Negative Housemate

LegacyUser

I moved into a house sharing with owners sister about 6 weeks ago. I got it through Daft.ie. When I went to view the room the lady that lives there was lovely and very friendly

I'm a quiet person and keep to myself, I come in from work in the evening have my dinner and head back out either to the gym or to yoga/mediatation or to meet friends. I spend Friday to Sunday with my boyfriend. So I'm rarely in the house

I get the impression of this lady that she is lonely and needy, every evening I come home she is in the sitting-room alone with a few cans of beer or wine, she questions where I have been and sniggers and talks negative about my hobbies. She seems to try put me down a lot, I have seen a different side to her and I always feel uncomfortable coming back to the house, I feel a lot of negative energy in the house. She is on medication aswell as drinking each night, I do feel for her ,she has her issues, but I have my own life to live. she slags off my car, my friends, my clothes, everything about me she insults. I just laugh it off but I cannot have negative people in my life. I'm now very unhappy I dread going back there each night.

I've made my mind up that I want to move out of there, I have no problem getting somewhere else. My problem is I dont know what excuse I will give her that I have to move out? I dont want to tell her the truth as I wouldn't like to hurt her feelings. I'm only there 6 weeks, how do I get out of there without offending her or falling out.

Merkin

You're right to move out, living in an environment like that would be very corrosive.

If you don't want to tell her the truth just say that a great opportunity has arisen to share with a couple of friends and it's too good to pass up.

intheclouds

Personally I dont think you need care about offending her or falling out with her as you are hardly going to be staying in touch with her after you leave will you?

I would simply find somewhere new then tell her that it isnt working out for you and you are moving elsewhere and then dont engage in any further discussion on it.

Ryan Mac Sweeney

Hi
Tell her that you and your boyfriend bought a house and that you are going to live with him instead. Then go looking for another house share. Its terrible to live like that.

December2012

She doesn't care about your feelings so don't care about hers.

Find a great new place, and tell her you're going.

pwurple

Is she looking for a bit of banter / chat, or is this actually insulting? A lot of irish people take the piss out of everything as part of their sense of humour, or to get a rise out of someone.

I know in my circle of friends, we are always slagging eachother.

daithi7

December2012 wrote: »

She doesn't care about your feelings so don't care about hers.

Find a great new place, and tell her you're going.

Yeah, that's fine posting that on an Internet mb but there may well be a deposit involved and also the landlady one sounds like she could turn on someone if she got offended, which sounds likely tbh.

Easiest and best option imho is the' I just got a great opportunity to live with friends route', if pushed on this you can always add they have much more common interests with you and you'd have more in common with them.... She can read what she likes into all that.

I wouldn't use the bought a house with the boyfriend excuse cos she could suss that as bs with a few pertinent questions to the Op, or her boyfriend, or both.

I would give the land lady 4weeks notice, or whatever they've agreed, and I would just be very civil and clear about explaining your reasons for moving on. Let her put 2+2 together on this in her own good time, it sounds like she needs to get herself together on many levels anyway and who knows, this may help.

kunst nugget

pwurple wrote: »

I know in my circle of friends, we are always slagging eachother.

That only works if everyone is of the same mindset, have a shared history and understands what each other is doing. If you're just lobbing insults at someone you don't really know under the banner of 'just slagging' then you're being a bit of a dick imo.