My Travel Bug is going to make me Bankrupt!

LegacyUser

This may seem like a trivial problem to many but its very real for me so please, if you have constructive advice, I welcome it.

I never had the chance to travel when I was young, I had to go straight from the Leaving Cert to work for about 5 years because at the time my Dad was sick and couldn't work so I had to join the family and pay towards the house and his bills. Things stabilized and I went to college, got a degree in engineering and for the past 6 years I have had a fantastic, very well paid job. I'm now a man in my mid 30s and I rent a flat alone which comes to 750 monthly. A couple of years ago it hit me that I have never been anywhere but maybe West Ireland or London at the most with friends for a weekend away so I used my spare wages to start seeing America (Texas, New York, LA) which were fantastic, eye-opening experiences and I met a wide variety of people and saw some brilliant sights.

I was truly bitten and since then I have planned very expensive, top of the range holidays to Canada, Africa and New Zealand is next on my list. I go on most of these holidays alone as my mates are settled with kids or out of work. As a result, I think I'm actually addicted to seeing the world. I want to see every single island, road, monument, country and taste every delicacy on this planet, and when I get home after a holiday, I'm depressed and restless and start planning my next one straight away. I have maxed out 3 cred cards, have a HUGE Bank Loan and my savings have virtually dried up but it still doesn't stop me. I keep convinving myself that travel is more important than savings or my own house and the memories will last forever but I think ive become deluded. Literally the last year I'm broke 2 weeks after being paid and once I had to buy cheap Aldi soup for dinner for a week, and I earn thousands!

People keep telling me "Ah cop on to yourself, get a house and settle down" and half of me wants to be sensible and plan cheaper holidays and start planning for the future then the other half is terrified at hitting 50 and not having seen the world. its alright for some, no everyone had mothers and fathers to pay for J1 trips or holidays to Oz. I'm only catching up now but I fear I'm going to be ruined in a few years if I don't control it, please help.

gercoral

I would agree and say that travel IS more important than those things in the long run, but I suppose you can't keep running from your bills in the short run.
You could of course just keep travelling and drop off the face of the earth...that way you won't have to deal with your CC bills etc! But i wouldn't recommend it.

If you don't mind me asking, why do you keep choosing expensive holidays? Are you staying in fancy hotels or paying for all inclusive holidays/pre-palnned tours?

I f I were you, I think I'd get the debts under control first..I'd hate the thought of owing money...I'd feel like I couldn't enjoy my holidays knowing I owed so much money. Maybe consider different types of holiday?
I was only reading a blog last night about a guy who cycled through Africa on a bike. Just him, his tent, and a bike....and now he has started an adventure tourism business in Africa. Might be something to consider down the line...

Ursus Horribilis

(Just to say first - I've had a bit of a think about what I wrote and have re-edited this)

The first thing I would advise you to do is go to the drawer where you keep your scissors. Take them out and cut up all your credit cards. Though on reflection that'll be a waste of time because you're using them online! Still, the point I'm trying to make is that you've got to stop using those credit cards right now and start sorting out your finances. You're already starting to run out of road and you're a very lucky man you don't appear to have been confronted by unexpected big bills. What if the owner of your flat decides they want to sell up and you're suddenly stuck having to find somewhere newer and costlier to live? What if something serious goes wrong with your car or you break a tooth and have to have costly emergency dental repair work. I think you could do with going to talk to someone in MABS, even if it's just to talk out loud to another human being about the way you're spending your money like it's going out of fashion. You don't need me to tell you that trying to reduce credit card debt is a hard thing to do when you see the interest rates they charge.

I'm all for travelling but the way in which you've compulsively gone from 0-60 is something I would be a little quite concerned by. It's like it's filling a hole in your life and it's not just that you're travelling to see places. You seem to be as much running away from reality as you are travelling around to see the world. Realistically you are never going to get to see all the places you want to but most people make their peace with that and gradually chip away at their bucket list over the years. You don't seem to have been able to stop and think about where you were going and what it'd cost. You're caught up in some sort of frenzied urge to see everything as fast as you can and seem to have lost sight of the financial practicalities. I'm not suggesting for one minute that you should've been staying in hostels or anything but you seem to have put the blinkers on and gone the Rolls Royce route. In some ways you're pressing a self-destruct button. Why?

