Constant anxiety

LegacyUser

As the thread title suggests I am constantly anxious. I worry about everything all the time. I over-analyse the smallest of problems and blow them out of proportion. I take on other people's worries too, especially those of my family. I seem to have a permanent knot in my stomach and am always tensed and stressed. Sometimes things do feel a bit easier to deal with, but I'm having a particularly bad time of it at the moment. I was preoccupied with a small mistake I made in my job at the end of May (I'm a teacher so not back until end of August), but that worry, while it's still there every day, has been overtaken in intensity by a worry for my brother, who is stressed out himself at the moment.There are numerous other things that I am worried about too, and I seem to be worrying about these every moment of every day. Most probably aren't a big deal to a normal person and I am aware that my anxiety is excessive. Often I am really sad too, and irrationally angry and I take this out on those closest to me, which makes me feel so guilty.

I don't know why I feel this way, because the rational side of me knows that in the grand scheme of things I am a very fortunate person. I can't even pinpoint when it started, but I know that I used to enjoy life, but I can't remember when.

I know I should probably see somebody about this, but I am concerned about having to declare this when I have to fill in the medical questionnaire before I start new positions. Teachers have to fill out a fitness to teacher medical form, including mentioning going to a health professional for mental health issues and the treatment prescribed. Sometimes you have to go for an assessment. I'm afraid that if I go to see a professional that this will prevent me from getting a job (young teachers like me often have to start new positions every year). I suppose I'm concerned that I won't be passed as for to teach if I've gone to see a doctor about my mental health.

Apologies for the long post, I suppose I'm just wondering if anybody else suffers from this crippling anxiety, so that I know I'm not alone and I would especially be grateful for any advice from teachers in a similar position.

LegacyUser

Anyone? I'd be grateful to hear from anybody who suffers from anxiety, just to know I'm not alone, as I feel very lonely because I can't talk to anybody about this. Any advice/suggestions/reassurance would be much appreciated. Thanks.

dd972

Just out of curiosity are other family members anxious? My late mum used to flip out in rage out of all proportion to events and that lack of perspective seemed to have filtered down to me and another brother, apparently a big part of this condition is regarding other people's opinions as more important and valid than your own, I don't think I'll ever be entirely free of it and it's a case of managing this b**tard that'll be there until the grave.

BaaLamb

Constantlyanxious wrote: »

As the thread title suggests I am constantly anxious. I worry about everything all the time. I over-analyse the smallest of problems and blow them out of proportion. I take on other people's worries too, especially those of my family. I seem to have a permanent knot in my stomach and am always tensed and stressed. Sometimes things do feel a bit easier to deal with, but I'm having a particularly bad time of it at the moment. I was preoccupied with a small mistake I made in my job at the end of May (I'm a teacher so not back until end of August), but that worry, while it's still there every day, has been overtaken in intensity by a worry for my brother, who is stressed out himself at the moment.There are numerous other things that I am worried about too, and I seem to be worrying about these every moment of every day. Most probably aren't a big deal to a normal person and I am aware that my anxiety is excessive. Often I am really sad too, and irrationally angry and I take this out on those closest to me, which makes me feel so guilty.

I don't know why I feel this way, because the rational side of me knows that in the grand scheme of things I am a very fortunate person. I can't even pinpoint when it started, but I know that I used to enjoy life, but I can't remember when.

I know I should probably see somebody about this, but I am concerned about having to declare this when I have to fill in the medical questionnaire before I start new positions. Teachers have to fill out a fitness to teacher medical form, including mentioning going to a health professional for mental health issues and the treatment prescribed. Sometimes you have to go for an assessment. I'm afraid that if I go to see a professional that this will prevent me from getting a job (young teachers like me often have to start new positions every year). I suppose I'm concerned that I won't be passed as for to teach if I've gone to see a doctor about my mental health.

Apologies for the long post, I suppose I'm just wondering if anybody else suffers from this crippling anxiety, so that I know I'm not alone and I would especially be grateful for any advice from teachers in a similar position.

I really feel for you as chronic anxiety is absolutely crippling. I don't know what it would mean if you had to declare it on a form, it doesn't actually impair your fitness to teach so I can't see why it would be an issue. If anything the anxiety is likely to make you hypervigilant and overly conscientious about your work. You do need to get it sorted though and I suggest you could try a workbook if you don't want to go to the doctor. You can buy various workbooks online. An excellent book with exercises you can do is 'Mind over Mood' which I can highly recommend. I do recommend getting proper help with this as well but understand your reluctance. At least the book might help alleviate the worst.

