How bad was this mistake during my interview?

Jenneke87

Mods: Apologies if this is in the wrong please, feel free to move accordingly.

I had a jobinterview today. I was really excited about it and everything went well up to a certain point when the interviewer asked why I had not finished my college education. I told him it was due to personal circumstances. At first he left it at that but later on brought it up again. I gave him the same answer and he replied: I feel like you are pulling up a curtain(an expression we use here to indicate someone is hiding something). I felt backed into a corner as it really is a very personal reason why I dropped out, and since I'm not good at lying, I told him I was pregnant and the child was not compatible with life. I did not cry when I said that but I did feel tears burning in my eyes and I'm sure he saw that. I recovered quickly enought the rest of the interview was awkward after that.

I feel so bad now: I really wanted this job and I'm sure I've ruined it now due to my overly honest answer. I keep going over and over it, thinking of what I should have said instead. I fear they will see me as emotional unstable or as someone who could not power through a difficult situation(does this make sense??) They told me they will let me know by Friday, but I know for 99% what the answer will be. If someone told you this in an interview, would you still hire them or view it as inappropriate/oversharing? Thanks for your answers.

ted1

Any good employer / person would understand. Don't overthink it

Kirk Van Houten

Would agree with the first response. The interviewer pushed the point not you. You may be over thinking it.

gabsdot40

I sometimes interview people and I think the interviewer was a bit inappropriate to push the issue but it is good to have an answer ready that won't upset you.
Perhaps in future you say that you had a bereavement.

Your Face

Your interviewer might see you as honest and controlled under pressure.

seamus

It's more likely that he feels like a bit of a dick for pushing the point.

I wouldn't over think it.

Heroditas

I regularly carry out interviews and would never push in such a manner. To be honest, I'd have wanted the ground to swallow me up if I'd repeatedly asked that question and been given the answer you replied with.
It sounds in no way impact on your ability to get the job.

NiallBoo

I'd like to imagine that there's someone posting in a forum somewhere:

"I did something really horrible when giving a job interview today..."

clairewithani

The interviewer was wrong to push but your answer in my view was good. Personal reasons could be anything, a wide range of things some not "good enough reason" in many people's eyes for dropping out. I would hope that the awkwardness you sensed after your answer was because of their pushing rather than your answer.
Best of luck. Hope you were successful.

Lady is a tramp

I think it was fair enough that he pushed you for an answer. If you said "personal circumstances" and he didn't ask further and just left it at that, chances are he wouldn't have been seriously considering you for the role. And you could easily have lied, and come up with a fake prepared answer - you didn't - I'm sure he'll appreciate your sincerity.

I'd honestly not worry about it, it sounds like you handled a very difficult interview situation as well as you possibly could. Best of luck with it, and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Emme

OP if you really want the job I hope you get it. That interviewer pushed you too far. Unfortunately some people can be very unprofessional when interviewing and see it as a kind of power trip rather than a way of finding the best person for the job.

Would you be working for the man who kept pushing you with the questions?

davo10

Nothing at all wrong with asking an interviewee why they didn't finish college, there could be a million reasons, interviewer was not to know the answer would be this emotive. That said, I don't see any reason at all for your answer to effect your chances of getting the job, personally I would admire you more for your honesty and be more inclined to employ you.

Keyzer

I bet the interviewer feels terrible right now, I would if I were in the same boat.

You answered the question honourably and, if you don't get the job, I wouldn't stress about it.

silverharp

you didn't make a mistake and neither did the interviewer and I wouldn't read anything into it if you didn't get the job. Keeping your answer overly general wont really work and will look like evasion of the question or the interviewer might imagine a different scenario which might impact their thinking.

Jenneke87

Emme wrote: »

OP if you really want the job I hope you get it. That interviewer pushed you too far. Unfortunately some people can be very unprofessional when interviewing and see it as a kind of power trip rather than a way of finding the best person for the job.

Would you be working for the man who kept pushing you with the questions?

Thanks to everyone who replied, your answers have reassured me somewhat. Emme: no, I would not be directly working for him.

