Mans opinion required

LegacyUser

A couple of months ago, I met a guy in a club and we spent hours kissing. I live a good distance away so we haven't met since but we have been messaging each other on and off, friendly chats with serious personal issues also discussed.
The last few messages have been of a more exciting nature, on both our sides, however, during our last messaging session, he just stopped texting in the middle of it with no explanation. I sent a general 'hows things' message since, which I can see he has read but still no reply. What is he thinking??? Is he keen or not? Why not just say if hes not interested, hes not exactly shy.
I don't know if he has a girlfriend, but if he does, she didn't just appear that day so why would he just stop replying all of a sudden?
I don't want to text again as I think it would look a bit desperate.

ibarelycare

It's called ghosting. People just disappearing and going quiet for no apparent reason. It sucks but unfortunately it seems to be something that's happening more and more often these days. You can drive yourself mad wondering why he hasn't replied, wondering is it something you said, does he have a gf, has he met someone else, etc. The most likely explanation is that he lost interest and is too cowardly/too much of a dick to be honest with you. The best thing to do is just delete his number, delete the messages and try and forget about him. If he was interested he'd reply.

SarahMollie

Hi OP,

TBF, you don't even need a mans opinion to know whats going on here. Texting is fun, but he's not really interested. You only met that one night, so you really need not to get too invested in someone you've never met in the cold light of day.

Delete his number.

njs030

SarahMollie wrote: »

you really need not to get too invested in someone you've never met in the cold light of day.

Texting is easy, get invested when he's made the effort to show up multiple times and proven how much he likes you!

He's not interested, sorry.

Ursus Horribilis

Seeing as you live a good distance away and haven't met for a couple of months, this doesn't look like something that is going anywhere anyway. Did either of you ever try to organise a trip to see each other again?

Big Bag of Chips

dcu33 wrote: »

I don't know if he has a girlfriend, but if he does, she didn't just appear that day so why would he just stop replying all of a sudden?

Maybe she did! Maybe she called over unannounced. Maybe he didn't get a chance to delete texts and she saw them?? Who knows? You met months ago and didn't make the effort to meet up again. He's either moved on, or is making it up to his gf.

YellowLead

Stop driving yourself crazy amd delete his number, he clearly is not interested at all anymore and he just doesn't want to bother to tell you, might not feel he owes it to you as you have only met once. Or maybe he doesn't want to because he is interested in someone else but he might want to text you again if that goes nowhere and when he is bored. Either way, forget him and move on.

Calypso Realm

Sorry OP not surprised he's fallen off the radar. He was never that bothered in the first place.

Frankly, despite the distance, is he were truly interested after the first meeting, he'd have made arrangements to actually meet up again! He had your contact details and you were responding!

Always best to judge interest by actions and effort. Texting doesn't even come close.

LegacyUser

Ok, unanimous decision there! Sometimes it's hard to see things clearly from within. Thanks all.

Calypso Realm

Sorry OP. In future by all means text in the very initial stages BUT in the absence of any concrete plans to meet up, just drop it all. Otherwise you're just being strung along and the guy has no incentive to move things forwards with you. He might well resurface at some point and if so I'd just ignore. Next.

Carlos Orange

Calypso Realm wrote: »

Always best to judge interest by actions and effort. Texting doesn't even come close.

By that logic the op isn't all that interested either.

LegacyUser

I was interested and coincidentally I am moving to the city where he lives in another month so was going to suggest meeting up then. Didn't want to be too eager considering we had only met once so thought chatting by text would do until then. But yeah, he could have suggested meeting too.

Irish_Elect_Eng

dcu33 wrote: »

I was interested and coincidentally I am moving to the city where he lives in another month so was going to suggest meeting up then. Didn't want to be too eager considering we had only met once so thought chatting by text would do until then. But yeah, he could have suggested meeting too.

I think that you may have just answered your own question.
Neither of you made any effort to meet when at a distance.
Then when you were moving to live near him he cut contact.


Or:

He may have lost his phone? What time-line are we talking about?

Ursus Horribilis

She mentioned in her first post that she could see that he'd read the messages but not replied. So no phone lost.