Binge Eating Disorder

LegacyUser

I think I have binge eating disorder. I have self diagnosed but I have a lot of the characteristics. I eat in secret, I hate eating in front of other people, I try and hide the evidence when I have over eaten, I can eat until I almost faint with how full I am feeling. I am obviously eating for emotional reasons but it doesn't stop me. I have been in counselling for four years and it has only recently come up as there were many other things to sort out... I feel like such a failure.

I have always eaten in secret, I remember stealing a packet of biscuits out of the press as a child and eating them in secret. The guilt and shame afterwards is horrendous. No one understand what I am going through.. All my friends don't have issues with food, I have tried talking to my mam before but she just blamed it on my time of the month (which I was on at the time I told her) and then asked me what my therapist said about it. I feel I might need to change my therapist as I want it more focused on food therapy.. if there is such a thing.

I have a three year old daughter and I am so scared she is going to end up the same way. I am currently eating a pizza (and yes i'm aware its not even 12pm) and was being super quiet so as not to wake her so I didn't have to share. I feel so horrible admitting that.. I do give her healthy meals and she loves fruit and veg. My aim when she was a baby was to introduce lots of healthy foods to her so that she is healthy. She eats all types of fruit and veg and I am proud of her for doing so, and proud of myself that I cook healthy meals for her. But I can't say the same for myself. I know I have a problem.

I have recently given up chocolate because that is my downfall.. But I just find myself being annoyed at the universe because "i can't have it".. I haven't had chocolate in about 2.5 weeks.. but I am compensating for it by over indulging on jellies, muffins, biscuits, crisps, things i wouldn't normally eat because it's chocolate that i mainly reach for..

What can you advise? I desperatly want help with this.

silverharp

bingercantstop wrote: »

I have recently given up chocolate because that is my downfall.. But I just find myself being annoyed at the universe because "i can't have it".. I haven't had chocolate in about 2.5 weeks.. but I am compensating for it by over indulging on jellies, muffins, biscuits, crisps, things i wouldn't normally eat because it's chocolate that i mainly reach for.

Before trying to label yourself as having a "disorder" I can see from this part of your post that you don't have a good understanding of how particular types of food work on your body. You have replaced one type of high sugar food with other types so you continue eating foods that are likely to create cravings for more food. You may just be the type of person that needs to eat clean because if you don't you cant moderate the junk. It doesn't mean you never have chocolate but if you do you have the high cocoa type which doesn't lend itself to binging on.
At the end of the day not buying the cr@p food so its simply not in easy reach and looking at ways to have fun cooking quality food might be the way to go. Maybe find some reputable sources to learn more about different types of food impact on your body or mood.

racso1975

Well first off congratulations on doind a good job with your daughters feeding habits as its not easy to put in the hard work of cooking healthy and getting her to eat healthy too.

You have not mentioned a partner so I am going to make a huge assumption that there is not one and make another huge assumption that your binge happens when your daughter is not around. So whne she is in creche asleep at night or maybe watching tele? My sincere apologies if I have assumed wrong.

However if the above is correct maybe there is a correlation between being bored and eating rubbish as it gives a bit of a sugar rush making you feel better short term but medium to longterm like sh1te.

There are a number of things. As was said above its not about cutting things out of your life altogether but about moderation when it comes to these type of foods. So the coca rich chocolate may be a way to go. It may also be worth looking at how you shop. Shopping hungry is a disaster as you just buy instant rubbish. It might be worth looking at the option of on line food shopping after you have eaten dinner. Therefore the rubbish stuff is not so tempting and you do not need to try and walk by it or get the smell of it. When going out try to only bring the exact money you need such as petrol money. It is all to easy to get fuel and then buy treats in the station if you have extra cash but if you only have a 20 and get 20 you dont have that option.

Keeping a food diary is a good thing. Most of us were raised on the premise of 3 square meals a day. That theory is not one I would subscribe to. I would eat little and often. I find after eating a big bowl of pasta I could still be starving but this is my mind being tricked by my body. Reading up on these things or visiting a dietician could also help.

If eating is boredom related then you need to find new hobbies and interests that will relieve that boredom. From experience exercise can be fantastic way to make you feel better and reduce sugarary food cravings.

