Flatmate's new boyfriend has been here every night for the past 5 weeks

confusedguy1

So my flatmate has a new bf who has stayed over every night for the past 5 weeks. To be fair he is litterally just sleeping here - they are out till late every night - and he leaves for work every morning. It is not as if they are on the couch when i come home every evening so not sure how i should approach it. I don't like confrontation.

My flatmate used to stay over a lot at the bf's place until I think the bf's housemate commented (I've heard through a mutual friend) that it was happening too much. I think they were both offended and are now staying all the time at mine.

Am I being out of order here? It could be argued that there is no harm if he is just sleeping over.

average_runner

confusedguy1 wrote: »

So my flatmate has a new bf who has stayed over every night for the past 5 weeks. To be fair he is litterally just sleeping here - they are out till late every night - and he leaves for work every morning. It is not as if they are on the couch when i come home every evening so not sure how i should approach it. I don't like confrontation.

My flatmate used to stay over a lot at the bf's place until I think the bf's housemate commented (I've heard through a mutual friend) that it was happening too much. I think they were both offended and are now staying all the time at mine.

Am I being out of order here? It could be argued that there is no harm if he is just sleeping over.

If he is just staying in her room and no where else, then thats ok, as its her private room

looksee

Presumably he is using the shower and the bathroom, if he is there every night he must have changes of clothes there. He is using the house as a residence and should be either paying his way or cutting back on staying there - once or twice a week would be reasonable, every night is not. Does the landlord know about this?

Smondie

confusedguy1 wrote: »

.. . I think they were both offended and are now staying all the time at mine.

Am I being out of order here? It could be argued that there is no harm if he is just sleeping over.

IIt's not yours though, it's both yours and you flatmate and what they do in thier private room is no concern of yours tbh. If he was taking showers and using the living room etc, you may have more of a case to argue.

emeldc

Assuming you're both paying similar rents, ask him does he want to swap apartments.

confusedguy1

Smondie wrote: »

IIt's not yours though, it's both yours and you flatmate and what they do in thier private room is no concern of yours tbh. If he was taking showers and using the living room etc, you may have more of a case to argue.

The bathroom is an ensuite so I don't use it, and showers are not taken every single day. I just think regardless that days a week for this many weeks is pushing it. Although they are seldom around early evening they have been about on weekends.

I feel I am now living with a couple which I didn't sign up for.

confusedguy1

emeldc wrote: »

Assuming you're both paying similar rents, ask him does he want to swap apartments.

I was in this apartment first, why should I move?

daheff

confusedguy1 wrote: »

I feel I am now living with a couple which I didn't sign up for.

If you dont like this arrangement speak up. They may not know you are unhappy with it.


but if its got to this stage, they may well move out and you have to find another roommate.


I'd suggest coming to a sensible arrangement...maybe not have him stay over every night...but 3/4 a week in yours and the other half of the week in his place?

confusedguy1

daheff wrote: »

If you dont like this arrangement speak up. They may not know you are unhappy with it.


but if its got to this stage, they may well move out and you have to find another roommate.


I'd suggest coming to a sensible arrangement...maybe not have him stay over every night...but 3/4 a week in yours and the other half of the week in his place?

I just think it is bad form having someone over on such a continuous basis. I would never do such a thing and cannot understand why they may not think this might be an issue.

Smondie

confusedguy1 wrote: »

Smondie wrote: »

IIt's not yours though, it's both yours and you flatmate and what they do in thier private room is no concern of yours tbh. If he was taking showers and using the living room etc, you may have more of a case to argue.

The bathroom is an ensuite so I don't use it, and showers are not taken every single day. I just think regardless that days a week for this many weeks is pushing it. Although they are seldom around early evening they have been about on weekends.

I feel I am now living with a couple which I didn't sign up for.

They are seldom around in the evening's just the weekend's. I doubt the flatmate signed up to spend every evening with her flatmate. Not sure how the weekday sleepovers affect you?

Lux23

Is it actually bothering you? Because if he isn't lying around the place in your way then I think you might be creating an issue when none is there? But again if it is making your uncomfortable or interfering in your enjoyment of your home then say something.

lawred2

every night for 5 weeks is unacceptable

if they want to live together then they should just get on and do that

confusedguy1

Lux23 wrote: »

Is it actually bothering you? Because if he isn't lying around the place in your way then I think you might be creating an issue when none is there? But again if it is making your uncomfortable or interfering in your enjoyment of your home then say something.

