Drink and drugs out of control

LegacyUser

Hi there. I'm at work this Monday feeling awful. My weekends are just getting out of control. I'm 35 years old. I have been single a couple of years and my partying just seems to be getting progressively worse and worse. I drink way too much, every weekend and spend about half my life hungover and anxious. I also do a lot of cocaine and last week, and this may sound unbelievable I can barely believe it myself, but I smoked crack and smoked heroin at the end of the night with some dude who hopefully I'll never see again. I spent 200 quid on cocaine on Saturday night and did some Friday night too. Now that I think of it I also took an E on Saturday night too. Sometimes they turn into all nighters and I consume crazy amounts of alcohol. I don't seem to be able to go more than one weekend without doing drugs. A quiet weekend for me is only having maybe 6 pints and 6 cans on a Saturday night, with a few on Sunday and Friday too. I am just so sick of it. The thing is though by Thursday I'll be rearing to go again. How can I get out of this nasty loop? I feel like I'll end up dying after one of these bender weekends. I seem to be incapable of just having a few these days. I met a nice girl last week and haven't been able to meet her since because I cancelled our date to on a bender with a mate and can't meet her midweek as I'll drink way too much and would be afraid to miss work. It's just a bloody joke. I'm terrified right now. Advice very much needed.

daisybelle2008

OP I would seriously think about an in house treatment if I was you. Some VHI/medical insurance provide coverage. Quitting or tapering down by yourself is not an option (you know by Friday what's going to happen)... Your employer could be sympathetic. Look for a minimum 30 days residential programme. Your GP should be able to refer you to one suitable.

Augme

I'm just going to guess that you drink and party because the rest of your life is fairly crap and drink helps you to escape that. Start by looking into doing activities that you might actually enjoy, that don't involve drinking obviously. I'd definitely recommend some form of councilling though.

LegacyUser

On paper life is good. I just bought a lovely house on my own, I've a good secure well paid job, lots of friends apart from just party friends, a great family etc. I play musical instruments and I work out a few times a week. Holidays planned... I don't really know why I do it so hard though. I guess I have a great time but it can't be worth it if I'm left feeling so bad afterwards. I wish I could just drink in moderation and not take drugs. I'm having a couple of beers now to relax after that weekend but only 4. I seem to drink in moderation during week then go nuts at weekend. I can't be doing both.

Merkin

The problem is that you're in the midst of an epic comedown now and once that wears off by Wednesday or Thursday you'll be rearing to go again. You seriously need to beak the cycle. Pretty common in serial party heads in their 20s who grow up and cop on. The problem is you're 35 and there's something a bit sad about that. I mean when do you intend to cut down or quit? When you're 45? Or still getting off your bin and chewing your own forehead at house parties when you're 55? I think you might need to quit the booze entirely as if you can do that you'll be less tempted to get off your chunk. Would you consider rehab as has been suggested?

Augme

Weekendwarrior2000 wrote: »

On paper life is good. I just bought a lovely house on my own, I've a good secure well paid job, lots of friends apart from just party friends, a great family etc. I play musical instruments and I work out a few times a week. Holidays planned... I don't really know why I do it so hard though. I guess I have a great time but it can't be worth it if I'm left feeling so bad afterwards. I wish I could just drink in moderation and not take drugs. I'm having a couple of beers now to relax after that weekend but only 4. I seem to drink in moderation during week then go nuts at weekend. I can't be doing both.

