultaneously announcing it through a megaphone. Wouldn't be too concerned about his right to a fresh start, and no, it is not odd that you are uneasy at the fact that he is quite literally free to do this again should he so please.

Smondie

eviltwin wrote: »

Well I wouldn't be telling everyone in the pub but if I knew a guy had that history and I saw an unsuspecting girl being chatted up by him I'd have to say something especially if this was the modus operandi he used with his victim. Put it this way, I'd appreciate the heads up if it was me.

Then girl goes back and says to him. She told me you are a rapist.

Now Mr. Rapist has a vendetta against you....be very careful with this tactic.

intheclouds

Yes it was a violent repeated rape of a stranger that only stopped because someone intervened.

It did occur to me that maybe I should say it to the staff in the pub, but Im not the guys keeper you know?

But it felt weird that he is just out and about drinking in pubs and chatting to girls now. He did serve a number of years for it. But he is still young enough now.

meeeeh

Unless he is specifically banned from entering certain premises, there is very little that can be done. I think there is nothing wrong with warning someone you think it might be in danger. You could even contact the management of the pub and telling them you wouldn't feel comfortable in their pub with him present. I think they can refuse to serve him. However I would be against vigilante type actions, people might not agree with court decisions but they are there for a reason.

baby and crumble

I really don't see what can be gained from going off on a mission and telling the pub or women in the pub the details of someones record. It's really nobody else's business. The simple fact is if you live in any kind of big town or city you're pretty much guaranteed to be living/working/drinking/eating next to someone who has committed some kind of crime (including something as horrific as rape, murder, sexual abuse or child porn). You don't know what the guy has been though in prison- a la a really successful rehab program (they do exist).

meeeeh

baby and crumble wrote: »

I really don't see what can be gained from going off on a mission and telling the pub or women in the pub the details of someones record. It's really nobody else's business. The simple fact is if you live in any kind of big town or city you're pretty much guaranteed to be living/working/drinking/eating next to someone who has committed some kind of crime (including something as horrific as rape, murder, sexual abuse or child porn). You don't know what the guy has been though in prison- a la a really successful rehab program (they do exist).

That's fine. But pubs can ban someone who destroyed the place after drinking there. How is it not serving someone who destroyed somebody's life more objectionable? It's a business and a business can up to a point decide what is in their interest. No matter how rehabilitated someone is they still have to earn back the trust of community they live in.

intheclouds

baby and crumble wrote: »

I really don't see what can be gained from going off on a mission and telling the pub or women in the pub the details of someones record. It's really nobody else's business. The simple fact is if you live in any kind of big town or city you're pretty much guaranteed to be living/working/drinking/eating next to someone who has committed some kind of crime (including something as horrific as rape, murder, sexual abuse or child porn). You don't know what the guy has been though in prison- a la a really successful rehab program (they do exist).

Yeah I dont disagree with this.

But that doesnt change the fact that while what I dont know doesnt bother me, I went cold when I realised I was in fact sitting drinking next to a violent rapist.

And one who would know that I know what he is.

And it got me thinking about how easily his victim could run into him in a pub, how other women in the pub may be at risk etc....

I dont really equate murder in the same category as sex crimes tbh. People can get very angry and kill someone but not be that way inclined normally.

But somehow I feel that crimes of a sexual nature indicate a much deeper and less able to rehabilitate psyche. I could be totally wrong.

If I saw a convicted child abuser out in a pub I would be disgusted but I wouldnt feel they shouldnt be in the pub - however I would feel they shouldnt be hanging round a playground.

In this case, this guy was doing the same thing that led to the first crime, so yes, I felt it he could be a danger in the pub.

baby and crumble

baby and crumble wrote: »

I really don't see what can be gained from going off on a mission and telling the pub or women in the pub the details of someones record. It's really nobody else's business. The simple fact is if you live in any kind of big town or city you're pretty much guaranteed to be living/working/drinking/eating next to someone who has committed some kind of crime (including something as horrific as rape, murder, sexual abuse or child porn). You don't know what the guy has been though in prison- a la a really successful rehab program (they do exist).

I can't see why, if alcohol was involved there can't be a post prison ban on entering pubs and a ban on being intoxicated in public places ( can't stop someone drinking at home ) plus a period of post release supervision.

