Father's behaviour

LegacyUser

I don't know where to begin. My father is 60+. He overeats, has a poor diet (junk), poor personal hygiene and can be fond of a drink or two. He's also narky, can be quite unreasonable (bullying) and tends to be aggressive, stubborn and headstrong. These traits are not new.

We are not a touchy feely family and don't really talk about our feelings. We laugh and hang out and that side is generally fine, but what I've outlined at the start is now so much the norm. The thought of addressing this with him is very hard. I can see him being very defensive about it. I've never stood up to him directly and I know my mother finds it difficult to do.

I'm not sleeping well and feel this is affecting my self-worth. I do attend a therapist who is aware of some of this stuff, but I'm lost with all this now and don't want to burden others with it.

Sapphire

Why do you feel you need to address this with him? Do you live at home with him?

You wont change his behaviour and if you already have personal issues to deal with yourself I'm wondering why you'd bring all this on top of your head too when the only outcome is more stress for you and probably a poorer relationship between you and your dad.

What is it that is making you want to take this on?

Lavinia

Perhaps you can ask him how he feels and is everything alright, show that you care for him rather than some kind of "attacking" approach. Ask if he would go to a doctor to check his blood pressure and do a blood test and some general health things common for his age...