Paper doesn't really matter though. Are you happy with your life? Just on the point about drinking in moderation during the week, you did say this in your first post.

haven't been able to meet her since because I cancelled our date to on a bender with a mate and can't meet her midweek as I'll drink way too much and would be afraid to miss work

Grandeeod

weekendwarrior2000 wrote: »

Hi there. I'm at work this Monday feeling awful. My weekends are just getting out of control. I'm 35 years old. I have been single a couple of years and my partying just seems to be getting progressively worse and worse. I drink way too much, every weekend and spend about half my life hungover and anxious. I also do a lot of cocaine and last week, and this may sound unbelievable I can barely believe it myself, but I smoked crack and smoked heroin at the end of the night with some dude who hopefully I'll never see again. I spent 200 quid on cocaine on Saturday night and did some Friday night too. Now that I think of it I also took an E on Saturday night too. Sometimes they turn into all nighters and I consume crazy amounts of alcohol. I don't seem to be able to go more than one weekend without doing drugs. A quiet weekend for me is only having maybe 6 pints and 6 cans on a Saturday night, with a few on Sunday and Friday too. I am just so sick of it. The thing is though by Thursday I'll be rearing to go again. How can I get out of this nasty loop? I feel like I'll end up dying after one of these bender weekends. I seem to be incapable of just having a few these days. I met a nice girl last week and haven't been able to meet her since because I cancelled our date to on a bender with a mate and can't meet her midweek as I'll drink way too much and would be afraid to miss work. It's just a bloody joke. I'm terrified right now. Advice very much needed.

Quit the drugs and ease up on the booze. I say ease up on the booze as you may need it to wind down your whole social thing gradually. But please quit the coke and crack now. You do not need it.

daisybelle2008

Weekendwarrior2000 wrote: »

I wish I could just drink in moderation and not take drugs. I'm having a couple of beers now to relax after that weekend but only 4. I seem to drink in moderation during week then go nuts at weekend. I can't be doing both.

4 drinks 'to relax' on a Monday night after doing coke (2g?), Es, and smoking some crack and herion at the weekend is not moderation. Your problem is not one or the other, it's all of it. You know if you went out midweek all bets are off. You know that the weekend consumption is only limited by what you can't get your hands on once you start. Plenty of people are functioning well 'on paper' but are out of control on drugs and drink and their heads all over the place.
Your second post is playing down a good bit of your first, cause you have had 4 drinks (not a couple).
Did you stop at 4, did you plan to drink tonight when you felt like **** earlier? You need to stop it all and get to Rehab, you are kidding yourself if you think you can give up one and be ok. The problem is too deep and you will consume more of whatever you don't give up, to fill the void in your dependency.

ongarite

You're a functioning alcoholic by your description with a spiralling out of control drug problem..
Your body must be ready to break down, barely back into fully functioning state before weekend binge starts again.
Relax with 4 cans on a Monday, quiet weekend of 6 cans & 6 pints and who knows how many drinks on a crazy one.
Think of how many units of alcohol that is a week, far far above the recommended level for a male of your age.

Sorry for the harshness but it's madness, luckily you seem to have noticed it but only from the drug use point of view.

FortySeven

Been where you are. You need to get help now. Residential treatment worked for me and I strongly recommend it. I attended bushy park ennis. Highly recommend it. As others have mentioned, health insurance covers it.

Crack and heroin will have you begging on the street faster than you can wonder how you got there. You need to get help.

DoctorBoo

Wow. I am actually shocked by the quantities of alcohol and drugs you are consuming. It is totally out of control.
I don't have much practical advice, but I agree with the other posters here : you need to do something drastic immediately. If you don't, it will be too late.

SteoL

Been there. Once heroin and Crack come on the scene your life spirals out of control and before you know it you're homeless and attending methadone clinics with people you normally would never associate with. Seriously man, stop drinking now. You do sound like a classic binge drinker and abstinence is the only way to deal with it. It's hard but can be done.

deseil

You really need to do something op Crack and Heroin ??? Seriously!! Your life is only going one way if you continue on as you are.
Get to your gp and get help.
Good luck.

