Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
If we do not hit our goal we will be forced to close the site.

Current status: https://keepboardsalive.com/

Annual subs are best for most impact. If you are still undecided on going Ad Free - you can also donate using the Paypal Donate option. All contribution helps. Thank you.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.

Being brutally honest with your employer

  • 09-06-2016 05:01PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,700 ✭✭✭


    I have a meeting tomorrow with my manager where I am going to be asked how I'm feeling about the job I am in. If you wanted my brutally honest opinion I would be able to rant for a considerable length of time. I don't want to get into specifics for the sake anonymity. I have issues with the area we were moved to, the system we are using, some financial disagreements in terms of rewards / compensation..

    What I want to know: How honest is too honest?

    Can I be blunt and say I feel screwed out of well earned money or should I sugar coat it and say perhaps I misunderstood the reward I was entitled to and was expecting a larger sum (I was expecting double..).

    Can I say straight out that I hate my new desk and feel betrayed about the fact that we were moved without consulting us first? Or do I sugar coat it and phrase it in a way that I wish we were asked and I do not feel happy in my current seating arrangement?

    Are people not concerned that by expressing their opinion that management will note it in a negative light?


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,809 ✭✭✭Speedwell


    The way you say things is as important as what you say. Always approach disagreements as if you were saying, "Let's work together amicably to resolve this problem I've identified, or please explain to me why I'm misunderstanding the situation".


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 475 ✭✭223vmax


    Depends upon management personality. Some prefer the truth and appreciate that. Others don't want to hear it and want to be told everything is rosy in the garden.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 26,611 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,809 ✭✭✭Speedwell


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    The point is sort of that you don't want them to resolve the situation by removing the complainer.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,461 ✭✭✭Clearlier


    Take the emotion out of it and think about what you want. Complaining for the sake of it is a waste of time. Pointing out a problem to get it resolved or prevent it from happening again is a lot more constructive.

    Again because it sounds like you might be a bit upset about what has happened I can't stress enough that you need to take the emotion out of whatever you're saying. You'll need to have a constructive discussion if you want anything out of it. A rant will get you very little if anything and possibly the door.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,809 ✭✭✭Speedwell


    I suppose that I should point out that on further reflection I have to wonder why they're choosing to call a meeting with the OP to ask about all the unhappiness. Unless the OP's an HR consultant tasked to evaluate the position and give feedback, they obviously are wondering what to do about the unhappy employee, not primarily about what gave rise to the unhappiness... especially if the OP is the only squeaky wheel.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,173 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    While others are correct in that some management don't want to hear negative things, ultimately then if you don't have the power to complain, your only option is to move on elsewhere. So you can still complain, but be working on your escape plan. Either way it all comes down to phrasing.

    Rants and complaints are hard to deal with. When you make a complaint to someone, the first thing they start thinking about is what they need to do to make it go away. If you start ranting, that becomes a scattergun of problems and most people just put their hand up and refuse to deal with it.

    No manager wants to receive a list of gripes. It's work for them. You're dumping sh1t at their feet and telling them they need to clean it up and walking away. However nice and decent they are, it will lower their opinion of you.

    Remove all emotion from your complaints. Come up with a list. Bullet points only, not big long paragraphs. They should be logical, fixable problems. And since they're fixable, you should be able to propose a solution.

    So, "I have problem X. This is a problem because Y. If Z happened, the problem would go away or be lessened". Simple, and to the point. Ultimately Z may not happen, but you've managed to put your complaint out there, so it won't come as a surprise later on when you leave because the problem hasn't been fixed.
    And rather than give your manager work to do in coming up with a solution, you've given him/her a task that they can take and tick off. Everyone prefers definable tasks to open-ended issues.

    And most importantly you've done it without getting upset or causing any kind of offence.

    - I don't like my new desk. We were moved without consultation and I feel very exposed. If we could get partitions put up or be moved into a corner, that would help.
    - I was led to believe that we would receive a raise in January. When is this going to happen?
    - The new system we are using doesn't work properly. It's incredibly inefficient and slow. Can we get a consultant in to take a look and see if things can be improved?

    Write down your bullet points and bring them into the meeting with you. If you arrive in empty handed, you're going to forget and say things all wrong.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,809 ✭✭✭Speedwell


    Something I learned in a negotiation class, also, is never threaten to blow up the negotiation and leave unless you are actually willing to walk away. In my day I've heard these things:
    • I need official training on this software so I can support the users, but my request was turned down. (We don't have the budget to pay for classes for you.)
    • I was promised a transfer, and at each yearly review promised it again, but it never materialised, and someone here only six months was just given it instead. (She has personal issues and needed to relocate.)
    • I am being shut out of team meetings I need to attend so I can do my work. (One of the executive level managers said nobody below a certain pay grade should be attending planning meetings.)
    In each of those cases I had to make hard decisions about whether that unfair reason was grounds to leave my job, but I would never have ranted or got emotional about it. They knew very well I was upset without me actually acting upset.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,969 ✭✭✭hardCopy


    +1 to Seamus' suggestions. I'd avoid using words like "screwed" or "betrayed".


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,700 ✭✭✭Danger781


    Speedwell wrote: »
    I suppose that I should point out that on further reflection I have to wonder why they're choosing to call a meeting with the OP to ask about all the unhappiness. Unless the OP's an HR consultant tasked to evaluate the position and give feedback, they obviously are wondering what to do about the unhappy employee, not primarily about what gave rise to the unhappiness... especially if the OP is the only squeaky wheel.

    My manager tries to do this now and again so the meeting is nothing unusual. I just feel, and it's not just me, that team and personal morale has officially reached an all-time low. Myself and one of my colleagues were talking about this in a very casual joking way and it got me thinking about how I plan to approach the meeting tomorrow. Nothing else going on here!
    seamus wrote: »
    .....

    Thanks Seamus, I think you've hit the nail on the head.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,809 ✭✭✭Speedwell


    Danger781 wrote: »
    My manager tries to do this now and again so the meeting is nothing unusual.

    Well, that's a genuine relief. Your boss may be ineffectual, in which case there's no point shouting and crying, or hampered by higher-ups who won't allow effective fixes, in which case you have an ally who is also upset and who you should not alienate by being emotional. Best of luck.


Advertisement