Free bar.. Thoughts?

completely confused

Has anyone been to/had a wedding with a free bar?

We're in the very early stages of planning. One of the venues we really like doesn't charge a corkage to bring in drink. It feels like it'd be mad not to take advantage of this and I love the idea of doing a free bar for guests.However, I have no idea what this would cost/ whether it'd end up being too stressful? If be really worried about running out. We're looking at roughly 100 guests.

Would an option be to do free booze for a part of the night e.g. After the meal? Or would it just be too messy?

Any experience greatly appreciated!

Mech1

Feckin great idea! can I come?

machiavellianme

Had a similarly sized wedding and had a free bar early on.
Everyone got a drink on arrival and for toasting but we also put 500 behind the bar before dinner and people helped themselves. It amounted to a couple of drinks per person as many of our guests were teetotalers. Got a lot of positive responses on it and people still mention it three years later as it's quite rare.

Just stipulate no ridiculous doubles etc or top shelf drinks to the bar staff and go for it. Especially if it's not going to cost too much. It's a nice thing to do (if you can afford it) although it isn't necessary.

harr

completely confused wrote: »

Has anyone been to/had a wedding with a free bar?

We're in the very early stages of planning. One of the venues we really like doesn't charge a corkage to bring in drink. It feels like it'd be mad not to take advantage of this and I love the idea of doing a free bar for guests.However, I have no idea what this would cost/ whether it'd end up being too stressful? If be really worried about running out. We're looking at roughly 100 guests.

Would an option be to do free booze for a part of the night e.g. After the meal? Or would it just be too messy?

Any experience greatly appreciated!

I was at two weddings which involved a free bar and to be honest some guests just take the piss and it can get messy...maybe at dinner give everyone a round or two but having a free bar can get messy..
Another thing is when a venue tells you it has no corkage fee that is normally just for wine at the dinner not regular bar drinks..I have never seen a venue letting you bring your own beer and spirits unless of course the venue has no bar facility's

completely confused

Thanks for the replies.

As we'd be supplying the drink ourselves, we'd only be bringing in the basics aka no 50 year old whiskies etc.

This venue is definitely no corkage for all drinks. It's one of these places where you rent the place out for the weekend for a pretty hefty price! There is an option for a pay bar too but it's completely up to you.

I was thinking that if I kept it free only after the meal then at least people won't be completely wrecked before they even eat!?

drunkmonkey

Nope, maybe if your having a quick one in the pub nearest the church before heading to hotel but not the wedding bar itself.
We had hot whiskey and port reception, didn't charge us anything for doing it we just supplied the whiskey and port. Paid for a drink for everyone in the pub between the church and hotel.

jcd5971

Are group?

Mainly a mix of of say late 30's 40's with a few younger age I'd say go for it.

Mainly early 30's late 20's forget it, chaos will be your reward.

Why not have a drink on arrival drink with meal and one for toast. That way you can budget for 3 drinks free per head and still get kudos for the gesture

Addle

Great idea.
So what if you run out.
It's a generous gesture and guests can use the venues bar if they want more than they've been given.

harr

completely confused wrote: »

Thanks for the replies.

As we'd be supplying the drink ourselves, we'd only be bringing in the basics aka no 50 year old whiskies etc.

This venue is definitely no corkage for all drinks. It's one of these places where you rent the place out for the weekend for a pretty hefty price! There is an option for a pay bar too but it's completely up to you.

I was thinking that if I kept it free only after the meal then at least people won't be completely wrecked before they even eat!?

I would go for the pay bar ..rather than you trying to supply the bar for the night...wedding stressful enough without having to worry about running out of drink...as others have mentioned maye a free drink when people arrive at venue with you supplying the drink for that...

dori_dormer

We had it at our wedding for 2 hrs after dinner ( plus dinner drinks) no one knew before hand and no one knew when it would finsih. We only had one person abuse it and he was 21. But we didn't provide the drink ourselves so we didn't run out of drink

Dial Hard

We had a free bar from arrival at the venue until dinner, maybe an hour and a half, two hours? We also supplied all the wine at dinner and a toast drink. Only one person got really blotto and tbh, he was the one person I'd have pegged to act the ass even if we'd had no free drink.