There is also the possibility that it is more deep then the reasons I have given and you do mention seeing a therapist. I would assume this has been discussed etc in sessions and that there was a particular reason for starting therapy. You might consider going to support meetings. I dont know where you are based but bodywhys.ie have support meeting in dublin and sligo and also have great information on their site http://www.bodywhys.ie/aboutED/binge-eating-disorder/?gclid=CKnd_qX9zMwCFcGv2wodkwsBbA

I hope the above has been of some assistance and that I have not caused any upset. Take care and best of look.

It maybe worth visiting your GP to get checked out in relation to cholesterol alevels etc if this has been ongoing for a while

Magicmatilda

Hi OP,

Maybe try an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. There are many binge eaters there.

They have an Irish website if you google them.

Before you take steps about anything, I really would advise you to go see either a GP, a therapist, or a different relevant specialist of some form. Self-diagnosis definitely isn't a good thing. Plus, if diagnosed properly, they would be in a better place to advise and give correct information.

Alf Veedersane

I'd strongly recommend going to a cognitive behavioural therapist (CBT) to help address this.

Knowing you have a problem and wanting to address it is great bit you won't be able to get to the root cause of your unhealthy relationship with food.

I have been down a similar road and the CBT was brilliant.

That said, they're not specialists in eating disorders per se...they just help identify what causes behaviours and how to address them and in that sense, your current therapist should be able to do that with you as there will be non-food-related issues playing a role.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Parchment

Hi,

Well done for posting here and making the first steps to addressing this problem.

How is your relationship with your GP? if its a good one and you feel you can share with them about this it would be worth speaking to them about it but there may be no actual input from them from a medical perspective. Unfortunately not many GPs have a lot of experience with eating disorders but its still good to speak to them. They may want to check that you have no issues that may be causing cravings for food.

Secondly i would advise you to take a look at bodywhys.ie - they are an Irish organisation that supports people with eating disorders, you can look on the website in privacy and learn more. They have a food diary to help with recognising binge eating patterns and lots of self-help strategies.

Do you have a friend or family member/spouse you would be happy to speak to about this? Eating Disorders are a very secretive type of problem - i suffered from Anorexia for a few years and even though people could see i was unwell i spoke to nobody about it and it was my secret. I ate in private always. It felt like a filthy secret and that made me even more disgusted with myself.

You sound like a great mom and your daughter sounds really loved. You sound really aware of whats going on and thats great. Google therapists in your area who specialise in eating disorders. I initially saw a Psychiatrist that my GP referred me to, i didnt like her and her sessions did nothing for me so i stopped going. I googled therapists in my area and i found the woman who was to help me get my life back. She was a therapist who had trained with the Marino Therapy Centre :http://www.marinotherapycentre.com/ .She did CBT, i did some visualization work with her and lots of talking and breaking things down. i cried LOTS but things got better. Try another therapist - they are like hairdressers, you have to find the one thats right for you! Is there some specific reason you are in therapy now ? could that issue be causing these problems now?

Sorry - im rambling here but i do know what it feels like. Its not about the food - its about feelings, is there something you are trying to suppress?

Regarding what you are eating - the foods you mention are kind of seen as "bad" foods - i went through a phase of extreme "healthy" eating before i lapsed into anorexia again. Now i see food as food - its all energy. Sure its not good to eat 10 burgers a day but its not healthy to eat 10 bananas a day either! its all about balance.

Please know you are not alone, at my lowest moments when i was severely anorexic if felt i was the only one suffering like this and i was not. I thought there was no future for me and i would never feel free again - but i do have a future and i feel free and i swear you can too.

Please go to Bodywhys.ie and read through all the information, they have online support groups and they also have a helpline. They have lists of therapists also.

Parchment

silverharp wrote: »

Before trying to label yourself as having a "disorder" I can see from this part of your post that you don't have a good understanding of how particular types of food work on your body. You have replaced one type of high sugar food with other types so you continue eating foods that are likely to create cravings for more food. You may just be the type of person that needs to eat clean because if you don't you cant moderate the junk. It doesn't mean you never have chocolate but if you do you have the high cocoa type which doesn't lend itself to binging on.
At the end of the day not buying the cr@p food so its simply not in easy reach and looking at ways to have fun cooking quality food might be the way to go. Maybe find some reputable sources to learn more about different types of food impact on your body or mood.

