Sexually Repressed Catholic Upbringing

Cherry Blossom

So I was watching Hillsborough and was really enjoying it. Then something terrible happened half an hour before the end. A man took off his shirt. So obviously as the program was now going to decend into full blown pornography it was labeled as 'filth' and promptly switched off. This happens every time I sit down to watch something and I can fully understand murders taking place over fights over the tele. I wouldn't mind but my mother tells everyone she meets that I watch pure filth on the tele. I'm thinking about sueing her for defamation of character.

When I was 11 I got the 'talk' and was told how absolutely horrific sex was and how it's something you have to do when you get married in order to have kids. My dad apparently was listening in the kitchen and decided to intervene. Then there was a full blown arguement and that was the grand sum of sex education from my parents.

I have only ever encountered one other woman like this. A friends mum, my friend and her brother are adopted. I'm just wondering if other people have encountered older women like this or are they a dying breed?

One eyed Jack

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I'm just wondering if other people have encountered older women like this or are they a dying breed?

I've encountered plenty of women like this, and generally speaking they were absolutely vicious in the sack! :pac:

I don't think they're dying out any time soon, thankfully, the world would be no fun if they did!

NIMAN

What's her opinion on what priests did to young boys and girls in their thousands?

Cherry Blossom

NIMAN wrote: »

What's her opinion on what priests did to young boys and girls in their thousands?

She hasn't identified as catholic since her mother died a few months after she got married. She has no opinion of any religion, she couldnt care less. The sexual repression is the only remnant left of a very strict catholic upbringing. I can only imagine 'sex is bad' was drummed into them all. She has a brother who's been in the closet all his life too.

Absolam

She managed to have you... she may not be as opposed to 'filth' as you think she is

Grab All Association

NIMAN wrote: »

What's her opinion on what priests did to young boys and girls in their thousands?

Lets not forget it wasn't just the priests. Fathers, mothers, uncles, cousins, teachers Christian Brothers and nuns etc were at it too. AND MOST OF THEM GOT AWAY WITH IT!

eviltwin

I remember my own mother being so bad she would turn off the tv if an ad for sanitary protection was on. It's not so much that she would change channels that bothers me, I get it that in her own way she was trying to protect us. It's how it was described. Any sexual activity, nudity, intimate body function was 'dirty' or 'filthy'. I change channels myself if something is on I think is not suitable for my child but will tell him its too mature or inappropriate for his age group.

robindch

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I'm just wondering if other people have encountered older women like this or are they a dying breed?

They're a dying breed, but they're still there and still whining that everybody else is obsessed by sex, while simultaneously being the only person who brings it up at every possible opportunity.

Search the forum for posts from me containing the word 'Popette' for the grim details.

The Sidewards Man

Absolam wrote: »

She managed to have you... she may not be as opposed to 'filth' as you think she is

The tiomaint can and does happen.

gctest50

Grab All Association wrote: »

Lets not forget it wasn't just the priests. Fathers, mothers, uncles, cousins, teachers Christian Brothers and nuns etc were at it too. AND MOST OF THEM GOT AWAY WITH IT!

mostly the priests though, one way or the other, leaders of the pack

Absolam

The Sidewards Man wrote: »

The tiomaint can and does happen.

Urgh. May I suggest fonn or díocas over tiomáint? Unless there's a bus or car involved...

wokingvoter

gctest50 wrote: »

[/SIZE]
mostly the priests though, one way or the other, leaders of the pack

Well, 90% + of child sex abuse is perpetrated by family members or close family friends, neighbours, of the victims , so your kidding yourself there

Pat Mustard

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I'm just wondering if other people have encountered older women like this or are they a dying breed?

Never heard it said that it was pornographic for a man to take off his shirt.

There are always some oddballs out there though.

One eyed Jack

Pat Mustard wrote: »

Never heard it said that it was pornographic for a man to take off his shirt.

There are always some oddballs out there though.

It's all about giving the appearance at least, of modesty and virtue

The idea of Irish society being sexually repressed is a modern common myth in some quarters. There have always been oddballs about that assumed they represented the majority of the population, and there were oddballs that assumed these people who assumed they were representing the majority of the population, actually did represent the majority of the population. They really didn't. One memorable example:


http://www.irishexaminer.com/viewpoints/analysis/this-is-how-the-late-late-show-helped-spark-a-cultural-revolution-in-ireland-381177.html

Pat Mustard

fepper wrote: »

he fathered 7 children and wanted more

Is that why he turned off the tv?

