Jumping off the wardrobe at someone?

The Backwards Man

Has anyone ever done it? How did it work out?

JackieBauer

F.uck the wardrobe, a lot of people here are still in the closet

Oh no. I don't like this.

When I was a little girl there used to be a big old wardrobe at the bottom of my bed. For a time I had a recurring dream where I would stand on top and jump off. Of course in the dream it was massive.

And then! A few nights ago for the first time in years that dream came back!

Except this time it wasn't a wardrobe. I don't know what it was but I jumped and can still remember the feeling in my belly. It was queasy and weird. I kept telling myself to just go with it because I'd wake up in a minute.

Ruu

Often jumped out of one but not off one.

Cathy.C

No, but I swang from a chandelier.

The Backwards Man

Ruu wrote: »

Often jumped out of one but not off one.

Yeah, me too. Heard a story tonight of a fella who jumped off one, missed the bed and ended you with a dislocated knee. What's the point?

Turtyturd

Isn't that how you get into those skinny jeans, jump off the wardrobe into them?

Dial Hard

The Backwards Man wrote:

Yeah, me too. Heard a story tonight of a fella who jumped off one, missed the bed and ended you with a dislocated knee. What's the point?

I'm pretty sure that was a Fat Slags storyline.

Wardrobe fell over. A few people almost got injured.

I was 7 and we were playing WWF though. Nothing sexy.

The Backwards Man

Dial Hard wrote: »

I'm pretty sure that was a Fat Slags storyline.

Na, it was the window cleaner in my local town. Could only do bungalows for months afterwards.

Dial Hard

The Backwards Man wrote:

Na, it was the window cleaner in my local town. Could only do bungalows for months afterwards.

Oh well then it must be true...

One eyed Jack

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Has anyone ever done it? How did it work out?

Diving board works much better...

bodhrandude

Back in my mindless youth in the early 80s I remember being at some crazy zippy hippie party in Glasgow boozed up on Buckfast and Gold Label Barley Wine beer, so was in a bit of a state. I never jumped off a wardrobe but I did climb on top of one that night, fell through the inside. Was woke up by the cops as they were clearing the party out, I stepped out of the wardrobe and ambled off home. If I recall, there was also two dope dealers in the room who were trying to pretend they were lamps, they actually had lampshades over their heads, mental.

The Backwards Man

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Na, it was the window cleaner in my local town. Could only do bungalows for months afterwards.

Funniest thing I've heard in ages. I hope it's true.

Anyone who's ever had a sibling has had someone jump out of a wardrobe to scare their much younger sister so badly that she peed (a bit) on the beside rug, screamed her head off, burst into tears, told their mum, had them grounded for a month, had nightmares for a year afterwards and still hasn't forgiven them.

Or, you know, something along those lines.

kneemos

Do they still make wardrobes? Can't say I've seen one for quite some time.

recylingbin

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Na, it was the window cleaner in my local town. Could only do bungalows for months afterwards.

Similarly, I knew a window cleaner who fell off his ladder and mangled his lip. This left him incapable of whistling, so he jacked it in.

roverrules

Never jumped off the wardrobe, but did used to run from the door and dive on top, all fine until I tripped on the mat and went in headfirst!

gramar

El salto del tigre in Spanish or the tiger jump. Assuming you land on your prey it's almost guaranteed to see you both end up in hospital.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Why would anyone want to do that

gozunda

Know of an individual who had dressed up as batman whilst girlfriend was tied to the bed. In his role as batman he jumped off the wardrobe only for it to fall on him and knock him out.

The girlfriend couldn't do anything to get help and had to resort to shouting loudly to attract attention. The neighbours eventually called the fire brigade/ police who broke down the door to find herself starkers tied to the bed and himself still out cold dressed in his batman outfit

A nice fireman kindly released the lady from the handcuffs and batman was taken away by ambulance and treated in hospital for concussion but was otherwise grand. Dont think they never lived that one down ever after.

smash

gozunda wrote: »

Know of an individual

When you say you know of, it must mean that you read it somewhere because it's an old urban myth. Various versions of this story have floated around for years.

gozunda

smash wrote: »

When you say you know of, it must mean that you read it somewhere because it's an old urban myth. Various versions of this story have floated around for years.

Well I could print their name and location but that wouldn't really be a good idea now would it :rolleyes:

Maybe people like to roll play and dress up. It's not really that uncommon.

You live up to the picture in your avatar?

It all depends on how old you are, OP.

fatknacker

How high are everyone's ceilings?

smash

fatknacker wrote: »

How high are everyone's ceilings?

I have built in wardrobes so technically I have to jump off my roof.

gozunda

fatknacker wrote: »

How high are everyone's ceilings?

Or what height are the wardrobes? I find old houses though do tend to have higher ceilings but also bigger wardrobes!

Dial Hard

Candie wrote: »

Anyone who's ever had a sibling has had someone jump out of a wardrobe to scare their much younger sister so badly that she peed (a bit) on the beside rug, screamed her head off, burst into tears, told their mum, had them grounded for a month, had nightmares for a year afterwards and still hasn't forgiven them.

Or, you know, something along those lines.

My brother LIVED to scare the bejaysis out of me and has happily admitted to hiding in perfect silence for hours to attain the perfect scare.

The one I will remember on my deathbed (at the age of c.47 due the years he has taken off my life due to repeated almost-heart attacks) is the time I thought I was at home alone, I'd say I was about 12. I'd been there for easily three hours or more without hearing a sound from anyone (and I'm pretty sure the alarm was on when I came in), so my guard was down. I needed something from the attic and I was a bit scared of taking our sliding attic stairs down with the pole so I used to just jump up on the bannister and stand on it while I opened the attic door and got the ladder down.

He snuck up the stairs behind me, waited til I was balanced on the bannister and then grabbed my ankles and went "GAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

I honestly thought I was going to die of fright and I think he thought I was going to die of a broken neck because I very nearly fell backwards over the bannister and down the stairs, he had to shove me the other way and I fell onto the landing instead. Genuinely couldn't stand up for about 10 minutes, I was so shook; bawled my eyes out and everything. He got in SOOOOOOO much trouble for that one.

Still laughs about it to this day, the evil fcucker. I'm 34 and he's 39 :rolleyes:

maudgonner

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Yeah, me too. Heard a story tonight of a fella who jumped off one, missed the bed and ended you with a dislocated knee. What's the point?

Is this a drunk-thread-by-proxy? You meet some lad that has a few pints on him, he tells you a tale and you come back here to post it?

A new departure for The Backwards Man.

Dial Hard

Dial Hard wrote: »

My brother LIVED to scare the bejaysis out of me and has happily admitted to hiding in perfect silence for hours to attain the perfect scare.

You have to admire his commitment though!

Robsweezie

off the wardrobe BAH GAWD! HE DAMN BEAR BROKE HIM IN HALF