RobFowl

Firstly i really sympathise with your situation. I think you are on a downward spiral and in a dangerous place.
You are drinking well in excess of the 49 units a week which is classified as dangerous levels of alcohol.
You are now at a higher risk of death from accidents, heart disease and many cancers.
Only you can say if you are an alcoholic but you need help now.
Drinking in moderation is probably not something that is going to happen certainly not at the moment.
Go to AA or Lifering support groups where you will meet many people like you for support.
Consider going to see your GP to see if detox or admission is an option for you and he/she can advise you of local services in your region.
Bottom line is you need to stop this now and have a period of abstinence to get your life back on track.
Good luck and Fwiw I feel for you.

thunderdog

Do you have any friends that aren't into the binge drinking and drugs? If you do, chat to them about your issues and focus on doing all your socialising with these friends.

plan your weekends in advance, commiting to activities that make you get up and out early. Again if you have active friends, organise to meet them for a cycle/walk/run early morning on weekends. This will aid you to curb your evening drinking if you have commited to meeting someone for an activity in the morning time

You have shared your issues on boards. You know you need help. Let close friends and family know of these drink/drug issues

another36

If you can't stop you need to get some proper help.

Ring a rehab unit go have an assessment.

Sounds like you are in a bad cycle.

Do it before your house of cards falls down around you.

blueyes12

I can really empatise with you op, first thing to do is give up the booze, get your head clearer, try given yourself 30 days off the booze, it's hard at first but then you will feel the benifits! When your not drinking you won't feel so out of control and want to do coke and pills! Seriously though crack and heroin to come down from a bender is only going to bring you down a very slippery slope, before you know it you've lost all control ( which is happening already) this is your life and you have the had the wake up call! It's takes something like this for you to realise what's happening,
Chasing something, generally chasing the buzz... Outside of yourself!
Stop and think now what's happening and get some support!
Talk to someone you trust and tell them you feel your life is getting out of control!
Use NA or AA If you need to!
I suggest putting somthing else is place
Yoga, gym or running, anything that helps!

Best of luck Op
Long is the road that out of hell leads into the light

CdeC

Hey,
Man that sounds like you have real addiction issues. At 35 you need to take action now. I know that you might think it a bit naff but these addiction points from Dr Phil really rings true to me. Especially number 7. you don't need to give things up but replace bad behavior with good behavior. Go get help. Counselor etc. Don't do it on your own. But take action now !!

Dr. Phil believes addictions always serve a need. For many, it’s a basic emotional need of coming to terms with self-worth and developing a strong sense of self. And the best thing you can possibly do is take action! Use Dr. Phil’s strategies to make positive changes in your life:

1. Find the courage to determine what you need that you’re not getting.
2. List three things that you feel you’re running from in your life. What are you using your addictions to avoid? Get to the heart of the matter.
3. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Get real with yourself. Ask the tough questions — and listen closely to your answers.
4. Behave your way to success. Instead of being afraid to be a successful person, learn how to own those positive feelings.
5. Work on how to present yourself on an “even-up” basis with the world. How can you know if you can stand on your own without the crutch of your addiction unless you remove it?
6. Stop running. You can run but you can’t hide. Stop putting your own happiness off until tomorrow.
7. Remember, you don’t ever break a habit. If you want to get rid of bad behavior, you have to replace it with something positive — something that will make you stronger instead of weaker. Work on identifying positive behaviors that would make good replacements for your addictions.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all your help guys. I feel pretty rough today, I have the day off though, so I'm going to go down to the sea now and chill out. That heroin/crack thing was a one off. I won't be seeing that guy again but I guess it was the last straw. Dr Phils advice there is pretty good, thanks for that. I was supposed to be going to a day long concert thing on Saturday but I've already told my friends I don't want the ticket. I know exactly how that will end up. It's one step at a time if I can do this one weekend I'll bedrooms well. I'll keep you posted.

FortySeven

I'm just coming back to this as I feel I need to address this a bit more. I'm not going to mince my words here. You are at a turning point in your life op. One path will lead to peace, life and a future. The other has poverty, madness, institutions, courts and death.

There is no nice way to put this but yoga, meditation etc will not help you here, maybe in the future but right now you need professional help before you change your life in ways you may never recover from. This is a life and death decision op. You need to take this very, very seriously.