"Know your audience" is really the best piece of advice on this one. If you know it's a crowd who are going to take the piss, then I'd err on the side of a paid bar and just do the "normal" free drinks.

GingerLily

Our venue is exactly the same but after lots of thought I just amnt bothered buying and carrying all the drink physically! We're doing prosecco reception (beer options) wine and toast drink, and then we're getting a bar after the meal.

We're having a BYOB second day too and will use up all the left over booze then! I'm more excited about that I think!

newacc2015

harr wrote: »

I would go for the pay bar ..rather than you trying to supply the bar for the night...wedding stressful enough without having to worry about running out of drink

You could buy drink from a supermarket that will let you return it unopened.

Another way of doing this is ordering all your alcohol online. Due to distant selling law. You are entitled to return any item brought online within 14 days of delivery to the merchant eg you could buy all your drink online with O'Briens and return the unopened alcohol.

elperello

A free bar for wine and beer can be really relaxing and actually reduce problems of over consumption. There are no "rounds" as you can't actually buy someone a drink if it's available without charge. People tend to stick to what is available free and don't start drinking spirits too early. As others have said if you put a time limit on it your friends will be grateful for what they have got. Any reasonable person will seamlessly move on to paying for their drink.

zoobizoo

Do sale or return at your local off license. What isn't consumed is returned

Ask them how much of each drink you'd need for your numbers

Don't remember any guests getting any messier than a normal wedding

miezekatze

Most weddings I've been to had a free bar, but I'm from another country where this is more common than here. People there usually get a deal with a supplier where they order more than they need and are allowed to return any unopened bottles for a refund. Maybe talk to some places and see if they would agree to something like that?

Tbh I've seen more people getting seriously drunk at Irish weddings with a pay bar than I have at weddings in my home country that had a free bar, but most people will be fairly drunk by the end of the night.

jcd5971

zoobizoo wrote:

Do sale or return at your local off license. What isn't consumed is returned

Most places don't do sale or return on that kind of scale

carolinespring

I think it would depend on your crowd. We had a free bar for our wedding. We had 78 guest but all where early 30's to mid 40's with a couple of older guests. So no hassle at all. They did drink steady all during the reception and party. The only guest who did over do it was a chap in his mid 50's who did get very drunk. We had a bar tender so it wasn't self our which I would think could have got messy.

I have been to a few wedding with free bar and to be honest haven't seen any problems but with a large crowd it could be different.

Malari

We had a free bar for the meal and party afterwards, no restrictions, about 50 odd guests. We weren't allowed bring in our own drink so just used what the venue had. I think it went down well, no issues.

Milly33

Your not getting married in Cork are you!! We had more or less the same senario with the bar. There was no corkage but we still had to supply the wine, and also we had to supply the bar..

For the wine we just had it there if anyone wanted it. We had as much as you would like for dinner. Same goes for bubbles you could have what you like.. For the bar then, because we were paying for the drink ourselfs (and honestly we could not cover all this ourselfs) we charged a small price for a drink. A drink now was a drink like vodka and coke was just a drink.. Soft drinks were free..

We also brought some drinks ourselfs like tequila we just marked it that it was ours so if anyone wanted a shot they didnt pay for it..If you can afford it then, tis a lovely idea to do for guest as they do put an awfull lot of effort going to your day.So tis nice to be nice but then if ye cannot afford to pay for the entire bar then just asked what could cover it..

SarahMollie

I was at 2 foreign weddings outside of Ireland this year, both of which had free bars because it's typically cheaper to do abroad, and also since people were making the effort to travel, the couples wanted to ensure people had a lovely time.

But no good deed goes unpunished. There was at least 1 spectacular puking incident at each wedding, where the person in question (not the same person at both weddings btw!!!) puked everywhere and then passed out.