Eating sugary foods all the time isnt a good idea but "eat clean" ideas are also not great. Its all about balance.

LegacyUser

I have to agree with parchment. Eating clean might not be he best thing for you. From going to what you're doing now to that is from one extreme to the other, you will likely go on massive binge 4 or 5 days in. It's about finding what's right for you.
I used to have an issue with eating (binging then not eating anything) and the only advice I can give you is to try and find a healthy balance. Of course you will have slip ups but it's all about taking it one step at a time. Ive cut out all diet drinks (I was drinking about a litre a day) and found I actually lost a stone, and that was with DIET drinks! I may have the odd "full fat "fizzy drink now. It may take time and you'll have to be patient though, it took me about 2 years to take control and I've been maintaining at a healthy weight for about a year and a half now. If I can do it anyone can,believe me!

silverharp

Parchment wrote: »

Eating sugary foods all the time isnt a good idea but "eat clean" ideas are also not great. Its all about balance.

it depends , I think initially you do need to just to see how does that change your attitude to food. at the end of the day some people can eat a bar of chocolate and a big bowl of pasta every day and not think twice about food outside that for other people a bowl of cornflakes can set off a day of sugar highs and lows.
In the medium term balance for sure but it still might need to be targeted ie, have a cheat meal at the weekend or have a cheat day even. Its kind of up to the OP to figure out is this more food issue or a self medication issue for something else

LegacyUser

silverharp wrote: »

In the medium term balance for sure but it still might need to be targeted ie, have a cheat meal at the weekend or have a cheat day even. Its kind of up to the OP to figure out is this more food issue or a self medication issue for something else

If the OP has an eating disorder this type of thinking about food can be more harmful then helpful. Having cheat meals/days etc is focusing on using food for control and leading to a spiral. OP you need to seek professional help not self diagnose. Eating disorders are very varied in the causes and treatments and it's important to get the right help.

It's a very hard issue to talk about with other people as unlike other vices like drugs and alcohol, food is not something you can just give up and it's something everyone has to do so unless they've experienced an eating disorder first hand people, like your mum for example, tend not to be very understanding. It's a lot of "just don't eat junk" advice.

Talk to your GP, if your not happy with their response don't be afraid to speak to a different GP, push to get the right treatment.

Parchment

silverharp wrote: »

it depends , I think initially you do need to just to see how does that change your attitude to food. at the end of the day some people can eat a bar of chocolate and a big bowl of pasta every day and not think twice about food outside that for other people a bowl of cornflakes can set off a day of sugar highs and lows.
In the medium term balance for sure but it still might need to be targeted ie, have a cheat meal at the weekend or have a cheat day even. Its kind of up to the OP to figure out is this more food issue or a self medication issue for something else

Sorry - i'm sure you are well intentioned but you are way off.

OP has a problem with eating, restricting food groups as you suggest by "eating clean" and even having a "cheat day" is not appropriate for a person with this problem. Placing more rules and restrictions around food is the worst idea for someone who already has disordered eating patterns.

I speak from experience. Its not about sugar highs and lows its about emotions and coping skills.OP needs to eat a balanced diet - including ALL foods while attending a therapist that works for her and also seeing her GP for any medical needs.

Roselm

Check out bodywhys.ie

santana75

bingercantstop wrote: »

I think I have binge eating disorder. I have self diagnosed but I have a lot of the characteristics. I eat in secret, I hate eating in front of other people, I try and hide the evidence when I have over eaten, I can eat until I almost faint with how full I am feeling. I am obviously eating for emotional reasons but it doesn't stop me. I have been in counselling for four years and it has only recently come up as there were many other things to sort out... I feel like such a failure.