I know this is not a popular view, but to me if a rehab program is successful, would they not feel both shame and get insight to their behaviour which in turn would lead them to make amend and change their life in some way. I am not saying that has not happened we don't know, surely shame and being ashamed of what they did is part of insight?

intheclouds

mariaalice wrote: »

I know this is not a popular view, but to me if a rehab program is successful, would they not feel both shame and get insight to their behaviour which in turn would lead them to make amend and change their life in some way. I am not saying that has not happened we don't know, surely shame and being ashamed of what they did is part of insight?

I kind of feel that if he was remorseful - he wouldnt be in the same city centre pubs and just carrying on as normal.

If I were him, and I was remorseful and ashamed, Id move away and try to minimize the chance of the victim bumping into me. And I wouldnt be drinking - or at least not out under the same circumstances (city centre pub, saturday night etc...).

It all just felt very like he was just back in his life after the minor blip of doing time.

Saipanne

I honestly don't believe a rapist can "change his ways". You're right to feel uneasy.

eviltwin

intheclouds wrote: »

I kind of feel that if he was remorseful - he wouldnt be in the same city centre pubs and just carrying on as normal.

If I were him, and I was remorseful and ashamed, Id move away and try to minimize the chance of the victim bumping into me. And I wouldnt be drinking - or at least not out under the same circumstances (city centre pub, saturday night etc...).

It all just felt very like he was just back in his life after the minor blip of doing time.

Is this in the town where the attack happened? If you know chances are others do too especially if his name was reported in the media. People will be naturally wary, his conviction will affect his life going forward in terms of work, travel etc. It probably won't be easy for him.

intheclouds

eviltwin wrote: »

Is this in the town where the attack happened? If you know chances are others do too especially if his name was reported in the media. People will be naturally wary, his conviction will affect his life going forward in terms of work, travel etc. It probably won't be easy for him.

Yes. It was a city centre pub so it was just chance for me to see him - however, I often bump into people I know out and about - so no doubt he would too.

Tbh I dont think things were too easy for him before either. He would have been a very odd type of person and very socially awkward.

intheclouds

intheclouds wrote: »

Yes. It was a city centre pub so it was just chance for me to see him - however, I often bump into people I know out and about - so no doubt he would too.

Tbh I dont think things were too easy for him before either. He would have been a very odd type of person and very socially awkward.

That is another point about successful rehab, the issues can originate in the family, so the family have to be involved.

KikiDee

I understand the feeling uncomfortable and wanting to warn people but at least you know what type of guy he is, rehabilitated or not. It unnerves me when I think of the number of people waltzing around that are violent criminals and we have no idea who they are, what they've done, what their MO is.

I would feel very uneasy about this too, and would probably have a word in the ear of any girl I saw him getting close to - if it appeared she was a stranger.

I have mixed feelings though, as if he's served his time and paid his debt to society, then he has as much right to be anywhere as anyone else. Those are the rules of a civilized society and I believe in the principle.

I wouldn't be making friends with him, or encouraging anyone to date him, but at the same time I believe he should be left to get on with his life.

rainbowtrout

intheclouds wrote: »

I kind of feel that if he was remorseful - he wouldnt be in the same city centre pubs and just carrying on as normal.

If I were him, and I was remorseful and ashamed, Id move away and try to minimize the chance of the victim bumping into me. And I wouldnt be drinking - or at least not out under the same circumstances (city centre pub, saturday night etc...).

It all just felt very like he was just back in his life after the minor blip of doing time.

You're probably sitting beside all sorts of people who have committed crimes in cafes, pubs, restaurants, on public transport every day.

While I'm not undermining how uneasy you felt about the situation, I probably would too, he has served his time and is entitled to re-enter everyday life. I think you are fixated on him drinking in a city centre pub, because of the location where he committed the crime, and because you know him. Thousands of people drink in city centre pubs in this country every day, drinking is a huge part of Irish culture. You can't ban him from every pub in the country for the rest of his life. It's a normal everyday place to see a person. The pub could have been filled with convicted rapists, and you wouldn't know, you just happen to know him.

Your view is that he shouldn't drink in the city centre as a form of remorse as you associate the location with the crime. He probably doesn't, and the thing is, if he is going to reoffend, banning him from pubs won't make a difference, he could just as easily follow a woman from a nightclub, chipper or supermarket.

Fakediamond

He might be subject to post-release supervision by the Probation Service and one of the conditions of his post-release could be no alcohol, while still under supervision. You could report him to Gardai, if that was the case as he would be in breach of a Court order.

I know there's no way for the general public to know every detail of a court order, but in the case of a violent rape, there's a strong possibility that there are conditions to his release, and if he is engaging in high-risk behaviour (i.e. drinking) he's placing himself in jeopardy of being returned to prison. It's a tricky one, as gardai would have to see him drinking to take action.

