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Homophobic Experiences

  • 05-04-2016 11:19pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭


    So, tonight, after 7 months with my boyfriend, I experienced my very first homophobic experience. While I walked my boyfriend home and we held hands, a man turned around and said "that's f**cking disgusting." Of course he said it after he had already passed us :rolleyes:

    Obviously this is an extremely mild form of homophobic experience but it rattled me nonetheless. I had never even considered the possibility of encountering any hate for showing love for my boyfriend in public. It was my first encounter with homophobia. I'm probably fairly lucky in that respect. I ignored it and my boyfriend didn't even hear it. I just felt that since the gay marriage referendum passed that this sort of thing might be a thing of the past. Clearly I was wrong.

    I'm just wondering if it's a regular occurrence for lgbt people in Ireland? What is your usual reaction and does it get you down?

    Sorry if this has been a thread already. I'm new to the forum.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 312 ✭✭Boater123


    That's **** man, sorry it happened.

    Just take it that you're a better person that can show love than the so and so that can only show hate.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,410 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Not mild. You were told you're disgusting. Not nice.

    On the upside, it's an increasingly minority view.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,760 ✭✭✭Effects


    I had never even considered the possibility of encountering any hate for showing love for my boyfriend in public.

    Really?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    I meant mild in the sense that, in the past, people have been beaten to death over being an member of the lgbt community. That doesn't take away from how bad or small it made me feel but I'm just acknowledging that people have had, and do have it, worse than I do.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    Effects wrote: »
    Really?

    Yes really. It never crossed my mind tbh


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  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,380 CMod ✭✭✭✭Ten of Swords


    That's a shīt thing to happen :(

    Try not to let it get under your skin though, it was a throwaway comment from someone you will likely never see again so don't overthink it. I've always thought it takes a special kind of vitriol to pass spiteful comments like that just as they're almost out of earshot.
    I just felt that since the gay marriage referendum passed that this sort of thing might be a thing of the past. Clearly I was wrong.

    Homophobia hasn't gone away just because the referendum passed. It is not as obvious as it once was but it's still around and there are plenty of bitter people out there. All you can do is manage your reaction to it if it happens, that does not mean live in constant fear of it happening again.

    I hope this doesn't deter you from holding your boyfriends hand in public in future, you did nothing wrong and have nothing to feel bad about.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I just felt that since the gay marriage referendum passed that this sort of thing might be a thing of the past. Clearly I was wrong.

    I'm just wondering if it's a regular occurrence for lgbt people in Ireland?

    You are right and wrong I guess. It is the kind of behaviour that is on the decline - but it is not dead yet. The referendum did not cure anything but it is certainly a step in the direction of curing it.

    But such attitudes and behaviours are still out there. In the real world and even on here on boards where we have regular users - even users who post on this LGBT area of the forum - who think men should not be holding hands in restaurants and that the management should prevent such behaviour if anyone spots it and complains!

    That is the level of mentality we still have to deal with in _some_ people but thankfully people operating at the level are increasingly the minority.


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,242 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    It's a sad world we live in when two People in love can't walk down the street without being harassed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    I remember walking down O'Connell street holding the BFs hand. Outside McDonalds there was a gang of hoodies who cat-called us. I stopped, turned round and gave them a wave before making it out that I was going to walk over to them. Before I knew it they buried their heads in their food and cycled off. If you realised how little people put into these ignorant words...it does help. Not a consolation for being picked on though at any rate.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,040 ✭✭✭12Phase


    OP: it's the cat callers who are f***ing disgusting!

    Some sad old git with nothing better to do than harass a passing couple.


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