After Leaving Cert

jamie124

Hello,
So I suffer from Anxiety and it has been SEVERE in the past few weeks considering I was sitting the leaving cert my stress levels were high and almost anything got me panicking! And I'm still having irrational issues within myself..

Anyways back on point, my friend has invited me to go to an "End of LC" party which is a huge disco/nightclub in my nearby town and to be completely honest I don't want to go... For a number of reasons:
1. I don't drink and my friends do.(they are planning on going to the pub before the nightclub)
2. I have NEVER been to a nightclub in my life because I am so so nervous that something might happen (something bad or life threatening) considering not EVERYONE goes to a nightclub to have a good time but to cause trouble and bully people...
3. I'm worried that my friends might leave me on my own while they go off elsewhere in the nightclub.
4. I am gay (not really relevant I know) but I'm still worried..

I'm also going on holidays next week to Portugal and my mum said that she will be bringing me to my doctor to see if I need medication for my anxiety because NOTHING else seems to be working (properly anyways) I have seen a psychologist and engaged in a CBT Programme (helped about 10%/100) but not much.. I also have been seeing a Speech And Language Therapist and she helps me with social anxiety (or tries to) again it's only helping about 10%/100 again!) so all I can think of now is medication but I am worried about side effects... Do they make you gain weight? Do they cause addiction? Do they make you go mad after a while for example, you might be TOO RELAXED:.
My mum also said that if I was to also apply for a job, it is frowned upon by employers if you take medication for your mental health! I want to be an air steward (cabin crew) eventually but I need experience with the public beforehand and then eventually further on down the line I would like to become a secondary school teacher..

As regards to the night out.. What should I do?? I am sweating even thinking about it! My heart is racing at every simple task that I am asked to do for example: going into a shop and getting something is a big ordeal for me and I am exhausted when I come out due to the stress. Or if I'm in a public place I'm reall nervous (and literally do NOT know why)
I really need some advice guys!
Thanks in advance and I appreciate every single reply

freshpopcorn

I would recommend going to your GP and discussing your anxiety!
Regarding the night out I'd recommend going to be honest. You don't have to drink. I know people who were bullied at school and they were never bullied by there bullies in a night club. In my experience with going out I can't think of any serious incident ever happening in a night club apart from people falling over or getting sick especially in a smaller local night clubs.
Why do you think your friends will leave you?
My advice would be go to the pub and see how you feel or go straight to the night club and if your not having a goo d's time just get somebody to collect you!

Ursus Horribilis

Yeesh, what an awful lot of anxiety over something that's supposed to be a fun night out! Here's a bold suggestion for you - why don't you just say No? What does it matter if you don't go? Your class is on the cusp of breaking up forever anyway and it's unlikely you'll be seeing most of your old classmates anyway. Once your old classmates start in college and begin to forge their own paths, school and old classmates and the likes will be like yesterday's news.

I think you've got far bigger fish to fry to be honest. I'm glad to see that your mum's trying to get you help - I think you should put everything you can into getting your issues sorted out. When you're in a better place you can start thinking about nightclubs and socialising and all of that. For the record, I am one of those people who has always hated nightclubs. So when you finally go (and I think you definitely should, just not for now), don't think you're an oddball if you hate the places.

Mr Rhode Island Red

I'd recommend seeing your GP to be honest. But regardless I would head out and try to enjoy the night. I don't drink and bar a small bit of teasing (nothing more) people don't mind.

By a certain time people will be smashed more euphoric and relaxed and won't care who you are, what you're doing and whether you are drinking yourself or not.

retro:electro

I'm more concerned about what your mother said about employers and mental health! What a sweeping generalisation and this is certainly not the case and her attitude is what perpetuates the stigma around mental health issues.
Op you should definitely visit your GP, there is absolutely no need for you to be feeling like this when it can be managed.

Ursus Horribilis

You're the guy with the horrible stepfather too, aren't you? If I'm thinking of the right person, then here's hoping that you'll soon be living a life that doesn't involve having to live under the roof with him.

jamie124

Odus fell down wrote: »

You're the guy with the horrible stepfather too, aren't you? If I'm thinking of the right person, then here's hoping that you'll soon be living a life that doesn't involve having to live under the roof with him.

Hi There,
Yes I am indeed. And you are thinking of the right person hopefully I will be

jamie124

Odus fell down wrote: »

You're the guy with the horrible stepfather too, aren't you? If I'm thinking of the right person, then here's hoping that you'll soon be living a life that doesn't involve having to live under the roof with him.

Hello There,
Yes I am indeed. And you are thinking of the right person . Hopefully I will be living in Dublin in the future but for now I await my leaving cert results which will be released in August!

JK2015

jamie124 wrote: »

Hello,
I don't want to go... For a number of reasons:
1. I don't drink and my friends do.(they are planning on going to the pub before the nightclub)
2. I have NEVER been to a nightclub in my life because I am so so nervous that something might happen (something bad or life threatening) considering not EVERYONE goes to a nightclub to have a good time but to cause trouble and bully people...
3. I'm worried that my friends might leave me on my own while they go off elsewhere in the nightclub.
4. I am gay (not really relevant I know) but I'm still worried..

Maybe confide in a trusted friend who you think will understand and might make an effort to stick around with you for the night? You probably feel like you have to go because everyone else is, but that really isnt the case. If you genuinely don't think you'll enjoy the night, there really isn't anything to be gained from going, and for someone with anxiety, going to a nightclub might not be the best idea.
Maybe you could use going for a night out as goal to work towards as you become more comfortable in social situations? And maybe try bars first as they are more relaxed/quieter.
Or you could just go for an hour or two, less if you want to leave sooner. As someone mentioned above, people will be really relaxed and chilled, and friendly. For your first night, it might be a good one as you'll know absolutely tons of people.
REGARDLESS, whatever you choose to do, make sure you make your own decision, and do just what you feel comfortable with.