Big Bag of Chips

I think he had to ask. Can you imagine how many thousands of people drop out of college every year. Not all of them for genuine personal reasons. Yet I would say "personal reasons" is the vague answer given by most. It's slightly better than saying "because I hadn't much interest in the course, so I went on the piss for 3 years, and realised my chances of passing my final exams were slim to none"

He had to ask. You had to answer. The answer, unfortunately, was uncomfortable for you to say, and for him to hear. But neither of you are wrong. And I agree, if you had just said "personal reasons" and left it at that, then your CV might have gone to the bottom of the pile under those who did finish college, or had a legitimate reason to not to.

If it helps, then I'd say of all the people he has interviewed, your will be the one who sticks in his mind . At least there was something memorable from your interview.

Don't worry about it. It would in no way negatively affect your job prospects.

December2012

Nothing further to add OP, except to say I'm sorry for you for your loss and the trigger of the upset.

I'm sure saying that did not affect your suitability for the job and was not wrong for the interview

Good luck in everything

Roastchicken

OP, sorry to read you're upset over something connected to what must have been a devasting experience. Hope all works out.

Rubberchikken

hi op
i think he felt he had to ask the question and get a reasonable response and i think you explained what must have been a very difficult experience very well.
best of luck.

bonyn

Jenneke87 wrote: »

Thanks to everyone who replied, your answers have reassured me somewhat. Emme: no, I would not be directly working for him.

I don't think he pushed you unnecessarily. Sounds like you just hadn't really prepared a satisfactory answer to that question.

You didn't finish college. Maybe he thought you couldn't handle the course. Maybe he's afraid you want to return (therefore might leave work when you get the opportunity). And regarding seeing things through, have you attempted to gain your qualification since (perhaps parttime), and if not, why not?

You really need to be able to address employer's concerns in one answer. Something along the lines of, "i left due to taking care of a family member in ill health. I decided to persue a career in xyz and the course was not relevant."

Lux23

He was wrong to push on that, would you really want to work with someone like that?

Lady is a tramp

Lux23 wrote: »

He was wrong to push on that, would you really want to work with someone like that?

I don't think he was at all wrong to push on it. There's a big reason between someone dropping out for very genuine reasons like in this case, and someone who drops out because they just weren't arsed/couldn't hack it.

Bear in mind the interviewer very likely has to justify his decision to his next-in-line, when they see that she dropped out they are of course going to ask the interviewer why this was, and will expect something much more specific than "personal circumstances". Without giving a specific (and honest) answer, she'd be doing herself a disservice in this and future interviews.

Sleepy

There was nothing wrong with him asking, had your "personal reasons" been related to an illness that's likely to reoccur it would have shown that you could end up on sick leave a lot, had it been another way of saying "I knew I was going to fail since I'd been on the piss for the entire year so left early" it'd have shown that you're a quitter, had it been simply down to your not being able for the academic rigours of the course, it'd have shown limitations to your potential in that regard, had it been "I broke up with my boyfriend and had a meltdown" it'd show you as emotionally unstable and a risky proposition to hire.

Your answer showed none of those things, it showed that you'd had some bad luck and had a genuine reason for leaving at the time. That you initially answered "personal reasons" would demonstrate a tendency towards discretion rather than attention seeking which is a positive trait in every walk of life.

If anything, he may feel like a dick for having pressed the issue and a degree of sympathy towards you for having experienced that. Were I the interviewer, assuming you handled the rest of your interview as well, it'd actually make me more likely to hire you and have me wondering if it would be worthwhile to the company to help you finish the degree at night... Often an unfinished degree is a sign of some negative trait in the candidate (laziness, emotional unstability, flightiness etc.), in yours it's a sign of untapped potential.

Jenneke87

bonyn wrote: »

Jenneke87 wrote: »

Thanks to everyone who replied, your answers have reassured me somewhat. Emme: no, I would not be directly working for him.

I don't think he pushed you unnecessarily. Sounds like you just hadn't really prepared a satisfactory answer to that question.