I think guests really appreciate it, but you need to keep some sort of lid on it, like maybe free until midnight, or free beer/wine only or something.

athtrasna

I think free bars are a bad idea, when people don't pay they'll leave a drink down on one table and go dance then just go get another drink instead of finding the old one. Like one of the other posters said, charge a small fee, people will appreciate the subsidy and won't abuse it.

baby and crumble

it's already annoying me that I have to pay for wine and a prossecco reception at my wedding, so I wouldn't be a fan! But I have a specific attitude to alcohol that tends not to go down well in Ireland.

helimachoptor

I was at a wedding a few years back (parents are very wealthy)

But once people realised it was a free bar quite a few got stupid

Atlantic Dawn

At 100 guests you would likely be looking at an average running pace of 2 drinks an hour, that factors in those who will swig a pint for an hour and those who will need one every 20 minutes and those inbetween. So most places your average drink will be €5-€6 a pint so a budget of €1200 an hour for your free bar and your laughing...well your wedding guests are :pac:

SarahMollie

athtrasna wrote: »

I think free bars are a bad idea, when people don't pay they'll leave a drink down on one table and go dance then just go get another drink instead of finding the old one. Like one of the other posters said, charge a small fee, people will appreciate the subsidy and won't abuse it.

This is actually a good point - if the free bar seems limitless, people don't watch their drinks in the same way. For example, they put their drink down on the table, ramble off the the bathroom, when they get back they're not sure which of the dozen or so half full drinks on the table are theirs, so they just get a new one.

Story Bud?

Been to a few weddings with free bar and they were never taken advantage of.

One of those was a bar with a generous tab, the groom fully expected it to run out but it never did. Unless your friends are pricks (I'm sure they're not!) then they won't take the piss out of you.

That said, I know there were people caught taking closed bottles of wine from the server's table at one wedding a friend of mine was working at, and bringing them to their rooms which is beyond the beyond of scumbaggery but I doubt that happens all that often.

SarahMollie

Story Bud? wrote: »

Been to a few weddings with free bar and they were never taken advantage of.

One of those was a bar with a generous tab, the groom fully expected it to run out but it never did. Unless your friends are pricks (I'm sure they're not!) then they won't take the piss out of you.

That said, I know there were people caught taking closed bottles of wine from the server's table at one wedding a friend of mine was working at, and bringing them to their rooms which is beyond the beyond of scumbaggery but I doubt that happens all that often.

Humm, I don't know, like I said I've been to a few now and although some got out of hand, I know people didnt view it like "taking advantage".... they were just having a good time. Once people have a few drinks and they're in great spirits, they tend to want to keep going.

Harika

I think free bars are quite common outside of Ireland. Was at weddings in Tunisia and Austria where the wine was flowing all night long for free. At the dinner your glass gets topped up always and when the bar opens around midnight, there was unlimited alcohol until the end, as one of the party guests took over the barman's job. They paid a flat rate of 50 Euros per person for venue, rooms, food and drinks at a Castle. So there were no picnic tables on a parking space.
So it was less expansive, that what we paid at our wedding in Cork with 0.5 bottles of wine per person.

bmwguy

What about a subsidised bar? 2 Euro a drink or half price or something and you pick up the balance

EagererBeaver

jcd5971 wrote: »

Most places don't do sale or return on that kind of scale

If they've any sense whatsoever they will.

baby and crumble

bmwguy wrote: »

What about a subsidised bar? 2 Euro a drink or half price or something and you pick up the balance

Why should a couple have to subside the guests drinking? TBH that seems weirder than an open bar.

all the bais

Hard to beat that post-mass pint

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Nope, maybe if your having a quick one in the pub nearest the church before heading to hotel but not the wedding bar itself.
We had hot whiskey and port reception, didn't charge us anything for doing it we just supplied the whiskey and port. Paid for a drink for everyone in the pub between the church and hotel.

GingerLily

I personally don't like the idea of subsidised drinks, I think a tab makes a hell of a lot of more sense!

SarahMollie

baby and crumble wrote: »

Why should a couple have to subside the guests drinking? TBH that seems weirder than an open bar.

I'll agree with you that subsidising is a little weird to me, but I do believe its only right and proper to look after your guests as well as you can afford.

People give a lot going to weddings (cost of a gift, getting dressed up, their free time etc) so I would view it as my responsibility to do my best to make sure they've a good time, and to be generous towards them as they've been towards me to turn up to my wedding.

My only concern would be that some poeple may over do it and end up in a heap. I wouldnt remotely be concerned about the money aspect. Its only one night out of a lifetime, and if you're close enough to me to be invited, then you're close enough for me to happily buy you some drinks.