I would agree with your concerns, but wouldn't notify pub/patrons myself, it's too risky for you.

Billy86

intheclouds wrote: »

I do agree with the sentiment here but I guess there are some crimes where I feel the person cannot ever really serve their time and will always remain a danger to society. Rape is one of these crimes imo.

intheclouds wrote: »

There is no way of knowing that he has been rehabilitated or not. Can you rehabilitate someone who is a rapist? Like - if thats how he gets his jollies, I dont think you can change that in a person?

Saipanne wrote: »

I honestly don't believe a rapist can "change his ways". You're right to feel uneasy.

Does anyone know the recidivism rates for rape vs other crimes, out of interest?

intheclouds

Billy86 wrote: »

Does anyone know the recidivism rates for rape vs other crimes, out of interest?

According to this link, its 29% for sexual offenders.

Which is a lot lower than Id have thought tbh.

In saying that, a lot of rapes go unreported and a lot of reported rapes go unprosecuted due to a lack of evidence. So the true figure could be a lot higher (although the same could be said for any of those recidivism rates - plenty of crime goes unpunished).

Sound Bite

I would feel the same as you. Very unnerving and I would consider it very brazen of a convicted rapist to be socialising in the area of his previous attack. It doesn't appear very remorseful.

I believe in second chances generally but draw the line at rapists, paedophiles, or any other form of child abuse.

Cosmicfox

I don't think a rapist can ever truly change, it's not a crime you can commit accidentally and usually goes hand in hand with a warped view of women.

If I was chatting to one without knowing, I'd very much appreciate it if someone gave me a heads up.

Charizard

intheclouds wrote: »

I was in a pub at the weekend and I saw I guy who had been in school with me there. He was with another guy and they were drinking and chatting to passing girls sometimes.

The thing is, he is a convicted rapist. He committed a very nasty rape shortly after we left school, it was all over the newspapers. He served his time and was just released from prison quite recently.

He didnt see me and himself and his friend left a short while later.

I felt/feel uncomfortable about it. The girl he raped could just as easily bump into him in a city centre pub.

On the other hand he served his time, paid his debt to society and is as entitled as anyone else to go to the pub.

I think the part that galled me the most is that when he committed his crime he had been socialising in a city centre pub and he targeted a girl who was also out. So he was really back in a similar situation again.

I feel unsettled about it, am I just being silly?

The man has served his time and now he is trying to get on with his life. Surely he should be given the benefit of doubt

Charizard

eviltwin wrote: »

Not silly at all to feel that way. I imagine a lot of people would feel unsettled. Personally I'd want to be warning every woman he talks to and I probably would.

Would you not find imposing yourself on his life as well rude. Why cant he move on with his life after serving his time without a witch hunt

Charizard

eviltwin wrote: »

Well I wouldn't be telling everyone in the pub but if I knew a guy had that history and I saw an unsuspecting girl being chatted up by him I'd have to say something especially if this was the modus operandi he used with his victim. Put it this way, I'd appreciate the heads up if it was me.

So because hes committed a terrible crime, and then served his time. You would not like to see him chatting or flirting with another woman, thats crazy. I honestly cant see how it would be your business

intheclouds

Charizard wrote: »

The man has served his time and now he is trying to get on with his life. Surely he should be given the benefit of doubt

Im not sure what you mean by "surely he should be given the benefit of the doubt"?

The benefit of the doubt of what? He is a convicted rapist. That he committed the crime there is no question.

Or do you mean that he should be let get on with it and we should give him the benefit of the doubt that he wont do it again? Well this thread details exactly that dilemma.

Why do you think he should be given the benefit of the doubt? Do you think that rapists, in this case, a rapist who snatched a stranger off the street in a premeditated attack and who may have done far worse had he not been stopped - that he wont do it again? If so - why? If not - why not?

Do you agree that its bad form of him to be out in a city centre pub drinking when this led to the first crime?

Lu Tze

Would there be a similar enthusiasm to warn a man in a pub when chatting to a girl who had falsely accused somebody of rape previously?

intheclouds

Lu Tze wrote: »

Would there be a similar enthusiasm to warn a man in a pub when chatting to a girl who had falsely accused somebody of rape previously?

Theres a bit of a difference here, I would certainly feel the same way about a girl who had violently beaten then raped a man, been convicted of the rape and done prison time for it.

I dont think a violent crime can be equated to a false accusation though.

