For Gods Sake, Stop Me, Somebody ....!

Stigura

Before I buy This Bad Boy. In John Deere Green!

I So want it! I'm sat here, in my Wife Beater vest, so I'm all stoked up and manly. But, I'm constantly glancing out at what Monsanto's finest has done ~ yet again ~ to the weeds and grass out in my compound.

Yes: Useless bloody Roundup. Takes a month to make the stuff shrivel up. Then ye left with a mat of rubbish that turns to slimey mush, once it rains again.

Year upon bloody year I've put up with that. Now, I'm ready to go Rambo on it!

I've looked at all the other stuff. " Weed Wand "? What am I? Harry bleeding Potter?! Did Bob De Niro pick up a cannister of lighter gas? This is the kiddie for me! Tie a bit of green scrim round my head and get out there. Go all scorched earth on that mudda fuddas ayse!

I'm ready to click that switch! Any last minute words from my Bro's? Or, should I just buy it and Burn!?! :cool:

pwurple

Looks like fun I must say... But also, that's a lot of weed control options you've tried there.

My best method to date, is to plant something I like, where the weed wants to grow. Occupy its space with something else. Still got a bit of spot weeding here and there, but nothing uncontrollable.

Scorched earth, either by herbacides, or fire, isn't the look I personally go for in my garden.

blackbox

I wish you hadn't shown me that.

Want.

Stigura

Aha! But this is my compound, see? What it is; I live in an old, family farm cottage. Nothing around me but fields and meadows. And, when I first got here, literally, outside my door was field. I'd step out the door onto field grass.

That was during the 'summer'. Once the rains came? It was like stepping out into the Somme.

So, we had the councils road laying team in. They, literally, laid a road ~ not some dodgy load of tar layers, boss. The lads who make the roads here. They laid road from The road. Right down here, to my place. And laid me a bit, inside my 'garden' (if ye like). Up to my front door and down to my stables. Lovely job!

But, of course, like any country road; The vegetation returns. I have that lovely strip, up the middle of my private road to The road. I love to see that. The odd motor traffic keeps each side clear.

But, my slab of road, outside here ....?

Bloody nightmare, see?! And I hit it with Roundup, every year. And, every Next year, it's all back in exactly the same places. Spreading. Roundup doesn't Kill weeds. It just suppresses the top vegetation and leaves That to rot. All the time, of course, the roots are working on breaking up my road! Sod That! I'm going Nuclear!

Besides; I've wanted one for over forty years now. I've just saved a few ton, else where. What's a couple of ton, to save my entire compound. Appear of glowingly manly stature, to my friends and neighbours. And have hellish good fun, sizzling everything out there?!

gctest50

Just use salt - a lot of it and nothing will grow

Stigura

Salt? Been down that road. Poured so much of the stuff out there, I thought I should get myself a pack of huskies. Be very thirsty huskies though, wouldn't they?

Then, they'd come in here. Drink gallons of water. Then pee all over the place! Not much manliness in that. No one would ever turn up at my gate and think; " Pack of Huskies? How Manly is That! I want a pack of huskies ~ and a lorry load of salt on my drive. And to have a suspicious tang of Dog pee about me. "


No. I want a Flame Thrower. Manly as it gets, surely? Especially in John Deere Green

lottpaul

Don't bother with it would be my advice so feel free to ignore!
Have tried a few flame throwers but tbh have always gone back to chemical/mechanical methods. I've found roundup is good in certain places - pavements, patios etc etc. For garden beds I just persevere with weeding and planting things that will eventually smother the pests, and if a few bad boys survive, that's ok too. The only things I will not tolerate are bindweed and scutch/couch grass.

But I have a feeling the credit card is already limbering up and about to make the purchase

pwurple

Enjoy your flame thrower. I'd pave / slab/ tar that pic myself.

Stigura

You ever tried digging grass, pineapple weed, willow herb, nettles and dock out of a Road?! :eek:

As said / showed above; The place just Looks so goddamn unsightly, after the round up treatment. It's an eyesore and an embarrassment to me. I'm figuring, if I 'kill' it, with weed killer? Then I can raze the dead stuff with the flame thrower.

Getting rid of all that vile, yellow stuff is really what I'm about here. It just looks so bloody awful. And I'll be looking at that schit till it turns black and rots back into the ground. I'm sick of it. I've had Years of it.

Ten Years, and countless Thousands, I've spent, dragging this place up by its boot straps. (Alright; I've Loved every minute of it!) But, whilst I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now? That Bloody grass is just doing my head in!


Look: I Want my flame thrower. I'm Getting my flame thrower. I bloody well Deserve my flame thrower!


Just emailed the sellers, to make sure UPS won't be getting anywhere near it. That shower spent a Month, trying to find a pub in a town. Their monkey was Literally sat outside, while I was in there. Telling his boss; " Naaaaah. Can't see it. Not here. I'm bringing it back." :mad:

All goes according to plan? I could have my flame thrower, by the end of this week.

I'll show ye photo's of what I manage to do with it!

Stigura

pwurple wrote: »

I'd tar that pic myself.

Are ye not reading what I'm saying? That IS genuine, County Council Road!

Flame Thrower!

pwurple

Stigura wrote: »

Are ye not reading what I'm saying? That IS genuine, County Council Road!

Flame Thrower!

So? Chuck tar on top. Done.

Anyway, get the red!

The problem is you are only using the round up once a year. If you did it 3 or 4 times a year when the weeds are small it would look way better

fineso.mom

OP before you buy it check your house insurance to make sure you'll be covered when you burn it down. If you're this exited at the thought of having one I can only imagine what you'll be like when you actually get it. ☺

Stigura

Deleted User wrote: »

The problem is you are only using the round up once a year.

This is the thing, see? I've never found a way round that.