IsMiseMyself

My mother is has so much leftover Catholic guilt she can't say the word period, has about ten ridiculous words for vagina (but god forbid she'd say vagina), and gets extraordinarily flustered if someone on TV is having sex.

And she was a nurse for 20 years, so who even knows how that went.

Cherry Blossom

I can completely understand people turning things over due to inappropriateness for kids but I'm 36 years old and no one else was in the house. Sometimes I do wonder though if it's used as an excuse to watch something else.

One eyed Jack

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I can completely understand people turning things over due to inappropriateness for kids but I'm 36 years old and no one else was in the house. Sometimes I do wonder though if it's used as an excuse to watch something else.

I mean no disrespect when I say this but... honestly I'd never have thought you were 36!!

I figured you were in your teens!! :eek:

eviltwin

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I can completely understand people turning things over due to inappropriateness for kids but I'm 36 years old and no one else was in the house. Sometimes I do wonder though if it's used as an excuse to watch something else.

Well then you need to assert yourself more. You weren't watching porn. It's perfectly reasonable that there will be television which features partial nudity, it's not indecent. She can always turn away or leave if she's that sensitive.

One eyed Jack

eviltwin wrote: »

Well then you need to assert yourself more. You weren't watching porn. It's perfectly reasonable that there will be television which features partial nudity, it's not indecent. She can always turn away or leave if she's that sensitive.

I think it's perfectly reasonable in her own house that the OP's mother calls the shots, but it's this bit definitely I would suggest the OP needs to assert themselves more:

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I wouldn't mind but my mother tells everyone she meets that I watch pure filth on the tele. I'm thinking about sueing her for defamation of character.

FWIW OP btw, I know plenty women like this, and they aren't old women either, many of them are in their 20's and 30's. I don't think at this stage there's any talking to them, it's just the way they are.

Hotblack Desiato

wokingvoter wrote: »

Well, 90% + of child sex abuse is perpetrated by family members or close family friends, neighbours, of the victims , so your kidding yourself there

That may well be the case, but family members and family friends don't have the benefit of the wealthiest corporation in the world to shield them from justice, place them in positions of trust in new areas to seek fresh victims, send them to church funded 'treatment' as an alternative to prison, destroy records, move abusers and their co-conspirators beyond justice to cushy jobs in the Vatican, employ the highest priced lawyers in the land to defend them in court, provide them with a pension and room and board post-conviction for the few who are convicted.

The roman catholic church is an utterly despicable organisation and those who fund it are utterly immoral.

The average 'family or friend' paedophile will thankfully only have access to a small number of potential victims, many paedophile priests abused dozens or even hundreds of victims.

GarIT

wokingvoter wrote: »

Well, 90% + of child sex abuse is perpetrated by family members or close family friends, neighbours, of the victims , so your kidding yourself there

That's a really poor and biased use of statistics for the point you are making. Sure 90% (or whatever figure it is I haven't checked) of sexual abuse is carried out by someone known to the victim but every victim knows much more lay people than they know priests so of course abuse by non priests vs priests will be higher.

A good statistic to use would be that clergy are more likely to be paedophiles than most other professions.

I don't know of any other profession where you can ask a coworker to cover for you while you rape a child, or where your boss will transfer you to a foreign branch because the gradaí have started an investigation into you or you have been accused of raping a child.

Cherry Blossom

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I mean no disrespect when I say this but... honestly I'd never have thought you were 36!!

I figured you were in your teens!! :eek:

Ha,ha I'm a very immature 36, physically and mentally. If people don't believe me I just smile to show off my crows feet :pac:

Cherry Blossom

Technically it's her house but I own the tv and pay the sky bill and tv licence. Maybe I need sky multi room :P

CloudCumulus

Maybe you need to move out

Cherry Blossom

Moving out would be great except I'd have to pay rent for a house because dogs. I'd also have to pay two sets of Bill's, I'd still have to come here twice a day to drop my dogs off and pick them up again and see to my horses. I'd still have to buy and cook all her meals and I'd have two houses to clean. I'd have to pay for it all plus my car loan and running expenses out of a crappy fas allowance but yeah i'll just move out.

HalloweenJack

I never understood the concept of being informed about sex from people who have hever had sex and have taken an oath to never have sex.