You wouldnt invite people over for dinner and then not provide enough wine surely?

baby and crumble

SarahMollie wrote: »

I'll agree with you that subsidising is a little weird to me, but I do believe its only right and proper to look after your guests as well as you can afford.
...
You wouldnt invite people over for dinner and then not provide enough wine surely?

TBH like I said earlier, I have an unusual Irish attitude to alcohol in that I don't like it. I do drink occasionally, but I don't need it to have a good time and be comfortable and if I'm 100% totally honest, I do look down on people who do. Sorry to say it but that's how I feel.

I never provide wine if I have people over for dinner. I usually have wine in my house because people insist on buying me bottles of wine even though I do not drink it, so I'll open that if people want one, but why should I have to pay for something I don't actually agree with? The fact that alcohol is tied to EVERY single social occasion in Ireland is something I have a big, big problem with.

However I'm absolutely adamant that there are non-alcoholic options at all points of the wedding. Wherever we are covering the alcohol (like I said, I'm not having a dry wedding, there will be a prosecco/ mulled wine reception and 1/2 bottle of wine for everyone with their dinner) there will be equivalent non booze options. There is nothing worse as someone who doesn't drink much than weddings where there's no option for you except table water or having to buy sugary drinks all night. Why should booze be free but soft drinks not?

My guests will be 100% cared for with food and refreshments but I guess I'm (perhaps stupidly) making a point during my wedding that I won't pay for others peoples alcohol. We've argued with our venue that there will be some particular half price cocktails available all night (as most of our guests are cocktail drinkers rather than wine anyway) and to my mind, a couple of glasses of prossecco and 1/2 bottle of wine EACH is more than enough anyway.

SarahMollie

baby and crumble wrote: »

TBH like I said earlier, I have an unusual Irish attitude to alcohol in that I don't like it. I do drink occasionally, but I don't need it to have a good time and be comfortable and if I'm 100% totally honest, I do look down on people who do. Sorry to say it but that's how I feel.

I never provide wine if I have people over for dinner. I usually have wine in my house because people insist on buying me bottles of wine even though I do not drink it, so I'll open that if people want one, but why should I have to pay for something I don't actually agree with? The fact that alcohol is tied to EVERY single social occasion in Ireland is something I have a big, big problem with.

However I'm absolutely adamant that there are non-alcoholic options at all points of the wedding. Wherever we are covering the alcohol (like I said, I'm not having a dry wedding, there will be a prosecco/ mulled wine reception and 1/2 bottle of wine for everyone with their dinner) there will be equivalent non booze options. There is nothing worse as someone who doesn't drink much than weddings where there's no option for you except table water or having to buy sugary drinks all night. Why should booze be free but soft drinks not?

My guests will be 100% cared for with food and refreshments but I guess I'm (perhaps stupidly) making a point during my wedding that I won't pay for others peoples alcohol. We've argued with our venue that there will be some particular half price cocktails available all night (as most of our guests are cocktail drinkers rather than wine anyway) and to my mind, a couple of glasses of prossecco and 1/2 bottle of wine EACH is more than enough anyway.

Sure, I mean fair enough if thats how you feel, but I do think slightly that that attitude is pushing your views and your issue on your guests, when perhaps they feel differently on the subject. FWIW, what you're providing sounds pretty standard for a wedding in Ireland anyway, a free bar is seen as a extra, so I'm not sure anyone will think you're taking an anti alcohol stance anyway. From memory, your venue is in town also, so I'm sure they'll appreciate not having to travel necessarily.

When I invite people to any occasion (be that a wedding, dinner party, whatever) I want to cater for what they want, not what I think they should want, because I'll have a good time if I know my guests are happy. I'm not a vodka drinker at all, but I'll always have some as I've a friend who basically only drinks vodka tonic, and I wouldnt want her left out. Equally, I've a friend who is completely teetotal and I always cater for her specifically too - she especially likes San Pelegrino sparkling water, so I'll make sure I have that in plentiful supply.

I guess, I just think that people attending a wedding have usually spent a fortune to do so and given up their time etc, so I'd want to give them whatever it is to make sure they have a fun night, be that alcohol or otherwise. Like if I were a vegetarian, I wouldnt not have a meat option.

