You're a fool

LegacyUser

I had a couple of dates with one guy. Got on well but ultimately I pushed him away. He has zero interest in me now obviously. An odd time I did text as I wanted answers. I know!

But anyway he said to me last nigh you're a fool. Also said you are tapped and this is not the first time he said it.
When were dating he was so very nice and I really thought it might have worked so am shocked by this.
I don't understand why the necessity to be so cruel to me is for. I know I probably annoyed him asking questions.
I was crying last night thinking of it. Sad I know.

via4

He doesn't sound like a mature person to be with name calling is childish in my eyes your well rid of that you had your cry and it sounds like you know want anyway

Emme

via4 wrote: »

He doesn't sound like a mature person to be with name calling is childish in my eyes your well rid of that you had your cry and it sounds like you know want anyway

If you haven't deleted him from social media accounts do so now. Also block him from your phone.

You've dodged a bullet and you're well rid.

ibarelycare

Maybe he's annoyed at you texting him for "answers" and he's being cruel in the hopes that you'll leave him alone. You only had a couple of dates??? Delete his number, accept it's over and look into working on your self-esteem.

Conor Bourke

If YOU pushed HIM away, why are you looking for answers?!

Dr Crayfish

How did you push him away? If you were getting all intense etc so soon I can understand why he might think you're "tapped".

Virgil°

While it doesn't seem like hes handling it brilliantly or maturely I'd say hes probably just annoyed by you pestering him with questions when (I'm assuming) you were the cause/instigator of breaking things off.

At any rate you only went on a few dates with him so it all sounds far too intense and out of proportion to me. I'd suggest you leave the guy alone and work on yourself for the moment.

LegacyUser

I know he is saying them words to me on purpose.He knows it is hurting me.
I still don't think a reason to call anyone them names.

LegacyUser

Maybe he's right. There might have been better ways to say it and maybe he doesn't need to say it all, but ending a relationship then looking for answers is foolish, unfair and annoying. Maybe instead of blaming him and seeing his behaviour as cruel, you might want to look at your own behaviour and see the contribution you've made to how you're feeling right now. Being honest with yourself instead of blaming someone else for pointing out the truth might help you in the long run.

squonk

Sounds like he's quite pissed off OP and from what you've said in your post, I think he has a right to be. It was only a few dates. It sounds like you pushed him away either because you weren't into it or god knows whyever else. Instead of just leaving the guy be it sounds like you're picking him up now when it suits for 'answers', or is it just reassurance?

You've made your bed here OP and I don't see why you are still pestering this guy instead of moving on with your life. If I was you I'd cut contact and leave the guy be. Also, spend some time figuring out what it was that caused you to push him away and try and work on that so you won't make the same mistake next time.

m-a-i-

I'd mirror what everyone said on this post OP and delete his number and try and distract yourself. This guy obviously is not for you for whatever reason.
What's meant to be won't pass you x

Virgil°

Change123 wrote: »

I know he is saying them words to me on purpose.He knows it is hurting me.
I still don't think a reason to call anyone them names.

Name-calling is hardly the issue here though OP is it?

This is someone you've been on a few dates with. You know this person a couple of hours in total.

If someone i barely know called me a fool I'd brush it off without a second thought.

The level of intensity you're showing over this guy is out of proportion.
If you told us he was your partner of 5 years it might make more sense.

I don't mean this to sound like I'm making fun of you OP but you sound quite emotionally unstable. It's really not normal to cry yourself to sleep over something trivial like this.

I'd advise you talk to a counselor about it.

from_atozinc

So let me get this straight......you pushed this guy away/ended things......and now your back on to him because you want answers.......what answers can you want, you were the one that ended it.

Fair enough if HE was texting You looking for answers, but why you are looking for answers when you ended things baffles me.

I think his summation is fairly apt.

LegacyUser

I didn't end it...?
We were getting on great until I decided in my head that he wasn't interested which was not the case but then I pushed him away being annoying.
He would not communicate properly with me for 2 wks.
He texted me properly then 2 wks later.
I ignored the text and did not reply till following day which was the stupidest thing I have ever done as I really, really liked this one.

Ursus Horribilis

Care to give us an example of the answers you were looking for?

LegacyUser

I have tried to post a few messages but don't seem to be being posted.

He was v nice to me.I overthought something when everything was freaking fine.
I have dated a while and he was the one I liked the most without question.
He texted me every day and not random stuff.
I am so annoyed with myself for ruining something potentially good.
The worse thing is I know he liked me a lot.

Anywho I probably am emotionally unstable as only had one long term relationship which there was both verbal and physical abuse.

I may have had something good with the guy but.stupidly had to go and ruin it.

Ursus Horribilis

OP did you ever go for counselling after that terrible relationship you had? Even if you did at the time, I think you would benefit from seeing someone again. You sound quite fragile and not in the right state of mind to be dating anyone just now.

Without knowing more of the facts (I feel there is a lot of important details missing from this story) it's hard to know who's in the right and who's in the wrong. What happened here is now water under the bridge, unfortunately but you owe it to yourself to learn not to press the self-destruct button in the future.

njs030

Change123 wrote: »

I have tried to post a few messages but don't seem to be being posted.

He was v nice to me.I overthought something when everything was freaking fine.
I have dated a while and he was the one I liked the most without question.
He texted me every day and not random stuff.
I am so annoyed with myself for ruining something potentially good.
The worse thing is I know he liked me a lot.

Anywho I probably am emotionally unstable as only had one long term relationship which there was both verbal and physical abuse.