If you have a cold, would you go to a guy who calls himself a doctor even though he never studied medicine and swore to never have anything to do with medicine?

My mother was fairly open about sexual matters but I still feel uncomfortable about sex, owing to my education and my overbearing religious grandparents. I have a fulfilling sex life but I still struggle to express my desires and at times I feel guilty for enjoying sex.

I can think of no reason other than having it drilled into me from a young age that sex was wrong and an ugly, unnecessary act that only needed to be done to create life, which is a ****ed up concpet, tbh. If it's the way to create life then surely it's a beauftiful act? It's also a lot of fun. As ever, information and education is the way forward. Keeping us in the dark ages and shaming us for thinking of it as a recreational act as opposed purely for procreation has set us back a long way and caused a lot of repression and damage.

That said, I think things are getting better. The legalisation of homosexuality, divorce and SSM are all big steps forward. It shows that we aren't completely obedient to Catholic teaching, that we can actually be independent thinkers, despite the years of indoctrination.

There are still people out there who think sex is bad. My ex, for example, enjoyed sex but always felt that it was a shameful thing to be doing and we'd go through sex droughts because she didn't like the fact that she enjoyed it. It made her feel ashamed. Bear in mind we were teens with no experience of adult life, this shame can only come from people "in the know" (I mean her parents or other authority figures, she went to a Loretto convent) preaching about the morals of sex.

I'm always surprised how Spain, another country with a massive Catholic influence comparable to our own country, has a more open approach to all things sex related. In fairness, this is a backlash of sorts to the end of the dictatorship in the 70s but it does give me hope that Ireland can become more open to people accepting, not being ashamed of and, most importantly, enjoying their sexuality.

panda100

+1 to all of the above. Would be interested to know what age you are HaloweenJack? I think many of us who grew up in the early 80's and 70's got the tail end of that Catholic dominance and influence in our upbringing.

It angers me a lot that the RC church has had such an influence on my experience and enjoyment of my own sexual identity. Having gone to (single sex) Catholic schools until I was 18 I had it drummed into me that responding to sexual urges was something that was sinful. Likewise at home my parents would have been very similar to the OPs,though they have mellowed a lot as they have got older. I think when you have something like that instilled in you for the first 18 years of your life it is very difficult to change your way of thinking about it and its something I struggled with all throughout my 20's. I am so jealous of all my friends who enjoyed active sex lives when in uni and managed to get passed the whole Catholic guilt hang up.

Does it not anger a lot of you in here that the church and its warped teachings have tainted something that really probably is one of the most pleasurable acts that humans can experience?

HalloweenJack

I'm 28 so most of my education was in the 90s.

My secondary was fairly non-religious, apart from "comparative" religion which was about 90% Catholicism and 10% comparison, but primary was very full-on.

Prayers first thing in the morning (I can still recite the Our Father fifteen years later) and regular visits from the parish priest. The school is actually located on church grounds, you had to go down a narrow lane between the church and the priest's house to get to the school, which was located behind both. It was off the main road so there was no other way to get there.

Cherry Blossom

My primary school was mixed denomination but a born again Christian type fella came for 2 hours every Friday. I asked him about evolution one day and was told only heathens believe we came from monkeys and ask questions like that. The teachers explanation after he left didn't wash either, I guess that's the point when I knew for sure it was all nonsense.

unfortunately

My upbringing was not sexually repressed, and my mother wasn't religious - we never went to mass or anything despite literally living across the road from the chapel. She probably had a loose belief but you couldn't really tell. But I remember staying at my aunts who lived a little farther out in the country and she was very much the conservative gossipy mass-goer; I must of been 11 or 12 (early 2000s) and we were watching "Big", the Tom Hanks film, which I'd seen before anyway. We were lying on the floor watching it and I remember during one scene where Hanks is about to kiss a woman and the channel suddenly changes. I remember looking over my shoulder a bit confused until I could see her sort of looking at her son, who was a year or so older than me as if she was protecting my innocence. I remember wanting to say "Kissing? I already know about sex". But Big is a children's film! It's not going to go further. But I remember here pre-emptive channel changing backfired when she returned after 30 seconds they were in the middle of a passionate kiss.

Actually, I found the scene here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cJfIrOto0k

They're dancing! Did she think they were going to strip off on the dance floor and go at it?!