I think you should contact your GP and have them refer you on to a therapist. Something tells me there's a lot more going on here than just someone who likes their holidays.

ongarboy

I also don't understand how you can enjoy any holiday if they leave you in debt. Why also do you need to go on top of the range holidays? I saw the world at aged 24 (Paris, Singapore, all of Australia, New Zealand, South East Asia, Hawaii, LA, New York and London) on a shoe string budget as a backpacker and stayed in hostel dorms, cooked in the hostel kitchens and availed of every discount/coupon/voucher for everything from bus tickets, half price cinema days, early bird meals and happy hours, free days at visitor attractions and free activities/excursions etc. And no, I did not have help from Mom or Dad or anyone. I saved for 2 years from my low paid job at the time and still was able to see and do all that I listed above. I came back with an empty bank balance but thankfully no debt!

I'm not saying you need to be as frugal as that as you have, as you say, a decent salaried job but you can still see all these amazing places by establishing affordable budgets in advance and staying in budget accommodation a bit away from the main tourist trap places.

You sound like someone who has no problem maxing out credit cards and paying the minimum amount each month but then left paying crazy interest charges. I am the complete opposite of that and could never understand people who do this. Knowing I would have difficulty in repaying for it or knowing I'd be so broke when I came home that I could only afford soup for a week would take much of the enjoyment of the trips from me.

Assuming you get 5 weeks annual leave a year, you can easily spend them on trips abroad on an average industrial wage if you don't have other significant outgoings. You can see any of the places you desire if you plan your holidays around when flights are cheap, stay at cheaper hotels, eat at cheaper restaurants etc. Cheap does not mean inferior in most cases but just that you do not get any extra unnecessary frills. Consult lonely planet for each destination you go to as they offer all sorts of tips and recommendations for varying budgets. You've no one to blame but yourself if you choose to be foolishly reckless with your spending knowing that you don't have that money to begin with.

I echo the above poster's observation that there appears to be some sort of void in your life that you are so eager to fulfill these travel dreams. Yes, travel's a great thing to do but you appear to have some obsessional, make up for lost time, desperation about the way you describe it that doesn't come across as normal and suggests a bigger issue. Maybe that is worth exploring further through discussion with a professional?

LegacyUser

It's not either/or. If you are earning decent money you can travel and have a comfortable debt-free life.

Agree that you're trying to plug a gap somewhere. I was the same for a time in my twenties, would plan the next trip almost before returning home from one. I was filling a void in my life and I can see that now. There is no point in living just for the next trip. It's a minuscule amount of time in reality, why be miserable in a job or working endless hours or in debt just for the three weeks of travelling? Life is now, it's about what's happening in the here and now.

December2012

Is there anyway you can switch jobs or careers that does something involving travel, like air stewarding, working for airlines, or an international company?

Most people who did the year out travelling you're talking abou saved and saved and saved.

You're going to have to lower your spending on travel.

Credit card debt will crucify you.

LegacyUser

OP here thanks very much for the replies so far. If I had to be brutally honest I'm just really really bored by my life at home I don't have any partner and haven't got a lot of self esteem to attract one plus there's not much to do even meetup related where I'm living plus living alone can be very lonely I spend more time dropping over to my folks and cousin than I do in my 750 a month flat.
That's why holidays excite me its so different people are normally in good form on the tours and to answer your question yes I normally go the five star hotel route and all the extras first class flights fancy food etc my attitude is I might as well do it right! I'm ashamed to admit I'm even a bit reckless on holidays I went for an hour long walk alone in Johannesburg my first night there just for the thrill which I now realise was absolutely stupid.
But I don't feel I can be open about my dull life people out there have it way worse than me so it's trivial but I do agree that I have to sort out the credit cards. I feel that if someone were to tell me no holidays for a few years I'd slip into depression.

Wesser

I think that if travel makes you happy then It is a worthwhile hobby but it should not be putting you into debt. Remember travel is a want not a need and so I don't think you should be in debt for it.
I'm very well travelled but I don't stay in high end hotels, I believe that real travel experiences where you meet the locals and get a real flavour for a place happen when you stay in local guesthouses etc. I recently travelled the Camino and this was great fun I counted I met 40 people in 5 days and it was very cheap. Also travelling in India or South America is very cheap.
If travelling is that Important to you then maybe consider a nomadic lifestyle where you live and work in different places for a few months at a time? Taking whatever job you can get...
There are many solutions to your problem But debt is not one of them.
Enjoy!