Yes, hence the thread!

While they are not around all the time and primarily sleeping here I seem to be still effectively living with a couple.

jimmycrackcorm

confusedguy1 wrote:

While they are not around all the time and primarily sleeping here I seem to be still effectively living with a couple.

How is that? If he was only around at the weekend during the day and not sleeping in the room during the week, would it make any difference?

You seem to have the living room, kitchen and presumably bathroom to yourself so hardly living with a couple.

Idbatterim

you didnt sign up to live with a couple, obviously the other housemate had enough of the situation and now its gone to the other extreme and you are on the receiving end...

Sunny Dayz

confusedguy1 wrote: »

My flatmate used to stay over a lot at the bf's place until I think the bf's housemate commented (I've heard through a mutual friend) that it was happening too much. I think they were both offended and are now staying all the time at mine.

This couple know they are taking advantage of you. They were staying all the time at his place until his housemate spoke up. They didn't get the message that it was unfair on the other housemate so now they have just landed in on you every night instead.
Tell them to either split their sleepovers evenly between both houses or find somewhere to live together.

hardCopy

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

How is that? If he was only around at the weekend during the day and not sleeping in the room during the week, would it make any difference?

You seem to have the living room, kitchen and presumably bathroom to yourself so hardly living with a couple.

It's just weird and not what the OP signed up for.

Having random people wander around the house at night that you never signed up to live with is not acceptable on an ongoing basis.

OP, your housemate is being a tool. Let them know you're not happy about it. But be prepared for drama.

Surprised people are giving the op a hard time over this. It doesn't matter if the op never even sees the housemates boyfriend its totally unacceptable for him to stay there every night. Twice a week having a partner over is the generally accepted number of days that a person should have a guest staying regardless if they are seen or not.

You need to comment on it op, if you are correct and they have already been told about to cut back nights she stays in his house it won't be a surprise to them if you are also unhappy with the situation.

emeldc

confusedguy1 wrote: »

I was in this apartment first, why should I move?

I meant to finish my comment with ':rolleyes:'
I wasn't really being serious but if you suggested a swap he might take the hint and bugger off. After all, his flatmates weren't slow about putting it up to his GF.

Lux23

confusedguy1 wrote: »

Yes, hence the thread!

While they are not around all the time and primarily sleeping here I seem to be still effectively living with a couple.

Well say it so, they may get offended but sure what can you do?

kravmaga

confusedguy1 wrote: »

Yes, hence the thread!

While they are not around all the time and primarily sleeping here I seem to be still effectively living with a couple.

Its bang out of order, you need to say it that you did not sign up to share with a couple, lease agreement etc.

If he is using your utilities, ie he is using cooker, shower, water, washing machine etc and staying every night either pay up towards rent or ask them to move out and get a place together.

You have to say it, no easy way to do this, just a conversation that has to be had really, have you house rules in place in the lease agreement with landlord?

jimmycrackcorm

hardCopy wrote:

It's just weird and not what the OP signed up for.

What exactly did the op sign up for - no guests?

hardCopy wrote:

Having random people wander around the house at night that you never signed up to live with is not acceptable on an ongoing basis.

Flatmates be, not random.

hardCopy wrote:

OP, your housemate is being a tool. Let them know you're not happy about it. But be prepared for drama.

Not quite, very considerate to give the op so much free reign of the house during the week. No having to wait to use the cooker etc.

Jayda Screeching Giraffe wrote:

Twice a week having a partner over is the generally accepted number of days that a person should have a guest staying regardless if they are seen or not.

Where does this general acceptance idea come from? Surely the realistic acceptance is the level of inconvenience instead of an imaginary number of days?

MeatTwoVeg

What's the issue exactly. Sounds like you never have to see them.

the_syco

confusedguy1 wrote: »

Although they are seldom around early evening they have been about on weekends.

confusedguy1 wrote: »

So my flatmate has a new bf who has stayed over every night for the past 5 weeks. To be fair he is litterally just sleeping here - they are out till late every night - and he leaves for work every morning. It is not as if they are on the couch when i come home every evening so not sure how i should approach it. I don't like confrontation.