You didn't finish college. Maybe he thought you couldn't handle the course. Maybe he's afraid you want to return (therefore might leave work when you get the opportunity). And regarding seeing things through, have you attempted to gain your qualification since (perhaps parttime), and if not, why not?

You really need to be able to address employer's concerns in one answer. Something along the lines of, "i left due to taking care of a family member in ill health. I decided to persue a career in xyz and the course was not relevant."

I understand your point. The reason why I had no other answers is because in previous interviews I'd say it was for personal reasons as well and no-one would question it any further and still got hired, so wrongly assumed that that answer was acceptable.

1. Unfortunately I cannot finish the course due to procedural rules of the school itself. It was a rather specific course and if you leave after the first of april(no joke) you're not allowed to come back. Why that is I don't know, but I fell pregnant one month later and that thus ended my short stint in college After things settled down I started working due to my age(I was a mature student) and am currently enrolled in a short program to gain additional qualifications.

clairewithani

Sleepy wrote: »

There was nothing wrong with him asking, had your "personal reasons" been related to an illness that's likely to reoccur it would have shown that you could end up on sick leave a lot, had it been another way of saying "I knew I was going to fail since I'd been on the piss for the entire year so left early" it'd have shown that you're a quitter, had it been simply down to your not being able for the academic rigours of the course, it'd have shown limitations to your potential in that regard, had it been "I broke up with my boyfriend and had a meltdown" it'd show you as emotionally unstable and a risky proposition to hire.

Your answer showed none of those things, it showed that you'd had some bad luck and had a genuine reason for leaving at the time. That you initially answered "personal reasons" would demonstrate a tendency towards discretion rather than attention seeking which is a positive trait in every walk of life.

If anything, he may feel like a dick for having pressed the issue and a degree of sympathy towards you for having experienced that. Were I the interviewer, assuming you handled the rest of your interview as well, it'd actually make me more likely to hire you and have me wondering if it would be worthwhile to the company to help you finish the degree at night... Often an unfinished degree is a sign of some negative trait in the candidate (laziness, emotional unstability, flightiness etc.), in yours it's a sign of untapped potential.

Great answer Sleepy. That's exactly how I wish I had put it but didn't.

Katgurl

OP I'm so sorry about your baby.

Regarding the interviewer, I bet he wanted to cut out his tongue after he got the answer. I've interviewed over a thousand candidates at various different levels and I can tell you right now the awkwardness you described was simply compassion for your pain.

This would have absolutely no bearing on your suitability for the job.

Fingers crossed it's good news today.

Jenneke87

Katgurl wrote: »

Fingers crossed it's good news today.

Unfortunately it isn't. When I asked for feedback the woman told me that they percieved my attitude as guarded and that made it difficult to interview me, or so they say.

Thanks for all of your answers everybody, they are muc appreciated.

Ursus Horribilis

Oh dear, sorry to see this. Maybe it was the guarded attitude which led the interviewer to probe further and led to what happened?

Jenneke87

I don't know. When I asked the woman why not she seemed very startled and it felt like she made something up on the spot because she wasn't expecting the question. Anyway, onwards an upwards

irishgirl19

Sorry for your loss!

It sounds like you dodged a bullet with that job

Katgurl

Hard luck on the job OP but there will be more. That was unusual feedback she gave you, she was obviously not expecting the question. I suspect that the interviewer didn't get all the information he needed and sort of glossed over why when he was giving feedback.

My advice for the future is this:

Either remove your unfinished course from CV

or

Prepare a more forthcoming response to the same question. I'd go with something like "I had medical complications and required surgery. I was sick for a while but I'm in full health now. I might go back and complete at some stage but that would be considerably in the future."

dellas1979

The thing is OP (and I know you went through a hard time during that period), if you are ok with what happened you, and that is not to take anything away from you, that will translate to other people (who dont know you). No matter what the story of someone's life is.

As katgul said above, you can put a positive spin on this experience , if you wish (you got through it and it stands to you as a life experience).

Keyzer

I'd say they made up some BS excuse due to the fact that they are embarrased about the situation they put you in. Sounds like a weak reason to me.

Anyroads, put it down experience and keep up the job hunt.