EagererBeaver

Precisely - the fact you're not a big fan of drink is irrelevant. If I'm inviting someone over for dinner I'll always have a mix of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks available. They're your guests - you don't invite someone to enjoy your hospitality but only on your terms.

Malari

Exactly. You don't invite a vegetarian for dinner and only cook a meat option!

I know that not all our guests drink wine, and maybe most of them would drink either wine or vodka/gin, but I just didn't want any restrictions or disappointments and if people wanted stout or tequila or whiskey, it was available.

Bored_lad

All the weddings I've been to have had a free bar. Some only had a free bar until s certain point where the tab ran out which was usually near the end of the night anyway or else a limitless free bar starting before the church and continuing throughout the weekend until celebrations were finished. I think it's only fair if people are coming to your wedding that you provide food and drink for them.

GingerLily

Bored_lad wrote: »

All the weddings I've been to have had a free bar. Some only had a free bar until s certain point where the tab ran out which was usually near the end of the night anyway or else a limitless free bar starting before the church and continuing throughout the weekend until celebrations were finished. I think it's only fair if people are coming to your wedding that you provide food and drink for them.

I'm not providing drink after the meal. I'm not putting a tab behind the bar- there will be ample drink before and during the meal, we've booked an amazing band and I'm sorting out buses home for people and a bbq the next day with BYOB and leftover wine.

I am not putting money behind the bar but apparently I'm not being fair on my guests?

completely confused

OP here, thanks for all the replies!

To whoever asked I'm not getting married in Cork. Venue is just outside Dublin.

For people saying that it costs so much to attend weddings, I agree but it won't really be the case for mine as majority of guests are also from Dublin and can drive to this place in about 20 mins. They can stay in the hotel down the road from venue or can go home. So not as much expense as having to stay at the hotel etc

I just liked the idea of giving the guests a good hooley and seeing as it's no corkage it seemed like it wouldn't be as extortionate as say a hotel bar would be. We have contacts in the drink industry so could get kegs and spirits for a good price.

It's interesting to see people's views on it though. When I mentioned it to a couple of friends they were really surprised and encouraged me not to do it because of the expense.

In regards to age group we have about 50/50 split between parent type age (fifties/sixties) and our friends who range between mid 20s and 30 mostly.

I'm the first out of my friends to get married and nobody in our family has yet either so I haven't really anything to compare to. Is the drinks reception after the ceremony usually a free for all? Or is it usually just one glass per person?

SarahMollie

completely confused wrote: »

I'm the first out of my friends to get married and nobody in our family has yet either so I haven't really anything to compare to. Is the drinks reception after the ceremony usually a free for all? Or is it usually just one glass per person?

I think the standard is a 1x glass of procecco or similar on arrival + half bottle of wine per head at dinner. A good number of will also maybe do 1 round from the bar.

Again, I think a free bar is a great idea and lovely if you can do it. People will really remember it and think you're very generous. My only reservation is people doing themselves a mischief - but sure that can happen even if the bar isnt free.

Regarding cost, for me that wouldnt be an issue, because I'd never want a big wedding, so far small numbers I think its workable. Also, I'd certainly prioritise paying for drinks over other things that I don't think people really appreciate, like wedding favors, or having 5 bridesmaids etc.

baby and crumble

I get where everyone is coming from, I guess I find it funny when there's talk like "It's YOUR day, do it YOUR way" for everything else EXCEPT booze. Like, not having a cake is fine, not having a round of drinks bought for you for the toast is "unfair" on the guests? Standing your ground with parents on not having a church ceremony if you feel it's hypocritical is grand- me saying I won't pay for my guests booze is terrible? Why?

Like I've said, I have zero issues with drink at a wedding. I'll have drink flowing before the meal and during, I just don't think it's fair at all to expect it, or to be made feel like you're stingy if you don't put on a free bar.

And maybe I'm off the wall, but I don't understand how and why everyone moans about the expense of going to weddings. If you don't have to get accommodation (which 99% of people won't for mine) how is it more expensive than a regular night out? I honestly don't think I've been mad out of pocket for the weddings I've gone to in the past. If I can't afford to go I just don't go. What's the big deal?

And as for the reception drink, I think it's 1-2 glasses per person. At least that's what we've been recommended by our hotel who are supplying it.

