advice on bullyboy employer

frulewis

Right so just need a bit of advice. I started a job in February with an employer who owns runs and manages his business. I was taken on as an administrator with a training path into the accountancy role. I had said to him before I started that I had no accountancy training just a basic basic knowledge and he was happy with that there would be training yada yada... So start and within a few days know I've made the wrong decision he is arrogant rude and a control freak. Second week he makes me cry which is something I would never do but he got to me that much I couldn't hack it. It dawned on me that what he actually needed was a chartered accountant not a 'blank sheet' who knows nothing as he describes my good self. By the third week I was having panic attacks going in the door and by the fourth week it had all got very very weird. He sat with me all day nearly every day not training me justspeaking to me as if I was the most incompetent person that ever walked the earth. IF I picked up a calculator he'd mutter curses under his breath, if I said anything to him he'd ask me for whose benefit I was saying it for and when I'd say him he'd say not interested. I had to go out to the warehouse one day for a docket and next minute he was behind me he had followed me out what he thought I was up to I do not know. There is actually so much stuff that went on I would be here all night. On the fourth week he also asked me to go through my C.V as he wanted to check where I'd worked before... We had done this twice in the two interviews I had been at with him. So basically he bullied and intimidated me seemed to get a kick out of it by all accounts and I've since found out that I am the fifth in 18 months to be in the role. The lads in the warehouse were taking bets from day one to see how long I'd last as they do with any new person starting. I have been out sick since the start of March and am going to hand in my notice next week as there is no way I can go back I did go back for two days and lasted till lunchtime on the second day. so my question is is there any action I can take against him? Not for monetary gain but should this prick be able to get away with treating people like a piece of sh*t on his shoe? I've been to citizens advice but I'm just wondering if anyone has any personal experience? is there any point pursuing it? I should add that I didn't deserve the treatment I got my previous employers gave excellent references. I think he just treats everyone in this manner or all the 'thicks that came before me' as he so lovingly put it.

Also if anyone has any good words for the notice letter please do advise!

Tipperary Fairy

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but I'm not seeing anything that makes him sound like a bully,in the legal action kind of way anyway. Him being arrogant, rude and a control freak do not make him a bully.

It sounds like maybe he has (been given) the wrong impression about your experience, and it would be best to make it clear what experience you do have, in a formal meeting with him, preferably with someone else like hr.

On a personal level he sounds like a dick, but I don't know that you would get anywhere taking legal action against him. I would say hand in your notice and move on.

frulewis

Tipperary Fairy wrote: »

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but I'm not seeing anything that makes him sound like a bully,in the legal action kind of way anyway. Him being arrogant, rude and a control freak do not make him a bully.

It sounds like maybe he has (been given) the wrong impression about your experience, and it would be best to make it clear what experience you do have, in a formal meeting with him, preferably with someone else like hr.

On a personal level he sounds like a dick, but I don't know that you would get anywhere taking legal action against him. I would say hand in your notice and move on.

There is no HR it's just him, me and one other girl who works in another office. I didn't really get into the whole ins and outs but basically I was called thick, stupid and incompetent on a daily basis.In those words not in a roundabout way. I didn't misrepresent myself to him he knew exactly what my accountancy experience was which was basically none he knew I had strong admin skills which I do. Ah you're probably right just get over it and move on it just makes me so mad to think someone can treat a person like ****e and get away with it and it's been playing on my mind. ah well build a bridge and all that.

Tipperary Fairy

Well you left that part out of the op. If he really did call you those things then absolutely that's inappropriate and could be maybe classed as bullying. But it's my impression at least that taking action against someone for a he said / she said situation (as unless you have any proof or witnesses to the behaviour) would be quite difficult to get any result. So I'm not saying you shouldn't do anything just maybe be prepared to not be able to get anywhere with it.

Optimalprimerib

I really feel for you op. To me it sounds from the start like bullying behaviour from the start but I would worry about yourself and your health rather than looking to seek revenge or compensation as that could be a long and arduous process.

I am not sure but is there not a trip advisor style site where you review your employer? You could put in a few words to warn off his next victim.

syntheticjunk

Optimalprimerib wrote: »

I am not sure but is there not a trip advisor style site where you review your employer? You could put in a few words to warn off his next victim.

glassdoor.com for reviews, but its more about big companies.

Wabbit Ears

Seriously, if someone rolls your eyes or acts frustrated at you call them out on it. Point out they did it and that its not ok. Suggest that they grab a coffee or tea as a polite way of saying GTFO. This goes for everything in life, Dont be quick to take offence but always be clear where the lines of behaviour are.


Be non-aggression confrontational!! Never let a personal attack go unchallenged. If he says 'thicks that came before me' say, 'did you really just call me a thick?', if he's hovering, ask him to stop as you find it hard to concentrate with him over your shoulder.

People react to confrontation and naturally avoid it. If someone knows a personal comment will be challenged they simply wont make them. Its just the path of least resistance. Manage how people act towards you, you're the only one who can.

Diziet

Tipperary Fairy wrote: »

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but I'm not seeing anything that makes him sound like a bully,in the legal action kind of way anyway. Him being arrogant, rude and a control freak do not make him a bully.

It sounds like maybe he has (been given) the wrong impression about your experience, and it would be best to make it clear what experience you do have, in a formal meeting with him, preferably with someone else like hr.

On a personal level he sounds like a dick, but I don't know that you would get anywhere taking legal action against him. I would say hand in your notice and move on.

On the contrary, the behaviour the OP described is bullying. Definitely hand in your notice, OP. Not sure how much can be done legally as you have not been there long enough.