Son (three in July) biting incessantly in creche

lawred2

Our son, who has always been a bit of a handful, has apparently been biting at creche. Biting is by no means the only thing he gets up to at creche but it's definitely the worst. He's a boisterous child to say the least. Always has been.

There is a good wee man in there. We definitely see it in glimpses. He is sensitive and can be a lot of fun. He loves messing about and horseplay.

But he has a bold streak.

He can be told not to do something and two minutes later do the exact same thing again.

He torments his younger brother.

Anyway; to our heartbreak, it is becoming obvious that the girls at creche (who are all generally lovely and have always liked the wee man) are beginning to lose patience with him. None of his peers are biting. He remains the only one. Other parents (rightfully) have raised the issue. We're at our wits' end.

The creche want us to come in for a chat with regards to a common approach. Which is obviously the first step. But I'm thinking that maybe professional help will be the ultimate destination.

Has anyone any experience of something similar? What approach was taken?

We are thinking that he might have to come out of creche completely if this doesn't get sorted. And it needs to be sorted asap.

lawred2

I've heard about play therapy... anyone have any knowledge/experience of that?

littelady

Hi Op, we had the same issue with our son, he is the eldest and fairly immature. I was at my wits end too and I felt people thought I wasn't enforcing enough discipline but the truth was very different. It's true what people say he will simply grow out of it. I'm sure the creche had this issue before and if you be honest with the other parents there most likely to understand. With the summer hols looming he is sure to mature over time. Good luck.

lawred2

littelady wrote: »

Hi Op, we had the same issue with our son, he is the eldest and fairly immature. I was at my wits end too and I felt people thought I wasn't enforcing enough discipline but the truth was very different. It's true what people say he will simply grow out of it. I'm sure the creche had this issue before and if you be honest with the other parents there most likely to understand. With the summer hols looming he is sure to mature over time. Good luck.

sadly with two working parents - summer holidays are meaningless in our house.

dori_dormer

Hopefully there creche have been checking for triggers. If certain scenarios are happening right before he bites. Does he bite at home? They should have a plan to enact in these cases and will run it by you so you can all be on the same page. Lots of kids do it out of frustration or for attention. I don't think at 3 they do it intentionally.

mordeith

Firstly it's worth checking if he has worms (I'm not joking)
Our youngest has also bitten at playschool. We have taken him to a farm which does small group sessions with other kids with social issues. This has certainly helped. We also withdrew his playtime on the computer. He was aghast at our cruelty and there was quiet a tantrum but this had also led to an increase in good behaviour.

Edit: Just to clarify, the punishment was a direct consequence to the last biting incident and only held for a day. When there is no negative incident we allow his allocated time and say it's because of his good behaviour

lawred2

mordeith wrote: »

Firstly it's worth checking if he has worms (I'm not joking)
Our youngest has also bitten at playschool. We have taken him to a farm which does small group sessions with other kids with social issues. This has certainly helped. We also withdrew his playtime on the computer. He was aghast at our cruelty and there was quiet a tantrum but this had also led to an increase in good behaviour.

Hi,

Where is that farm?

mordeith

lawred2 wrote: »

Hi,

Where is that farm?

East Cork.

lawred2

mordeith wrote: »

East Cork.

Oh well... that's a non runner then. Have to find something similar local.

LegacyUser

How is his language?
Is he biting in situations where he can't (ie, isn't able to) say what he wants or is feeling, or is he just randomly biting when he doesn't get his own way or doesn't get what he wants?

CaraMay

Definitely deworm him using vermox and if that doesn't work then talk to your Gp for advice on how else to treat parasite / worms.

Does he bit other stuff as well? Maybe he has some sensory needs?

amdublin

Excuse my ignorance but what's the connection with a child having worms and biting other children

CaraMay

Worms / parasites can cause biting, teeth grinding, hyperactivity etc worms are very common in toddlers due to the nature of their play.

I just wonder if he is biting his sleeve, toys etc as well. Biting can also be sensory and due to the child needing pressure in the mouth area.

galah

Just a word of advice, depending on where you are - getting him assessed (if that's the route you want to go down) can take ages, so get the ball rolling early. We're 7 months into the wait for an appointment for behavioural issues with our four year old - aggressive behaviour started in creche as well. It's incredibly frustrating hearing the bad reports day in day out, knowing you are trying to get help but get caught in the stupid disorganised system that is the hse west.

Even private options (found one recently, at a huge cost) have long waiting lists...

Are doing play therapy at the moment, no results yet as he refuses to talk to therapist (3months into that).

lawred2

Well we did nothing other than constantly talking to him and he hasn't bitten in over three weeks...

His speech has progressed brilliantly in the last month or so as well so we're thinking maybe the biting was a consequence of entering a new developmental phase..