I've switched the order of the quotes, as I think your main issue is that they're in your apartment most weekends, but that you see him staying over every weeknight is taking the piss?

Also, are they fellow tenants, or are you the landlord?

dickiepower

I agree with OP in this case. I think it shows a lack of respect to not sit down and chat about it.

I myself in my younger years had a similar situation with a former housemate where I had the other half staying over a few days a week and not discuss it with him. To be quite honest I can see why he was so upset about it.

It can make you feel uncomfortable if you don't know the person "living" in your place. Also I can imagine if they have a disagreement it would be very uncomfortable for you especially as you didn't sign up to living with a couple.

runawaybishop

Bandana boy wrote: »

OP you sound out of order to me , Sounds like they are being pretty reasonable in staying out of your way.
If they are staying out of your way why do you care ?

I would not talk to them about it , you will come across as sexually repressed and jealous and ruin the relationship with your flat mate .
5 weeks is nothing and the relationship might not burn so hot in the future and return to a little more normal routine.

Inviting full time livin guests to share someone elses house is reasonable, without even the courtesy to run it by your flatmate?

The flat was rented to 2 people, not 3. Having someone over 7 nights a week is not on, its pure cheek.

fg1406

I had a similar issue about 10 years ago when I first moved into a houseshare. One of the girls just moved her bf in without telling us. She even cut him a key! He stayed 5-7 nights a week for 6 months. It eventually boiled over into a confrontation which nobody wanted and she moved out within a fortnight.

It wasn't pleasant for anyone. It's possible she's so wrapped up in her relationship she isn't even considering you. Sit her down and say it to her next time you can get her on her own.

McGrath5

This issue rears it's head quite regularly on this forum.

MeatTwoVeg wrote: »

What's the issue exactly. Sounds like you never have to see them.

This issue is the OP is now living with a couple, which from my own experience can make for an unpleasant environment.

This is very inconsiderate and poor etiquette is been shown by the housemate, but the only way to resolve it is for the OP to speak up and lay out some ground rules, 2 nights per week max is acceptable IMO.

oppenheimer1

confusedguy1 wrote: »

I just think it is bad form having someone over on such a continuous basis. I would never do such a thing and cannot understand why they may not think this might be an issue.

I don't understand why you've come here looking for opinions to be honest, you seem to have made up your mind already and think they're being unreasonable.

Look if this couple are staying out of your way and sticking to her room then what is the issue? What are they doing that lessens your enjoyment of the place? What is it exactly that bothers you? Because of you confront her it will just look like you're jealous of her relationship (especially if you're single) and could ruin your own interhousemate relationship. She's entitled to have guests and entitled to let them stay. Confront her and she might reduce the number of nights that he stays, but she might become less considerate and youll find them not just locking themselves in her room on the nights he's "allowed" to stay.

jimmycrackcorm

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Where does this general acceptance idea come from? Surely the realistic acceptance is the level of inconvenience instead of an imaginary number of days?

It come from the fact its a reasonable compromise. It's obviously totally unfair and unacceptable to outlaw guests totally but it's equally unfair for someone to have a guest staying over too often. Two days a week is a reasonable compromise that most people would be happy with. BF stays over two night, the house mate stays with their BF two night and people say in their own places alone 3 nights a week would look perfectly reasonable. If they want to live together then get their own place or move to a houseshare that accepts a couple.

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

Because of you confront her it will just look like you're jealous of her relationship (especially if you're single) . .

This is a bizarre conclusion to arrive at, why would anyone's first assumption be "oh they must be jealous". You can be 100% sure the op's housemate knows they are chancing their arm and are probably surprised they haven't been confused about it by now. The fact the op doesn't see the BF much is totally irrelevant, he still should not be in the house anymore than twice a week or so.

runawaybishop

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

I don't understand why you've come here looking for opinions to be honest, you seem to have made up your mind already and think they're being unreasonable.

Look if this couple are staying out of your way and sticking to her room then what is the issue? What are they doing that lessens your enjoyment of the place? What is it exactly that bothers you? Because of you confront her it will just look like you're jealous of her relationship (especially if you're single) and could ruin your own interhousemate relationship. She's entitled to have guests and entitled to let them stay. Confront her and she might reduce the number of nights that he stays, but she might become less considerate and youll find them not just locking themselves in her room on the nights he's "allowed" to stay.