Charizard

intheclouds wrote: »

I kind of feel that if he was remorseful - he wouldnt be in the same city centre pubs and just carrying on as normal.

If I were him, and I was remorseful and ashamed, Id move away and try to minimize the chance of the victim bumping into me. And I wouldnt be drinking - or at least not out under the same circumstances (city centre pub, saturday night etc...).

It all just felt very like he was just back in his life after the minor blip of doing time.

Away from his family and friends, all this after serving time. When does the punishment end

Charizard

intheclouds wrote: »

Im not sure what you mean by "surely he should be given the benefit of the doubt"?

The benefit of the doubt of what? He is a convicted rapist. That he committed the crime there is no question.

Or do you mean that he should be let get on with it and we should give him the benefit of the doubt that he wont do it again? Well this thread details exactly that dilemma.

Why do you think he should be given the benefit of the doubt? Do you think that rapists, in this case, a rapist who snatched a stranger off the street in a premeditated attack and who may have done far worse had he not been stopped - that he wont do it again? If so - why? If not - why not?

Do you agree that its bad form of him to be out in a city centre pub drinking when this led to the first crime?

No I dont think its bad form, I feel the bad form is the witch hunt. I believe he should be given a chance to start a fresh something you seem to be totally against, which is crazy as hes served his time

Charizard

intheclouds wrote: »

Theres a bit of a difference here, I would certainly feel the same way about a girl who had violently beaten then raped a man, been convicted of the rape and done prison time for it.

I dont think a violent crime can be equated to a false accusation though.

Still a crime though, its just easier to ignore. I for one wouldnt walk up to the lad though and say something along the lines of "Hey buddy, shes previously given false accusations for rape"

intheclouds

Charizard wrote: »

Away from his family and friends, all this after serving time. When does the punishment end

His family have disowned him over the rape. Anyone who knew him from school has also disowned him so any friends he has now are probably new friends who dont know what he has done.

Do you think the punishment should end? It will never end for the victim.

Charizard

intheclouds wrote: »

His family have disowned him over the rape. Anyone who knew him from school has also disowned him so any friends he has now are probably new friends who dont know what he has done.

Do you think the punishment should end? It will never end for the victim.

Yes I 100% believe it should end, if not why not just keep him in prison. Youd be surprised if you look what a family is willing to forgive. Do you believe he shouldnt be let have new friends either, or is it just drinking and female company

intheclouds

Charizard wrote: »

No I dont think its bad form, I feel the bad form is the witch hunt. I believe he should be given a chance to start a fresh something you seem to be totally against, which is crazy as hes served his time

Im not sure why you think Im totally against a fresh start given that I am here exploring why I feel as I do?

And I did not alert anyone on the night I saw him either.

What I am interested in is a properly constructed opinion, and why you would think that way.

You seem to be dismissive on the unease I feel without giving any reason why, except to label it as crazy.

So why is it crazy that I felt unsettled about this situation?

As far as I am aware I dont have any friends who are rapists so I cant say I hang around with rapists and they are sound etc... If I found out someone in my social group was a rapist I would definitely distance myself from them. Particularly if the rape was of the nature of the one under discussion.

intheclouds

Charizard wrote: »

Yes I 100% believe it should end, if not why not just keep him in prison. Youd be surprised if you look what a family is willing to forgive. Do you believe he shouldnt be let have new friends either, or is it just drinking and female company

Perhaps you misunderstand - his family have disowned him - they have not forgiven him. I still live locally and he has siblings who still live locally.

I never said he shouldnt be allowed to have new friends, simply that I would assume they dont know his past.

Would you willingly befriend a convicted rapist?

Charizard

intheclouds wrote: »

Im not sure why you think Im totally against a fresh start given that I am here exploring why I feel as I do?

And I did not alert anyone on the night I saw him either.

What I am interested in is a properly constructed opinion, and why you would think that way.

You seem to be dismissive on the unease I feel without giving any reason why, except to label it as crazy.

So why is it crazy that I felt unsettled about this situation?

As far as I am aware I dont have any friends who are rapists so I cant say I hang around with rapists and they are sound etc... If I found out someone in my social group was a rapist I would definitely distance myself from them. Particularly if the rape was of the nature of the one under discussion.

Because you feel that women hes talking to should be notified. How is that giving him a second chance. Actually I never once was dismissive about you feeling unease, thats your prerogative though, something for you to deal with. I have multiple times said the guy has served his time he should be allowed to live his life as he sees fit regardless of your feelings