People develop eating distress because of trauma for a start, but it can continue for a whole other set of reasons. Have you ever heard of the Minnesota starvation experiment? It was a study done on the effects on starvation on the body, its an incredible read and might give you some insights

http://joyproject.org/overcoming/starvation.html

Parchment

santana75 wrote: »

People develop eating distress because of trauma for a start, but it can continue for a whole other set of reasons. Have you ever heard of the Minnesota starvation experiment? It was a study done on the effects on starvation on the body, its an incredible read and might give you some insights

http://joyproject.org/overcoming/starvation.html

I dont think this is helpful for the OP as it relates to starvation. The OP has, from what she posted, not had this issue.

Its a fascinating study and something i referred to many times during my recovery.

beks101

OP do you have a history of dieting and trying to 'restrict' certain foods?

IME most people who struggle with emotional eating and compulsive overeating do. Including myself. Like you I have the childhood memories of eating compulsively in secret and my poor little kid's brain feeling like the worst person in the world. Restricting for a few days only to binge and back at square one again.

When it's that deeply ingrained it's a conditioned behaviour, the bingeing is almost like a pavlovian response to undereating and 'dieting'. That and the fact that it becomes a coping mechanism for you, a temporary relief against all your life stressors.

From my experience, you have to break the cycle emotionally before you attempt the physical stuff. Forget dieting and "healthy meal plans". You have to reduce the compulsive need to binge; once that's gone it becomes easier to let the habit go. I'd advise a change of therapist to someone who specializes in eating disorders who won't brush your food issues under the carpet. The wrong therapist will do untold damage. Anyone that hands you a 'food diary' and wants to talk about what you're eating is handling it the absolute wrong way IMO - it's not about the food. It's about how you feel about yourself.

I went to a psychotherapist for a while in the early days of my eating disorder, I just talked and cried and talked and cried for a few months. I'd say most of the hard work was done on my own accord though in the following years of my 20s, with self-reflections and diary-entries and long walks where I'd just cry in frustration, trips down to the library and hours online reading up on my condition and growing stronger with every urge that I fought.

It's very much a baby-steps process which can take years. In my case, more than a decade. There's no shortcuts and no quick fixes - something which people who binge eat usually magically cling on to. "I'll start on Monday...I'll lose 20 pounds by June...just one more binge and then I'll be good." You have to let all of these myths and misbeliefs go and just commit to always doing the kind thing for yourself - instead of the easy thing - even and especially when it's so far outside of your comfort zone that it feels scary.

The emotional part came first for me - growing stronger and gaining confidence with every compulsion that I conquered. Diet was all over the place though. About 2 years ago I joined an independent gym and met a bunch of awesome people who were 100% committed to training their bodies to be as fit and as strong as possible. That inspired me to change my diet and eat more frequently and more mindfully - as opposed to dieting - and I finally cut out the junk and got rid of my sugar addiction and got into the best shape ever. Not because I "had" to or because I hated my body - because I loved my body, respected what it had been through and wanted to give it what it deserved. For me that's the silver lining - and something I never would have been able to accomplish when I was busy hating myself, feeling like a failure, crashing unrealistic diets and hiding away eating rubbish in my room. That negative cycle doesn't allow for any light or happiness. You need to change from the inside out.

santana75

Parchment wrote: »

I dont think this is helpful for the OP as it relates to starvation. The OP has, from what she posted, not had this issue.

Its a fascinating study and something i referred to many times during my recovery.

I know on the surface it may not seem like the Minnesota experiment applies but if you look at carefully enough you'll see that its a perfect model for eating distress. The participants became binge eaters after the initial starvation phase and then re feeding phase. So binge eating in itself is born out of a period of starvation. I've studied eating distress and the people who had eating distress enough, to say that starvation/deprivation is there right across the board. Something switches in the brain where the body believes it is starving, even after normal eating has resumed. Plus all the other side effects that go with starvation, such as was seen in the study. One guy even chopped off a couple of his fingers.
The point is understanding. The study can help the op understand whats going on and that in itself is massive. Regular eating(mechanical even) is the way to re-establish equilibrium and then you can deal with the underlying causes that led to the eating distress in the first place.

shamrock2004

bingercantstop wrote: »

I think I have binge eating disorder. I have self diagnosed but I have a lot of the characteristics. I eat in secret, I hate eating in front of other people, I try and hide the evidence when I have over eaten, I can eat until I almost faint with how full I am feeling. I am obviously eating for emotional reasons but it doesn't stop me. I have been in counselling for four years and it has only recently come up as there were many other things to sort out... I feel like such a failure.