They are not though -op said they are around during the day at the weekend.

Frankly even if they were in the room all the time i wouldn't be happy. Op should get some say in who she shares a house with.

Mac-Chops

I was the guy staying over in this situation a while back. Mrs was working and living close to where I was finishing college..handy for me.

She didn't mind of course nor did the flatmates seem to but I still felt like a spare pr*ck and would make sure I didn't stay over more than 3 nights in the week. OP has a fair point I reckon and the guy has some neck staying every night for such an extended period of time.

Smondie

runawaybishop wrote: »

They are not though -op said they are around during the day at the weekend.

Frankly even if they were in the room all the time i wouldn't be happy. Op should get some say in who she shares a house with.

She could choose the weekend as her 2 nights stay over. If so, that wouldn't make much difference to the op's situation.

Smondie

Smondie wrote: »

She could choose the weekend as her 2 nights stay over. If so, that wouldn't make much difference to the op's situation.

Not staying two nights in a row on a regular basis* would be another reasonable house rule.

*obviously people will have friends from elsewhere come to stay for a weekend every now and then, this is totally different to a regular weekend stay over from bfs/gfs.

Smondie

Camron Wet Smugness wrote: »

Smondie wrote: »

She could choose the weekend as her 2 nights stay over. If so, that wouldn't make much difference to the op's situation.

Not staying two nights in a row on a regular basis* would be another reasonable house rule.

*obviously people will have friends from elsewhere come to stay for a weekend every now and then, this is totally different to a regular weekend stay over from bfs/gfs.

Would there be a chart kept?

oppenheimer1

Smondie wrote: »

Would there be a chart kept?

If say he keeps the sign in sheet by the door.:rolleyes:

oppenheimer1

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

If say he keeps the sign in sheet by the door.:rolleyes:

I'm not saying I have to make these rules, I don't need to as nobody I live with has guests staying multiple times per week and neither do I (nor would I as it's unfair on housemates). If someone was doing it too often I'd either tell them straight or make it awkward from them, sitting in the living room with them etc until they get the message (worked before).

Most houseshares people don't take the p*ss so there is no need for making rules or saying anything, the op's situation is totally unacceptable though.

Smondie

Camron Wet Smugness wrote: »

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

If say he keeps the sign in sheet by the door.:rolleyes:

I'm not saying I have to make these rules, I don't need to as nobody I live with has guests staying multiple times per week and neither do I (nor would I as it's unfair on housemates). If someone was going it too often I'd either tell them straight or make it awkward from them, sitting in the living room with them etc until they get the message (worked before).

Most houseshares people don't take the p*ss so there is no need for making rules or saying anything, the op's situation is totally unacceptable though.

The op says they spend the time in her bedroom. Would you suggest going in there and sitting in the middle of the two of them?

jackofalltrades

It sounds like as a couple they're doing what causes less hassle, rather than thinking things through.
They obviously didn't understand a word that the other flatmate said to them.
And they'll keep staying at yours until you say something, because right know they probably think you're being sound about it.
They could be extra defensive this time because you''ll be the second person to say it to them and they can't just go somewhere else.
So be prepared for that.

I'd say something sooner rather than later, the longer you leave it the more they'll settle in to this routine.
And if the relationship lasts and the initial honeymoon stage ends, I'd expect them to spend more time in the communal areas.

RabbleRouser2k

It can be annoying if they bring someone over 2 or 3 times a week if you feel like they are just taking the piddle out you.
Bringing him over the entire week....yeah, not cool.

Like I had one room mate who gave out to me for waking up her boyfriend when he stayed over. I was paying my rent, he wasn't, and I had to make an important phone call. He was a light sleeper to be honest. Tenants can complain, stayover folk can't.

He's not paying rent, but if he is troubling you, cos he's noisy or whatever, or maybe taking space, yeah, not cool. Also, there are things like ESB, and while the water charges are suspended, if he sticks around, you're gonna be paying his share of that too.
I'd have a word, with your room mate. Also, if she gets hostile about it, maybe mention it to your landlord.

He's not a tenant, so fi you have to get a new room mate, so be it.

