Relationship breakup 10 years_ child involved.

snowflake1989

Hi all
Just need some advice please, well after 10 years my partner has told me he doesnt love me anymore, *no exact reason eventually happened maybe monetary issues and working schedules . But no cheating scandald or anything like that, just simply fell.out of love.
We have a child together and rent a house
We have tried going for dinner even went on holiday to salvage something i tot we were ok or hoping we were ok . But he doesnt.
Least to say im heartbroken he wont even give it another chance hes done as he puts it so nicely
But there is a child involved
He wishes that we stay living together etc for a while in anyways perhaps tell family after xmas give lil one chance to start school this year
Its just i cant get over him.if hes still here but im stil holding onto hope that he wil change his mind ...
Im going through all the emotions anger sadness regret looking back on the lil things that i may have done wrong regret starting to save for a deposit for a house thinking that may have brought it on..
But what do u think guys still.live together for sake of our child(we aleep in seperate rooms) or would it be better in long run to just deal with it now and go our seperate ways
Im just so heartbroken like i love him love all his family iv nowwhere else to go cant move back to my mams so will have to try rent this house by myself (i know he will support us wont leave us high and dry).... do we put on an act or leave now?

Sorry if its longwinded i just have no one to talk to as wrre trying to keep this quiet for a bit.
Thanks for taking the time to read

topmanamillion

I think living together long term is a bad idea. It'll just breed resentment and may give you false hope that the relationship can be resurrected.
You are clearly dealing with a range of emotions.
The best thing is a clean break. Give your partner time to organise somewhere else to live but ask him to move out as soon as he can.
It's difficult but if your partner wants out of the relationship there's really nothing more you can do than you've already tried. Theres also no point in mulling over everything that's happened in your relationship. Realistically it wasn't one thing or another but just your partners feelings have changed.

What will help is having a clear plan of what happens next.
Right now a big worry will be the uncertainty.
Hopefully, you and your now ex partner can remain on good terms.
Sit him down and discuss practicalities i.e how you're going to tell your child, child support, visitation etc.

It's a painful time but moving on is the best way forward.
Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Sorry to hear about that OP - i went through a break up with my ex last year. She cheated, we split up, she never wanted to try. We have kids together.

We lived together for a few months (5-6 approx) to get another house sorted and everything. It was the hardest time of my life. After the break up, there was a lot of resentment and hate from me with the cheating side of things - maybe you might not be the same but I'm sure you're hurting the same way anyone would. Dont wait for months to tell people - dont bottle things up (i did!). Tell your friends and family straight away to get it out in the open and start dealing with it now - rather than keep things bottled up for months.

Living together long term is a bad idea, the sooner the better he moves out so that you can have your space to deal with the break up without having to see and live with him daily.

Im almost a year on from my break up now - and space and time to myself was really needed to get over the relationship.

Most of all - I know its a really hard time. Look after yourself - try and remain positive. Get in touch with friends and family - do something nice for yourself. Best of luck.

December2012

Could you try relationship counselling first?