Wesser

Just read your second post there
I don't think anyone here is trivialising your issues and I think that the fact that you trivialise them yourself indicates your self confidence issues. I think your issue is worthy of discussion and you are worthy as a person!!

I think you are restless at the moment ..... There is alot of good advice for how to deal With that here already posted.
Cheaper travel Or else hobbies at home could fill your time.

Ps

!!!!! First class flights???!!!
I thought it was only big corporations that could afford those!
I don't care what salary you are on that is madness!

ongarboy

Hey OP

Your second post really adds more context to your issue and fair dues for being so candid about admitting/speculating the real reasons why you have this intense wanderlust. I feel that you are using holidays in exotic places as an extreme form of escapism the way someone else might use alcohol or drugs to numb the reality that they are unhappy with. Your desperate need for this escapism is so intense that you can't just "escape" with a normal type holiday but it has to be five star all the way so that the constant supply of luxuries associated with it will hopefully suppress the realities of your life that you do not want to face or accept.

With drugs or alcohol, dependents quite often have an initial high that is soon followed by a downer so they seek out the drug again to constantly chase the temporary high. You appear to need holiday after holiday to distract you from the reality of your real life at home and you will go to any lengths to achieve this including getting yourself into major debt. Therefore this is a real and extremely costly issue and I state again as other posters have that this is ) something that should be discussed with a therapist. I think it's above and beyond speaking to MABS because you already know yourself how the money is being wasted and common sense would tell you how to easily reduce at least 80% cost of those trips.

Yes, you are possibly lacking things in your real life but expensive distractions by way of constant luxury holidays will not address your situation and instead create a new environment of stress and unhappiness that has prompted you to post here in the first place. There are so many other more organic and holistic ways (and more importantly cheaper! ) ways to address what's going on through counselling, even just a handful of sessions may be enough to address your issue.

I'd normally call someone crazy for getting into debt for purchasing first class over economy flights because they can be 10 times the price but in your case, it's not that you are crazy but that you are acting out a destructive pattern to escape the unhappiness in your life no matter what the financial cost. I just checked that it costs 3500 euro to fly to San Francisco on business class vs 700 economy (think how many dozens of counselling sessions one of your first class flights could buy!)

Ursus Horribilis

The new information you gave us in your update makes a lot of sense. Loneliness is a horrible thing and it's an awful lot more prevalent than people think. Who wants to come out and openly admit that they're lonely? I also don't believe that this issue is trivial at all. In fact I think it's quite serious.

Whether you want to face up to it or not, you are going to be given no choice but to deal with your issues in a way that doesn't involve running away from the four walls of your apartment or the long long evenings after work's over. You're obviously stuck in a rut but I wonder how hard have you actually tried to improve things? There might not be much happening in your immediate area but have you ever investigated what you could get involved with if you drove to the nearest big town? Have you ever suggested to your cousin that ye try something different? Maybe he/she is in a rut too?

Have you ever thought about changing jobs and working as an engineer somewhere else? You could relocate to somewhere else in Ireland if you don't want to move abroad. Or if you wanted a change of scene, you could work overseas, no?

And edit: I forgot to add the therapy thing again. I think you should talk to someone. It'd be cheaper than booking a holiday

Ursus Horribilis

I also wonder are you subconsciously obliterating your savings in an effort to stop yourself from being able to buy your own place? (And by extension, forcing yourself to own something that would make you even more unhappy - a different set of blank four walls but ones you own).

woodchuck

You can travel and not go backrupt... you just have to travel within your means! A couple of very easy ways to do this are:
1. Fly economy instead of first class.
2. Stay in more budget accommodation (e.g. 3 star) instead of 5 star hotels.
You can also save on accommodation by signing up to websites and getting alerts about deals, discount vouchers etc.

I know you said something about "if I'm going to do it, I might as well do it right". But actually, you'll have a more "real" experience if you do it on a lower budget. What valuable experiences are you really gaining or learning about yourself by flying first class and staying in 5 star hotels? I'm not saying you need to slum it, but there is a happy medium that won't break the bank. Some of the funniest memories I have from travelling, are just from the weird and wonderful places I've stayed in!

jester77

You could also look at changing jobs. During my 20's I worked for a major airline where one of the perks was the ID90 card. I could travel anywhere on this airline and their partners for just 10% of the price. Plus massive reductions in hotels and car hire all around the world.