GingerLily

For us-
2 glasses of prosecco at the reception,1/2 bottle at dinner plus 1 glass prosecco to toast
We've no corkage too

Malari

baby and crumble wrote: »

I get where everyone is coming from, I guess I find it funny when there's talk like "It's YOUR day, do it YOUR way" for everything else EXCEPT booze. Like, not having a cake is fine, not having a round of drinks bought for you for the toast is "unfair" on the guests? Standing your ground with parents on not having a church ceremony if you feel it's hypocritical is grand- me saying I won't pay for my guests booze is terrible? Why?

I certainly didn't come from the point of view that it would be "unfair" not to have a free bar, but we were able to do it and wanted to, so we thought guests would appreciate it. I don't think it's stingy not to have a free bar, I just think doing it because you don't feel like people should need booze to enjoy themselves is a bit odd. It's like not providing a cake or dessert because you don't need a sweet to enjoy dinner, or not providing a buffet because people just eat too much!

And I agree with you on the cost of a wedding as a guest. If we don't need to stay away from home, we never incur more than the cost of a few drinks, taxi and the gift, of course.

SarahMollie

baby and crumble wrote: »

I get where everyone is coming from, I guess I find it funny when there's talk like "It's YOUR day, do it YOUR way" for everything else EXCEPT booze. Like, not having a cake is fine, not having a round of drinks bought for you for the toast is "unfair" on the guests? Standing your ground with parents on not having a church ceremony if you feel it's hypocritical is grand- me saying I won't pay for my guests booze is terrible? Why?

Like I've said, I have zero issues with drink at a wedding. I'll have drink flowing before the meal and during, I just don't think it's fair at all to expect it, or to be made feel like you're stingy if you don't put on a free bar.

And maybe I'm off the wall, but I don't understand how and why everyone moans about the expense of going to weddings. If you don't have to get accommodation (which 99% of people won't for mine) how is it more expensive than a regular night out? I honestly don't think I've been mad out of pocket for the weddings I've gone to in the past. If I can't afford to go I just don't go. What's the big deal?

And as for the reception drink, I think it's 1-2 glasses per person. At least that's what we've been recommended by our hotel who are supplying it.

To be fair, I dont think anyone is saying that if the bar isnt free then thats stingey.... like in that case 90% of couples getting married are stingey.

I love the idea of a central Dublin wedding and thats what I'll do just as soon as we get around to it, but they are a bit unusual. I've been to 5 this year (2 out of the country, and 3 outside Dublin) so we had to pay for accommodation in all cases. In Ireland, thats typically €150 per room.

Secondly, most people don't give a gift of €100 per head before they go on a night out, so thats another cost thats not typical of a night out. Finally, people do get more dressed up and will often buy a new outfit. Clearly this is not a requirement, but many people still do it.

Where I'm coming from is that what youre doing is actually completely the norm. What I'm not a huge fan of is the "looking down" on people who "need" drink to have a good time. If you give something, give it freely and without judgement. Just because you have an issue with it, like it or not, but giving someone a drink with their dinner is the norm, so choosing not to is your right, but you cant then expect people not to have an opinion about it.

I think there are 3 things that really impact peoples enjoyment of a wedding, and thats food, drink and music. I'll be focusing my budget in those areas, because I want my guests to think, Wow, SarahMollies wedding was great craic.

lazygal

We had a free bar. We still get comments on it. No one will remember your flowers or the Pinterest theme you brought to the table plans or the fancy candles you had during the ceremony. Food, drink and band were our top spends. Only one or two idiots took advantage, but TBH they'd have been hammered regardless of how much we provided. Everyone else just appreciated not having to spend money at our wedding.

EagererBeaver

Nobody is calling anybody stingey, however it is logical to expect that if you're having speeches and toasts, you provide your guests something to toast with...

EagererBeaver

Also it's generally not "a round of drinks" for the toast - it's generally, by tradition, sparkling wine and is most often some ****e prosecco.

Mightydrumming

Same as a few on here, was at a wedding in which there was a free bar. 100 guests give or take.

Started from the end of the ceremony and continued for about 2/3 hours, finished about half an hour before the meal. No one took advantage from what I could see.

Great idea if the bride and groom are able to do it.