SusanC10

I must confess that I am confused reading this thread and similar ones to it. Maybe I am old and granted it has been a long time since I rented in a houseshare scenario but I don't get the issue of having BFs / GFs etc staying over. Although that being said - 5 weeks of 7 nights a week is a bit strange.

When I started going out with a BF who was in Dublin and I was down the country and living at home with the folks to save money I would go up 3 out of every 4 weekends to Dublin and stay with him for the whole weekend. He lived with 3 others and 2 out of the 3 were a couple themselves. I was always made to feel very welcome.

When I moved to Dublin myself, my BF and I used to mostly split the week between our 2 places and possibly only spent 1/2 nights a week apart unless one of us was studying or had an important day the following day etc.

It was the same with my now-Husband. Once we became serious I think we rarely spent a night apart. Each of us was very welcome in each other's house-shares. As were the OHs of all other house-mates. There was no mentions of Bills, needing Kitchen / Common areas to ourselves etc.

I don't know. We all got on very well. We were friends (not necessarily before we were house-mates) and I would be in contact with all of my housemates from both of my house-shares in Dublin still - 15 years later and having left Dublin.

oppenheimer1

Camron Wet Smugness wrote: »

Not staying two nights in a row on a regular basis* would be another reasonable house rule.

*obviously people will have friends from elsewhere come to stay for a weekend every now and then, this is totally different to a regular weekend stay over from bfs/gfs.

While I've always had reasonable housemates it's posts like this that make me glad I don't share with strangers any more. I've had people stay with me for several e weeks in the past and it never caused any issues, as I have had flatmates do the same.

There are simply too many people out there that are not suited to sharing because they seemingly have great difficulty with their housemates maintaining romantic relationships. Being in a relationship is normal and couples sspendin a lot of time together is normal. so seeing bf/gfs around the shared house is part and parcel of sharing accommodation.

Shop40

Every night over 5 weeks is not "staying over", it actually means he's living there.
OP, you're right to have a problem. At the very least he should be contributing to the rent!

oppenheimer1

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

While I've always had reasonable housemates it's posts like this that make me glad I don't share with strangers any more. I've had people stay with me for several e weeks in the past and it never caused any issues, as I have had flatmates do the same.

There are simply too many people out there that are not suited to sharing because they seemingly have great difficulty with their housemates maintaining romantic relationships. Being in a relationship is normal and couples sspendin a lot of time together is normal. so seeing bf/gfs around the shared house is part and parcel of sharing accommodation.

I would consider myself a very reasonable housemate, as I said someone staying over twice or even three times a week I woundn't have a problem with (though I'd prefer it didn't happen too often if they were using common areas). The main reason I was suggesting fairly strict rules is because if you give an inch people take a mile. I've never had to actually introduce these rules as everyone bar one I've lived with haven't had peope stay over very often.

It's all well and good but what happens if 3 people in a house constantly have their bf/gfs over that 6 people in a 3 person house, a total mess.

I don't see the need some people have for staying in each other's houses every night when they aren't living together, in fact id find all that going to and fro very tiresome. I'm in a long term relationship and my gf would stay over at absolute most twice some weeks, normally once and often no times. I would stay at hers once or twice some weeks, sometimes not at all etc. Overall we would normally spend only two nights a week together. The person in the op is a new relationship, I'm years in one and don't see the need for spending every night in each other's house. if you want to see each other a lot more move in together when the time is right, a thing I will be doing soon.

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

It really isn't until you move out and start living with other people that you realise how little cop on some people have.

No one likes a couple (in this context), or at least nearly no one. People really should have the cop on to realise that. In my experience, it's nearly always 2 types of people that cause these types of problems; 1. People in their first relationship caught up in the honeymoon phase. These people have also never been on the receiving end of one of these couples, and 2. Ignorant people that just don't care about other people's problems. These people are dickheads and it frequently enough requries moving in with said person to realise that.


OP, I think most people see this situation as unacceptable. You'll never get a full consensus on anything anyway. You need to confront her about this. My advice would be talk to her about it and make her see reason. For this, you need to prepare in your head what to say. I definitely wouldn't put a fixed limit on the amount of days a visitor can stay over, but hint that the bf should be in his own place more often than not (i.e. max 3 nights a week - but don't say that specifically - unless it doesn't work). If she does kick up a fuss, tell her that if she needs to be with her bf all the time that they should get a place of their own, as her relationship should not be imapcting on your life.