There are plenty of ways to see the world without putting yourself in debt. Couchsurfing is also a great option, better than any hotel. You have instant access to insider info about the locations you are visiting plus as you are travelling alone you already have some contacts when you arrive.

BetsyEllen

There is absolutely nothing wrong in travelling to fill a void, it's a great thing to do actually whilst you are single.
I'm away to Rome this year, by myself for a week. I too am single and get lonely so this is something for me to look forward to, a treat to myself.

However, I'm flying Aer Lingus and staying in a hostel (€200 for a whole 7 nights!!) - to be honest, I think I'd get bored staying in a 5* hotel alone! I'd be more depressed, luxury like that is to be shared with a partner and it would make me feel more alone.
I'd much rather be in a hostel (you can still have a private room) having the craic with people I would never meet otherwise.

You sound as though you are not happy living alone - would you consider house sharing?
This would also halve your rent, that's a few hundred every month extra to put towards your next adventure; or more sensibly, pay off your debts!

LegacyUser

Train wrecktobroke wrote: »

I normally go the five star hotel route and all the extras first class flights fancy food etc my attitude is I might as well do it right!

This is the only thing you're doing wrong in my opinion. Personally, I think those things are for people with more money than sense. I've done more travelling than you and my best times have come in tents or mountain huts, on cheap trains, with thumbed lifts, sleeping in train stations and all that craic. No matter how good a hotel is, I don't want to be in it, that's not what I came to see. As for a business class flight, it's just a method of travel, when I get off the plane at the same time as you, we're in the same place. On a commercial, scheduled flight, I can't say I've ever thought "Great flight, must pay 5 times as much as the people 10 rows away to do it again".

You may want to consider some counselling to get the bottom of your self-esteem issues. While you're doing it, think about staying at home for a year or two and sorting out your finances, then when you lift the travel ban you might find you can go about it a little differently, so you're not breaking the bank to compensate for what you feel you're lacking in life.

SarahMollie

Hi OP,

I think there are a number of issues here and they are much more related to unhappiness and compulsive spending than anything else.

Maxing out 3 credit cards + a bank loan that you can ill afford sounds to me like self sabotage.

Also, your choice of destinations doesnt scream "loves to travel" to me, more like, loves to spend money. You've gone to Western, English speaking countries....I'm not saying that you shouldn't visit any of these places, but the fact that these are the only places.... well its not mind broadening stuff. There is so much more to see in the world, that will challenge you and actually expand your horizons. Also, the nature of the traveling, which you've described as high end, also doesnt lend itself to really seeing the world. Its all a bit too sanitized.

I think you need to perhaps speak to someone professional, explain the situation (financially) you've gotten yourself into, and create a plan on how to get out of debt.

I have a good job and travel a few times a year. Its easily done, but I wouldn't enjoy a trip that was leaving me in debt. So I'd question how much you're enjoying this, or if you're just enjoying the recklessness of spending like theres no tomorrow and expensive trips are a quick way of racking up debt.

BetsyEllen

Guessed wrote: »

While you're doing it, think about staying at home for a year or two and sorting out your finances, then when you lift the travel ban you might find you can go about it a little differently, so you're not breaking the bank to compensate for what you feel you're lacking in life.

I think this is an excellent point here, you do need to look at your finances.
And also try to spend some time making your home life happier so you're not always itching to get away from it. Moving house, changing jobs, taking up a new hobby...all new things you could try and also possibly incorporate into future travel.

For example, something like hiking - take that up here, go on hikes around different parts of Ireland to keep the travel bug at bay for a while and then in time when you can afford to, you could go off hiking in a different country.

That's just an example, doesn't have to be hiking but you get the idea.

The Raptor

I'm similar. My twenties were awful. If my mother knew i had money, she would take it. I had to pay the way for my three brothers who my mother supported but they never had to pay anything.

By my late twenties, i went back to college and holidays were out because i thought college comes first.

It was after college at age 30 that i was first on a plane. That is embarrassing. But i didn't have a mother who was willing to give me holiday handouts but she would for my brothers.

But at least i done it myself and didn't rely on anyone.

I don't have a long list of countries i've been too. I can count them on one hand. But it's not trying to compete with everyone. My first time on a plane, i realised i was missing out on so much.

I love going places. But i save, i do holidays on the cheap. I even shop in supermarkets instead of eating out. I couldn't enjoy holidays if i was coming home to debt and owing money for the holiday i just had.