You have taken the first step by admitting you have a problem. There are solutions. You need to take them.

seamus

Like others say, the fact that you considered 4 drinks on Monday night to relax after a weekend bender to be "moderate" says absolute volumes about how far down the rabbit hole you are.

I agree that some form of rehab assistance is best for where you are now rather than trying to control it yourself. All of the suggestions that people throw in here you could try to give them a shot, but once one of your mates* rings on a Friday around lunchtime, you'll crumble. You need help from someone who's professional.

In terms of the nice girl - invite her out for dinner, book a restaurant that's difficult to get to, and drive. If she asks why you're not drinking, be honest - you have to get up for work the next day and don't trust yourself.

*I use that word very loosely. Would these people ever talk to you if you didn't go out partying with them?

PressRun

I can't add much more to what's been said. You most definitely seem to have a drinking problem, with a drug problem hot on its heels. I think you really should heed the advice of those posters above who have been there and lived to tell the tale. Seeking out rehab could be the best thing you ever do.

On the girl, I would leave that to one side until you sort yourself out.

Big Bag of Chips

A family member had/has a serious drink and cocaine problem. He wishes he could have a few drinks like most people and go home. But once he starts his first drink he's already thinking about taking cocaine. He started off recreational. It eventually progressed to him doing 2 or 3 lines at home, alone , at the weekends, just so he could stay awake longer to drink more.

He owes 5 figure sums. He has scumbags on his back. His car has vandalised, he has been beaten up. He has been asked to carry stuff, or hold stuff to pay off some of his debt. He is due in court soon enough for possession of a couple of thousands euros worth.

He started off going mad at the weekends. In the past few years he's lost his wife, children, home, friends (who would be occasional users but he just took it too far for them) he looks like a junkie. He can't afford to eat because the scumbags are always coming looking for their money. His life is a mess. And anyone that meant anything to him have has enough. His 70 year old mother is distraught over him.

He's done the residential treatment. It worked, for a good while and then he went back to square one. Except now his "friends" are his drug dealer "mates" who keep giving him loans.. which he will never be able to pay back. Which will end him up in worse trouble.

Go to your GP. It didn't take that fella all that long to get to the stage he's at now.

daisybelle2008

Weekendwarrior2000 wrote: »

That heroin/crack thing was a one off.

I was supposed to be going to a day long concert thing on Saturday but I've already told my friends I don't want the ticket. I know exactly how that will end up. It's one step at a time if I can do this one weekend I'll bedrooms well. I'll keep you posted.

Maybe it will, but you don't know that, point is all bets are off once you start partying. So you aren't going to the concert, is it going to be quiet weekend of 6 cans & 6 pints? You are a bit vague on what you are giving up and for how long. If you do this weekend, you'll justify treating yourself to a bender for your effort the following weekend?
OP in your first post you were afraid of dying, now a walk by the sea and skipping a weekend concert is the solution? Forty Seven is right you absolutely need professional help. You are clearly more scared of giving up everything than of something really horrific happening to you. That is true addiction. You are acting pretty slippery here with your responses, you need to be honest with yourself, at least have an honest assessment at a rehab centre to see what a professional will make of it. I wish you the best OP but be brutally honest with yourself about your dependency.

route9

weekendwarrior2000 wrote: »

