Confidence with Women quite low

Superhero1993

The thread title basically explains it all.
I have falling in love with a woman that I work with that has a BF. She seems happy with him so there is no way around it. Any advice on how to get over her?

I'm a 22 year old lad and have never been in love before but a few of my friends say that it sounds like love and I think I agree as I have never felt like this before. I feel absolutely **** knowing I can't have her and my mood lifts when I am around her.
At the moment the thought of having any woman other than her seems pointless.

Any advice

LegacyUser

You haven't given us much to go on, OP, however it sounds like you are holding yourself back, and maybe not approaching women, as you think it's not worth it bacause they won't like your issues? Maybe you should let them decide that. Please don't assume all women will reject you as you have issues, everybody has issues of one form or another. Possibly as well, it comes across that you are unsure of yourself. You say you have low confidence, yet you call yourself Superhero :P, and say you have a lot of female friends, so I would say confidence is not the issue. I think the issue is that you are afraid of people's reactions when you reveal your real self to them. If you start to think of yourself in a better light you would be less afraid of what people may think. Also, may I add that by and large women are not usually so horrible to completely write someone off because of something like that. I am a woman myself and personally if I liked someone then all I would care about is their character and how they treat me. If you are a generally decent and respectful person you should be fine.
R.

zoobizoo

Listen - friend of mine has mental health issues and has had plenty of gfs and is now married

Regardless of your issues, lots of 22 year olds have a lack of confidence when it comes to women - but remember, they're just like men...

In what way do you interact with them at present.... college.... work etc?

Superhero1993

zoobizoo wrote: »

Listen - friend of mine has mental health issues and has had plenty of gfs and is now married

Regardless of your issues, lots of 22 year olds have a lack of confidence when it comes to women - but remember, they're just like men...

In what way do you interact with them at present.... college.... work etc?

Through work, college and on nights out but I have had a lot of women that I have liked but have had no luck.

Superhero1993

Have changed thread as I feel this is my biggest problem atm.

Superhero1993

rayray84 wrote: »

You haven't given us much to go on, OP, however it sounds like you are holding yourself back, and maybe not approaching women, as you think it's not worth it bacause they won't like your issues? Maybe you should let them decide that. Please don't assume all women will reject you as you have issues, everybody has issues of one form or another. Possibly as well, it comes across that you are unsure of yourself. You say you have low confidence, yet you call yourself Superhero :P, and say you have a lot of female friends, so I would say confidence is not the issue. I think the issue is that you are afraid of people's reactions when you reveal your real self to them. If you start to think of yourself in a better light you would be less afraid of what people may think. Also, may I add that by and large women are not usually so horrible to completely write someone off because of something like that. I am a woman myself and personally if I liked someone then all I would care about is their character and how they treat me. If you are a generally decent and respectful person you should be fine.
R.

Haha thanks for the reply. Btw the username is because I like the superhero genre lol

LegacyUser

ah well, in this case all I can say is just wait it out, and it will eventually pass with time. In a few months you will look back and think to yourself how daft you were to like someone who didn't feel the same way. No doubt you will eventually find someone who does, chin up, my friend, you have all the time in the world

Rubberchikken

you sound like a decent person who's maybe lacking in a little confidence. it can't be easy for lads to approach girls but it's going to take working up the courage if you want a relationship.
this person at work has a BF so she's obviously out of reach, for the moment, so try to concentrate on someone who is available.

get out there and give yourself the opportunity to come into contact with as many females as possible. keep things on a friendly level and get to know someone then ask them out.

i realise it's soundseasier than it is, but superheros don't let anything stop them:) good luck

Superhero1993

Thanks for the replies. Appreciate it.

Superhero1993

Please tell me this get's easier. It has hit me like a tonne of bricks. I have never been in love before. I can feel the tears filling up in my eyes thinking about her.

LegacyUser

ok im going to be honest, theres only two choices if you want to get over it. 1.Tell her, and let her decide what to do about it, or 2. cut all contact. In my experience you can only get over these things when you eliminate all reminders of them. If you see her every day of the week in work for the rest of your life, then you will think of her for the rest of your life. Someone told me once that being in love is basically an addiction to a person, and should be treated as such. I can guarantee you that we've all been through this, it is horrible. I can also guarantee you that even if nothing comes of it you WILL one day look back and roll your eyes. I feel you though, im sure more people here will say the same

Superhero1993

rayray84 wrote: »

ok im going to be honest, theres only two choices if you want to get over it. 1.Tell her, and let her decide what to do about it, or 2. cut all contact. In my experience you can only get over these things when you eliminate all reminders of them. If you see her every day of the week in work for the rest of your life, then you will think of her for the rest of your life. Someone told me once that being in love is basically an addiction to a person, and should be treated as such. I can guarantee you that we've all been through this, it is horrible. I can also guarantee you that even if nothing comes of it you WILL one day look back and roll your eyes. I feel you though, im sure more people here will say the same

Good idea. Thanks