Unwanted attention/assumption

LegacyUser

So I've changed recently, I didn't notice it at first it but others have.
I'm male, 19, and I've started to get a reputation, or more so people see me differently

I've always been shy, small, bland and downright forgettable. In the past year, I've grown a bit (still quite short) I've started singing in public, dressing in my own style etc, and while that may all seem fine it's gotten me some unwanted attention.

Because of an increase in interest from girls and me now 'moving around' (more than one girl) on nights out I've got a reputation where I'm seen as someone who uses women and thus they don't feel like I'm suitable for any real relationship. Girls who were previous interested in me aren't anymore and I feel like I'm losing the ones worth keeping. I've had a girl I was with years ago now regain contact, we started chatting again and then she turned around and said 'I don't think your the type person I want to be seeing"

Guys have also started to dislike me because I'm different. I play guitar, they play sports this coupled with me getting more female attention has made me automatically dislikable until proven otherwise.. I've some good friends but even then they're noticing the difference.

Some people think I'm bisexual because of how I dress, the topics that interest me (hence the username) and some of my role models, James Dean, Matty Healy etc.. I don't think I am but I don't feel capable of answering that question as of now.

How do I live with this changed perception of me? I know I can't really change it but how can I atleast not feel so overwhelmed?
I'm from a small town and people now know my name. I've literally had people ask me my name and then say.. "Ohh... Yes I've heard about you"..

fancy pigeon

You're 19...

• Don't be worrying about relationships
• Don't mind the other jealous boys
• Be yourself and don't let others dictate how you project yourself (once it isn't offensive!)

To me it seems like your trying something different that you like and it's annoying a lot of people because it's working out for you :cool:

gossamer

You received plenty of positive feedback and advice in your last thread. You're making a bigger issue out of this than it is.

Big Bag of Chips

Without context and without knowing you it's difficult to say if it's others who are wrong about you, or if you have changed so much that you've become a bit of an arsehole! Maybe people are used to you being meek and shy, and now your new found confidence is taking them by surprise and they don't know how to deal with you.

The girl who knew you years ago, and you met up with again recently, seems like a strange thing for her to just come out and say without reason?

I was once 19. I knew lads who played sport and I knew lads who played music. I even knew a few who did both! Generally we all just gelled along together, and the sporty lads would love to go to a gig by their mate, have a few beers and sing along! Everyone seemed to get their own share of attention, and friends were generally friends. The lads that pissed people off were usually lads that were just arseholes!

I'm not saying you're the problem... I can't possibly decide that from a few lines. As the previous poster mentioned, your 19! Enjoy being 19. Enjoy finding out what you like, who you like. Not everyone is always going to like you, and sometimes there can be an attitude of, he's a bit full of himself, from people who are jealous of your life.

But in saying that... If everyone else has a problem with you, maybe the problem isn't everyone else?!

You're 19. In 5 years time this will all matter less and less. Become the person you feel is the person you should be. Some people won't like it. But some will. Stick with the ones who will.

retro:electro

I think you're over thinking it and being a bit paranoid. I guarantee you nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are. Just do what makes you happy, that's it really. Playing guitar and having different taste in music isn't that alternative op. But I do get it, you're at that age where any subtle difference in interest and you think you're "different" or "weird"; but you're not. That's life, people are into different things and that's okay. As for the scoring girls thing, you're 19, if there's any age when you're gonna get away with that sort of thing it's 19.

silverharp

I wouldn't worry about it , you are at the age that people drift apart naturally because you are doing different things. As for relationships if you are serious about your music and its not just a bit of crack then not being in a serious relationship is probably a bonus as you will get more done.
if you are the "Only musician in the village" maybe consider moving to a city where you can find more like minded people.