Hi there. I'm at work this Monday feeling awful. My weekends are just getting out of control. I'm 35 years old. I have been single a couple of years and my partying just seems to be getting progressively worse and worse. I drink way too much, every weekend and spend about half my life hungover and anxious. I also do a lot of cocaine and last week, and this may sound unbelievable I can barely believe it myself, but I smoked crack and smoked heroin at the end of the night with some dude who hopefully I'll never see again. I spent 200 quid on cocaine on Saturday night and did some Friday night too. Now that I think of it I also took an E on Saturday night too. Sometimes they turn into all nighters and I consume crazy amounts of alcohol. I don't seem to be able to go more than one weekend without doing drugs. A quiet weekend for me is only having maybe 6 pints and 6 cans on a Saturday night, with a few on Sunday and Friday too. I am just so sick of it. The thing is though by Thursday I'll be rearing to go again. How can I get out of this nasty loop? I feel like I'll end up dying after one of these bender weekends. I seem to be incapable of just having a few these days. I met a nice girl last week and haven't been able to meet her since because I cancelled our date to on a bender with a mate and can't meet her midweek as I'll drink way too much and would be afraid to miss work. It's just a bloody joke. I'm terrified right now. Advice very much needed.

OP, get help now. Seriously. A quiet weekend for you is 12 pints of beer and you've just done cocaine and heroin? And you spend HALF your life feeling hungover and anxious? And you've just bought a house, meaning you have a new mortgage you have to finance?? A big night for most people is probably doing three-quarters what you do on a quiet night...not including your Friday and Sunday drinks.

I think people have actually been too easy on you. You are an alcohol and drug addict (read that a few times until it sinks in), and the treatment is not going for a stroll on the beach for some fresh air!

Go and get help - pick up the phone tomorrow or book an appointment with someone qualified, and tell them everything you've told us.

Otherwise you know you are going to go back to what you've been doing, and the spiral begins again. If not this weekend then what about the following weekend? And the one after that....and the next one?

Go get help now and let the professionals tell you what you need to do. Best of luck and let us know what they say.

JeffKenna

Hey OP,

Some very good advise given here. The only thing I can add to it is to re-read your initial post on Friday evening before you finish work for the weekend. Remember how you felt when writing it and then decide how you want to spend your weekend.

XVII

you must be really healthy individual to do all that at 35.

LegacyUser

XVII wrote: »

you must be really healthy individual to do all that at 35.

You'd be surprised. I ran a marathon last year and I get to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. I eat really well and look very fit and younger than I am.
Whereas a lot of my friends have families now etc I've found myself with lots of disposable income and its been hard forme to resist partying at the weekends. I'be already made plans for during the day on Saturday and Sunday, outdoor pursuits. So I need to start enjoying life in other ways.
Anyway I'm going to try tee total for a while. I'm done with drugs. I never gave them a second thought when I lived in a country where they're not available but I've met the wrong people here. I did try speaking to my doctor about booze before but they pretty much didn't know what to say and arranged liver tests. Which I didn't bother with. Anyway, I'll post back in a week or two and hopefully I've made some strides in the right direction.

CdeC

Hi OP,

There’s quite a mixed response here from people going from calling you an out and out addict to people saying just relax, do some yoga and you’ll be fine.
I feel that there is no quick solution to your problem. You want to stop what you’re doing but it is not easy to change a lifestyle. You’ll have to be honest with yourself and ask some hard questions.

1. Do you REALLY want to stop. Your username you picked is weekendwarrior. This indicates a sense of pride in what you do rather than a sense of regret. You need to really decide are you going to change?
2. Who are you doing all this with. Friends? Are they the right friends for you. You might think about limiting your time spent with these people. Your circle of friends will really be key to success here.
3. Giving up the booze for a while will help but what will result in long lasting change. What triggers you into these benders. You may crave these nights out again. Will you give into these or will you be able to resist.?

I always find with these sorts of things there is never any 1 solution. Usually a mix of change, focus and determination result in lifestyle changes that are beneficial and long-lasting and they are never easy.
Ask yourself where you see yourself in a year. What can I do to get there?
You have achieved a lot already, a house, a good job. You probably doing a lot better than most. Take control of this part of your life as well.

Organise that date…..midweek……have two drinks then go home. Not that hard.

Sure if you get f*cked she’ll not want sight of you anyway.

Good luck mate

RobFowl

CdeC wrote: »

Organise that date…..midweek……have two drinks then go home. Not that hard.