I may have had something good with the guy but.stupidly had to go and ruin it.

You posted about this recently too didn't you?

The answers aren't going to change, he's still not interested and it's still time to move on.

When it's gotten to a point he's irritatated enough to be calling you a fool you need to move on.
Though after a few dates its pretty weird you're so invested in this man!

Chocolate fiend

You are annoying him, he wants you to go away. Don't text him or contact him again, because he isn't really that wrong, you are being a fool for pursuing this. It's over.

SusieBlue

If this is the OP that posted a few weeks (months?) ago repeatedly, I strongly suggest you stop contacting this man before he reports you to the guards for harassment.
Please seek counselling, you issues run deeper than this small miscommunication with this man and you need to get to the bottom of it before trying to move on from this man.
I wish you well but I cannot emphasise enough how worrying your posts are to a stranger on the internet, let alone how the man in question must feel to be still bombarded with messages months after a few dates with someone.

Hemerodrome

Change123 wrote: »

I didn't end it...?
....I decided in my head that he wasn't interested..... then I pushed him away being annoying.....

....I ignored the text and did not reply till following day

Just because you don't say it's over doesn't mean you didn't end it. Seriously, start taking responsibility for your actions and leave the guy alone.

Ursus Horribilis

I don't remember your other thread (if there was one) but I have to agree that there is a worrying lack of self-awareness going on here.

The way I read this, the guy went out on a handful of dates with you. I'm not sure where this "getting on great" is coming from. Texts?? I can't help but think a lot of this has been constructed in your head. Even if the guy wasn't interested in you, going down the "being annoying" route is just about the worst thing you could do. Either someone likes you or they don't. It's as black and white as that. Hassling them or annoying them or whatever it is you did will never ever get them to like you more. Far from it.

You said you couldn't get him to communicate properly for two weeks. Maybe that's because he was trying to process what was going on here or was being polite. Or was it because you were bombarding him with calls and texts and making him wonder had he found the new Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction? A lot of people wouldn't be sure at all how to deal with something like this.

You're blaming all of this on you not replying to his text until the next door. The horse had long since bolted on this one. Probably waaay back at the being annoying stage

It's very easy to blame him for calling you names but I sense we are getting only a fraction on the details here. You appear to have been hassling him and done enough to make him think you have issues. Maybe be could have handled it better but we don't know what his earlier attempts to stop this were like. He may have had to resort to calling you names and saying these things in order to stop you in your tracks.

batmanrobin

WhiteRoses wrote: »

If this is the OP that posted a few weeks (months?) ago repeatedly, I strongly suggest you stop contacting this man before he reports you to the guards for harassment.
Please seek counselling, you issues run deeper than this small miscommunication with this man and you need to get to the bottom of it before trying to move on from this man.
I wish you well but I cannot emphasise enough how worrying your posts are to a stranger on the internet, let alone how the man in question must feel to be still bombarded with messages months after a few dates with someone.

Yeah, I remember that thread. OP, really now, if you are (and it sounds very much like you are) that other poster it's time to draw a line under this. You got plenty of good advice in the last thread. I suggest you heed it.

I would agree with White Roses that you should probably look into counselling. You have more deep seated issues causing you to act this way.

Please do not contact this man again. Delete his number.

It was a few dates. Absolutely nothing more, especially for him.

Change123

Change123 wrote: »

I didn't end it...?
We were getting on great until I decided in my head that he wasn't interested which was not the case but then I pushed him away being annoying.
He would not communicate properly with me for 2 wks.
He texted me properly then 2 wks later.
I ignored the text and did not reply till following day which was the stupidest thing I have ever done as I really, really liked this one.

...

So you thought he wasn't interested it, pushed him away by being annoying (what does this entail, by the way - what did you do?), got annoyed when he would not communicate for 2 weeks (how many messages did you send during this time, be honest?), then when he actually sent you a message, you ignored him. There's obviously something else that I'm assuming we're missing that might have spurned his calling you a fool.

... I say this in the nicest way I possible can - you're a headwreck. Leave the guy alone.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

Honestly,I acted normal for those 2 weeks. He was still texting me first every day.
Then one day after that , I blew everything out of proportion. I created a problem where was no problem by overthinking things.

I know he liked me cos he said he did, also had asked me to meet again on the last date we had.
He drove 5 hours on 3 separate occasions to meet me.(there and back)
He was v, very nice to me until I acted crazy.I blew it big time. Yes, I am well aware it is over and it is my fault. I am talking with him now.


I agree with everything you say fizzlesticks though. I will work on myself and not push anyone away again.


Thanks all for your advice.

Ursus Horribilis

Oh I think I remember this thread now. It's all starting to sound very familiar.

Seriously OP, stop talking to him and go get professional help. I don't think you are in any fit state to be dating anyone at the moment.

LegacyUser

The last post should have read I am not talking to him now!.

Ursus Horribilis

Ah. That makes more sense.

So are you going to go for counselling? There is so much more to this than you simply pushing him away. You can't just walk away and say Oooh I'll not push the next guy away and leave it at that. This brief encounter with this guy made you behave in ways that are ringing alarm bells with more than just me. You seem to be boxing off the parts of your behaviour that need further exploration and presenting an "everything is fine, nothing to see here" front to the world.

LegacyUser

I am well aware my behaviour was not normal.
Yeah, you're right, my female friends or family would have no idea that I act crazy usually when I think things are going very well. Suppose I can easy put on a "everything is fine with me" to them.

I am going to go for counselling. I have never been so it's about time I went.