Stuck in a rut

LegacyUser

Hi all. Not really sure why i'm posting this thread of if this is the right place to post it but here goes.

I'm a 33 year old single man and i've been in a weird "slump" since around the time i turned 30. During my 20's i had a fairly typical 20-something life of work, holidays, nights out etc but a few years back i simply stopped caring about anything.

I don't feel good or bad or depressed, i just don't feel anything. I get up in the mornings, go to work, come home, maybe go for a walk or do some shopping and then do pretty much nothing because i can't be bothered to do anything and then repeat it all the next day. Days off are the same except for the "go to work" part.

I live alone and i think i like it. I had friends living with me until recently and it was ok as well so i'm not sure.

I don't look forward to anything but i also don't dread anything. I could get a promotion at work tomorrow with twice the wages and it would elicit the same response from me as being told i have a terminal illness: "Okay".

I have lost all of my sense of humour and sense of "fun" because i find that kind of thing tiresome to maintain so people describe me as 'serious' and 'business-like' now.

I had sort of a thing with a girl who i really liked about a year ago and we were getting on really well but then she started a sort of casual on-again off-again thing with another friend of mine who is the Generic Young Lad (bants, lols, heading for pints?!??!) so her and I sort of drifted apart since. I don't blame either of them for this, she clearly wanted something that i am not and he is just being him so more power to him/them. I was angry about it at first but i've gotten to the point where i'm not that pushed any more. I still see her occasionally and think about what could have been but that's about it.

I drifted away from my friends once the ones that were living with me moved out because i don't enjoy going out at all and i don't drink so i may as well not exist any more. It has been nearly 3 months since i've seen anyone besides my work mates and family (who i see maybe once a month). No one really makes the effort to meet up with me and i've given up making the effort myself because it was rarely reciprocated. I don't mind one way or the other.

I'm taking 2 weeks off work soon and i'll just stay at home on my own. I looked up holidays and stuff and just got bored after 10 minutes of looking and i'm just going to do nothing instead.

I don't really know what to do or even if i want to do anything. Previous attempts to change things in my life have pretty much just petered out or failed. As i said, i'm neither happy nor unhappy. I just am.

My most common answer to questions is a shrug or "i dunno".

Thanks for reading.

zoobizoo

Get yourself on a surf holiday for those two weeks.

Seriously - two weeks in Portugal booked into a surf camp will kick start your interest in life.

You should probably go talk to someone as well... you're not missing much in the pub and club scene but once you find a hobby you enjoy you'll meet people, look forward to weekends and wish that you had more time off to get away.

How was your sense of humour? It can hide itself away when you're feeling down.

KikiDee

Hey OP,

I do sometimes get like this. For me, it's not a great way to be. I would definitely recommend talking to your GP. You obviously do want to change your life or you wouldn't have posted here so that's a positive for sure. Take it small steps at a time.

When you're done doing your shopping or what not, head for a walk. Even if you don't particularly want to, do it. Get out of the house. Before you were feeling like this, what were you into? Any hobbies you could get back into? Or maybe doing something brand new would be a better option? Interest you a little more?

LegacyUser

KikiDee wrote: »

Hey OP,

I do sometimes get like this. For me, it's not a great way to be. I would definitely recommend talking to your GP. You obviously do want to change your life or you wouldn't have posted here so that's a positive for sure. Take it small steps at a time.

When you're done doing your shopping or what not, head for a walk. Even if you don't particularly want to, do it. Get out of the house. Before you were feeling like this, what were you into? Any hobbies you could get back into? Or maybe doing something brand new would be a better option? Interest you a little more?

Thanks for the reply. I don't really want to talk to my GP because i don't know what to say really. "I just don't care any more, nothings really wrong but i simply don't care what happens in my life any more"? That'll get me put on anti-depressants and i personally knew 3 people who killed themselves relatively shortly after being put on them. Not saying that was what caused them to do it but i'm not willing to roll those dice when i don't think i actually am depressed.

I go for a walk most days and it is grand and all but it's just part of my routine.

I have a few hobbies and have tried a few new ones recently but i've just lost interest in them nearly entirely.

I just don't know what to do any more. I don't care what happens to me, i don't care about anything i do and i don't care about seeing/being around other people.

I'm just used up. I'm beaten. The thing is, i don't really mind it.

LegacyUser

Not to be harsh, but would you consider your existence a bit selfish? I mean you don't have a partner or family to care for and it appears no real responsibilities outside of yourself.

You're acting like you're retired when you're in your prime.

Why not use some of your free time to help some people out? There's loads of people who need help, be it meals on wheels, driving people to appointments, joining Samaritans, visiting the elderly etc...

At least then, you might still feel the same as you do now, but at least you are contributing a bit to society. I suspect you will feel better and have more energy for the other things in life.

Good luck.

zoobizoo

You care enough to come on and ask for people's advice

Chatting to a professional will give you insight into the reason behind your present state

Book that surf holiday ....

KikiDee

idon'tknow wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. I don't really want to talk to my GP because i don't know what to say really. "I just don't care any more, nothings really wrong but i simply don't care what happens in my life any more"? That'll get me put on anti-depressants and i personally knew 3 people who killed themselves relatively shortly after being put on them. Not saying that was what caused them to do it but i'm not willing to roll those dice when i don't think i actually am depressed.

I go for a walk most days and it is grand and all but it's just part of my routine.

I have a few hobbies and have tried a few new ones recently but i've just lost interest in them nearly entirely.

I just don't know what to do any more. I don't care what happens to me, i don't care about anything i do and i don't care about seeing/being around other people.

I'm just used up. I'm beaten. The thing is, i don't really mind it.

I don't think it's a case that you'd have to take anti depressants OP. Your GP can refer you to speak to someone. There's obviously a reason that you're feeling (or not feeling as the case is) like this.

You clearly do care because it's been bothering you enough to come on here and seek advice and others opinions.

When I get into one of these funks, as much as I don't want to, I force myself to do something. Because it's very easy to fall into a trap of sitting at home and doing nothing and 'not caring'. And I think that may be what's happened to you. So now, you need to pull yourself out of it. Even though right now, you feel you don't want to or feel OK about how things are, when you come out of it, I promise you'll look back and never want to be in that funk again.