Also, as for the tool that suggested that you would look jealous by making an issue of this, unless the poeple in question are 17 then yeah, that might be seen as your problem. Other than that, she'll understand your grievances, if she's doesn't she either a cow, or acting the cow.

Elliott S

Smondie wrote: »

She could choose the weekend as her 2 nights stay over. If so, that wouldn't make much difference to the op's situation.

When I was staying over at my fella's regularly a few years back, it was decided that it would be every other weekend, as his housemate felt he couldn't completely relax with a girlfriend there and weekends are relaxation time so the other week, the nights I stayed were during the week. Totally fair.

Smondie

THFC wrote: »

It really isn't until you move out and start living with other people that you realise how little cop on some people have.

No one likes a couple (in this context), or at least nearly no one. People really should have the cop on to realise that. In my experience, it's nearly always 2 types of people that cause these types of problems; 1. People in their first relationship caught up in the honeymoon phase. These people have also never been on the receiving end of one of these couples, and 2. Ignorant people that just don't care about other people's problems. These people are dickheads and it frequently enough requries moving in with said person to realise that.


OP, I think most people see this situation as unacceptable. You'll never get a full consensus on anything anyway. You need to confront her about this. My advice would be talk to her about it and make her see reason. For this, you need to prepare in your head what to say. I definitely wouldn't put a fixed limit on the amount of days a visitor can stay over, but hint that the bf should be in his own place more often than not (i.e. max 3 nights a week - but don't say that specifically - unless it doesn't work). If she does kick up a fuss, tell her that if she needs to be with her bf all the time that they should get a place of their own, as her relationship should not be imapcting on your life.


Also, as for the tool that suggested that you would look jealous by making an issue of this, unless the poeple in question are 17 then yeah, that might be seen as your problem. Other than that, she'll understand your grievances, if she's doesn't she either a cow, or acting the cow.

A tool, a dickhead, a cow


Wow, so much anger

Elliott S

SusanC10 wrote: »

I must confess that I am confused reading this thread and similar ones to it. Maybe I am old and granted it has been a long time since I rented in a houseshare scenario but I don't get the issue of having BFs / GFs etc staying over. Although that being said - 5 weeks of 7 nights a week is a bit strange.

When I started going out with a BF who was in Dublin and I was down the country and living at home with the folks to save money I would go up 3 out of every 4 weekends to Dublin and stay with him for the whole weekend. He lived with 3 others and 2 out of the 3 were a couple themselves. I was always made to feel very welcome.

When I moved to Dublin myself, my BF and I used to mostly split the week between our 2 places and possibly only spent 1/2 nights a week apart unless one of us was studying or had an important day the following day etc.

It's the same now, most people are fine with boyfriends/girlfriend being in the house one or two nights. It's been mentioned numerous times in this thread too so I don't know why you think that has changed. Between the two rentals, couples are still able to see each other four nights a week usually. In the case where one is living at home, I guess it depends on how the parents feel about GFs/BFs staying over.

Staying over five nights a weeks is not acceptable and I very much doubt it would have been twenty years ago either. Rose-tinted specs!

Mrs OBumble

With them mainly in the room and having an ensuite, I'd prefer them to stay lots of nights and be quiet about it, then just a couple with loud sex happening on those nights.

If they were getting in your way, it would be a problem. But if you hardly ever see them then I just don't see the issue.

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

Smondie wrote: »

A tool, a dickhead, a cow


Wow, so much anger

I've been a tenant for over 6 years now, call it anger if you want, but I've seen people put in awful situations by some of the most ignorant peolpe you'll find. Luckily I've never experienced anything of the sort myself, but I know the anguish problems like these cause people. Those words are quite moderate considering. And cow?? Don't be so easily offended

Elliott S

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

With them mainly in the room and having an ensuite, I'd prefer them to stay lots of nights and be quiet about it, then just a couple with loud sex happening on those nights.

If they were getting in your way, it would be a problem. But if you hardly ever see them then I just don't see the issue.

Even with them not being seen, bills are going to be pushed up. He's not not showering for five days in a row, and she might be doing washing for him on the sly too. If they are not noisy over five nights, then why would they be having "loud sex" over two nights? What a strange dichotomy.

And as said, for now, they're staying in her room. That might change.