That is impossible for addicts and really a dangerous suggestion.
whole problem with addicts is once they start its a rollercoaster effect and they can't stop easily if at all.
Going teetotal for a while at least is the only answer here.

Big Bag of Chips

CdeC wrote: »

Organise that date…..midweek……have two drinks then go home. Not that hard.

Clearly you don't have much experience of addiction! For an addict, staying off it completely is easier than trying to limit yourself to 1 or 2.

I'd agree that you should organise that date, but avoid drinking situations. The date doesn't have to be in a pub, or even a restaurant. Bit of imaginative thinking, you could have a great evening doing something completely different.

I have known a few different people with different degrees of addiction, and different ways of coping with it themselves. But ALL of them when they were starting out had to go cold turkey. They weren't strong enough, at the start, to control themselves or limit themselves.

I hope you can get yourself sorted, OP. It's going to be a tough road for you. But ultimately it will be easier than the one you're already going down.

LegacyUser

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Clearly you don't have much experience of addiction! For an addict, staying off it completely is easier than trying to limit yourself to 1 or 2.

I'd agree that you should organise that date, but avoid drinking situations. The date doesn't have to be in a pub, or even a restaurant. Bit of imaginative thinking, you could have a great evening doing something completely different.

I have known a few different people with different degrees of addiction, and different ways of coping with it themselves. But ALL of them when they were starting out had to go cold turkey. They weren't strong enough, at the start, to control themselves or limit themselves.

I hope you can get yourself sorted, OP. It's going to be a tough road for you. But ultimately it will be easier than the one you're already going down.

I guess I should explain a bit more. My first post came in the midst of a bad downer. It's usually every few weeks I have a particularly bad party weekend, they are the ones that worry me the most. That's the type of weekend I need beers on a Monday to ease off. I've been trying to avoid alcohol during the week and I usually say no to after work drinks etc as I don't want to risk hangovers. I cycle 20k a day and I already do meditate 4 or 5 days a week. I've been meditating for a year now.
I know I have a binge drinking problem but I don't consider myself a drug addict. I easily go a month or two without touching the stuff regularly, and up until the last year or so I hadn't touched anything in years, since my mid 20s maybe.
So I'm at a loss as to how to categorise my problems.
I can go for one or two sometimes, depending who I'm with.
I think I need to avoid hanging out with certain people. I've met people through work etc lately who seem to be like myself, and wont say no to anything after a few drinks. With others who don't have this in them, I'll usually just go home.
So I don't think I am an addict. Maybe I'm somewhere on the alcoholic spectrum.

Big Bag of Chips

Nobody becomes an addict overnight. It's progressive. You titled your thread "Drink and drugs out of control", so you acknowledge that it is becoming something you're not REALLY in control of anymore. But, you're taking positive steps to take control of it before it gets too far. And hopefully pull you back from it being completely out of your control.

I think you'll be ok. But I think you need to acknowledge that it is beginning to take a hold of you. You are beginning to do things that in sober thought you wouldn't dream of doing. You know where you're going wrong, but you still get that urge to do it all again. If you're disciplined enough you might be able to do it on your own. But be honest with yourself about your own capabilities. Don't minimise or rationalise crazy behaviour!!

Mick Murdock

OP, I have been in exactly the same place as you and I'm still struggling with it tbh but I will give you my two cents for what it's worth..

As numerous posters have pointed out here you are an alcoholic and the sooner you accept that the sooner you can start living your life again. You may be physically fit, you may look healthy, you may have a great job and lots of money but that's not at all unusual for alcoholics, in fact it's probably the most common type of all. 35 is a long way from 25 and your liver and heart will only take so much punishment before all of the above mean nothing anymore.

Your social life sounds just like mine once did. Well paid job and everything led towards the weekend. I started off drinking heavily at the weekends with friends, then it was a couple of nights midweek and before you know it you're drunk every day of the week, sitting alone at home.

There was a 5 year stretch where you could count on two hands the number of days I didn't drink alcohol and they were usually because I was so violently ill after a weekend it was physically impossible.