LegacyUser

dd972 wrote: »

Just out of curiosity are other family members anxious? My late mum used to flip out in rage out of all proportion to events and that lack of perspective seemed to have filtered down to me and another brother, apparently a big part of this condition is regarding other people's opinions as more important and valid than your own, I don't think I'll ever be entirely free of it and it's a case of managing this b**tard that'll be there until the grave.

Thanks for replying. One of my siblings suffers from mental health issues, but more along the lines of OCD. My mother was a worrier when I was growing up and I think that rubbed off on me. Even as a child I remember freezing up when the phone rang as I was convinced it was bad news. Same here, I don't think I'll ever be free of it totally as it's part of who I am.

LegacyUser

dd972 wrote: »

Just out of curiosity are other family members anxious? My late mum used to flip out in rage out of all proportion to events and that lack of perspective seemed to have filtered down to me and another brother, apparently a big part of this condition is regarding other people's opinions as more important and valid than your own, I don't think I'll ever be entirely free of it and it's a case of managing this b**tard that'll be there until the grave.

Thanks for replying. My brother suffers from OCD but not anxiety as far as I know. I'm sure there is anxiety attached to OCD though. My mother is the most supportive in the world but she gets upset when I mention my issues. I've done everything properly - I was the best in school, went to college, got two 1.1 degrees. My parents are so proud, but ive worked so hard to end up in a career where I have no stability and am constantly undervalued which doesn't help. I feel like you, as if I'll never be free of the grip of anxiety. Sincere thanks for replying to me.

LegacyUser

dd972 wrote: »

Just out of curiosity are other family members anxious? My late mum used to flip out in rage out of all proportion to events and that lack of perspective seemed to have filtered down to me and another brother, apparently a big part of this condition is regarding other people's opinions as more important and valid than your own, I don't think I'll ever be entirely free of it and it's a case of managing this b**tard that'll be there until the grave.

dd972 wrote: »

Just out of curiosity are other family members anxious? My late mum used to flip out in rage out of all proportion to events and that lack of perspective seemed to have filtered down to me and another brother, apparently a big part of this condition is regarding other people's opinions as more important and valid than your own, I don't think I'll ever be entirely free of it and it's a case of managing this b**tard that'll be there until the grave.

Thanks for replying. My brother suffers from OCD but not anxiety as far as I know. I'm sure there is anxiety attached to OCD though. My mother is the most supportive in the world but she gets upset when I mention my issues. I've done everything properly - I was the best in school, went to college, got two 1.1 degrees. My parents are so proud, but ive worked so hard to end up in a career where I have no stability and am constantly undervalued which doesn't help. I feel like you, as if I'll never be free of the grip of anxiety. Sincere thanks for replying to me.

LegacyUser

BaaLamb wrote: »

I really feel for you as chronic anxiety is absolutely crippling. I don't know what it would mean if you had to declare it on a form, it doesn't actually impair your fitness to teach so I can't see why it would be an issue. If anything the anxiety is likely to make you hypervigilant and overly conscientious about your work. You do need to get it sorted though and I suggest you could try a workbook if you don't want to go to the doctor. You can buy various workbooks online. An excellent book with exercises you can do is 'Mind over Mood' which I can highly recommend. I do recommend getting proper help with this as well but understand your reluctance. At least the book might help alleviate the worst.

You have hit the nail on the head. It doesn't make me a bad teacher but an overly-anxious one. For example if I give a student extra notes or stay on at lunch/after school to help them I will question if I did enough to help them and berate myself for what I should have said or done. I never feel good enough. Thanks so much for your advice.

Harika

Yes that bugged me also very long, every small mistake I could punch me, and also today, I still feel this sometimes, and it is not helpful if your boss declares "You solved 99 cases perfectly, and in one there was an error, that you corrected within five minutes, this should not happen".
Myself helped the workbook "Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Melanie Fennell" supported by counselling.