By the time they've showed themselves. Got to the agreeable size the label requires. Then I wait for that magical and elusive break in the weather ....? I'm knee deep in the schit!

Finally get a dry overnight. Soak the place. Then we're at the stage I'm at now: Pale, wilted junk all over the place. And already ~ today ~ I'm seeing tiny shoots of fresh new grass pushing through!

Roundup That and I'll be looking at another month of vile, dead stuff making my place look like a pikey site!


" And The Lord did say unto him; F**k it! Next time I shall destroy it with Fire! Make a proper job."

Stigura

fineso.mom wrote: »

OP before you buy it check your house insurance .....

Haven't got any insurance. Live life on the edge, me. Flame Thrower!

Lumen

Will it not melt the tarmac?

You could always buy a three wheeler. No more strip down the middle!

johnb25

Stigura wrote: »

This is the thing, see? I've never found a way round that.

By the time they've showed themselves. Got to the agreeable size the label requires. Then I wait for that magical and elusive break in the weather ....? I'm knee deep in the schit!

Finally get a dry overnight. Soak the place. Then we're at the stage I'm at now: Pale, wilted junk all over the place. And already ~ today ~ I'm seeing tiny shoots of fresh new grass pushing through!

Roundup That and I'll be looking at another month of vile, dead stuff making my place look like a pikey site!


" And The Lord did say unto him; F**k it! Next time I shall destroy it with Fire! Make a proper job."

I have often got away with a lot less than the 24 hours dry that the label says; spray in the morning and get 6-8 hours dry before dew fall.

Gautama

It runs on paraffin, you do realise that, don't you?
Good luck with the manliness. ðŸ˜႒

Stigura

Gutted!!!

We all know 'couriers' can be a nightmare, if ye live outside the pale. But, I recently bought a keyboard, from england. First thing the tracking page shows is that it's now with UPS, in Dublin. Next day, it says they've sent it off in the wrong direction!

They get it back and then they tell me they don't come up my way, every day. Then, they said they couldn't find the fcuking address! I'd asked them to leave it in a Pub', in a town.

On and on this went. I sent them photo's of the pub. I showed them it on Google. I pointed out that I'd been sitting in there, even as their baboon was sat outside, reporting that the place didn't exist!

Finally, when they told me it didn't exist. Because they couldn't find it on " The Business Registry ", a MONTH after they got their hands on it? I'd had enough. Told them they were an incompetent shower who couldn't deliver a wave to a fcuking shore. And to sling my keyboard back to england.

England (KeyboardSpecialists.co.uk) were bloody brilliant. They sent it, again. Only, this time with " Fastway ". And I had my keyboard inside 24 hours!

But, no. I asked the flame thrower people. They use fcuking UPS! And they insist they've never had a problem. And, they're pretty obviously sticking to that. Good for them. It's just cost them a £300.00 sale.


Tldr? UPS are a shower of cnuts.

johnb25

Stigura wrote: »

Gutted!!!

We all know 'couriers' can be a nightmare, if ye live outside the pale. But, I recently bought a keyboard, from england. First thing the tracking page shows is that it's now with UPS, in Dublin. Next day, it says they've sent it off in the wrong direction!

They get it back and then they tell me they don't come up my way, every day. Then, they said they couldn't find the fcuking address! I'd asked them to leave it in a Pub', in a town.

On and on this went. I sent them photo's of the pub. I showed them it on Google. I pointed out that I'd been sitting in there, even as their baboon was sat outside, reporting that the place didn't exist!

Finally, when they told me it didn't exist. Because they couldn't find it on " The Business Registry ", a MONTH after they got their hands on it? I'd had enough. Told them they were an incompetent shower who couldn't deliver a wave to a fcuking shore. And to sling my keyboard back to england.

England (KeyboardSpecialists.co.uk) were bloody brilliant. They sent it, again. Only, this time with " Fastway ". And I had my keyboard inside 24 hours!

But, no. I asked the flame thrower people. They use fcuking UPS! And they insist they've never had a problem. And, they're pretty obviously sticking to that. Good for them. It's just cost them a £300.00 sale.


Tldr? UPS are a shower of cnuts.

Check out http://www.myloc8ion.com. Use it as your post code; it works in sat navigation.

Stigura

John; Long and bitter experience has shown me that half these idiots couldn't find their own arses, to wipe them.

Look; We could sit down together and I could spend all day, relating fkucing horror stories. But, that's not really the purpose of this particular board.

I will just point out that I found another, england based firm, to sell me my Sheen. I ordered it and, within minutes, became embroiled in Another fcuking nightmare!

Several, International phone calls later, I finally got it sorted. I Hope! Some lawnmower outfit, in england, now seems to have my money. Paypal, unfortunately, has my debit card details, with a £2000 'Help Yeself' clause on it! (I can see me cancelling That card soon!)

I 'should' have my flame thrower and a gallon of paraffin next week then. So I'm told.

But, here's the kicker. The point I'm Really coming back here to make; After all these days of feverishly googling Sheen Weed Guns. Registering. Typing. Waiting. Phoning. Screaming and fcuking swearing? Just as it looked like my latest attempt to buy one, on line, had failed? I had the most outlandish thought.

I rang the local Woodies. Twenty miles away .....

" Sheen Weed Burners? One's ye pump up? Yep. We have them in stock. And we're open till 20:00 tonight "

I could have nipped over. Grabbed one. Been weed free, days ago. And this schit never would have happened!!! :mad:

fryup

look like a fire hazard to me, imagine going near dried up tinder/tatch with that thing,

i presume its only sold to over 18s ??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br1ZPJ8oQxY

Stigura

That's who I'm (Hopefully) getting it from. And, if it was Tom there who took my last call? He's very much the brains of the bloody outfit too. Probably why they had Him explain the flame gun.