Before long I was taking coke every day of the week just to be able to attempt to function at my job. That's when you stop looking healthy and start resembling f*cking Shane MacGowan.

Thankfully, you do not sound to be anywhere close to that with regards your cocaine usage. I cannot recall a single decent person or "friend" who offered me drugs on any kind of regular basis. People with addiction issues need to stay the hell away from street drugs. I'd strongly suggest you change your social circle.

Get your liver checked. I reluctantly did it at 29 and thankfully it came back all clear. I still can't believe it. Regardless of the result it's a real wake up call. I used it as an opportunity to try and find a different life.

I attended some counselling and addiction centres but despite my best efforts I found they just weren't for me. That said, I can see how they could be beneficial for others as everybody is different.

I started a business (something I had always wanted) and now live 50/50 between Ireland and Italy thanks to that job. My girlfriend has also been a huge help and support and while I still somtimes drink alcohol I really shouldn't as it often doesn't end well if I'm left to my own devices.

Cutting that tie entirely is still the goal and I'm hopeful I will get there.

If you were happier elsewhere pack your bags and go. As a poster said earlier it could be the difference between life and death.

Go on that date. Best of luck.

ASoberThought

Hello,

I was stuck in this rut for years.

As a first course of action, I would suggest going to an NA meeting with an open mind. You don't need to pound drugs daily or even weekly to be an addict/problematic user.

Good luck

FortySeven

How did you get on over the bank holiday op?

KikiDee

Hey OP,

You've recognised you've got an issue. Well done. That's a big step.

I can't say I've ever gone down the crack or heroine route but there was a period where I definitely became more experimental on weekends, pushing my limits when it comes to tolerances for drink, trying drugs being offered around. I can see how easy it is to fall into that kind of lifestyle. The feeling you get of simply not caring about what's going on in your life is an escape.

You say on paper, your life is pretty wonderful. IME, my life was pretty wonderful in that I'm healthy, I have a job I love, friends & family that care about me and hobbies I enjoy. However, I can see now I was using partying as a way of ignoring things going on in my head. I didn't even realise I was doing it until I spoke to someone about it.

I still drink now but I don't drink as an escape anymore. It's not a crutch. Mick is 100% right in that at the start, it's weekends but soon, that's not gonna be enough. You'll start mid week to escape the downer you're on from the weekend.

Addiction groups may not be for you but I would really urge you to speak to someone about this and find out why your partying habits are so excessive.

Good luck OP.

LegacyUser

KikiDee wrote: »

Hey OP,

You've recognised you've got an issue. Well done. That's a big step.

I can't say I've ever gone down the crack or heroine route but there was a period where I definitely became more experimental on weekends, pushing my limits when it comes to tolerances for drink, trying drugs being offered around. I can see how easy it is to fall into that kind of lifestyle. The feeling you get of simply not caring about what's going on in your life is an escape.

You say on paper, your life is pretty wonderful. IME, my life was pretty wonderful in that I'm healthy, I have a job I love, friends & family that care about me and hobbies I enjoy. However, I can see now I was using partying as a way of ignoring things going on in my head. I didn't even realise I was doing it until I spoke to someone about it.

I still drink now but I don't drink as an escape anymore. It's not a crutch. Mick is 100% right in that at the start, it's weekends but soon, that's not gonna be enough. You'll start mid week to escape the downer you're on from the weekend.

Addiction groups may not be for you but I would really urge you to speak to someone about this and find out why your partying habits are so excessive.

Good luck OP.