I have always eaten in secret, I remember stealing a packet of biscuits out of the press as a child and eating them in secret. The guilt and shame afterwards is horrendous. No one understand what I am going through.. All my friends don't have issues with food, I have tried talking to my mam before but she just blamed it on my time of the month (which I was on at the time I told her) and then asked me what my therapist said about it. I feel I might need to change my therapist as I want it more focused on food therapy.. if there is such a thing.

I have a three year old daughter and I am so scared she is going to end up the same way. I am currently eating a pizza (and yes i'm aware its not even 12pm) and was being super quiet so as not to wake her so I didn't have to share. I feel so horrible admitting that.. I do give her healthy meals and she loves fruit and veg. My aim when she was a baby was to introduce lots of healthy foods to her so that she is healthy. She eats all types of fruit and veg and I am proud of her for doing so, and proud of myself that I cook healthy meals for her. But I can't say the same for myself. I know I have a problem.

I have recently given up chocolate because that is my downfall.. But I just find myself being annoyed at the universe because "i can't have it".. I haven't had chocolate in about 2.5 weeks.. but I am compensating for it by over indulging on jellies, muffins, biscuits, crisps, things i wouldn't normally eat because it's chocolate that i mainly reach for..

What can you advise? I desperatly want help with this.

Forget what everyone else has told you OP.
A close family member is recovering from an eating disorder and we are so fortuitous they did not die. It was hidden from us for so long and we had no idea. We were lucky it was caught in time. You must go and talk to your doctor ASAP (not your therapist), especially (i don't think you mentioned it) if you are making yourself sick. An eating disorder is very serious and needs to be nipped in the bud quickly.

Keane2baMused

Go to your gp OP they can help.

If they do suspect this is an eating disorder they can refer you to professionals who can really help.

I'm not sure if you have health insurance but St Patrick's hospital runs an outstanding programme (both inpatient and out) for those with an E.D.

I met a number of people with binge eating disorders there and they got wonderful help and support.

Alf Veedersane

santana75 wrote: »

The participants became binge eaters after the initial starvation phase and then re feeding phase. So binge eating in itself is born out of a period of starvation. I've studied eating distress and the people who had eating distress enough, to say that starvation/deprivation is there right across the board. Something switches in the brain where the body believes it is starving, even after normal eating has resumed. Plus all the other side effects that go with starvation, such as was seen in the study. One guy even chopped off a couple of his fingers.
The point is understanding. The study can help the op understand whats going on and that in itself is massive. Regular eating(mechanical even) is the way to re-establish equilibrium and then you can deal with the underlying causes that led to the eating distress in the first place.

In many cases the issue has nothing to with binging or starvation. The food issue is usually a manifestation of something else completely unrelated to food.

The solution may be in linking patterns to feelings but the OP needs help making that link from a professional who can help get to the root of the problem.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Parchment

shamrock2004 wrote: »

Forget what everyone else has told you OP.
A close family member is recovering from an eating disorder and we are so fortuitous they did not die. It was hidden from us for so long and we had no idea. We were lucky it was caught in time. You must go and talk to your doctor ASAP (not your therapist), especially (i don't think you mentioned it) if you are making yourself sick. An eating disorder is very serious and needs to be nipped in the bud quickly.

Lots of people (almost everyone) suggested the OP go to a doctor.

I think along with advising that the OP see a doctor (and an understanding doctor) there has been some EXCELLENT advice given in this thread.

I am speaking from experience as i am recovered from anorexia nervosa.

LegacyUser

Hi guys, thanks for all your replies. Since posting it, I've been reading a lot into BED and other type of food issues and how to get help. I've begun looking at other areas of my life that might contribute to these binges and looking at what is causing them deep down. I am getting questions and statements prepared for when I'm in CBT next and going to try start to get to the bottom of it because I want this fixed as soon as possible so I can begin living my life properly. I have looked at bodywhys and am part of the online community so thanks for suggesting that.

I know it will take a long time, but I am ready to change.