AFAIK teachers suffer very often from mental issues, so it shouldn't be a surprise if someone ticks this box. I have no idea how the recruiters really react when you say that you went to a health professional. In my head a conversation could go that way:
Recruiter "I see you went to a Counselor, tell me about it"
Me "Yes in the past I suffered from anxiety and was keeping a grudge over a situations that were not solved perfectly far too long, so I solved that with a counselor and a workbook"
Recruiter "How can you guarantee that this will never happen again?"
Me "I cannot guarantee, but if it happens again I know where to find help and how to solve it. Also I am visiting the counselor every months to have a sanity check with myself to avoid recurrences"
Recruiter "Explain what changed"
Me "In the past these situations bugged me for days, and influenced my performance, now I can look at them, learn how to avoid them in the future, and then basically file them. Like a book on a bookshelf, the memory is still there, but it doesn't worry me anymore"
IMO it is better to show that you had these problems and solved them, than to claim you never had something like it while being in a group that is under high pressure. People often claim teachers are lazy and just enjoy the long vacations, while not teaching anything to their precious monsters, so they fail their classes. While in reality, trying to repair the bad behavior that the parents let slip in, in the knowledge the school will then fix it, is a bloody hard job that is not respected as it should be.

Calypso Realm

Constantlyanxious wrote: »

I know I should probably see somebody about this, but I am concerned about having to declare this when I have to fill in the medical questionnaire before I start new positions. Teachers have to fill out a fitness to teacher medical form, including mentioning going to a health professional for mental health issues and the treatment prescribed. Sometimes you have to go for an assessment. I'm afraid that if I go to see a professional that this will prevent me from getting a job (young teachers like me often have to start new positions every year). I suppose I'm concerned that I won't be passed as for to teach if I've gone to see a doctor about my mental health

Unless you had vast amounts of time off (which it appears you haven't so no impact on your fitness to teach, which employers would be looking at) related to your anxiety- or any other illness for that matter- simply completing that section of the form should not impact on your job prospects. Even if this was the case, once you demonstrate you are coping well now, despite your past issues, all should be OK. Sometimes, for instance, people suffer reactive mental health episodes but are fine afterwards.

cupcake queen

Hi OP, sorry to hear you are feeling like this. As a fellow teacher I can empathise with how stressful the job can be. My OH teaches too and we often remark to each other that teaching can be very tough on those of us who hold ourselves to high standards (which I think applies to many of us in our profession) as you will always feel like you could have done more. The school year is so hectic and with so many changing variables on a day to day basis (not to mention teenage mood swings, staff issues, constant curricular 'initiatives' etc). It can be really hard to juggle it all.

I'm sorry I have no real answers but I definitely suggest you google 'Care Call'. I'm not able to post the link here. It is a free confidential counselling/listening service for teachers supported by the dept of ed. There is a phone line and you can do face to face sessions if you so choose. It is free and totally confidential. It might be of some help to you.

LegacyUser

Harika wrote: »

Yes that bugged me also very long, every small mistake I could punch me, and also today, I still feel this sometimes, and it is not helpful if your boss declares "You solved 99 cases perfectly, and in one there was an error, that you corrected within five minutes, this should not happen".
Myself helped the workbook "Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Melanie Fennell" supported by counselling.

AFAIK teachers suffer very often from mental issues, so it shouldn't be a surprise if someone ticks this box. I have no idea how the recruiters really react when you say that you went to a health professional. In my head a conversation could go that way:
Recruiter "I see you went to a Counselor, tell me about it"
Me "Yes in the past I suffered from anxiety and was keeping a grudge over a situations that were not solved perfectly far too long, so I solved that with a counselor and a workbook"
Recruiter "How can you guarantee that this will never happen again?"
Me "I cannot guarantee, but if it happens again I know where to find help and how to solve it. Also I am visiting the counselor every months to have a sanity check with myself to avoid recurrences"
Recruiter "Explain what changed"
Me "In the past these situations bugged me for days, and influenced my performance, now I can look at them, learn how to avoid them in the future, and then basically file them. Like a book on a bookshelf, the memory is still there, but it doesn't worry me anymore"
IMO it is better to show that you had these problems and solved them, than to claim you never had something like it while being in a group that is under high pressure. People often claim teachers are lazy and just enjoy the long vacations, while not teaching anything to their precious monsters, so they fail their classes. While in reality, trying to repair the bad behavior that the parents let slip in, in the knowledge the school will then fix it, is a bloody hard job that is not respected as it should be.

Thank you for your reply and advice. Yes, you are correct it is an extremely stressful job. I suppose like every job it has it's pros and cons. I do love my job though, but it causes me many a sleepless night