I guess you kind of sound like you were how I am now.
There's not really that much going on in my life that's bad but maybe I do have a few underlying issues that I could work on. Self worth, esteem etc. I had a bad breakup a couple of years ago and ever since then I've not really had any interest in going out with anyone, or just haven't met the right girl. So I guess maybe sometimes I'm a bit lonely, and being single at my age is probably the only reason I go out and party a lot (or used to!).
The long weekend was great. My friend and I decided not to go to the party/gig thing that would have been quite messy. He's in a similar boat to me as in he likes to party a bit too much. We work together but we're both trying to knock it on the head.
So I climbed the sugarloaf and swam in the sea and took my new motorbike out with another friend. Also played golf on Sunday. I did have a few drinks on Saturday and Sunday night but nothing messy at all. I'm going on a family holiday on Friday for 10 days and that should be quiet enough, we always go to the same place in Italy and I tend to do a lot of outdoors stuff and stay out of trouble.
I actually think I'll be ok now, I just need to have a bit more will power and stay away from certain situations. But at the moment it's one weekend at a time.

KikiDee

weekendwarrior2000 wrote: »

I guess you kind of sound like you were how I am now.
There's not really that much going on in my life that's bad but maybe I do have a few underlying issues that I could work on. Self worth, esteem etc. I had a bad breakup a couple of years ago and ever since then I've not really had any interest in going out with anyone, or just haven't met the right girl. So I guess maybe sometimes I'm a bit lonely, and being single at my age is probably the only reason I go out and party a lot (or used to!).
The long weekend was great. My friend and I decided not to go to the party/gig thing that would have been quite messy. He's in a similar boat to me as in he likes to party a bit too much. We work together but we're both trying to knock it on the head.
So I climbed the sugarloaf and swam in the sea and took my new motorbike out with another friend. Also played golf on Sunday. I did have a few drinks on Saturday and Sunday night but nothing messy at all. I'm going on a family holiday on Friday for 10 days and that should be quiet enough, we always go to the same place in Italy and I tend to do a lot of outdoors stuff and stay out of trouble.
I actually think I'll be ok now, I just need to have a bit more will power and stay away from certain situations. But at the moment it's one weekend at a time.

Hey OP, great to hear you're feeling a bit better and that you've got a buddy to help you through it. One day at a time is a great way to approach your change in lifestyle. Baby steps OP

Enjoy the hollibobs....am super jealous!

Wanderer78

Councillor and fast. Best of luck with it

Clampdown

OP you don't consider yourself to be an addict, but people who don't have addiction issues don't start drinking, then do coke, then smoke crack and smack and take E. That's addictive behavior where you just won't stop and you're chasing a buzz and trying to keep that buzz. It doesn't have to be something you do regularly. I would often stay sober for weeks but I was just waiting for my next blowout like a kid waiting on Christmas morn.

Myself and my mates were at similar craic. We all binge drank, smoked herb and took the occasional line or E back in our teens and 20's. Some went on to harder stuff. Now we're all mid 30's and have copped on. Well, except for Ian, who hung himself in a motel room after a binge. And Jason, my old flatmate who OD'd off of a bad batch of heroin. Oh and Jimmy, who nodded off in an alley in the middle of winter after shooting up and froze to death. All in the last year.

Those last two I mentioned graduated to shooting up after smoking H. It only goes one way when you start messing with hard stuff - you either get honest with yourself about what you're doing and how you'll end up if you continue and quit completely before it ruins everything, or you think you're gonna get away with it until it ruins your life and maybe eventually kills you.

It's hard to stop when you're in the middle of a comedown. And then if you manage to get through it, it doesn't really get much easier. You start to feel better again, you fool yourself into thinking that you weren't that bad, you can handle it. etc. But before you buy a drink or ring your dealer again, fast forward the tape - that horrible comedown and all the other consequences are going to be waiting for you again. Because come on, are you really going to stop at a few beers once you get going?

For some of us, moderation is not an option. If we have to control our drinking, we can't enjoy it, and when we're enjoying it, we quickly spiral out of control. For those of us like that, we're either in sobriety or in addiction.

You have so many good things in your life. Get sober or you're going to lose it all. It's that simple. And that's best case scenario. Worst case is you end up like one of my 3 friends mentioned above, and leave your family and friends with the grief.